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Thread: Public apology

  1. #1
    Pamela
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    Default Public apology

    I need to say to all on this forum that i am very sorry for insulting others and well... just going off.
    I have gone off before in the past, but then learned from a fellow SW member leave the computer, come back after you cool down.

    My inbox is 100% full, thank you all.

    I have many friends here from over the years. Many of you may not want to hear this, but i am very very sorry. They say talk is cheap. Words can be cheap too. But they still hurt. I was feeling very smothered for a few months with negative messages towards me. And i just felt i had enough today.

    All my personal living aside. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. I did not want or mean to hurt anyone if i did.

    Britt was a good friend as well as many others.

    I hope this thread will stay up or i may get shut down soon. Not too sure about that at this point.

    I read many messages and was well, sad SW has come to this. I agree with those who may think we need to be SW friends and support each other.

    I love people, but am human with emotion. As you all are.

    I wish everyone here the best and hope they forgive me. I am far from perfect.

    I want this forum to get positive again! I know it can!

    I am very sorry to all who i have insulted or perhaps hurt.

    I myself felt attacked and hurt for months. It sucks to dish it out from my side.

    Thank you all who supported me. And those who do not, i wish us all well anyway.

  2. #2
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Public apology

    Thank you Pamela. Truly and from the bottom of my heart...I know it had to hurt to write that..or, more specifically..to get to the point where you felt you HAD to write that.

    I love you. And I hope you get what you want AND stay healthy and happy and safe.

    I'm sorry if anything I said hurt you...but PLEASE know it was said with all my love and the very best of my intentions.

    I know this isnt a good bye thread...but I just want to say...Dont leave. This site wouldnt be the same without you.

  3. #3
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Public apology

    Thank you Cam. I hope i can say this freely. I was relly feeling attacked or i guess hounded (hell i don't know the right word) for months. Seemed i made wrong moves in moderating and then some. I felt little to no support i guess. I should be able to run alone, but at times we all could use a hand.

    I tried running alone pretty much. All the name calling got to me, honestly. I need not go into detail. But i felt i needed to lash back and say "i'm not taking the names anymore" i think that is a normal response at times. Like i said i have gone off on SW before, many years ago...many of us have. But it's different now.

    If i don't reply i did infact have my account taken down.

    I really love the kind words and support from the few i know on here. You included.

    I guess my mod. status was under attack? Sounds odd, i know so i will let it go.

    I was a good mod. Or so i thought. I really helped those who asked as best i could. But failed due to feeling like an outcast much of the time for months.

    I said this as best i could. SW has been a part of my life for many many years. I have been a mod. since we had mods. I have messed up. I was pushed over the edge, (i feel strongly) and should have kicked back.... but it became too hard after all the months.
    Last edited by Pamela; 02-21-2008 at 04:02 PM. Reason: Sorry can't get to inbox????

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Public apology

    I don't really know you well Pamela, but for what its worth I appreciate the apology...

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Public apology

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    OK fine. SO I was willing to forgive someone and give them a second chance, who has never done anything personally to me. And I'm being slammed for that...why exactly? Sorry if there was drama with her before that I didnt see..or chose not to see. I dont read EVERY thread despite my SW addiction...and obviously I know nothing that went on between mods or in PM's.

    Have at it...I'm out.
    this is why i love you so much. surrously

    pamela, i appreciate this thread. i appreciate the apology directly to me. you know i want the best for you and i've tried to make that clear all along.. your pm was really cruel. taking out your anger towards other people on me isn't a fair thing to do.

    who knows what will happen.. whether you will go or stay.. either way, thank you for the apology. to me and everyone in general. you're a better person than i think i would be in your shoes.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Public apology

    Pam, you have never done anything to me. I also haven't been here that long. I did see the comments from you and I was really shocked to see that. You are apologizing, I think you had too much going on and just lost it. I don't have anything against you and I wish you the best of luck whether you stay or go.

  7. #7
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public apology

    Okay. Pamela apologized - she does not need extra apologists. She posted all the other "bad" things as well; we don't need a rehash. I think everyone has had the chance to express themselves on this matter. It is now time for healing to begin - let us move forward. Seriously. This started out with one member throwing a hissy fit over one stupid point; we now have this. We really don't need anyone else falling out, okay? Let's all move forward.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  8. #8
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Public apology

    Please don't argue with eachy other. It's about my issue that happened.'

    But please please i want to clear the board that i as well as many many others over the years get pissed, or go off as we say. Why am i still being attacked for "going off " for years. I would like to say that i have not gone off alot. I have been here many years, and given that time on the public forums and behind them i have gotten a small sum of "going off" i bet there are more who get heated alot more. Please telling other newer members i "go off' alot over the years is wrong.

    We all get heated. We all are human, we all don't agree with each other all the time.

    I have had pm's stating i am a bad mod. and a great mod. I have not had many issues with Nina. Not many...like 10, No. We have both went at it, as have others behind the scenes.

    I feel honestly i am being backed into a corner and looking bad. Please go read my many messages. I encourage, i try my best to help, and i mess up warning when i should have pointed people and well... the other way around. I have called on my fellow mods for help recently. Those that halped me make decisions i thank!!!!!! I had to run alone alot. It's tough. But i did it. Thought i did it well. I never yelled at a pesron who messed up in the forums i moderated. I pm'd them with reasons and help.

    I am not a mean nasty monster that some may see me as. I don't have a long record of going off. There are members who have been here as long as me who are right there with me. It's okay. We move on, get over it.

    Nina. I don't hate you or wish you anything bad, ever. I asked to make it better between us here. Hun you know this.

    I made this apology because it's right. It's the thing to do. make up. Move on. Words that get thrown around by many of us mods or not. Is that right if they hurt? no. I was truly hurt for months. And wanted it to stop. No one would listen on the forum. I have tried behind the forum asking what am i doing wrong months ago. No answer. I have failed SW and probably myself.

  9. #9
    God/dess Pryce's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public apology

    I invited Pam to post this message before taking a hiatus. She has been a long time member who has contributed much. She has many friends here and I think it is fair she have a chance to say goodbye. I insist that all replies be kept respectful. Cattiness in this thread will not be tolerated.
    We all imagine ourselves the agents of our destiny, capable of determining our own fate. But have we truly any choice in when we rise, or when we fall, or does a force larger than ourselves bid us our direction. Is it evolution that takes us by the hand, does Science point our way, or is it God who intervenes keeping us safe.

    So much struggle for meaning, for purpose. And in the end, we find it only in each other. Our shared experience of the fantastic. And the mundane. The simple human need to find a kindred, to connect. And to know in our hearts... that we are not alone.
    Heroes

  10. #10
    God/dess Pryce's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public apology

    Venus and Nina banned for 2 weeks. I am allowing Pam a goodbye message and expect it to be respected. This thread is not to discuss anything else.

    Add Kaylinn for 2 weeks as well, she had trouble understanding "I am allowing Pam a goodbye message and expect it to be respected" or "This thread is not to discuss anything else." I don't care which is the case.
    Last edited by Pryce; 02-21-2008 at 07:15 PM.
    We all imagine ourselves the agents of our destiny, capable of determining our own fate. But have we truly any choice in when we rise, or when we fall, or does a force larger than ourselves bid us our direction. Is it evolution that takes us by the hand, does Science point our way, or is it God who intervenes keeping us safe.

    So much struggle for meaning, for purpose. And in the end, we find it only in each other. Our shared experience of the fantastic. And the mundane. The simple human need to find a kindred, to connect. And to know in our hearts... that we are not alone.
    Heroes

  11. #11
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Public apology

    Thank you Pryce and everyone.

    Good-bye. Stay safe, be well. And kisses to those who cared enough.

  12. #12
    MsQwerty
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    Default Re: Public apology

    I have no idea what your appologizing for, nor do I care. I wish you all the best Pamela and if youre leaving Im sorry to see you go!
    Take care & all the best (-:

  13. #13
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public apology

    Well Pamela, I have always enjoyed and respected your posts.

    Best of luck to you hon.

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Public apology

    I really wish you were still a mod.
    Pam, you are great and i have always liked you around! <hugs>

  15. #15
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    Default Re: Public apology

    “Grace was in all her steps, Heav'n in her Eye, In every gesture dignity and love” - John Milton

  16. #16
    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public apology

    The very best of wishes to you and yours, Pamela.


  17. #17
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public apology

    Bye, Pam. Hope you get it all figured out.

  18. #18
    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public apology

    Take very good care fo yourself, Pamela. You have been and will be in my prayers.

  19. #19
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    Default Re: Public apology

    Take care of yourself, Pamela. Bonne chance.

  20. #20
    Veteran Member LadyLuck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public apology

    Pamela,

    I just wanted to wish you much luck and happiness in your future.

  21. #21
    Featured Member flickad's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public apology

    I'm sorry so many are affected by this storm, including you, Pamela. Thank you for having the humility to apologise. I wish you well and hope you take good care of yourself and your own.

  22. #22
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public apology

    The best of everything to you Pamela, your sound advice over the years on a great many topics has been a remarkable contribution.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

  23. #23
    Veteran Member Kitsune83's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public apology

    I'm not even going to pretend I know what's going on......but I want to say this one thing: Pamela, you've always been as sweet as can be to me. Goodbye for now, I hope not for too long! I know you don't really know me from Adam, but if you ever need someone to talk to that doesn't know you (hey, sometimes it's kinda liberating, right?), feel free to send a message my way.

  24. #24
    God/dess BalletBaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: Public apology

    I'm saying a prayer for you. Take care of yourself and your family.

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
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    BalletBaby + Alice in Chains >>> Pie.

  25. #25
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    Default Re: Public apology

    Oh Pam! I'm going to miss you!!
    Please take care of yourself, and I hope this is just a hiatus, and not forever.
    Love to you...
    Grinding is for coffee and meat.
    "I want to entertain people who wish to be entertained, not be an expensive but poor substitute for someone who can't find themselves a prostitute."-Asurfel
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