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Thread: Ethics and Morals

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    Member sunnyb's Avatar
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    Default Ethics and Morals

    So this past week I've been strongly embracing the idea of becoming a topless dancer. I'm a gymnast and I loooove interacting with people. Here's the thing... My parents are Catholic, and I'm afraid of not ever being able to have a relationship with a good guy because a lot of people have the impression that strippers are "dirty". I, however, do not. I thought about stripping at a club an hour away from where I live so I won't be recognized by anyone around here. I'm not ashamed of getting into the business, I just know people are going to get the wrong idea of me and judge me for what I would be doing, and not the person I am. So I have a couple questions... First of all, when it comes to ethics and morals, what do you think about them in retrospect to stripping? Secondly, how do you turn around that negativity of the social taboo in your head?

    I'm a college student and my time is worth more than $400 a month. I need to pay some bills but I'm afraid that stripping will take a toll on me, mentally. I need help feeling like it's okay I guess. Because all the time, people are making it seem so negative.

    What are some good positive things that have come out of stripping for you? Other than the moolah?

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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    There will be people who think you are dirty, guys who will think you are undateable, some friends and even family might shun you. Stripping is not for everyone. Namely, the type of girl who worries about what people will think of her. You need to have thick skin and a strong sense of self to make it in this business. Not all strippers start out that way, sometimes its something you learn along the way.
    If you have an ethical or moral problem with stripping, dont do it. Going against your morals will hurt your self esteem. Personally, I do not have a moral problem with sexuality or nudity. I was not raised in a religious background or taught to feel shame over such things. I don't see a logical reason to feel guilty about erotic entertainment and sexuality, its a normal part of human nature.
    As for the social taboo, the crowd I keep is open minded. With unfamiliar people I may or may not mention my job. I am not ashamed in the least, the last thing I worry about in a day is "what does this random stranger think of me" I dont give a shit. However, if you are going to have a straight job one day, you may want to consider the possible repercussions.

    The other positive thing about stripping besides the cash is FREEDOM.

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    Member sunnyb's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    Thank you for your reply, Zabrina. I want to add that I'm really open minded, and I'm not afraid of what strangers think of me... But I don't want to hurt the people that I'm close to. I know I should live my life for me, and it really doesn't matter what anyone else wants me to do with my life. Also, don't a lot of people strip and then get into a "straight" job? I've heard of a lot of collge girls stripping and then getting their PHD's or law degrees and moving on to something else..

    I appreciate the advice and I think the only problem is changing the mentality that family and the media have drilled into my head. It could be a problem for a lot of people... But like you said, I guess you have to have thick skin.

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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyb View Post
    Also, don't a lot of people strip and then get into a "straight" job? I've heard of a lot of collge girls stripping and then getting their PHD's or law degrees and moving on to something else..
    Yes, of course lots of girls get straight jobs later. Just consider that if you live in a small town, or will one day be working alongside your college coeds, you may need to keep your dancing on the down low.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    Where in the bible does it say stripping is dirty? Show me.


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

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    Veteran Member Nini Nieb's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    I'm pretty much in the same boat !

    If you decide to go dancing - no need to advertise it - to normal social enviroment ...

    Women always have to be discrete !!!

    If you get caught - try to downzize it !!! 'I only did it 5 times in the last 3 weeks'.
    If you/I get really caught ... You have to stand up for your self !!!

    * I'm not a little girl !! I'm a woman !! I have the right to be free !!! It's nobodys businees but my own *

    Of course if you don't feel like it ... In your heart/p*ssy ... Do not do it !!!

    Thanks for your post !!!

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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    If you live in a small town, an hour away is not far enough! Just speaking from experience!


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    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    First of all, I'm Catholic and I really don't think that Jesus is mad at me for dancing around naked.

    It does sound tho, that you're uncomfortable with the idea of dancing from everything you've said. I personally wouldn't want to dance in my home town only because I don't want to dance in Milwaukee because the money isn't very good here, so (I used to live in Vegas) I'm planning on driving down to Chicago to dance like I used to when I was in college here.

    But everyone knows I dance, including my parents, and I have no problem with it. Maybe you should try bartending. If you're wondering how we handle the immoralities of dancing, obviously you feel its immoral, and you shouldn't do it IMHO. Furthermore, I don't see what being a gymnast has to do with dancing in a club. I am a ballet dancer, and that really doesnt have anything to do with work, except maybe I look better on stage.
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Featured Member saphire123456's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    i, like Zabrina, also don't see anything wrong and immoral about dancing naked. I don't feel a twinge of guilt about it whatsoever. I think that I project that attitude to everyone since noone has really given me too much crap about it. I don't particularly advertise this, like i would definetly rather that my bf's family not know, but if they did find out, the world wouldn't come to a screeching halt either. It also didn't put a damper on my dating life . I didn't lower my standards and 3 out of 4 of my serious bfs were perfectly supportive (2 of which were btw catholic) i agree that stripping is great, but only for certain people, and if you'll feel guilty or ashamed of it, it'll leave you open to people sensing that and guilt tripping you, so think twice
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    I'm basically in exactly the same situation as you. I was raised Catholic, but I'm not Catholic myself. I'm also a college student, but I don't live in the same town as my parents. I've been stripping a little while, and my guess is the Catholic mindfuck will take its toll on you, but if you have the right stuff you will probably get over it. I know the second night I stripped I cried in the car on the way home, but that was the worst of it. After that, it slowly got better and felt normal and not wrong. With time, being around nekkid girls constantly will change the taboo for you. Just let it happen.
    As for my parents, I have no plans to ever tell them, and I don't see why that would ever be necessary. If they want to know why you're making so much money, tell them you are a cocktail waitress or something. That's all they need to know.
    Friends will surprise you. No one I've told has reacted the way I thought they would. With some, it has taken a little time, but they all think it's really cool now and of course, they envy my money. If someone ditches you for being a stripper, then that's their loss. One thing though is that you shouldn't tell people you've just met about what you do, because they are more likely to judge you for it.
    I think you should go for it, if that's what you want. I'm so happy I had the guts to go for it, because now I love it. It's seriously one of the best things that's ever happened to me. I think you should try it out, and you'll probably feel the same.

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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    My job does not define me. I've come across a lot of people who have those preconceived notions of what a stripper is. That is not me. And I really don't care what strangers think about me.

    My parents raised me with good morals and values, I was raised Catholic. My parents know the child the raised is a responsible adult know.

    And as for having a relationship with a good guy, I met my husband nine years ago at a club I worked at (he was a DJ). He's the most amazing guy in the world, loves me for me.

    You're going to get some flack from people about your jib because a lot of people are closed minded. It's up to you to decide if you can deal with other peoples judegment of you.

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    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    ^^Ding ding ding.

    Weigh your priorities and your obligations. To me, it is important to remain on good terms with my parents; however, they live several states away and should never have an opportunity to find out what exactly I do. So I bear the daily stress of lying to them. It sucks but I deal with it; however, that may not be worth it to you. You're the only one who can determine that.

    Like has been said above, friends and significant others can surprise you. All my good friends know and are cool with it. My husband is absolutely fine. As for going to a conventional job later in life, many many many of the ex-dancers on here are wildly successful in 'traditional' jobs. Again, you have to be the one to evaluate the risks vs. the rewards and determine what makes it worth it to you.

    Everyone's got different morals. I know that I'm not crossing any of my own lines and I can sleep easy at night. Hopefully you'll choose the path that gives you the same peace of mind.


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    Veteran Member RebeccaSolidarity's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    i dunno if this well help you at all, but it definitely helped me when i had to weigh the differences between wanting to be a stripper and being a seminarian in the johannite church. we are similar to the catholics but not nearly as judgemental so i am not sure that a catholic would say the same thing but he definitely hits the nail on the head. this is a conversation between me and the bishop in charge of my education. it may not be the same as your situation but, well, i hope it at least helps a little bit.

    Me: i dunno. i dunno. i dunno. full of anxiety.
    Me: now i hide under blanket
    Monsignor McStudmuffinbucket: why hide?
    Monsignor McStudmuffinbucket: really, it's just a performance
    Monsignor McStudmuffinbucket: I don't see how this is any different from [any performance stuff], to be honest
    Monsignor McStudmuffinbucket: [dancers are] just acting and performing
    Monsignor McStudmuffinbucket: people are projecting onto [them]
    Monsignor McStudmuffinbucket: it's actually good clergy training
    Monsignor McStudmuffinbucket: [they're] not doing anything illegal
    Monsignor McStudmuffinbucket: seriously, NOT a big deal

    um.

    i call him monsignor mcstudmuffinbucket because he is kind of mega hawt. but that is neither here nor there. but basically yeah. the most important thing is that you go the way you want to go and that you allow yourself to become the person that you want to become. the negative attitudes faced by people - for almost any reason - are just projections from the outside world which means they are nothing more than the delusions of some other person, and they have nothing to do with the person you actually are or want to be.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Where in the bible does it say stripping is dirty? Show me.
    it does not, not anywhere really. in theory people can make projections based off their own uneducated interpretations of the bible. in fact the bible contains some of the most beautiful erotic poetry ever written, at least in my opinion.

    It can be difficult to make a recently single man pay for sex when he knows that a quick trip to the local watering hole would secure at least one hard drunken tumble for far less cash. It is even more difficult when he is something of a dead ringer for James Bond as played by Daniel Craig and possesses the sort of awkard charm and confidence that brands a man like him as a lady killer.

    - Daisy Loveless, Serving Lunch Weblog

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    Member sunnyb's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    I agree with all the replies, and I don't want to be as close-minded as my parents brought me up to be. I guess I am a little afraid to start, as I'm sure everyone was. I would definately not get into something I wasn't pretty sure I wanted to do. I say "pretty sure", because sometimes you can't be 100% sure until you try it. I can't judge something if I haven't done it. I can't say something is gross until I've tried it.

    Also, I was really surprised by how many people metioned not always telling everyone what you do. I'm sure it's because, in a way, you don't want someone to be judgemental of you. We all have a little bit in us that cares what people think. I disagree with letting it take over your decisions though. What people think shouldn't affect the choices you make. But it does matter to all of us... A little.

    And thank you, delbertsan, for that advice.

    In the end, I see it as a powerful thing for women. I mean, if you can get a man to empty his wallet willingly, who knows what you could do, right? And the only time I get scared thinking about it is when I think about my parents, and my future guy. But I guess people have made it work, and it's becoming clearer for me. People DO have good relationships with strippers. And people CAN be friends with strippers. I don't know how people were able to put the idea in my head that they couldn't. Just because I was taught conventional thinking, doesn't mean I have to continue that way. I realize that.

    Thanks for all the replies.

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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    Sunny, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I'm sure you will do well at what ever you decide to do.

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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    Quote Originally Posted by RebeccaSolidarity View Post
    i call him monsignor mcstudmuffinbucket because he is kind of mega hawt.

    Us Catholics call them Father What-a-waste.

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    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    Dancers can be really good people. As long as you stay true to yourself and the one you're with, and not compromise your ethics for the job or anyone. Dancing doesn't make you immoral. There's tons of church leaders and religious groups that are corrupt, commit crimes, and are just out of control. So it doesn't always have to do with the job.

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    Member sunnyb's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    Quote Originally Posted by AznExtasy View Post
    Dancers can be really good people. As long as you stay true to yourself and the one you're with, and not compromise your ethics for the job or anyone. Dancing doesn't make you immoral. There's tons of church leaders and religious groups that are corrupt, commit crimes, and are just out of control. So it doesn't always have to do with the job.
    I agree. It depends on the person, and you really can't classify anyone. I'm suprised how educated and intelligent most of the people on here actually are.

    I think as long as I stick to my limits, I shouldn't have a problem. Wouldn't most of you agree? I wouldn't feel comfortable performing any "extras" for anyone, as I've heard some will do for the extra $$. Everyone has their limits, and I think it's okay that I'm a little afraid about it. It's very intimidating.

    But... I have looked into a place that is a couple towns away and I'm excited about going in to get more info. It's a topless club, which makes me feel a little better knowing that it's not a full nude, (hey, you gotta start somewhere, right?) but I was curious if anyone has heard of a place letting you work just once or twice a week, starting out? I know this is a question I need to ask management there, but I'm not sure if this industry is more lenient. Is it a bad idea to just work once or twice a week? I know you have to build up your regulars and stuff, so do you think I will hurt too bad?

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    Veteran Member SnakeBabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Where in the bible does it say stripping is dirty? Show me.
    I have been asking this question for years.
    It doesn’t.
    Actually, if you read about the Shulamite woman who danced almost naked for her lover (not husband) it was accepted. Read the Song of Solomon.
    The bible is so much more Pro-Sex then people think.

    Hugs and Hissessss,
    Maria
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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    Yeah that was my point. It doesn't! SO go ahead and dance naked!


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

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    Member sunnyb's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    You bitches are awesome. I'm so convinced and now all I need is a good stripper name. I know it's a long one, but I was thinking... Weapons of Ass Distruction. Catchy. Lol.

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    Veteran Member RebeccaSolidarity's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    I say go for something Catholic sounding.

    You know.

    Own it.



    But thas jus me.

    It can be difficult to make a recently single man pay for sex when he knows that a quick trip to the local watering hole would secure at least one hard drunken tumble for far less cash. It is even more difficult when he is something of a dead ringer for James Bond as played by Daniel Craig and possesses the sort of awkard charm and confidence that brands a man like him as a lady killer.

    - Daisy Loveless, Serving Lunch Weblog

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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveSexMoney View Post
    If you live in a small town, an hour away is not far enough! Just speaking from experience!

    Heh...That''s how it is here in Chicago. Driving an hour to the next Chicago suburb is nothing...You're still bound to run into people you know at a strip club.

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    Member sunnyb's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    ^^ Really? An hour away isn't far enough? But it's like 4 cities away! How far away would be a safe distance?

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    Default Re: Ethics and Morals

    Quote Originally Posted by SnakeBabe View Post
    I have been asking this question for years.
    It doesn’t.
    Actually, if you read about the Shulamite woman who danced almost naked for her lover (not husband) it was accepted. Read the Song of Solomon.
    The bible is so much more Pro-Sex then people think.

    Hugs and Hissessss,
    Maria
    the song of solomon is about marriage and a betrothed, then married couple. it is not advocating sexual expression outside of marriage.

    that is a misleading presentation of that book of the Bible, to say the least. the Bible is quite pro-sex, but within marriage. that is a key distinction.

    as for the title of this thing, only (some) pagan belief systems and all Christian belief systems offer consistent reasoning for their moral framework that takes into account human behavior patterns. all other systems are pretty much just means of justifying whatever naughtiness one is most inclined towards or wishful idealising of how humans oughta be and mysteriously never are.

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