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Thread: a slight vent

  1. #1
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Thumbs down a slight vent

    first off, i'm sorry. i know this type of post does little more than offer some sort of outlet for the OP, but i kind of need that right now. what i'm about to relate to you is not a new story. i know it's happened to almost all of us, and most of us repeatedly. for some reason though (maybe burnout) this time it's lingering around in my head. i actually had a dream about it last night.

    i'll get on with the story:

    a few days ago i was at work. it was a slow day and i'm not doing so well financially. that means, i wound up talking to and putting up with more customers that i would usually ignore under less stressful circumstances. one of these such customers was an guy, about 50 years old, typical pervy looking guy. i could tell he was trouble the second i sat down next to him and noticed he ALREADY had an erection, even though no dancer had been with him prior.

    i do the whole "hi i'm blah blah.. how are you.. where are you from blah blah" preamble. i get to asking about dances pretty quickly because frankly, i knew he'd get one and i didn't feel like talking to him any longer than i needed to. he agrees to get a dance. he reaches into his pocket and pulls out maybe 30 bucks total, 20 of which he hands over to me for the dance. i got nervous at that point as well, because he was paying up front... as if he'd been asked many times before to do so (which means he's probably handsy).

    i tell him right away that he can't touch my breasts or my crotch (in not so many words). of course as SOON as i start dancing his hands start wandering. i grab his hands and hold onto them a bit to make my point. he stops for a bit (this continues on and off throughout the dance).

    then it happens. i turn around and "lean back" on him (i'm sure you all know the move). my head is on his shoulder, both of us facing foward... and of course.. OF COURSE.. he starts kissing my neck. i IMMEDIATELY stand up and dance a little further away. i thought my point was made, but apparently not, because as soon as i got close again he fucking LICKS my neck. like.. with full on slobber fucking from my shoulder to my ear. i can smell the bad breath slobber that's been painting on me with his nasty tongue.

    i stand again and i literally fucking CRINGE. like.. a very very noticeable gag-and-cringe reaction. i wasn't even trying to.. it was just so fucking nasty. it's at this point that he says "do you ever do private dates" and i say "no" and he says "too bad, because i could rock your fucking world" while he wags his tongue at me.

    then the song ends and i have to run to go on stage. while i'm on stage i can see him rubbing the outside of his pants while he watches me.

    i've mentioned on here before that doing full contact is the only thing i ever regret about my adult life. it's true. that's why i work in a low contact club now. it's not that i judge other girls for doing it. if you're ok with it, more power to you. it just upsets me that i let myself do something (no extras or touching crotch.. but touching boobs and grinding) that i wasn't comfortable with for the money.

    and this brought that feeling back up. like, i HAD the money. why the FUCK didn't i walk after the kissing. fucking WHY?. i am so pissed off at myself. i keep reliving that lick over and over again. i mean, it's happened before, but for some reason this time it's really "getting to me".

    i haven't been back to work since, but actually for an unrelated reason. i somehow REALLY fucked up knee (like i can't even touch it without severe pain). i have no insurance or anything so i'm resting it and hoping to christ it gets better. sucks though, cause i'm missing work and i'm not making any money or getting any richer.

    that being said, i have this feeling that when i DO go back (probably tomorrow.. knee better or not) i'm going to be effected by that dance. i just feel skeeved out in a way that i haven't in a long time.. and i don't feel like doing ANY dances. i don't want anyone touching me anywhere at all right now unless it's because -i- sought it out.

    *sigh* why isn't this like all the other times i just go "what a douchebag" and shrug it off?



    anyway. i'm sure i'll get over it. hopefully my knee with magically improve and i'll snap out of this mental funk and be able to make some money. *crosses fingers and toes*

    thanks for listen-reading.

  2. #2
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    A good customer will take the sour taste out. We've all been there. I've slapped the holy hell out of guys for that sort of thing; last night I had one of those guys too and it was like you, I would've just split except it was slow and I needed the money. I'm angry with myself for not slapping him hard across the face. But today I'll go back in and hopefully find a good customer to remind me that this job is usually fun, and you'll do the same too.

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    Featured Member la429's Avatar
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    Maybe you just need to take a mini-vacation from work well you recover from your knee injury and when you do go back to work it might be easier to shake it off!

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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    I think that's why working on nights when I really, really need the money are so bothersome. (And I get so much anxiety about going in) Under normal circumstances we just skip that creep. When its slow and we need every $20 we can get, we sometimes sacrifice ourselves and put up with more than we are comfortable with. Then we feel like shit later. It's a sucky, unfortunate part of the job and we've all been there. ((hugs))

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    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    Quote Originally Posted by Zabrina View Post
    I think that's why working on nights when I really, really need the money are so bothersome. (And I get so much anxiety about going in) Under normal circumstances we just skip that creep. When its slow and we need every $20 we can get, we sometimes sacrifice ourselves and put up with more than we are comfortable with. Then we feel like shit later. It's a sucky, unfortunate part of the job and we've all been there. ((hugs))


    I totally agree with Zabrina here. She matched my thoughts exactly. It's completely normal to feel the way you do.....but it still sucks, I know.
    There are alot of things I don't like.......For example, touching my butt, touching my outer thighs, or my face, grabbing my waist when I am sitting on their lap...but then there are things I hate. That is anything to do with a custy's saliva on my body...anywhere. I am like you, I always tell them up front please don't touch my crotch or my nipples with your mouth, don't try to pinch my nipples...and of course, it still sometimes happens.

    I gave a dance to a guy one time that I also knew was trouble from the start, and he ended up licking my tattoo (on my upper chest) that I had just got done a few days before! The same kind of lick you described above....a full on, wide tounge "painting" of saliva right on my 3 day old tattoo. I flipped out for days thinking OMG could I have contracted a disease or somethinng since it was a semi-open wound. I was also mad at myself for potentially putting myself in harm's way all for a 10$ dance. Total panic.....my thoughts went everywhere....what if I did get a disease, and it was all because of being a stripper, and if I didn't fuck up my life and stayed in school I would have never been in this situation....and it just snowballed from there.
    I consulted a doctor and also my tattoo artist and they both reassured me that there was no way I could have caught a disease from the situation.
    The worst part was having to explain it all to my husband.

    Good luck, and I know you will be feeling better soon!
    "This too, shall pass..."

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    God/dess shasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    I was going to say the same as Yek. A good customer who really appreciates you will help.

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    Featured Member Victoryx0x0's Avatar
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    I hope you feel better, take time to relax, treat yourself to a massage... we HAVE all been there and we are here for you

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    thanx guys. i just wish taking time off wasnt so...... costly. it's been so slow and/or there've been so few decent customers lately (not looking for extras) and soooo many girls.

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    Veteran Member Alia_of_the_Knife's Avatar
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    I understand exactly what you are going through and it is one of the reasons why I left the business all together. I know what it's like to deal with rough times and then compromising yourself due to it being slow. There are so many guys that I look back on and think I should have immediatly walked away and/or smacked the fucker across the face. I am still not completely over all the times that someone has tried to lick or touch and I don't think my psyche will ever fully recover. One thing that should be a holy mantra in this business is: Thou shalt not compromise thyself no matter how slow the night is. For now, take care of yourself hon.

    And OT but I love your signature cartoons, especially the last one.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    i HAD the money. why the FUCK didn't i walk after the kissing. fucking WHY?. i am so pissed off at myself.
    I understand this feeling. Sometimes I think about a situation later and wonder WHY I put up with what I did. I mean, I do enforce my boundaries when it comes to touching, but I do it "nicely" most of the time, and later I kick myself for being nice to someone who clearly didn't deserve it. I would NEVER "be nice" to somebody who touched me in an unwanted way anywhere else, why do I accept it at work?

    I think it's because when you've been dancing for a while, you can remain in your stripper persona the whole time you're at the club, no matter what. I might not like customers luridly describing how they're going to go down on me, but "Grace" loves it, as long as she's getting paid. I would freak out the second someone touched me without invitation, but Grace is used to it. You're really operating with a whole different part of your brain when you're at work, and when you get home and leave your stripper persona behind, you may be surprised at what you tolerated.

    Don't feel bad. You didn't do anything wrong. But if you're feeling nervous about working, make a commitment to yourself to be extra respectful of your own boundaries the next time you go in. When money is slow, we all tend to tolerate more bullshit, but promise yourself that next time you work you'll seek out the good customers and let the pervs alone. Or, if someone does something you don't like, promise yourself you'll be firm about enforcing your rules. I doubt this will effect your money that much....most pervs are cheapos anyway...but even if it does, sacrificing a little money onthe front-end is cheaper than burning yourself out.

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    Veteran Member dollyrocker's Avatar
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    I feel for ya girl, I've been there too. The other day a customer decided to suck on a huge chunk of my hair. Now THAT was weird! And worse than if he'd licked part of my bady, because his nasty bad breath was stuck to the hair - and it kept sticking to my face, so I kept smelling it. Ugh, whats with the lickers all being stinkers???

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    it sucks even when you are on gaurd full time sometimes they sneak that shit in. i had a guy once when i bent over in front of him pull me back and licked my ass crack!

    i cracked him in the face and walked out. i was pretty much ruined for the night.

    *big hugs for the pretty lady*

  13. #13
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    I'm really sorry you're going through a bad time.

    I'm totally cementing the "total Bitch" persona at work now, and this thread really helped to confirm that. I'm done being nice. Bah.

    They don't deserve us.

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    Default Re: a slight vent

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    that being said, i have this feeling that when i DO go back (probably tomorrow.. knee better or not) i'm going to be effected by that dance. i just feel skeeved out in a way that i haven't in a long time.. and i don't feel like doing ANY dances. i don't want anyone touching me anywhere at all right now unless it's because -i- sought it out.
    You're completely justified in those feelings.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    *sigh* why isn't this like all the other times i just go "what a douchebag" and shrug it off?
    Because you're a normal human being. Shit gets to you, especially after a while. If it didn't get to you, at least now and then, I'd be worried.

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    Default Re: a slight vent

    Reading that reminds me of what I do to lickers. I take the spit off with my hand then rub it right into the middle of their face. I don't do it in a pissed off way, so most of the time they don't even realize what I'm doing.
    I did have a customer lick me on stage the other night as I was doing the "motorboat" thing. Usually, I aim for their foreheads only but I must not have been paying attention. I actually stopped, looked at my chest, then told him that it was fucking disgusting. I made a huge show of it on stage telling the other guys they wouldn't be getting the "motorboat" because this asshole just licked me. He actually stopped me after and apologized.
    I'm not sure about your hair length, but thankfully I'm able to use my long hair as a shield when I lean back during a lap dance.
    For what it's worth, I am very sorry you had to deal with this useless perv.

  16. #16
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    well, i have to go to work today. i took 3 days off (because of my knee) and now i'm broke. thing is, my knee is still in the same condition. i can barely walk let alone dance, so i'm not sure how this is going to work. that coupled with the fact that i still have no desire to dance for customers anyway.

    *sigh* guess i'll go in, hobble around and hope someone hands me money for looking cute? ............... and probably go home broke.

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    well, i have to go to work today. i took 3 days off (because of my knee) and now i'm broke. thing is, my knee is still in the same condition. i can barely walk let alone dance, so i'm not sure how this is going to work. that coupled with the fact that i still have no desire to dance for customers anyway.

    *sigh* guess i'll go in, hobble around and hope someone hands me money for looking cute? ............... and probably go home broke.
    use tonite for trying to get some new regulars, do a lot of sitting and talking hopefully youll find one who will give you some cash for hanging out with them.

    theres also the sob story, that works with some of them.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    theres also the sob story, that works with some of them.
    that's part of the problem. i know i'm going to be asked why i'm limping or why i'm not going on stage etc. etc... and i don't want customers to think i'm laying on a story or that i just came in looking for handouts (which is partially true, but what else can i do?).

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    i think it will be obvious that you are hurt. can you maybe do a outfit based around something that would be more comfortable? maybe fuzzy tall boots with a creative winter outfit? i think that would be more comfortable then heels.

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    Default Re: a slight vent

    Guys kissing my neck during a dance makes me shudder. I feel like my neck is a sensitive, sacred place, and I don't want gross douchebags kissing or nuzzling it. I had some guy last weekend say to me, "It's just a kiss." Uggh. So grossed out. Don't they realize that I don't go around kissing random people. It's so NOT just a kiss!

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    Veteran Member Daisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    I know exactly where you're coming from. The worst is when they decide that it's a perfectly acceptable thing to shove their tongue in your ear. UGHHH! I don't even want my hubby to do that!!!

    I hope you feel better. Just remember this happens to the best of us. It's normal to feel down after something like this, but please don't let it keep you there.
    Last edited by Daisa; 02-29-2008 at 01:35 PM. Reason: spelling
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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Ugh. I hate saliva.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  23. #23
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    Quote Originally Posted by PrettyPenny
    and this brought that feeling back up. like, i HAD the money. why the FUCK didn't i walk after the kissing. fucking WHY?. i am so pissed off at myself. i keep reliving that lick over and over again. i mean, it's happened before, but for some reason this time it's really "getting to me".
    Ugh. Unfortunately I can relate to this more than I care to admit. I've been there before...where I keep dancing for the guy even after he tries to pull a fast one on me, even after I already have payment for the dance. I've been pissed at myself for being too damn nice/accomodating too.

    I think you're getting burned out and this guy topped the cake for you. Perhaps it is best that you are taking some time off to regroup and recover. I've found that once I convince myself that it's okay to cut a dance short and I actually do this, I don't hold onto the anger/annoyance for very long because I've stood up for myself.

  24. #24
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    well i went in today. i think we had a grand total of 10 customers. i didn't go on stage and i could barely walk around (because of my knee). i made a whopping 50 bucks. for some reason about 8 of those 10 customers were under 25. wth. *sigh* more rest for the knee this weekend and hopefully a better next week.

  25. #25
    Member EarthPeople's Avatar
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    Default Re: a slight vent

    saliva makes me want to vomit. even seeing it on the street, let alone some loser slobbering all over me.
    i feel your pain... it's weird how a kiss on the neck can be so creepy. i will usually just forget about work when i get home but it's the creepy little things like that i can't stop thinking of. ew.
    Mark Twain -
    "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great"

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