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Thread: How Honest?

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    Default How Honest?

    I never know...... I'm married and never wear my rings at work. Maybe in another city but Vegas is based on illusion and fantasy so I dont feel that proclaiming my married status helps me at all. I also have a baby girl..... now I can lie about not being married but as a new mommy I just cant bring myself to say "no I don't have any kids". Customers then assume I have a baby daddy situation which doesn't reallly bother me I guess... Anyway, the club that I work in now is more local-ish. I have a potential regular, not a BIG spender but someone I know will come in , buy me a drink or two and be good for 60-100$ on a regular basis. Problem is, I feel kinda bad, playing single. Especially when I know one of the reasons the guy is willing to come and see me regurlarly is my candidness and convo. Yeah, and my dances but I get the feeling thats just icing on the cake. Anyway, there's also the chance of being seen out w my hubby. I know the job is the job and money is money but I am also a real person. In the larger clubs I worked at I never had this problem, everybody was a tourist so it was whatever. Now I want this guaranteed money (this place is slow and I need it) but I'm all sentimental about lying about major aspects of my life. I know it kind of goes with the territory but still...........

  2. #2
    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Re: How Honest?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pure View Post
    I never know...... I'm married and never wear my rings at work. Maybe in another city but Vegas is based on illusion and fantasy so I dont feel that proclaiming my married status helps me at all.
    Pure, ALL strip clubs are based on illusion and fantasy, whether you are in Vegas or in B.F.E Nowhereville!
    I can understand how you feel, but you really need to take all this guilt you put on yourself and do away with it. I know you feel like you are "lying" but I think it's a little harsh of a word to use. You are selling yourself. You are selling an illusion and a fantasy. Don't call it lying, call it "Being in character" Just like an actor would.....When actors play parts in movies, they are assuming the role of someone other then themselves. We as strippers to a certain extent do the same thing!
    As far as your wedding ring...leave it at home. Not only is there a chance of it being lost or stolen, but remember, when you are there you are "in character" My husband is well aware that I leave my wedding ring at home and is all for it. He is mature enough to know how the game works and not to mention we have a very healthy level of trust in our marriage.
    It is a little hard to go and say you are completely single! Especially when you have to then make up a reason why you can't go out with them! I usually just say I am "dating" or in those rare cases where the situation presents itself that I know I gotta tell a guy I am single, I just tell them I am too busy with school, another job, whatever to go out. Most of the time they back off. If this potential regular you mentioned does become a real regular, the more time you spend sitting and talking the more questions he is going to ask. Feel him out. If he wants to talk more than get dances, it may not be the right situation for you right now. Try to dance more than talk! Cause when you are busy dancing, there is less time for chit chat, not to mention more money for you.
    I hope some of this helps. Of course it goes without saying that this is just my opinon, and I am sure you will get many more that vary.
    Good luck to ya

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    Senior Member kittytheflamingo's Avatar
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    Default Re: How Honest?

    the only time i've told guys im married is when they piss me off by not understanding no when they ask me out. my husband will come one in a while to see a stage set cuz he's proud o me but he never tells anyone who he is cuz he doesnt want to hurt my money

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: How Honest?

    Last year I had a regular like this -- way more into sitting and talking with me and kinda being friends than getting dances. He spent BIG money, too, and I didn't want to lose him.

    Like you, I don't like lying. Well, I don't mind "being in character" with out-of-town guys and one-timers I'll never see again, but if someone is paying thousands to sit in VIP with me and "get to know me" I feel a bit weird about it. Not to mention, if you lie to someone you see often, you have to keep that lie up every time you see them, for hours at a time. This guy would buy out my entire night sometimes, and there was no way I could be completely in character for 8 hours at a time.

    So, I just left things kinda obscure. Never mentioned whether I had a boyfriend or not. Hinted to him pretty plainly that I appreciated customers who gave me my privacy and space, and since he pretty much wanted to please me, he played along. He asked me out twice and I told him I didn't see customers outside the club because I liked keeping my dancing life totally seperate from the rest of my life. He backed off.

    Eventually I started to feel like my customer was becoming a little too obsessed, so I dropped that I had a boyfriend. I know he was surprised, but I think it kinda took some of the pressure off, too. Like, he didn't have to wonder WHY I didn't like him enough to date him, since I was already taken. He continued to be my customer for a few months after that, then decided to move on and stop strip-clubbing for a while. We're still in touch.

    So yeah, admitting I had a boyfriend probably did stop the flow of money, but I didn't have the skills or the balls to string someone along for that long, and I feel like that's OK.

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    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: How Honest?

    Just for curiosities where do you work? Play it Again Sam's?? (thats the only locals place I can think of out there....well I guess Cheetahs. But anyways!!)

    Anyway just lie who cares. You're "laying" when you pretend it's fun dancing for him anyways..
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Default Re: How Honest?

    Can you maybe work the baby-daddy angle? You aren't lying exactly-these guys often assume there is some jerk out there fathering our kids/taking our money/etc. You can't see the guy outside because your bd is possessive, or you're still in love, or you'd only date a guy who'd be a good father to your kid.

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    Veteran Member Fionaver's Avatar
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    Default Re: How Honest?

    I always considered the person that I was at work to be different than who I was outside of the club. So even if I was in a relationship, "Celeste" was single. Overall, I was fairly candid - other dancers and some club/multiple dancer customers (who were more like friends) knew, but not some guy that I met at the club.

    But after a few months, you can really start to feel bad about it. Especially if they've really fallen for you.

    You can always fess up to it (which ruins all trust) or say that you've started seeing someone new (which may move things into more of a friend situation), but you need to accept that either approach may ruin the money. At the same time though, him finding out from someone else could be equally as bad, and more painful (at least for him.)

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    Default Re: How Honest?

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseLeigh View Post
    Can you maybe work the baby-daddy angle? You aren't lying exactly-these guys often assume there is some jerk out there fathering our kids/taking our money/etc. You can't see the guy outside because your bd is possessive, or you're still in love, or you'd only date a guy who'd be a good father to your kid.
    thats a great idea..... i mean my husband IS my baby daddy so its all good.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: How Honest?

    being a stripper is like bein an actress. i make up what DiamondGirl likes to do, what DiamondGirl like to eat, DiamondGirls ethnicity. it's not lying at all, its DiamondGiril.

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    Veteran Member alessandra's Avatar
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    Default Re: How Honest?

    I agree with the other posters: at the club, you are your alter-ego not yourself... and you are selling a fantasy. So, be the fantasy girl! I've never thought of calling myself single in the club as lying, but as playing a part, like CherryBomb said. Guys generally want to hear that you're single, have a crazy sex life, and essentially do everything their boring wife/girlfriend doesn't, so have fun with it.

    Good luck!

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    Featured Member Brooke's Avatar
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    Default Re: How Honest?

    My cure for this situation was keeping the convo off me. They are much happier to tell you about themselves. When conversation dictates that I talk about myself, it was always really basic... what kinds of food I like, my football team, what I studied in college... nothing of a personal or relationship nature. And then I would steer it back to them.

    I used to be the oppostite - a complete open book. Very candid and frank, honest about my life situations, etc. When I took a step back I decided they were much more interested in a pretty girl who was interested in THEM than they were in any particular woman. The beauty of it is this approach doubled my money and I didn't have to lie - I didn't say much about me at all

    And they kept coming back without an uncomfortable level of date dodging. They didn't need to meet me somewhere else to feel that I was interested in them. My attention and interest showed them that I liked them, remembering the things they told me last time showed them that I liked them.

    And when they did ask I just told them that I was busy or that I prefer to keep it in the club... then bring it back to them. They let the invitation go because they can't resist when a beautiful woman is so into them. That's what most of them are so lonely for and you don't have to go anywhere to give it to them.

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    Featured Member saphire123456's Avatar
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    Default Re: How Honest?

    ^ totally agree, why talk about you, when you can talk about them...people are generally much more interested in themselves anyway, so if given a chance will talk and talk and pay you to be a "fascinated " listener
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

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    Veteran Member jessica_rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: How Honest?

    Quote Originally Posted by Brooke View Post
    My cure for this situation was keeping the convo off me. They are much happier to tell you about themselves. When conversation dictates that I talk about myself, it was always really basic... what kinds of food I like, my football team, what I studied in college... nothing of a personal or relationship nature. And then I would steer it back to them.

    I used to be the oppostite - a complete open book. Very candid and frank, honest about my life situations, etc. When I took a step back I decided they were much more interested in a pretty girl who was interested in THEM than they were in any particular woman. The beauty of it is this approach doubled my money and I didn't have to lie - I didn't say much about me at all

    And they kept coming back without an uncomfortable level of date dodging. They didn't need to meet me somewhere else to feel that I was interested in them. My attention and interest showed them that I liked them, remembering the things they told me last time showed them that I liked them.

    And when they did ask I just told them that I was busy or that I prefer to keep it in the club... then bring it back to them. They let the invitation go because they can't resist when a beautiful woman is so into them. That's what most of them are so lonely for and you don't have to go anywhere to give it to them.
    Quoted for truth. This is the best strategy I've found so far.

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    Default Re: How Honest?

    In a HANDFUL fo clubs I wear my ring, a small handful. Most guys in my experience want to feel we're available. My wealthy daddy regular said he wouldn't want anything to do with me or the strip clubs if I were taken. He sees me and gives me money strictly because he claims he loves me and wants to get married when he is able to dump the miserable wife.

    A LOT of these guys feel that a stripper whom they like, having a boyfriend or husband, is a dealbreaker for them. I see it time and time again.

    Guys are trained to look for rings on women, and even though we see this as a job, many customers want to feel they have a chance with us as a determinant for buying dances and spending money.

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