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Thread: My OB called me fat...

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    Default My OB called me fat...

    OKay, he didn't use those exact words, but he may as well have!

    Now I am all upset because I didn't think I was doing so bad, and I certainly didn't think I looked that bad

    I had always been strict with my diet...no bread, little pasta, brown rice...limited dairy, no potatoes and certainly no junk food. I was a machine when working out and would ofetn run the first mile in cardio in about 8 minutes average and then conitune on with a jog/incline walk for the rest of the hour...then follow it up with a rigourous weight routine.

    Well since finding out I was pregnant, I thought it would be best to eat more dairy products, enjoy some bread and give in a bit more often to pasta cravings. I eat a ton of fruit to boot...

    While this first trimester knocked me on my ass...zero energy, I was too tired to work out as much. It was ridiculous. I had to scale down the intensity of my workouts of course and I know that has had an effect in my level of fitness. So, I basically went from weighing 118lbs to 133lbs in the last say 10 weeks. I am 14 weeks now. I can still wear most of my normal clothes even though I do have a baby belly now. My tits have gotten HUGE (which is awsome). All my baby weight so far is all up front. Its not like the extra weight shows in my face, back or ass.

    But my OB made a comment that I was gaining too fast and stop "pigging out" and limit my dairy (cheese) and eat more veggies and fruit. He never even bothered to ask what I was eating to begin with or he'd know that's pretty much a bulk of my diet..fruit and veggies! If I "pig out" its on grapes or pickles! He also said no juice, only water....well I don't keep juice in the house unless its tomato juice and I drink mostly water anyway.

    He made me feel like a fat ass. I thought I would never hear anyone call me fat again, let alone if I was pregnant. I didn't think I looked too bad until now. I wanted to cry.

    I will post a pic a later today and I want some HONEST feedback, even if it hurts. The truth can't always be pretty.....

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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    What an asshole. 133 pounds is not fat, pregnant or not. This guys got an attitude problem. He should know that this is not the way to talk to a pregnant woman. Your already feeling vunerable and emotional and then some douchebag calls you fat. I' so sorry this happened to you hon maybe you should think about getting a new OB?



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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    I bet half that weight is boob! He sounds like a winner. Maybe 15 isn't what you're supposed to gain, but could he at least ASK what you're eating. Can you get a new doc? Because I bet he'll be a jerk the whole time.

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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    That's funny you say that, mine makes me feel like shit about my weight also!! He's always on my case about it, telling me I NEED to eat bc I look sickly thin. Even the receptionist has invited me to her house to eat. No joke, they make me feel crappy. I hate it. But I do love him as a dr.

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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    He's the third OB I've had, and his staff is great. He's not that bad, I just think maybe he didn't quite realize he was treading on dangerous grounds. I was always so super strict with my diet and exercise routine, and have had such a harsh fear of any weight gain, that once I knew I was pregnant, it was almost a bit of a relief because I knew that I couldn't be so rigid with myself anymore. I have to think of baby. The next time I see him (in 4 weeks) I think I will have a chat with him about his comments and try to put a lilttle perspective on the issue.

    Until then, I have to try and NOT restrict myself and go and over do the gym. This is just such a mind-fuck for me, that I guess I am now having a hard time coping with the weight gain now. I was fine until this....

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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    You.....are 'far' from fat. It sounds as if your OB lacks bed side manner. He may be concerned what would happen to you if you gained weight at that rate throughout your pregnancy but you won't. You need to take care of yourself and pamper yourself and cutting back on your exercise routine was the right thing for you, it was the 'good and healthy choice' not to be so rigid with yourself.
    I definitely think you need to give your OB some perspective.

    Take care of yourself and congrats on being pregnant!!

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    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    It isn't that you are fat per se, it's that if you continue to gain weight at that rate he is worried you will gain "too much" (<--- keep in mind "too much" is going to be a different amount for everyone) and be at more of a risk for gestational diabetes.

    It sounds like your OB just has shitty bedside manner and didn't think to explain himself better.



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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sirona View Post
    It isn't that you are fat per se, it's that if you continue to gain weight at that rate he is worried you will gain "too much" (<--- keep in mind "too much" is going to be a different amount for everyone) and be at more of a risk for gestational diabetes.

    It sounds like your OB just has shitty bedside manner and didn't think to explain himself better.
    I totally agree. There ARE health concerns/consequences from gaining too much throughout the 9 months. For you and your baby. However, it sounds as if your OB has a HORRIBLE bedside manner. He most definitely could have been more diplomatic about the whole thing. Your hormones are raging during pregnancy, and you don't need some dickhead doc making you feel bad about yourself. There are ways to explain his concerns without having you feeling emotionally wrecked. I've had 3 babies myself, and was lucky enough to have great doctors. Is there anyway you can switch? I know you said you've been thru several, but if there ever was a reason to change, this is it. Perhaps their is another OB/GYN within the same practice that you would be more comfortable with? :hugs:

    From WEBMD:
    Ask your health care provider how much weight you should gain during pregnancy. A woman of average weight before pregnancy should gain 25 to 35 pounds during pregnancy. Underweight women should gain 28-40 pounds during pregnancy. Overweight women may need to gain only 15-25 pounds during pregnancy. You may need to gain more or less weight, depending on what your health care provider recommends.
    In general, you should gain about 2 to 4 pounds during your first three months of pregnancy and 1 pound a week for the remainder of your pregnancy. If you are expecting twins you should gain 35 to 45 pounds during your pregnancy. This would be an average of 1 ½ pounds per week after the usual weight gain in the first three months.
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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    My experience is that some guys don't know how to say the right things, and they don't realize that they may hurt a lady with their words.

    I agree that 133 doesn't sound fat at all for a woman that's NOT pregnant. He probably meant that it's best to make sure you're not gaining weight too fast, but didn't know how to put it in a mannerly and sensitive way.

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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    I agree with the other ladies. It sounds like he's concerned with you gaining too much too fast and it becoming an issue later on in the pregnancy, but just didn't say it in the most tactful manner.

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    Veteran Member Nina77's Avatar
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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    Reminds me of the time I stood on the scale around 6 months pregnant and my midwife said "Wow, someone's been hungry!" lol whatever.. 4 kids later I still look good!

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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sirona View Post
    It isn't that you are fat per se, it's that if you continue to gain weight at that rate he is worried you will gain "too much" (<--- keep in mind "too much" is going to be a different amount for everyone) and be at more of a risk for gestational diabetes.

    It sounds like your OB just has shitty bedside manner and didn't think to explain himself better.
    That's what I was going to say. He didn't say that you SHOULDN'T gain weight, he was just expressing concern that you may be doing it too fast and he didn't sugarcoat it. The next time you see him, I'd suggest you tell him that the expression "pigging out" hurt your feelings and let him explain himself better. Plus, it will keep him from using that term with other women.
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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    I have a feeling your doctor has never been pregnant so its easy for him to talk. He TOTALLY should have worded it differently (especially to a pregnant woman, but whatever.)

    I wouldn't worry if you gain a little extra weight. Just keep in mind, its important to eat healthy during your pregnancy. I have read that babies develop lifelong "tastes" that reflect what the mother ate while she was pregnant. Like, if you eat spicy Indian food your baby will be more likely to prefer spicy indian food. You might as well get your spawn off on the right foot by eating lots of fruits and vegetables now.

    Other than that, I've always been a little suspicious of male gynos... just kidding!!! As long as he's respectful, available and knowledgable, I'm sure you're in good hands. Any idea what ur gonna name the bump yet???

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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    I just stepped on my home scal and it said I was at 126lbs! I know weight fluxuates during the day, and you should always weigh yourself first thing in the morning anyways, but it made me feel better! I always found that the scales at the Dr.'s office ALWAYS read heavier than my home scale.

    Hubby and I decided on names, boy: Ethan William Albert, girl: Navaeh (Na-vey-a) Sydney Theresa

    The baby is actually due on the anniversay of my Uncle Albert's death 28yrs ago....weird eh? He died in a tragic car crash when he was coming home to get married.

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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    Fuck. That. Noise.

    You're going to be getting more energy soon, and will be able to work out more and won't feel as limited in your food choices as 1st trimester wooziness can make you. I think in 1st tri, women can sometimes LOSE weight because they're so sick & can't eat, OR if they manage to eat despite sickness, but can't work out due to fatigue, they can gain more weight than is "average".

    There's a whole range of what can be considered normal, and it boggles my mind that conventional medicine is STILL so caught up with their precious charts and averages and numbers. Every woman is different, and every pregnancy is different. The fact that he didn't even have ANY IDEA of how you actually do eat before he made his lofty proclamation just cements it for me. You keep doing what you're doing. Eat healthy, eat well, eat a variety of everything, and move as much as you can without being insane about it.

    You are doing FINE.

    P.S. Love the name!
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
    Fuck. That. Noise.

    You're going to be getting more energy soon, and will be able to work out more and won't feel as limited in your food choices as 1st trimester wooziness can make you. I think in 1st tri, women can sometimes LOSE weight because they're so sick & can't eat, OR if they manage to eat despite sickness, but can't work out due to fatigue, they can gain more weight than is "average".
    That is sooo true. With all 3 of my pregnancies I lost weight during the first three months. I was sooo damn sick.
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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    Ugh. I feel for you ladies.
    I had NO morning sickness ever. If I did I would have stopped at one kid.



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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    Same thing happend to me! While it was true I had gained too much too fast (not saying you have!), I just couldn't get over her snide comments.."ooh better slow down there" F that..I found someone else. Sounds like you're very healthy, keep up the good work. Congratulations!

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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    Thanks girls. I haven't had any mornning sickness at all, and I feel very lucky! I still hafta get hubby to take a pic so I can post and get your honest opinions. That way you gals can see exactly where I am!

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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    I bet you look amazing!!!!

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    Default Re: My OB called me fat...

    Oh darling. He didn't word that very well at all...what a bastard.

    I gained all my weight in the first 5 months and then started retaining water really badly for the last four. At my last doctor's appointment I weighed in at 225...I had gained over 100 pounds! My doctor said all along that there was nothing abnormal about gaining your 30 'pregnancy pounds' right at the beginning all long as you didn't gain it by gorging on grease and sugar. It just might hurt your self image a bit more if you gain all this baby fat right at the beginning then have to watch the number on the scale keep going up when you start retaining fluid and the baby gets bigger.
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