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Thread: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

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    Default Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    This comes up because in my other thread, and the ones I started last month that no one liked, I've been asked a lot, "how do you know when someone is telling you the truth?"

    Seinfeld fans....you remember the one where George got admitted to the secret model's club because he had a picture of his fake "hot wife"? And when he didn't have the pic any more, the club vanished? I guess I feel like it's kind of like that.

    I went to one club a lot and became "known." I had a fave, and would very rarely spend much money beyond her. Yet, the other dancers, whether I was spending any extra money or not, would generally talk, how are things going, what's up with you, here's what's up with me, etc. Just normal, friendly, casual conversations. Real names, real stories. For the most part, no SS or money.

    Is this normal for club regulars? Even when I went to a different club, I met someone who used to work with my fave, and after that the entire conversation changed -- real name came out, real stories (believe me, completely unflattering, non-come-on, so I have to think not a hustle or SS).

    Maybe I was just trading off someone's good name? I dunno.

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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    The other dancers were bored, drunk, or a combination of the two. They had no one else to bullshit with, so they chat with you. No big deal, some people are social and friendly and like to chitchat.

    There is no trust there, they just know you won't spend money so there is no point in making up some fantasy to turn you on.

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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    Yeah, that makes some sense. By "trust", I didn't mean I was some big buddy they would share their deepest secrets with. I just mean that I think because I was known, most girls didn't hide their "real" selves from me, like they would if I was a potential stalker or something.

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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    You essentially had somebody to vouch for you. If you had been a psycho, your fave would have known and talked about it. And since you weren't going to spend money on anyone but her, it was pointless for other girls to hustle you.

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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    I've worked at my club for over five years. There are a lot of regulars that come in almost every day, we're kinda like Cheers with half naked chics. The regulars are awesome! They don't get dances but they always tip you a couple of bucks on stage and get you drinks if you want. These are some of the greatest guys, they know a lot about some of the girls (only what the girls tell them).

    It' kinda nice to have someone to talk to and not BS with.

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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    Quote Originally Posted by Everyman View Post
    This comes up because in my other thread, and the ones I started last month that no one liked, I've been asked a lot, "how do you know when someone is telling you the truth?"

    Seinfeld fans....you remember the one where George got admitted to the secret model's club because he had a picture of his fake "hot wife"? And when he didn't have the pic any more, the club vanished? I guess I feel like it's kind of like that.

    I went to one club a lot and became "known." I had a fave, and would very rarely spend much money beyond her. Yet, the other dancers, whether I was spending any extra money or not, would generally talk, how are things going, what's up with you, here's what's up with me, etc. Just normal, friendly, casual conversations. Real names, real stories. For the most part, no SS or money.

    Is this normal for club regulars? Even when I went to a different club, I met someone who used to work with my fave, and after that the entire conversation changed -- real name came out, real stories (believe me, completely unflattering, non-come-on, so I have to think not a hustle or SS).

    Maybe I was just trading off someone's good name? I dunno.
    Yeah, this used to happen to me when I was younger. I think age as well as how well the other girls view your fave have a lot to do with it. I have found that now, I am viewed pretty much just as a mark.

    Its just what I see.
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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    It depends. There's regulars that I hate because they feel they're entitled to watch for free, refuse to even talk to any dancers but one, just sit at the bar and attempt to waste your time, generally prance around like they're something special, etc. I don't trust them and I'd really like to kick them in the face.

    Then there's times when I'm on stage and if it weren't someone I knew I'd be wary about getting naked or getting close because I am not sure if they're touchy or grabby. If it's a good club regular I'll go ahead because I trust that they'll be polite and pay well.
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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    Being a club regular just gives you that known or heard about cred that could be good or bad depending.

    My regular customers I like becuz I only keep regular who treat me good and are ez money for me, but other girls don't even try becuase they come in directly for me unless they are my club regular customer/friend that is there for all the girls and generally all the girls get dances, drinks from taht are friendly and nice to me that I dig dealing with when I'm not so busy or they came in with lots of money (how could the girls not like those)

    Then there are the club regulars that are there for more or are to cheap, annoying, piggish, clingy for me that I regularly ingore either becuz of my experience or becuz I have seen /heard enough not to want to deal with that customer. Lot of customers who deal with other dancers I simply know by who they choice to deal with that I won't get along with soo i avoid them unless they are my friends good regulars and I always say hi and be friendly out of respect knowing they are there for my coworkers and good customers.

    Then there are regulars like my bestfriend who doesn't spend any real money, but every girl likes, some have dated him, and generally he gets treated like a friend (a king sometimes) more then a customer cuz for 1 I sing his praises and for 2 he brings in food and does favors for the girls, parties with us, remembers thier birthdays..ect is invited to employee/and outside things. He never pays a cover, gets 1/2 his drinks free, has 1/2 the girls numbers, slept with a few, and well has all the perks of having a hot lesbian stripper for a BFF. He comes brings his g/f in from time 2 time and still some of my coworkers think he's my boyfriend/or rather should be which only makes him seem more attractive to them , but those that know him know it's not like that and like him cuz he's just a cool guy/sweetheart. He can't go to s tripclub in MIA without guys going up to him and shaking his hand becuz he always has 3 hott strippers/girls sitting with him even if 1/2 the time i is me and the other is my date. Freakin he gets so much street cred hanging w/me it's nofunny, but at the same time he's my BFF and wingman that always know the value of having a hott bff female friend even before we started hanging again as before he's bff was 1 of the hooters girls he had dated and stayed friend w/. She infact was part of the reason I 1st started parting w/him and since we kinda became a lady killing team together soo I do have to give it to him that he understands women more then most men.

    Anyhow it has alot to do with how you as a regular present yourself and treat the dancers ingeneral.

    Really if you would be friendly and do small things out of the norm of being a regular (unless you have an impressive bankflow, or some other asset apealing to hold thier attention) then you would see a better over all relationship with all of them.

    I had a customer that found out I liked comic books and he would just bring them in for me and wow he knew that worked to get me to sit next to him reading that when I wasn't busy where before our bounding time I used to just go to the back room and play video games till one of my money spending customers came in. Same for my tattoo artist who offered me a free tat that I haven't even gone all the way to his shop yet-still he's just friendly to me and even those I only get a few dances from him if he's in the place I'm his pueso girlfriend for that time cuz he treats me soo nice with so mich endearment I almost wish I wasn't gay(I haven't even told him yet which i don't even want to as I kinda like playing the fanasty role with him). However none of the other dancers deal with him(though he's soo cute) cuz he's 1 of my lovesick puppies. I almost think I have a crush on him in a nonsexual way till the part he'ld get naked and he'ld want real sex with instead of just attention and flittering which we did I'ld be ok with it, but unfornately it could never work cuz I'm soo gay even brat pit would whip out that thing on me and it would be over. Besides I have hurt alot of guys that realised nomatter how I like them I'm a dyke that is going to drop them like they didn't exist if a hott girl walked in the room so if he ever wants to take this anywhere else w/me I'll have to tell him just to be fair and that why I haven't been to his shop to get my free tattoo as much as I want a new tat and he's the best and probably be insualted if I get inked up any1else.

    Still I guess it's just an example of the fact that sure there are those few customers that dancers do build some kinda feelings for as thier regulars and even me while most customers who just walk in and I never see again or just that others become almost personal even if it still doesn't cross that line, but sometimes it does. I had a BFF who was 1 of those, but unfornately we are great friends and that wasn't enough for him even though i str8up told him that was all it was ever going to be and we were super close friends for years however I don't think he ever got over teh way I treated hium as a dancer and seeeing me like that so in the realworld where I did end up sexing his sister and he ended up with a girl who i once played with it did and didn't work. I still love him and am glad we met even if I wish it was as a dancer so that wouldn't of confused him up if any1 gets what I mean.
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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan-Va View Post
    I've worked at my club for over five years. There are a lot of regulars that come in almost every day, we're kinda like Cheers with half naked chics. The regulars are awesome! They don't get dances but they always tip you a couple of bucks on stage and get you drinks if you want. These are some of the greatest guys, they know a lot about some of the girls (only what the girls tell them).

    It' kinda nice to have someone to talk to and not BS with.

    Susan, you're gonna get your stripper license revoked, saying nice things about customers that aren't dumping truckloads of money on you like that.
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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    What I've noticed by hanging around this site is this: Some regulars are trustworthy, some aren't; some regulars are interesting, and some aren't; some are cheapskates, and some very generous. I could go on and on.

    It's kind of like what was resolved in the "what I've learned about dancers" thread....only it was dancers that were variable. You could kinda sorta say regulars are like dancers minus the dancing and hotness.

    hb

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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverback View Post
    Susan, you're gonna get your stripper license revoked, saying nice things about customers that aren't dumping truckloads of money on you like that.
    Don't care! These guys are wonderful and VERY trustworthy.

    It's kinda sad that I'd get my stripper license revoked by being nice! I've been such a bitch before and nothing happened!

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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    Yeh there have been a few like that at my club. One of my friends even shared a cab home with one of these guys coz she knew she was safe to do so. He was a regular of one of our other friends.

    It's also nice to see familiar faces amongst a crowd of horny drunk men. Club regulars can be a safe zone for dancers in between hustling.

    Some girls get club regulars to walk them to their cars etc.
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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    As ever you can never generalise - customers in a club do not come out of a single mould.

    I've always felt many of the regulars that get a dancers time are the "safe havens" - the ones that the dancer can go and chat to when she wants a few minutes to relax without going back to the dressing room.

    Like anything else in life politeness and kindness go a long way, and if a dancer wants a non-stressful 10 minutes before she goes back to hustling, then a 'low maintenance' regular might be just the thing.

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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    Club regulars? Not usually.MY regulars? Yes..I'd trust several of them a lot more then the random dude off the street. I've gone to lunch and dinner with a cpl regs in the past..shopping...I've asked them to watch my drink or my purse. Now mind you...guys in the club I trust this much are very few and far between...and they've worked a long time to earn that level of trust with me.

    It goes both ways too. I've had regulars trust me enough to give me their work addresses or phone numbers...knowing full well that I wouldnt rat them out to anyone who answered by telling them where we met. I've even had a few hand over their bank card to me and tell me thier pin number so I can go to the ATM for them because they knew me long enough that they trusted I wouldnt steal from them. And I never would.

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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    Quote Originally Posted by Everyman View Post
    This comes up because in my other thread, and the ones I started last month that no one liked, I've been asked a lot, "how do you know when someone is telling you the truth?"
    You do not know.

    So either you can trust that they are being honest and upfront with you, and at the very least think you are good for 'bar buddy' conversation. Which opens the door for possible disappointment. Or you can protect yourself and distrust it, and possibly miss out on some cool people even if those cool people only exist in the club. Basically you just have to decide what your priorities are when you go out to that club. I mean if you are going there just to see your favorite and have a few drinks then the rest really does not matter one way or the other, does it?

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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    Club regulars? Not usually.MY regulars? Yes..I'd trust several of them a lot more then the random dude off the street. I've gone to lunch and dinner with a cpl regs in the past..shopping...I've asked them to watch my drink or my purse. Now mind you...guys in the club I trust this much are very few and far between...and they've worked a long time to earn that level of trust with me.

    It goes both ways too. I've had regulars trust me enough to give me their work addresses or phone numbers...knowing full well that I wouldnt rat them out to anyone who answered by telling them where we met. I've even had a few hand over their bank card to me and tell me thier pin number so I can go to the ATM for them because they knew me long enough that they trusted I wouldnt steal from them. And I never would.
    Cameron makes a really good point. There is a lot that goes into generating trust and it takes a long time. Trust is generated by some level of relationship and respect between people. That takes a long time to build up. It doesn't matter if its in a sc, at a 9-5 job, or whereever.
    Have we not heard the chimes at midnight?

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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    This question makes no sense to me. More for what? To pay me at the end of a dance? Yes. I think if a guy has been coming to my bar 3 times a week for 6 years... he's unlikely to stop and go somewhere else to avoid paying me. To hold my money, take me home when I'm passing out drunk and hold my hair while I puke? No.

    I don't find customers "relaxing". Phil likes to think of himself as a friendly port in a storm. To me - a friendly port is a customer I know is going to spend. I don't "relax" with non-paying customers, because... why would I? From my perspective it just comes down to them getting something free that I charge everyone else in the room for, and "trust" is not the issue.
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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    Quote Originally Posted by RebeccaSolidarity View Post
    You do not know.

    So either you can trust that they are being honest and upfront with you, and at the very least think you are good for 'bar buddy' conversation. Which opens the door for possible disappointment. Or you can protect yourself and distrust it, and possibly miss out on some cool people even if those cool people only exist in the club. Basically you just have to decide what your priorities are when you go out to that club. I mean if you are going there just to see your favorite and have a few drinks then the rest really does not matter one way or the other, does it?
    Rebecca makes a really good point. It is hard as heck to know if someone is being honest with what they say. The only thing that I have to follow back on is "What do the girl's closest working friends say about her?" The tendency of most girls is to say nothing, even if they do not like who they are talking about. One of the interesting things that occured during the intelligent conversation with #5's Friend was the discussion about #5. One of the things that the Friend asked was why i don't trust #5. On my next trip, I discussed this with #5. The bottom line is that trust takes a long time (as Cameron says). It takes a long time on both sides. I've seen #5 off and on for about 2.5 years and I am still nervous. I commented that I hasn't able to stay at my friend's place. #5 was kind enough to offer me her spare bedroom with "no strings." I thanked her, but declined. I appreciated the offer and it will go along way in my mind to generating some level of trust. However, any appreciable level of trust is a LONG way off.

    My suggestion is to watch what the friends say, the actions, and to not be afraid to achieve zone 5 and escape if you get nervous in any way.

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    Last edited by JoeUnCool; 03-04-2008 at 06:40 PM.
    Have we not heard the chimes at midnight?

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    If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?

    -- Its always amazed me how no one learns the lines from Shakespeare. I guess it is true that people don't learn history's lessons until something become's their history.

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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    To me, where the "trust" comes into play is this: A customer who comes in regularly will establish through his actions a certain identifiable pattern. After some time it's reasonable to assume that the pattern will continue. If he's honest, friendly, a gentleman, a spender, a pleasant dance partner, you can trust him to continue to be that way.

    A random guy coming in to the club is just a total crap-shoot. Who knows what that dude is going to do? Not trustworthy...yet.
    hb

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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    This question makes no sense to me. More for what? To pay me at the end of a dance? Yes. I think if a guy has been coming to my bar 3 times a week for 6 years... he's unlikely to stop and go somewhere else to avoid paying me. To hold my money, take me home when I'm passing out drunk and hold my hair while I puke? No.

    I don't find customers "relaxing". Phil likes to think of himself as a friendly port in a storm. To me - a friendly port is a customer I know is going to spend. I don't "relax" with non-paying customers, because... why would I? From my perspective it just comes down to them getting something free that I charge everyone else in the room for, and "trust" is not the issue.
    As I understand the statement, Jenny questions "what is a customer being trusted for?" That is also an excellent point. If the question is about trusting a regular not to walk out, I think the answer is yes. This brings up another point of generating trust that can be used against you. In my one major miscalculation, a girl I had as a fave for about 6 months had gotten too drunk and had made a scene. It was unknown to me what had happened. She came out of the dressing room. We talked. She was really messed up. I had to go run off. She asked me to come back and pick her up because I was the only one that she trusted. I didn't have to go back and pick her up and she got home safely. The problem with this was that she then used that "trust" statement against me later on (I guess whe wasn't too messed up after all). Even today, I still look back and wonder wtf was i thinking after 15 years. It still sends shivers down my spine.
    Have we not heard the chimes at midnight?

    Once more, unto the breach, dear friends.

    If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?

    -- Its always amazed me how no one learns the lines from Shakespeare. I guess it is true that people don't learn history's lessons until something become's their history.

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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    Quote Originally Posted by Everyman View Post
    "how do you know when someone is telling you the truth?"
    I agree with Rebecca's point...you don't. All you will know is whether or not her story is the same every time she talks to you. Consistancy is the key here. If I say the same thing every time I see you, it is highly likely that you will think I am telling the truth.


    I went to one club a lot and became "known." I had a fave, and would very rarely spend much money beyond her. Yet, the other dancers, whether I was spending any extra money or not, would generally talk, how are things going, what's up with you, here's what's up with me, etc. Just normal, friendly, casual conversations.
    I wouldn't assume she trusts you...she might have another reason to talk to you. I always tend to say hi to other girl's regulars. If the girl is downstairs getting ready for work or something, I might even sit and chat for a minute. You never know...that guy might get pissed at the other girl or get sick of her someday and want to spend his money on another girl. Who better than the friendly girl who talks to you just because she seems to like you?

    At my club we have a couple of bar regulars that I will sit and chat with for a minute or two if I am half a song from going on stage or something. They almost always come give me a few bucks on stage after that, too. I don't trust them, though, and I rarely give real information about myself.

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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    Quote Originally Posted by Everyman View Post
    ... I just mean that I think because I was known, most girls didn't hide their "real" selves from me, like they would if I was a potential stalker or something.
    Can I ask, why do you ask the original question to begin with? Because it still seems to me like this is yet another "am I special?" post.

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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    Maybe it is.

    It probably is.

    But so what?

    I know that a lot of people here are real tired of folk coming on here and trying to receive confirmation that they are somehow special, but I think that sort of confirmation seeking is pretty standard as far as human behavior goes. An internet community is certainly an awful place to do that because nobody actually knows anybody else (except for those who also know each other offline) and nobody is inside of the situation. That means that any confirmation or denial is pretty much inaccurate damn near impossible to provide.

    What it comes down to is this: We have no idea if he is special, because none of us actually know any of the dancers in question and none of us have witnessed his relationship with these girls. So all anyone here has to go off is either their own cynicism or their own optimism. Either he is being worked over or he is not but none of us actually know one way or the other. Some advice to maintain personal boundaries and safety is really all that can be offered in this sort of situation, right?

    But trying to break something down by calling someone who is just acting on a very basic human need is not only cynical and callous, it is also rude in my opinion. There are other ways to address an issue like that and those other ways would probably end the issue itself pretty quickly. I only say this because basic human dignity and respectful mindful dialogue are both ideas that I try to support as consistently as possible.



    I dunno.

    It can be difficult to make a recently single man pay for sex when he knows that a quick trip to the local watering hole would secure at least one hard drunken tumble for far less cash. It is even more difficult when he is something of a dead ringer for James Bond as played by Daniel Craig and possesses the sort of awkard charm and confidence that brands a man like him as a lady killer.

    - Daisy Loveless, Serving Lunch Weblog

  24. #24
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    Quote Originally Posted by RebeccaSolidarity View Post
    But trying to break something down by calling someone who is just acting on a very basic human need is not only cynical and callous, it is also rude in my opinion.
    I know what you are saying, but the problem is that this is not a neutral group of people who has the OP's best interest at heart. A neutral group would not include dancers or customers. This is a group that has various self serving motivations which biases their answers.

    See I think men and customers tend to be happier over the long run if they are aware of what makes themselves tick (even if over the short-run they have to face a small truth that their question is ultimately about validation). Yes, facing it is mildly confrontational, but it is only mildly so. I am not afraid of mild confrontation if the benefits over the long run out weigh the short-term difficulty of it.

    Facing their motivations frees them to enjoy an SC and themselves without being slave to trying to find validation in a place that is not a good place to find validation over the long run. The human need is fine and normal, but there are many places to get validation, and guys who are trying to find it in SCs are often repeatedly disappointed as the cold hard truth ultimately sinks in, they really aren't special in a club except to the degree that they are paying for it.

    There is nothing wrong with paying for entertainment, but if he is looking to feel special, paying for it suffices over the short term, but over the long term customers are often worse off for it if they don't really grasp that they search for validation in a place that really can't provide that.

  25. #25
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you trust "club regulars" more?

    Quote Originally Posted by RebeccaSolidarity View Post
    But trying to break something down by calling someone who is just acting on a very basic human need is not only cynical and callous, it is also rude in my opinion. There are other ways to address an issue like that and those other ways would probably end the issue itself pretty quickly. I only say this because basic human dignity and respectful mindful dialogue are both ideas that I try to support as consistently as possible.
    I dunno Rebecca; one of the things that I'm particularly sensitive about on stripperweb is the number of customers who don't realize that stripclubs are "just pretend" and will get full out angry that strippers on stripperweb don't give them the same kind of "treatment" they get in a club. I generally would suggest that if one wants strippers to make one feel "special" that one should trot on out to a stripclub forthwith; it is not what we do here. I agree it is a normal thing to want; that doesn't mean that we are obliged to provide the kind of service that he would normal expect to pay for and we would normally expect to be paid for here for him for free. That would, in my opinion, spell the death of stripperweb - if it becomes a place where guys come to seek stripper validation but without the pesky money. We don't validate customers here just because they are customers. I cannot agree that it is callous; quite the contrary, I think the blind entitlement that so many guys feel to it is callous.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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