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Thread: I am a widow

  1. #1
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default I am a widow

    Let me explain. No one died. Well... not unless you count his deaths in his video games. World of Warcraft... better known simply as WOW is the bane of my existence. My boyfriend won't stop playing it. He's on for over ten hours a day with his headset on, talking to people he's never met in person. He won't even answer simple questions or act like he hears me unless I yell at him. He hasn't left the house in five days now. He goes to bed with me... and then gets up 20 minutes later to get back to his game.

    He begged me to play it with him. So I got an account and began to level up my character. Has he played with me once? No. We're in the same room as each other for hours a day, ignoring each other.

    On Valentine's day, we got home from dinner, and he ran back out to get a video game. Lost Odyssey. Gay. Then he ignored me for the rest of the evening to play it while I played clothes-optional Monopoly with a couple of my stripper friends.

    I feel like a widow. I've lost my boyfriend to a 19 inch screen full of explosions, health bars, and fantastic creatures named "LudwigVonPoopen" and "Merookair" and "Raven". God help me.

    Anyone else in the same boat?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  2. #2
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    No way would I let that fly.

    You need to have a seriously serious talk with him. He can't treat you like that and have you continue to stick around. I know he's depressed about the Job loss and all, but for real, he needs to pull up his big boy pants and act like a respectable man, go out and find a new job.

  3. #3
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    How long has he been doing this? I agree a talk needs to be had...but if its something he just started doing, co-inciding with his depression...I"d be lenient. Its helping him lift his spirits and he may just need that right now.

    Hubby has been pissed at me for 1) watching Veronica Mars nonstop every day and 2) smoking a lot...even at home, which I NEVER do
    But...these were the only things that brought me back to life.

    As long as you talk about it and he agrees that this is a short term thing for him to use as a crutch while he needs one...let it go. Make a deal that one day a week you turn it off completely and go out..or stay in , whatever...but that one day is all you and him. It will allow him to use his crutch while he needs it, but not shut everything out to the point of obsession

  4. #4
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    Has anyone seen the Intervention episode with the guy addicted to video games?

    My bf and I are WoW addicts (well, him much more than I), but 10 hours a day is really extreme.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  5. #5
    Senior Member muhuwahaha's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    As a former WoW addict, all I can say is that he must cancel his account.

    WoW ruined my life for about a year. I became 20 lbs overweight, flunked 3 semesters, and would only get a few hours of sleep a night.

    WoW is a lifestyle.

    P.S. : don't ask him to choose between you and WoW..hell probly choose WoW LOL

  6. #6
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    I went through that with Myst once when I was a freshman in college, and nearly failed a semester. Some of those games can be more addictive than crack, so I understand!

    I totally know where you're coming from too. I was a football widow when I was married. He spent our wedding day watching football, and every year from late August through late January I just ceased to exist. When I left, it was the week the preseason started, and I knew he wouldn't even notice I'd gone until the Super Bowl was over (exaggerating, but not by much). I tried to share it with him but I just really fucking hate football and I can't deal with somebody jumping around screaming at the television for hours on end.

    So I feel your pain. It sucks.

  7. #7
    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    My friend is a World of Warcraft widow. Her boyfriend actually broke up with her the day before it came out. The day before! He told her he needed to free up all of his time!

    I know a married couple who come home from work and spend every minute before retiring to bed playing.

    My roommate is getting into it. I'm crossing my fingers.
    Last edited by Dottie Rebel; 02-20-2008 at 03:15 PM.

  8. #8
    Veteran Member firekitten19's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    Sounds like your boyfriend has the Ever Crack Syndrome ( refering to EverQuest fiends). Tough situation babe. Does he get very angry when you mention that he way in to gaming. I never had a boyfriend, but I had many guy friends that would act the same. One of my friends found out his password and sold his character on ebay. DO NOT DO THIS! THIS WILL MAKE YOUR BF BALLISTIC! You might have to get a few family mebers and his friends to do an intervention.
    Forever Love, Forever Dream
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  9. #9
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    How long has he been doing this?
    For years. At least three. Sometimes it's worse than others.

    WOW is apparently more important than sex or food. He won't even eat when he's playing unless i put food in front of him (guilty of facilitating).

    If we take a smoke break together (rare "us" time), he rattles off how much gold he has from making his character go fishing, or how people in his guild aren't getting along, or how this boss drops this or that shield once every 100 battles or something... I love him and try to listen with an open mind to things that interest him.... but when it's our only conversation all day... I just want to either cry or scream.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  10. #10
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    Perhaps I should resort to post-it notes on his desk.

    "I have a pussy."

    or

    "I'm calling your mother."

    or

    "I'm having an affair."

    Then I'd have to hold my breath until his battle was over.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  11. #11
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    I've a room-mate who has replaced his real life with WoW. He bitches at me about his 'latency' being high and this and that ... like a little child. I really despise him for it. When I was without a computer I would ONLY be allowed to use his computer on Tuesdays nights after the server was down and/or if he had left it on when out + about..

    That game is the worst thing that has happened to him. His life is that game and he doesn't get it thru his head "it is just a game!". Unfortunately, he is speaking and playing the game with people he does know IRL. The rest tho' are just part of his guild etc.

    I got into it once. Only once. In the end, I want to live my life and not thru a game.

    paintgoddess, something needs to be done as you are just roommates not bf/gf ... sadly, just like any addiction he will choose it over you it seems until he realises he is actually addicted...


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  12. #12
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    OK..I take back everything I said. YEARS is not a crutch..its an addiction. You now have to decide whether you can live like this or not...

  13. #13
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    ..... this is harsh, but I would personally give him a big fat reality check.

    My bf has played wow, and gotten into it, but he would NEVER ignore me on V-Day to play that damn game. HE is in control of how much he plays, and HE is in control of how attentive he is to you. If he refuses to put in the effort, break up with him or at least separate or something until he figures out his prorities.

  14. #14
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    On a lighter note, this thread would not be complete without mentioning .

  15. #15
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    On a lighter note, this thread would not be complete without mentioning Leroy Jenkins.
    Thank you, Yek! Yeah... if you guys don't know what WOW is.... watch that. TOO INVOLVED!!

    I watched it, and the BF immediately came over and was bragging... "Oh, I've tanked there all by myself" and thus completely missing the point. Brilliant.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  16. #16
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    On a lighter note, this thread would not be complete without mentioning .
    Leeerooooooooyyyyy JENKINS!!

  17. #17
    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    On a lighter note, this thread would not be complete without mentioning Leroy Jenkins.
    Bahahahahaa! I love you Yek!

    My guy and my kids all play WOW to varying degrees. Mike and I are both former Eq'ers.

    It's just like drinking I guess. Gotta know your limits and stick to them!



  18. #18
    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    i had a friend who had an addiction to wow it dose become a lifestyle it is a very scary thing it almost tore apart his marriage he quit his job to play. Childreb are even neglececte becuse of these games. I cant understand it i don't play any video games and i don't like fantasy world stuff but i belive this is a real problem and not something to take lightly. i would do some reashearch on the net and see what you can find about others suffering from this.

  19. #19
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  20. #20
    Featured Member AmazingKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    I'm a former WoW widow and now a Diablo widow (again). I'm not sure how I survived the WoW era. I really should have dumped his ass but I was pretty busy myself and didn't mind the once a week getting together. It was hardly a real relationship though.

    I think WoW is more difficult to pry guys off of because they try to get like 40 people together at once online to do certain quests and if he quits in the middle he feels like hes letting them all down. Diablos a bit easier to pry him off because its single player and he can just quit in the middle.

    Either way it sucks. I played too for a while but got sick of it after a couple months. I usually just have to let him run his course with a game and wait for him to get sick of it. I find he plays in short spurts now for a few days and then quits again. I think waiting for him to get sick of it is the only way to deal with it, or dump him. I couldn't even pry him off WoW with all sorts of crazy lingerie and promises.

  21. #21
    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    this is full blown addiction. there are studies out there about video game (and computer/internet) addictions and how it literally changes the chemicals in your brain similar to what drugs do. here's a few links i found, hopefully they'll help....

    http://www.netaddiction.com/resources/online_gaming.htm
    http://www.gamerwidow.com/
    http://www.wikihow.com/Break-a-World...raft-Addiction
    http://www.wowdetox.com/
    http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20060809-7459.html





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  22. #22
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    there's a gamer widow website? I love SW. Thanks guys.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Strippers are like ninjas. You never know how many there are or if the person next to you is one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    ...I assume you probably don't want to deal with pervs, and the guys that just don't give a fuck about money are like unicorns...
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinder View Post
    I know I have said it before, and I'll say it again.... THE VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR!


  23. #23
    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    My best friend is going through the same thing.

    The other day she (mind you she's a very shy, reserved girl) took off all of her clothes and went and sat on his lap facing him. He didn't even GLANCE at her lady parts. Just moved his head to the side so he could see the screen.

    She was like WTF?! Do I have to stick an apple up my ass to get some attention around here?! (Okay I added the last part. But she WAS pissed.)

    This game needs to die!

    (I know, I know...I like WoW itself - but I play maybe 45 minutes a week!)

  24. #24
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    K was going to get me into WoW for my Chanukah present this year. I begged him not to. I already waste too much time on the computer as it is, and my previous experience with Myst taught me that I wouldn't be able to just be a casual player. I think WoW looks like a lot of fun, but so does meth at first, and I don't need that kind of addiction in my life. I actually have to make a concerted effort not to play any free trials or anything.

    Most of y'all are probably too young to remember Myst, but that was several months of my life just gone. I was exactly like the boyfriends in this thread. I actually passed out once because I went two days without eating anything or sleeping, and I missed a final exam. This kind of addiction does exist!

  25. #25
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am a widow

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSexKitten View Post
    Leeerooooooooyyyyy JENKINS!!
    HAHAHA...

    To the OP, is your BF raiding yet? If so, make sure he has checked out this classic....

    http://www.plunder.com/World-of-Warc...wnload-994.htm

    (click on "Play it")

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