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Thread: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    whenever i am stressed at work i always manage to take it out on the new girls. girls who are 18-19 and already terrified and have no clue what they are doing. i dont feel bad doing it but afterwards i do...

    i feel like such a bitch and dont want to be but god.

    sometimes i feel like i may be doing them a favor and scare them out of the job, becuase they dont seem strong enough for it.

    i still feel bad. im so mean

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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    How exactly do you take it out on them?

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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    whenever i am stressed at work i always manage to take it out on the new girls. girls who are 18-19 and already terrified and have no clue what they are doing. i dont feel bad doing it but afterwards i do...

    i feel like such a bitch and dont want to be but god.

    sometimes i feel like i may be doing them a favor and scare them out of the job, becuase they dont seem strong enough for it.

    i still feel bad. im so mean
    I'm 20 and I got that alot too from the older dancers, and yes it terrified me but I put on my face.
    They started giving me respect when they realized I got skilllzzzz
    The younger dancers 18-19 are the one that are doing all the hatin and stuff
    I'm mean to them sometimes...

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    we have a high turn over, and these girls are scared little mice, very timid and dont seem right for the buisness.

    not that that makes it better.

    i just am not nice to them dont talk to them or luagh at them on stage. if they come to a table im at im not very nice but not so rude that its obvious.

    new girls who have danced before dont bother me, genrally unless they are extras girls.

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    When I was new, a more "seasoned" dancer was so mean to me. Her name was Willow, she worked in a dive bar in Florida, and I was interfering on her turf, I guess. By that, I mean the night I started I had a slightly similar outfit to ONE of hers and she started to hate me. I see now in retrospect that it was because I was the younger, better version of what she used to be. She was awful to me. One night she pushed me against a locker and spit tuna salad sandwich all over me. She was fucking awful. I still remember that, 6 years later.

    The point is, it just makes you look bad and it really sticks with some people

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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    we have a high turn over, and these girls are scared little mice, very timid and dont seem right for the buisness.

    not that that makes it better.

    i just am not nice to them dont talk to them or luagh at them on stage. if they come to a table im at im not very nice but not so rude that its obvious.

    new girls who have danced before dont bother me, genrally unless they are extras girls.
    hmmm interesting... i think you posted something about meds in another post, is it for moods
    I feel when I'm in my mood swings at work, I'm a little short with the newbies, young bucks ect, usually when I skip a day of my anti-pychotic... You think that might be the issue as well? or maybe it's your way of trying to toughen them up... if they reacted to you in a different way then scared and timid, would you act a little different towards them as they got some balls
    I do agree with you you can't me minnie mouse up in this biz... your wasting your time and you'll drive yourself crazy with self doubt.

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    thats not why i do it, im a top earner and a bitch. the girls i do this are not competition for anyone.

    i just wanted to put this out there to get responses and aknowlage the fact to myself that i am beeing an asshole needlessly.

    i think i do it for a lot of reasons

    i feel some girls would get eaten alive in this buisness and they would be better suited elsewhere
    and also i guess i do feel like if they cant take it and toughen up then they wont be tough enouhg for what the guys dish out.

    as far as stage goes noobs on stage are just hillarious half the time.

    im trying to better myself and i thought storys from girls about how others were mean to them might make me think twice or appologise.

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    Featured Member Starfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    I think a lot of girls are mean to new girls because girls were mean to us when WE were new girls, so after putting up with it we all feel like we've earned the right or something.

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    spit tuna salad sandwich all over me. She was fucking awful. I still remember that, 6 years later.

    The point is, it just makes you look bad and it really sticks with some people
    oh god thats aweful!

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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    thats not why i do it, im a top earner and a bitch. the girls i do this are not competition for anyone.

    i just wanted to put this out there to get responses and aknowlage the fact to myself that i am beeing an asshole needlessly.

    i think i do it for a lot of reasons

    i feel some girls would get eaten alive in this buisness and they would be better suited elsewhere
    and also i guess i do feel like if they cant take it and toughen up then they wont be tough enouhg for what the guys dish out.

    as far as stage goes noobs on stage are just hillarious half the time.

    im trying to better myself and i thought storys from girls about how others were mean to them might make me think twice or appologise.
    alright i get cha your basically self reflecting. Its a good thing though that your noticing it and willing to change.... your on the inside looking out and back in... if you can understand that... i wish i had that quality sometimes... I only realize things until they are pointed out and I'll be in denial

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    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    thats not why i do it, im a top earner and a bitch. the girls i do this are not competition for anyone.

    i just wanted to put this out there to get responses and aknowlage the fact to myself that i am beeing an asshole needlessly.

    i think i do it for a lot of reasons

    i feel some girls would get eaten alive in this buisness and they would be better suited elsewhere
    and also i guess i do feel like if they cant take it and toughen up then they wont be tough enouhg for what the guys dish out.

    as far as stage goes noobs on stage are just hillarious half the time.

    im trying to better myself and i thought storys from girls about how others were mean to them might make me think twice or appologise.
    OMG I'm really glad I didn't work with you when I first started dancing at my first club. I was one of those timid, overly nice girls that a lot of people probably didn't think was cut out for the business(none of the dancers told me this, but a few customers did, such as the jerk customer who told me I was "too humble to be a stripper").

    Yeah some girls just aren't cut out to be dancers, but does that mean they shouldn't dance at least short-term? Some girls start dancing because they are in desperate situations for money. They might not *want* to be dancing, but they're doing it because they realize that they have to do what they have to do. Hey, it could be worse...they could be reeling in Welfare instead of earning money themselves through dancing, which would hurt all of us taxpayers including you(assuming you pay taxes on your earnings).

    I was one of these girls. I started dancing because I was in a LOT of debt plus I needed a job that actually paid a living wage. It served as a "stepping stone" for me to pull myself out of the crappy hole I was in, and it stabilized me as I searched for a regular job in my career field. Although dancing was never "the" job best suited for me, I'm glad that I did it because it helped me to dramatically improve my life and when I was stabilized and tired of it, I was able to quit and move on(see my thread titled "improvements you've made in recent years").

    Also consider that even if a dancer is a low earner(e.g., $100 per shift), that money might STILL be worlds better than the money she'd be making at the only other jobs that she'd have a shot of getting hired at. These girls might really need the money, at least just for now until they can get stabilized.

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    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    Omg you laugh at them while they are on stage?

    Even though I know what I am doing and am not new to this, if I saw someone laughing at me while on stage, I would feel like shit. I cant imagine how the poor noobs feel.

    Well atleast you are recognizing the problem and can try to fix it right?

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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    I'm not mean or anything to the n00bs, but I'm not friendly either. At least not at first. I ignore them until I can sniff out what they're about. If they seem cool but nervous I'll offer them a lil advice. If they're overly scared I might hint that perhaps this biz isn't right for them - because it's NOT right for girls who are that scared. If they're the type who have totally the WRONG idea about how our money is made, I will let them know what's up in one way or another.

    N00bs need training, and the only way they're going to get it is from us older girls because they're damn sure not gonna get shit from the club except maybe a hard time. I'd rather work with some cool young chics who've been given a clue than a bunch of ignorant, ill-advised babies who do more harm for the biz than good. EVERY club is better when it's full of girls who have a clue about the game!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Veteran Member RebeccaSolidarity's Avatar
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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    um... the whole "this person cannot hack so im gonna be mean to them for their own good" approach? it really gets everyone absolutely nowhere. a couple of people were pulling it on a good friend of mine once. all that came from it was a good person (and a really good dancer) being crushed by people who really could have been helping her instead, forcing her out of a job that she enjoyed more than most, while thrusting her into an even worse financial situation than the one she had already been in. oh, that and the treatment she received from those folk completely decimated her self esteem for awhile.

    i got similar treatment when i first started doing my glass routines with carnivals and such, under the name glasserella con carnie. the other carnies were mean as hell to me because they expect everyone to have a thick skin and - although i do actually have a pretty thick skin - they just did not think that i had that sort of toughness in me. it was really frustrating and i would have left it all behind if not for a couple of circus gentleman who took me aside and helped me work out my place there and so forth while teaching me a bit more about carnival showmanship. now i am one of the better glass performers out there today and i would not be if it had not been for a couple older showfolk deciding to be educate rather than terrorize.

    personally i really hope that once i find the right club and get hired nobody will try to pull that sort of thing on me again. the thought of it is already kind of intimidating enough without more seasoned people making fun and being bitches. that kind of approach sucks, basically. totally not rad.

    It can be difficult to make a recently single man pay for sex when he knows that a quick trip to the local watering hole would secure at least one hard drunken tumble for far less cash. It is even more difficult when he is something of a dead ringer for James Bond as played by Daniel Craig and possesses the sort of awkard charm and confidence that brands a man like him as a lady killer.

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    Featured Member Kalligirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    POSITIVE ENERGY IS CONTAGIOUS.

    To 'take out' negative energy- okay ill stop being so metaphysical- if u wanna bully some new girl, it's gonna come right back 3 fold.

    I think a lot of people on this board have super ego's and I'm wht u call a top earner and I never ever ever am mean to someone for no reason.

    I don't care if u shit ice cream, make a million dollars a night. These so called mice probably just don't want to get their ass kicked, but how do you even know their true personality if you are too busy making them miserable? What if they have kids to feed but you are causing them such a headache at work that its --------- do I need to go on?

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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Lexi View Post
    Omg you laugh at them while they are on stage?

    Even though I know what I am doing and am not new to this, if I saw someone laughing at me while on stage, I would feel like shit. I cant imagine how the poor noobs feel.

    Well atleast you are recognizing the problem and can try to fix it right?

    WOW, I haven't done club work yet (but plan to), just parties. To the OP, I do know if another dancer laughed at me while I was on stage they would more than likely get their ass kicked or bitch slapped..Maybe I'm a little harsh but that's just rude...That type of shit is not cool..Hope you're working on changing that negativity towards the noobs ma...Whenever I'm stressed I just go to the shooting range...Instant stress killer..lol...

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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    whenever i am stressed at work i always manage to take it out on the new girls. girls who are 18-19 and already terrified and have no clue what they are doing. i dont feel bad doing it but afterwards i do...

    i feel like such a bitch and dont want to be but god.

    sometimes i feel like i may be doing them a favor and scare them out of the job, becuase they dont seem strong enough for it.

    i still feel bad. im so mean
    There is a way out of this ibreathein. Posting your feelings here is a start. Find someone you've been mean to, and apologize to them without offering any excuses. Tell them you would like to make amends, perhaps offering to help them when they need it. Make an offer to your manager that when someone new starts, you will take them under your wing and show them the ropes.

    If you do these things, how you will feel inside will be the precise opposite of how you feel now. Imho.
    hb

  18. #18
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    Quote Originally Posted by RebeccaSolidarity View Post
    um... the whole "this person cannot hack so im gonna be mean to them for their own good" approach? it really gets everyone absolutely nowhere. a couple of people were pulling it on a good friend of mine once. all that came from it was a good person (and a really good dancer) being crushed by people who really could have been helping her instead, forcing her out of a job that she enjoyed more than most
    Yeah something like that happened to me when I was working at a popular chain restaurant. The people there were cattier and more gossipy than any strip club I've ever worked at. There were more "single moms" there, too. Basically all of the not-necessarily-true stereotypes about STRIP CLUBS applied quite nicely to this group of "immature children," as the restaurant manager called them once while he was privately talking to me. It got to the point that the manager actually thought it was the best idea when I quit, because he saw that I wasn't fitting in well and that it was making me unhappy and rather unconfident.

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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    thats not why i do it, im a top earner and a bitch. the girls i do this are not competition for anyone.
    Pick on someone your own size for a change, see how that works for ya.

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    i think i do it for a lot of reasons
    i feel some girls would get eaten alive in this buisness and they would be better suited elsewhere
    and also i guess i do feel like if they cant take it and toughen up then they wont be tough enouhg for what the guys dish out.
    Just remember that 'toughening them up' or weeding the (perceived)weak ones out of the herd is not your job and frankly none of your business.


    Quote Originally Posted by i.breath.in View Post
    as far as stage goes noobs on stage are just hillarious half the time.
    Yeah, I know I must have been a hilarious sight to see. I think we've all had a chuckle or two(or three, or four, or twenty-six.....) at someone's sucky stage performance, but if you sit there and openly hee-haw at them that's just being obnoxious.

    I wasn't a newbie that long ago so maybe I'm prone to be a little more sympathetic to them, I'm usually not that social with them right away just because they come and go so much, but I'm never deliberately rude to them. Why be?
    Last edited by Zinaida; 02-17-2008 at 06:17 PM.

  20. #20
    Alaska
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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    Are you sure you're basing your reactions on an individual case? Being new, being young doesn't make you a skared little sheep. I'm not overly friendly to ANYone unless I know they're cool.....but girls that are bitches tend to generalize and come to unfair assumptions anyway, so try to check yrself and make sure the girls really deserve it.


    Whenever I've been judged for being young or starting out at ANY job, I think....how egotistical is this person in their own little world, not knowing anything about me or what I've been thru. I'd assume most ppl who get shit would also just not care given that, but if these girls actually care, then no they aren't right for the job.

    I just don't buy that they are more likely to crack bc of the nature of the business. No stripping experience should be the end of the world for anyone.

    . As is true with most bullies, YOU'RE the one who measures "toughness in life" on a lil stripping job---that's weak. Sounds like YOUR own life experiences have been nothing worse than the worst night on the job.

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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    So...because YOU sense some perceived weakness in t hem, you attempt to cull out the unworthy ones? You do this because...? For all you know this could be the only job bringing in the money needed to feed and house themselves, and you are making that job that much worse. And FFS, You LAUGH at them? Christ on a fucking cracker.

    You recognize your problem, but you don't mention wanting to fix it. Anywhere. That is my biggest problem here. Do you want to fix it, or do you want to continue being MegaBitch to girls that DID NOTHING TO YOU?

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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    Quote Originally Posted by StrawberrySwitchblade View Post
    For all you know this could be the only job bringing in the money needed to feed and house themselves, and you are making that job that much worse. And FFS, You LAUGH at them?
    So so true.

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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    very timid and dont seem right for the buisness.
    Glad to see that you're the authority...

  24. #24
    Senior Member Brooklynn06's Avatar
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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette View Post
    I'm not mean or anything to the n00bs, but I'm not friendly either. At least not at first. I ignore them until I can sniff out what they're about. If they seem cool but nervous I'll offer them a lil advice. If they're overly scared I might hint that perhaps this biz isn't right for them - because it's NOT right for girls who are that scared. If they're the type who have totally the WRONG idea about how our money is made, I will let them know what's up in one way or another.
    I'm the same way. and I've had times when being nice to a noob backfired and the girl came at me in a very disrespectful way. So for me, this is one reason I am not nice but not mean. I have been over the situation for a while, but I personally am big on respect. You have to give it, if you want to get it. I have recently (in the last 2 months), made amends with this girl and we are on the same page.

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    Default Re: god forgive my transgressions on teh noobs.....

    Wow....I'm really glad nobody did this type of shit to me when I was new. This job is hard enough, guys can be dickheads enough without girls having to contribute, ffs


    By the way, since you obviously don't take the time to get to know any of these new girls, how the hell do you know that they're "not cut out" for this job?

    If you're such a top earner, why do you even give a shit? Sorry but terrorizing new girls is horribly immature and sounds like some thinly veiled insecurity to me.


    One day you'll probably piss off the wrong girl and get your ass kicked. I'm completely disgusted right now.

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