My older brother has been estranged from my family for about 7-8 years now and I was hoping anyone who has experience with this could share some advice for me. Let's see I'm not sure where to even start so forgive me if I ramble.
We were always really close when I was younger. Our Father died when we were all young and it was my Mom and us. My Mom went crazy for a year or two but that was normal I think given her situation. She never re-married or had men in the house. When I got older I went boy crazy and loved to party so I feel like that put a wedge between my brother and me. He wasn't the "experimental" type like I was. He went off to college and got a great job with the government and got married and years later got divorced. The only reason I gave all of that information was because there wasn't any skeleton's in our closet that could have pushed us apart. Just normal family shit. The worse thing is I think my sister and brother resented all the attention I was given from my Mother when I was a teenager but if she didn't do that I think I would have been dead by now.
SO after his divorce it started happening. No calls no visits. He doesn't call my Mom for Mother's Day Christmas or her birthday. He doesn't speak to my sister or me either. No explanations. The only way I have of seeing where he is or what he is up to is his MySpace page. He won't add me as his friend but he hasn't blocked me from viewing his page or blogs either.
One part of me is really angry because he was my best friend and he is my family and I've changed. I'm not the reckless person I was before. Plus my Mother is getting older and her last wish is that her children have each other after she passes on. She feels so sad because she feels like she must have been a bad Mother for her son to completely cut himself off. That really hurts me to watch my Mother in that pain because she did everything for her family. She sacrificed more than necessary. I have so many questions. Why would he do this? HOW can he do this to her? The other part of me is sad. I miss him so much. I feel like he's the closest thing to my Father and I want to be able to talk to him and ask him for advice. I want my children to have an Uncle.
SO from reading his MySpace page I have learned that he is also a DJ part time and he has a date at the end of March about 5 hours from me. So I was thinking maybe I would show up. I'm not going to flip out and ask WHY but I just want to hug him and tell him I love him. My Mother gave me a home video when we were kids and I was thinking of making a copy and giving it to him to hopefully remind him that things weren't always so bad and we were a tight unit once.
So I'm not sure if I'm invading his privacy or not by showing up. I have prepared myself for the worst. He could tell me to get out. He could even pretend to not know who the hell I am. Plus now my boyfriend wants to go and meet him. I'm sort of the fence about that. I sort of feel like I want to go alone but yet again maybe I need the support.
So I guess I'm looking for advice or something or maybe thoughts from anyone who has a family member who is MIA or maybe someone who doesn't speak to their family. I feel like my heart is broken and even if he lets us back in maybe things will never be the same?
Thanks for listening!



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