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Thread: An angering invasion of privacy -- feedback?

  1. #1
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Angry An angering invasion of privacy -- feedback?

    Okay today at work, I've been talking to a male friend/ex-boyfriend over Yahoo Messenger. Long story short, our convo leads to discussing ticketable offenses. My friend "Joe" claims that it is easy to pull up a background report to see if any of my bench warrants(parking tickets, etc) is still on my record or not. He says that he'll have his friend do it right now. I said "no thanks" but he seemed somewhat persistent but I really do not want people invading my privacy. Plus, I do not want him picking apart things on there that they might not like; for example, a few yrs ago Joe picked apart the fact that I was a dancer and I do not want his Republican narrow mind to pick apart my background and MVR reports. He acted like "wow...you must be hiding something," which made me more pissy so I wrote "I'm a Big Girl...if I want to get my reports, I can get them myself thank you very much." And if I wanted him to know my whole life story, I can always tell him myself.

    Aren't I entitled to privacy? I do NOT want people doing this. My mom did this to me a few yrs ago, and then used the information against me in a very bad way even though she had no right to obtain that info in the first place. It was an angering and stifling experience. How can he have his attorney friend look at my records anyway, unless he has my Social Security number or Driver's License number...which I'm not willing to give out? And if he has this or knows a way to hack and obtain it, that makes me angry because in my opinion that is "data theft."

    I am angry and after I wrote a few pissy comments such as "if you steal my SS# and look up stuff on me, *I* will be the one pressing criminal charges today", he stopped talking to me. It could be that he got called to do a work task or a meeting(he's very sporadic with the way he uses IM, since he does it at work). Or it could be that he's annoyed by my bad attitude, which I feel I'm very justified to have.

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Daisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: An angering invasion of privacy -- feedback?

    I don't know about PA, but there are some states where all you need is a person's first and last name to obtain DMV records, as well as court records. You don't even have to be an attorney to do it.
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  3. #3
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: An angering invasion of privacy -- feedback?

    Really? But how can just a first and last name distinguish someone, especially someone like me that has a VERY common American name?

    It's more the principle than anything. I'd like to do things myself. I don't want people analyzing my credit or my background records or my employment records unless I tell them to. I wish they would take my word seriously and not go over my head as if I was a small child or something. My parents used to pull that shit on me throughout my entire life, and it was fuckin' annoying and did NOTHING for me survival/streetsmarts wise.

  4. #4
    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Re: An angering invasion of privacy -- feedback?

    PD,
    I'm with you when it comes to the principle of it. I totally understand your feelings on this.

  5. #5
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: An angering invasion of privacy -- feedback?

    You can look all of that up with first and last name. You don't need a SS#. (at least not in my state). It may be shitty that he wants to look up the info, but it's public record, anyone could do it.
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  6. #6
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: An angering invasion of privacy -- feedback?

    I have been talking to him online (the reason he didn't answer was because he got into a convo with someone at the office) and he said he won't do it, and I explained to him the principles associated with it. It's the principle of it. My mom pulled that shit on me three years ago, and even snooped through my medical records, which is stupid because I was a legal adult and not financially dependent or anything. I remember I was mad at her too and if I'd had more of a backbone and balls back then, I would have called the cops possibly.

  7. #7
    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: An angering invasion of privacy -- feedback?

    enh. just ignore it unless he brings it up again.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: An angering invasion of privacy -- feedback?

    Heh, I've looked up everyone I know in the public court system where I live. It shows everything from parking tickets to full criminal charges.
    I don't know about all states, but in many you don't need anything beyond a last name and (sometimes) a first initial.
    I'm a full believer in privacy, but when it's a matter of law-breaking, it makes you fair game.



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    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: An angering invasion of privacy -- feedback?

    I thought medical records were confidential, how can anyone just snoop through them with your ssn or driver license info? Either way, it's wrong to stalk people like that, personal information should stay personal.

  10. #10
    Veteran Member Daisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: An angering invasion of privacy -- feedback?

    Quote Originally Posted by PhillyDancer1982 View Post
    Really? But how can just a first and last name distinguish someone, especially someone like me that has a VERY common American name?
    Hypothetically, your name is "Mary Thompson." So I go to the site and type that in. It will then show me every Mary Thompson in the system along with their info, such as addresses. If I know you then chances are I can pick the right one. I don't think it's right either, but that's how it's done.
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  11. #11
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: An angering invasion of privacy -- feedback?

    Yeah I guess you guys are right that it's not illegal to obtain background reports, but I guess I'm talking more about the ethical/moral reasons. It's just not "nice" for a true friend to do that when I wish to have privacy. Plus, this guy is rather snobby and close-minded Republican at times, so I really do not need him scrutinizing and mocking me for little things that'll show up, such as long-ago bench warrants for unpaid parking tickets back when I was broke as a joke pre-dancing days(these warrants were long ago paid/cleared up, BTW). I deal with enough annoying bullshit from him as it is sometimes, e.g. him claiming that I'd need 50% down payment for a house, or making fun of stripping a few times in the past. There were times that I wondered why I was still talking to him, so I figure that if he does something like this after I told him "no"...I shouldn't talk to him.

    But yeah, I think he understands where I stand with this issue and hopefully he will not bring it up again.

    Daisa, a relief that I have is the fact that my name is very VERY common. Therefore, it will be hard for him to distinguish one "Mary Thompson" from 50 others in my city, plus he doesn't know the exact zip code I live and/or have my DL registered.

  12. #12
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: An angering invasion of privacy -- feedback?

    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    I thought medical records were confidential, how can anyone just snoop through them with your ssn or driver license info? Either way, it's wrong to stalk people like that, personal information should stay personal.
    Okay here's how my mom "stalked" my medical records. When I went to the ER a few yrs ago, they sent the bill to my parents' address(I was so stupid to use their address on the ER forms instead of putting down a friend's address or a fictitious address. I kinda worried something like this would happen, since my mom tended to treat me like a small child and read my mail). My mom opened the bill, partly because she had to help me dispute a medical bill a few months prior when the hospital kept neglecting to process my insurance info. As soon as she read the bill, she realized that it was for something completely different BUT then she got suspicious and decided to do some snooping. That's when she called up the hospital and found out the situation concerning my medical bill...my situation involved nothing illegal like drugs, but it was something that I knew my overprotective, babying mother wouldn't think too fondly of. Yes, you need a person's SSN and date of birth to find out this shit, but of course my mom had this information since she was my mother. It was wrong and snooping for her to do this, and even more wrong for her to then use this immorally obtained info against me. Yeah maybe she didn't like the circumstance, but I was a Big Girl(22) at the time and it really wasn't any of her business, esp since she had no financial involvement with this bill(I wasn't even on my parents' health insurance by this point).

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