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Thread: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

  1. #1
    Banned jasmine's Avatar
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    Default OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    This house is a BIG pain in the ass to clean, and I sooooo hate cleaning. It's almost 4,000 sf (and that does not include the garage and stairs). It takes 2 people 3-4 hours to do it, and they aren't taking care of 2 kids while doing it. ARRRGGGG!

    Hubby suddenly decided not to hire a new person because we've had such trouble keeping someone reliable. I think he decided this because HE won't have to do a damn thing. I have no help with the kids, we have no family nearby or anyone we trust with them and the hubby works a lot of hours. I'm really kinda freaking out. He is very messy, and the laundry alone takes me an hour or more a day. Add to that the 1-2 hours of picking up and cooking I do every day. Without the house to take care of I've got 2-3 hours a day of cleaning to do.

    Am I just being spoiled and lazy????

    On top of this stress my family is acting like I was being unreasonable for letting her go. I don't know why, they don't even know her, but it seems like they will side with anyone over me.

    Hell, we let her go because she hadn't been changing the beds, or cleaning 3 sitting rooms, the sunroom, office, or the dining room. That's a lot of shit we were paying her to do that she wasn't doing! She actually took the clean sheets that I laid out for her last week and wadded them up and put them on the bottom of the laundry basket, then made the bed up so I couldn't tell until she was gone, WTF was she thinking. Then when we mentioned it she argued like crazy.

    This wouldn't bother me to bad, but she always tried to make me feel like my house was a disaster anyway. Every other cleaning person we had commented on how neat I am, but not her. So we paid her extra to deal with my clutter and sloppy ways. I feel like she was just showing up to collect my money and then heading out as fast as she could. Last week she even smarted off to me about not tearing the check out fast enough!

    So any advice on how to clean this place quickly?
    Was I being a spoiled bitch?
    Thoughts?
    Any ideas on how to convince hubby I really do need help?

  2. #2
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    Flylady is good for forming a plan on housecleaning:

    No I don't think you're being a spoiled bitch! You have 2 kids and a messy husband; that's a lot of work!

    I don't think hubby will really ever understand. I would just tell him since you are the homemaker of the house so to speak, that you are taking the task of finding another housekeeper by yourself and he will have no right to fire the next one unless he consults with you first. After all, he doesn't have to clean the house when they are fired; you do!

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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    ... not to sound inconsiderate, but i WISH i had your problems. Let's trade 'houses' for a day and see how you feel after that. My 'house' is a studio where the twin bed takes up most of the space available. I'll happily clean your house.

    That said, sounds like you and hubby need to have a talk about dividing responsibilities and getting the kids to help out more. I don't think this is really about housework, but more about communication.

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    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    ^lol, the grass is always greener.

    Anyway, it seems unreasonable to think that you can clean your entire house...every day, especially with 2 kids.

    I have found that setting days for certain things helps break it down, like Monday is change sheets day, Tuesday is mopping, Wenesday and Sunday vaccuming and laundry, Thursday dusting, you get the idea.

    If the house still takes too long to green, maybe make it smaller? No,. I dont mean bulldoze rooms, but I know most families always have at least one room (or more) that they never use unless company is coming. Some families will actually gate or rope it off, others just have a standing "dont use" rule. That way, the room stays clean and uncluttered, and a quick dusting/airing will prepare it for company.

    That could cut down on a lot of your work.

  5. #5
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    Why exactly aren't your husband and kids pitching in? Don't they live there too?

  6. #6
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Why exactly aren't your husband and kids pitching in? Don't they live there too?
    Thats what I was thinking. HE'S making most of the mess and expecting HER to spend all day every day cleaning up after him?? Umm...hell no. He needs to start being less messy and/or cleaning up after himself. If the kids are old enough..they need to do chores too. You shouldnt have to do everything all by yourself.

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    Senior Member Indira's Avatar
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    I agree with Kandie Kitten. Also, I used to clean everyroom top to bottom. I could never understand why my house looked so messy when I knew that I was cleaning all the time. My friend taught me to 'tidy' every room so that when a person walks in it is neat and tidy to the eye. If you have time later, then you go back and do the detail work. That you can break up into certain days like kittie kandy said. Also, you should time yourself. Tell yourself for example by such and such time I'll have the livingroom clean. That helps u stay on track.

    Most importantly, STAY OFF SW! LMOA. I should be cleaning right now, my house is a wreck with 2 kids, dog, cat and I have been busy outside the house for the last 2 days. Damn, Damn,Damn this website....it is so addicting. Mabye I'll read just 'one' more thread before I start cleaning...............

    Oh yeah....and a messy husband

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    Banned jasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Why exactly aren't your husband and kids pitching in? Don't they live there too?
    My kids are 10 mos and 4 yrs. Not much they can do. My hubby would help on the weekends, but that's the only time we really get to spend any time together, so I hate the idea of wasting it. He gets home around 6 or so, and has another 4-5 hours of work to do every evening.

    I think I'm going to try assigning certain days to each task. And I definitely over clean everything, I'd never thought of it that way, but I guess I do need to work more on the straightening up and less on the scrubbing.

    I've already talked to him about helping out with the little things. He really couldn't argue with that one, because after my C-section he offered to get me a glass of water and walked in the kitchen and looked around with this confused expression because he didn't know where the glasses were. I laughed at him for weeks over that one. (I HAD a maid then, so it was funny.)

    I told him during luch a few minutes ago that I'm only giving this about 2 weeks and if I'm going nuts like before, I'm starting interviewing. It's just not worth the stress!

  9. #9
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    Your four-year-old is definitely old enough to learn respect for his own environment, so I hope s/he's at least putting toys away and helping to make the bed. Making the bed with the child will probably take a little bit longer at first, but it's a teaching opportunity and instills the whole "we all live here so we all help out" ethic. As the children get older they can take on more responsibility.

    If your husband doesn't have time to clean and you do, that's understandable, but he shouldn't be trashing the place. It takes just as long to put his dirty clothes in the hamper as it takes to throw them onto the floor. If he uses a glass, he can put it in the dishwasher instead of the sink. These little things add up to a lot when it comes to keeping the place neat. I'd bet that whatever messes he's causing are mostly things he could keep up with as he goes if you ask him to have some respect for his home and the work you do to maintain it.

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    Banned jasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Your four-year-old is definitely old enough to learn respect for his own environment, so I hope s/he's at least putting toys away and helping to make the bed. Making the bed with the child will probably take a little bit longer at first, but it's a teaching opportunity and instills the whole "we all live here so we all help out" ethic. As the children get older they can take on more responsibility.

    If your husband doesn't have time to clean and you do, that's understandable, but he shouldn't be trashing the place. It takes just as long to put his dirty clothes in the hamper as it takes to throw them onto the floor. If he uses a glass, he can put it in the dishwasher instead of the sink. These little things add up to a lot when it comes to keeping the place neat. I'd bet that whatever messes he's causing are mostly things he could keep up with as he goes if you ask him to have some respect for his home and the work you do to maintain it.
    I do have my son help with his toys, but I never thought of making his own bed. I'll see how he does at that, cause he loves to help fold laundry.

    As for the hubby we just had a long talk about picking up after himself. I would actually do the hula if he managed to get a glass in the sink. Hell, if it went in the dishwasher I'd probably have a stroke.

    Sadly, I know I caused most of the problems myself. I thought it was really cool to be all Martha Stewart for a while and spoil the shit out of everyone.

    Untill, I had our 2nd son it was easy, but I've been struggling since the little one was born (and that was with a maid). My husband actually used to be really self-sufficient, and know I feel like I've broken him or something. I mean it's pretty bad when your guy can't find a glass in his own home.

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    Banned jasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    Quote Originally Posted by ColetteCalahan View Post
    ... not to sound inconsiderate, but i WISH i had your problems. Let's trade 'houses' for a day and see how you feel after that. My 'house' is a studio where the twin bed takes up most of the space available. I'll happily clean your house.

    That said, sounds like you and hubby need to have a talk about dividing responsibilities and getting the kids to help out more. I don't think this is really about housework, but more about communication.
    I understand where your coming from. We lived in a tiny 1 bdrm apartment for 4 years while saving for our downpayment. Sorry if I came across as whiny. I know I'm pretty spoiled, I really do, but it is a lot of work trying to keep it up. I know lots of other women do it, but like I told my husband when we got married, I'm not the best housekeeper and never will be. I do great for short periods of time, then I'm back to being messy.

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    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    That's a really big house to clean, especially if you have kids or other responsibilities. You should keep searching for a better maid, and check their references.

  13. #13
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    In the meantime Jasmine, serious check out flylady.net. She even has a 1 month day by day guide to getting your house in order.

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    Banned jasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    Quote Originally Posted by BrunetteGoddess View Post
    In the meantime Jasmine, serious check out flylady.net. She even has a 1 month day by day guide to getting your house in order.
    Thanks! I'm going to check out that link. I've gotta do something. Apparently I'm in the middle of one of my slob phases.

  15. #15
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    LOL, me too! R is on a job interview, so I have promised to clean up the house, but I haven't started! I just don't have the motivation!

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    Banned jasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    Quote Originally Posted by BrunetteGoddess View Post
    LOL, me too! R is on a job interview, so I have promised to clean up the house, but I haven't started! I just don't have the motivation!
    I'm a horrible procrastinater and am lacking motivation as well. If I know my hubby is gonna be home at 6 I'll wait till 5 or even 5:30 to start. I'm not sure why I wait. I TRY to start earlier, but I find like about a thousand other things to do.... Like play on SW.

  17. #17
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    Quote Originally Posted by jasmine View Post
    I'm a horrible procrastinater and am lacking motivation as well. If I know my hubby is gonna be home at 6 I'll wait till 5 or even 5:30 to start. I'm not sure why I wait. I TRY to start earlier, but I find like about a thousand other things to do.... Like play on SW.
    Yeah...me too. It doesnt help that I'm easily distracted so I do 54 things half assed because in the middle of it I see something else that needs to be done and so on...

    I'm trying though. Hubby cleaned the house from top to bottom when I was in LA and I'm doing my best to keep it that way. Thankfully..he didnt marry me for my housekeeping skills!

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    Banned jasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    Yeah...me too. It doesnt help that I'm easily distracted so I do 54 things half assed because in the middle of it I see something else that needs to be done and so on...

    I'm trying though. Hubby cleaned the house from top to bottom when I was in LA and I'm doing my best to keep it that way. Thankfully..he didnt marry me for my housekeeping skills!
    Same here! If he gets mad over it I'll just take my top off. Works every time.

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    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    as a mom of a 9, 6 and 4 yr old, i know what 4 yr olds can do. here's some tips.

    4 yr olds LOVE to help!! HARNESS THAT!

    my 4 yr old (just barely 4) can put the kids cups and bowls in their "drawer", they have a large drawer on the bottom for their plastic things so i don't have to get them a cup when they want water, they can get it themselves.

    also a 4 yr old can clear off the table and bring the dishes to the sink. they can rinse the dishes for you to put in the dishwasher, they can also put the utensils in the diswhasher.

    they can wipe off tables and counters, give them a spray bottle (we use earth friendly non toxic stuff, so i feel safe give her those) and a rag to wipe things off. she also loves to wash the windows....hell, she even cleans my poles and mirrors at my studio! lol

    they can wipe any surface, be it the fridge, cupboards, etc... get a swiffer mop, the handles come in pieces and you make the handle kid size, let em mop the floor! they love that!

    they can fold laundry, not perfect, but my daughter loves to fold washcloths, they can also hang their clothes on kid hangers. they love to load the washer, let em do it!

    give rewards for this, like a star chart, at the end of the week, they can cash in an allowance for all their hard work, they say a dollar for each year of age, but my daughter is happy with 1 or 2 dollars.





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  20. #20
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    Quote Originally Posted by jasmine View Post
    Same here! If he gets mad over it I'll just take my top off. Works every time.
    LOL..yeah..theres no trouble I can possibly cause with hubby that a good BJ wont fix!! Screw cleaning..I'll stick to my strong points!

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    Banned jasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    ^^ Oh my Gosh! That's a lot of stuff. I'm lucky to get my little guy to pick up some of his toys, or throw his empty juice pouch in the garbage. I think maybe I baby him too much at times. I'm going to try having him help with some of the things suggested, even if he doesn't do real well it will keep him occupied and keep him from making messes while I'm cleaning.

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    Featured Member Corey's Avatar
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    Is your husband the breadwinner?

    I have the same problem. I hate cleaning!! But, my place is not nearly as large as yours. My husband is really messy as well. He will put things in the dishwasher, but he never cleans up after himself.

    I try to understand that he is the breadwinner and works longer hours than I do. But it is still frustrating.

    I live in an awesome area and would rather much be at the beach than cleaning up after his shit!

    When he used to go on long business trips, I kept the place looking fairly decent. Go figure?
    (Formerly known as 'Korina')

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    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    yeah, it's a lot, but she doesn't do it everyday. it's really only one or two things a day.

    with the rest of my kids, i make it a race

    me: "i bet you can't get that room clean in 10 minutes"
    boys: "nuhuh, i bet we can"
    me: "i don't know, i don't think it can be done"
    boys: "oh yeah, WATCH US!"
    me: "ok, ready.....set.....GO!"

    BWAHAHAHAHA *evil laugh
    give my 2 boys a challenge like that and they're all over it hahaha!

    Quote Originally Posted by jasmine View Post
    ^^ Oh my Gosh! That's a lot of stuff. I'm lucky to get my little guy to pick up some of his toys, or throw his empty juice pouch in the garbage. I think maybe I baby him too much at times. I'm going to try having him help with some of the things suggested, even if he doesn't do real well it will keep him occupied and keep him from making messes while I'm cleaning.





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    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    im with you jas
    I finally hired merry maids, they are efficient and affordable and if they don't do a good job or something is wrong they will come back and fix it.
    Honestly it has been a life saver for me
    Hubby tries harder to keep it clean after they have been here too, we both like a clean house but if its already messy its easier to make it messier, if its clean we try and keep it clean as long as possible.
    I originally thought i'd just have the maids for the end of my pregnancy but screw that, 100 bucks is totally worth my sanity!



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  25. #25
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: OMG! Fired the maid, gonna have to clean the WHOLE house myself!

    Honestly, he is the only one working, right? So them, ya, it is your job to do the houskeeping and cleaning. That said, if it's within your means, hire someone.

    Maybe make a compromise, hire someone for 3 hours, 2x a week, and do the rest of it yourself. Someone on another forum said "you can clean the world, 15 minutes at a time"

    it's very true.

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