I guess Ill start off with the basics. I raised my daughter alone, no child support, nothing for 5 years. Made up (somewhat) with babys daddy and she went and lived with him for 18 months while I attended school. He had almost $20K in back child support that I cancelled. Hes never paid a dime. Nothing.
During the time she was in Hawaii - Ive paid for all flights. Paid for her to get there and here. Paid for her to go visit my parents on another island (so he could have a break). Paid for this and paid for that. He wouldnt even pay half. He never had the money. Ive spend probably $3500 on flights for her.
Christmas comes - he said he wanted her to go to Hawaii (shes been with me since June) and Im like sure. And WTF happens but he thinks IM buying the freakin ticket. Im sorry, I dont have an extra $500 laying around so you can see your daughter. I was really broke because of the surgery, in and our of hospital and was sick at that time. And I guess it wasnt that important since he never bothered offering to pay and was just like "OK, guess I wont see her". I told his mom she wasnt going to visit after all and she looked upset and I was like Ive bought every single ticket ever and I dont have the money. She was shocked that he had never paid for her flights, any of them. Frustrating for me because my daughter loves her daddy and I want her to see him and before it was like ok, you have her, shes visiting ME for holidays, etc so ILL pay. Well shit, return the favor.
Fast forward to now. He moved to Phoenix a few weeks ago and he wants her to visit for Spring break in a few weeks. Im looking up $300 r/t + unaccompanied minor fees of who knows what ($50-100 each way) and Im like FUCK THIS. You have never paid for any flights nor have you ever paid a dime to me to take care of your daughter. The sad part is my daughter wants to see daddy and her sister so bad and I dont want her to be sad and its only money but when does principle take over.
Now I feel like a bad mom because a few hundred dollars is getting in the way of her happiness and she doesnt understand all the logistics around it. I am the one that ends up getting partial blame for her not seeing her father even tho its really not my fault. But children do not reason like us so she doesnt understand and I dont want to put blame on her dad. Its more like we just couldnt make it work but then shes sad again.
I guess my question is
Should I just suck it up - buy the ticket (because i can, i have the money) and send her on her way because this is an important thing to my daughter (seeing her father and sister whos 2)
OR
Should I try to prove a point and not pay for the ticket and not pay for ANY more tickets and let her dad deal with it (even tho Im now the bad guy)
Edit: Obviously the best thing would be for each to pay for 1/2 but I know 100% that if this is agreed I will never see his half. Its happened before....


Reply With Quote

same here.

Bookmarks