I agree with all of this.
Also, I believe there are clubs that cater to trans in SF...just putting that out there.
As a tall woman (I'm only 5'9"), I get men in the club (especially in SF, because we're like the alternative lifestyle capital of the world, I guess) who ask me if I was a man before. And they're serious!! So, just be prepared that in heels you may get those types of questions.
This is where I shuffle around awkwardly and try to say thank you but just end up turning beet red instead.
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Like you have no idea.
Well, I am often in vans and more often down by rivers?
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Seriously everyone, thank you very much. I am not really sure what I can say other than thank you. It has been awkward and difficult trying to figure everything out and even though my IRL friends have all been supportive none of it has been able to sink in. But sitting down and posting it out and hearing what everyone here on SW has to say really sticks for some reason, and it has also really helped me realize and recognize things that I must have been ignoring unconsciously in favor of staying safe in my not tryingness.
Not a word.
Tryingness.
But yeah, you all rule. I am officially a lifetime fan of SW now.
Ima go curl up in bed with my rottie now and sleeeeep. Thank you all, again.
I might be saying that a lot for a little while.
It can be difficult to make a recently single man pay for sex when he knows that a quick trip to the local watering hole would secure at least one hard drunken tumble for far less cash. It is even more difficult when he is something of a dead ringer for James Bond as played by Daniel Craig and possesses the sort of awkard charm and confidence that brands a man like him as a lady killer.
- Daisy Loveless, Serving Lunch Weblog




I used to work with a M to F trans. Most guys didnt know unless one the jealous bitches pointed it out to them. That girl knew how to reel em in! I always felt she had better insight to the male mind, so you may be at an advantage sales-wise.
U already have performance experience, so I dont know why u should run into probs again...I certainly hope that isnt the only club in your area in case things dont work out. U have as good a chance as anyone else, imo.
While there may be "tranny venues" out there, you may not be "trannyish" enough as they usually cater to the preop fetishists. I thought i read that youre a pro-domme...its a good line of work for transexuals who dont want to get into straight up prostitution. If you start to get comfy with SC custies, it may be good to market domination to the viable ones. I do it all the time.
just do it.
BTW you have a great body...im about to steal my pre-op girlfriend's hormones so i can get boobs like yours! lol
...She just told me I'll just grow hair in strange places...oh well.
I'm getting my Dial-A-Stripper service up and running again. If you are in NYC or NJ and are interested in private party dancing, email [email protected] with your SW handle, contact info, photo (if you have one) & best time to call and I'll get back to you asap.
If you're having a party and need strippers, email me with the details and any questions you have. Thanks!




I went to a club last night where the dancers were male and most of the customers were gay guys. The trans there are funny and cute and were signing autographs. They do pretty cool shows. It's in Detroit, however. But if you're ever in that area, it's called Gigi's.





i don't have any advice that hasn't already been said. i -do- want to back the "don't tell anyone" thing unless you're in a trans friendly club. i would say, don't even do the "confirm nor deny" thing.. just deny deny deny. i wish it wasn't that way, but there are too many very angry people in the world.
also, i think you're awesome. it takes a lot of balls (wooo puns!) to go through with the transition. i have two M2F friends and i know all the work that goes into the process.
Most dancers have to hide a part of ourselves to be marketably attractive to the Joe Publics who come to the bars. If we're smart, we may hide it so we're not too intimidating. If we're married or not attracted to men, we hide those things so customers will think they have a chance with us. If you want to be attractive to the average customer, you'll probably have to hide your trans-ocity. (And your brains, and your politics, and other things, too, probably.)
Sometimes it's irritating to have to hide so much of yourself. But it can also be fascinating, and you will probably learn a lot from it.
Before the BA some customers would walk in and see me on stage and ask if I was a guy (or if we were a gay club)...Well becuz I had a GI fade and had a very slender frame, narrow hips, that was built str8 up and down. I was used to passing in my everday life and I even do drag, but I was naked and I am not a woman by operation (I'm a butch lesbian). However I wasn't confused w/ a MTF I was just thought of as the gay twinkie that should be dancing at LeBare or the gay male clubs that they have in Lauderdale.
I personally would much rather be a male dancer dancing for gayman cuz that's where the money is at and I like gaymen 1000 times more then str8men(in general). Anyhow I thought it was dumb for them to read my masculinity or hairstyle as male when obviously I had no dick-(which is why I never applied at a gaymale strip joint even though my friends thought I should as a preop FTM even though I'm not cuz as a dragking I had a large gaymale following that thought of me as such)-but my point is even though it was only a few some customers knew I wasn't like the girlie girls. Now after the BA and I grew my hair and put on more weight on my legs/have some curves to my body i don't get that and only sometimes they figure out I'm gay. Still I can clearly see you are a postop MTF maybe as I know and can spot the differences since I got gaydar, know many trannies, worked with dragqueens ect. So being I can see it I assume other will while many won't.
Things that helped dragqueen pass as tricks of the trade i was taught was big hair/ear rings, gloves, ectr might help but unless you want to look like a queen avoid the heavy makeup and flashy campy jewelry that even makes str8 women look like drags queens in my book.
I do think dancing for str8 men at a stripclub is a hard 2 begin w exspecailly if you are GLBT, but I've heard of several trans MTF dancers who do so. Good luck to you.
"Happiness does not depend on material things, but on having others pay for them"
"Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition"
Add Me To Your MySpace Friend's List
Heh. Yeah I think just having a boyfriend for the first time ever in my life is already teaching me plenty about that. I cannot believe he asked me if I knew what a goddamned centimeter was...
As for hair stuff, UV69 ... definitely no big hair for me. Unless I do everything I can to control it the stupid black mess just poofs out everywhere. It is very frustrating, but I inherited it from my mother so I guess I have to like it. But I usually get the most compliments from friends and strangers alike when I tie it back kind of tight and let some of the too-short-to-be-tailed parts hang down along the sides of my face. Otherwise it is curled and waving and sticking out and bleeeeeeeh it sometimes makes me want to cut it all off. But I will not. Best friend would yell at me. And chase me with sharp things.
Heh.
It can be difficult to make a recently single man pay for sex when he knows that a quick trip to the local watering hole would secure at least one hard drunken tumble for far less cash. It is even more difficult when he is something of a dead ringer for James Bond as played by Daniel Craig and possesses the sort of awkard charm and confidence that brands a man like him as a lady killer.
- Daisy Loveless, Serving Lunch Weblog




Preach it, Grace.
This is something I struggled with when I was dancing... being genderqueer was still an elephant in the room for me. My whole dance persona was built around being the refreshingly honest girl with nothing to hide. I didn't hide my politics or my brains. In the end, wanting to explore my masculine side was most of the reason I stopped dancing. It was the one thing I couldn't reconcile or show off as a quirk.
Now I'm at peace with that, and weirdly, being at peace with it makes me more comfortable about anything and everything else I'll be hiding away in my dance persona, when I return. I feel like... I've adjusted to the idea that dancing is a game, that I can tell a few porky pies while I'm out there if they fit with the marketing image, because it is a game, because, to borrow an Ani DiFranco line,
now everything is cross-marketing / it's about sunglasses and shoes / or guns and drugs, you choose.
And the time before, I was interested in breaking expectations, and I think I took that as far as I could possibly go with it. I feel like I don't have anything to fear from people's expectations any more, so I can take it the other way now and see if I can play with them, be content in everyone thinking I'm a normal girl when in my head and in my history I'm not either of those things exactly...
Onward and upward.
I am taking the advice of a few people here and looking for cocktailing/waitressing work first. Made a few phone calls and tonight I am going to be popping on over to a few of the Denver clubs to look for that sort of work and stuff. Diamond Cabaret, La Boheme, PT's Showclub and Oasis Cabaret are on the list for tonight. HOPEFULLY something productive will come from this! But if not I guess it will at least be an interesting club hopping experience and all that, and there are plenty of other clubs to follow up with also.
If I did not have to pick someone up from Bustop after her side of the club closes I would probably close it out at a queer bar but no such luck tonight. Anywise, there it is for now.
It can be difficult to make a recently single man pay for sex when he knows that a quick trip to the local watering hole would secure at least one hard drunken tumble for far less cash. It is even more difficult when he is something of a dead ringer for James Bond as played by Daniel Craig and possesses the sort of awkard charm and confidence that brands a man like him as a lady killer.
- Daisy Loveless, Serving Lunch Weblog
Please please please just work at a club in Denver and tell No One that you are Trans! No One you work with, No Custies, No One! It's too damned dangerous. People are ignorant fucks. Boulder is a college town with frat boys that venture out to the Bus Stop from time to time....if it's floating around there already that you're Trans-don't kid yourself, something fucked up could happen to you there. You could be hurt when you leave, when you're coming in....any time....even if you're just working as a cocktail waitress. People are hyper-reactive freaks if they imagine that their sexuality has been threatened (esp. their "macho-ness" in front of the other man-tards). Add alcohol to the mix and it can get deadly.
That being said- You look great, I wouldn't have guessed in a million years if you hadn't said it yourself (nice boobs, btw). It takes a special kind of woman to have the guts to go through all that you have! That's a lot of strength.
If you live in Boulder....Oasis would be an easy drive for you, the cash isn't the best in town, but they don't give a fuck about tattoos; and they'll play whatever music you like. Not necessarily a bad place to get the hang of things. Nights are best for sure.
La Bo- Dunno about tattoos anymore....they didn't care a few months back, but with the new owners....no idea. Young, obnoxious crowd, but if you can work those people; you'll do well.....days are dead from what I hear.
Diamond- No clue, lemme know what you think of the place.





Kit : Agreed !
Keep in mind that you are in an environment where people get drunk and ( lets be honest ) are sometimes doing drugs , so keep safety as a primary concern. People do dumb things when they are messed up on these substances and you don't need to be involved .
I really wish you had left your pic up!
And I wish even more we could do a double-Domme session together!
I think Oasis would be your best choice. It's the closest club to The Bustop (besides NITRO) & it's a good place for newbies.
Just DON"T let ANYONE know your "secret" for many, many different reasons.
Besides, you look incredible. You could walk into my club & I would just see another HOTT girl.
Best of luck Rebbecca![]()
Don't tell them you're trans!!! It's none of their business!! I mean, if you got the surgery and are living your life as a female, that is what you are!! You didn't go through all that for nothing. Also, people can be really opposed to trans, and it could get ugly, and there's really no point in risking it. I understand that you're proud of being trans, but I think you should focus more on being proud to be a woman, because this is what you wanted to accomplish after all! You look like a female to me (I saw your pics in another thread (not stalking or anything-lol)) so go with it. You should audition there again since the manager is so nice, but if things don't work out there, you should audition elsewhere, and don't feel like you have to tell them all of your personal business!! FUCK THEM!!
Well I think we are all agreed there.Dont tell anyone
It can be difficult to make a recently single man pay for sex when he knows that a quick trip to the local watering hole would secure at least one hard drunken tumble for far less cash. It is even more difficult when he is something of a dead ringer for James Bond as played by Daniel Craig and possesses the sort of awkard charm and confidence that brands a man like him as a lady killer.
- Daisy Loveless, Serving Lunch Weblog





I second this. Most managers will not hire you if you tell them you used to be a man because they dont want to get the reputation that there are transsexual people working there as it will put most customers off. I have nothing against it myself but I know at my work there was some controversy over this one girl and customers kept bringing it up all the time. I dont even know wherher she was trans or not, I really have no idea. But one customer said one nnight that if she came up to him he would bash her. So do be careful coz there really are still some men very homophobic about it.
Most men come to strip clubs to see women who were born women. I really dont mean this offensively to you but it is the truth. Most men would also be very upset to find out they had a lap dance of a trans and subsquently got a massive hard on tooI could even imagine they might complain to management and then it would get very hard for u to work there.
So I wouldn't tell management, don't tell ANY of your co workers either coz they might use it against you (remember they are your competition) and dont tell customers.
There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.
Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.





Rebecca :
Did you get your coctail waitressing job you were going for?
Just out of curiosity, do you have a feminine voice? This may be a giveaway when you are talking to customers. When applying for a job, a male name may also by a giveaway, and many places require an ID.
Also, are you on hormones? How does one's body change from male to female? Just curious...
carmen_b: so far nothing has come of anything. pts showclub looked promising since both the manager and the girl at the door seemed pretty positive about talking with me, and they both seemed really enthused by the fact that i could work any schedule that they gave me. but nothing came of that in the end either, which is disappointing. on the plus side there are still other clubs though it occured to me that i should maybe wait since i am travelling again for the month of may and looking for a job when i would have to take off an entire month just two or three weeks later might not look so good.
meh. this should be easier than it is.
modlgrl: my voice, my voice, my voice. it tips some people off and others never even notice. like someone might know as soon as i say hello, while another would have no idea even after hearing me sing 'mother' by danzig in a low bass register. basically my natural voice is one of those things about me that is really flexible: if someone sees me and really sees a woman they will continue to see a woman despite the voice, if a person sees me and has doubts it may confirm those doubts. i would work on it but everytime i try it just ends up sounding squeakie in my opinion and it does not have as much 'life' in it if that makes any sense.
as for everything else you asked about ... all forms of identification say 'emily' and that includes my birth certificate which even says 'female' on it now. the state of california is really freakin awesome about that sort of stuff. and yeah, hormones plus some surgery is pretty much the standard route though the only elective surgery i have had has been 'down below' to deal with the original factory equipment as well as some minor rhinoplasty (which i partially regret) that happened to be convenient due to a deviated septum. everything else is just hormones pretty much.
It can be difficult to make a recently single man pay for sex when he knows that a quick trip to the local watering hole would secure at least one hard drunken tumble for far less cash. It is even more difficult when he is something of a dead ringer for James Bond as played by Daniel Craig and possesses the sort of awkard charm and confidence that brands a man like him as a lady killer.
- Daisy Loveless, Serving Lunch Weblog





Keep in mind too that to waitress, you will have to speak LOUD ( you know that already , but it might be a change if you feminize your voice by speaking softly) .
And ..... on a side note , what' was your vibe of PT's when you visited ?
oh, im good at speakin loud.
as PT's went... it seemed okay. i didnt really spend any time inside the club proper, but the woman who was working the door was totally awesome and i got the feeling that the management (the scottish one) and at least some of the male staff were all pretty cool. i know i felt comfortable there.
in retrospect: they were actually being really receptive about me being a waitress there until they found i had no waitressing experience. like, there was no blow off or anything happening. so maybe that is a good sign that i should just go back there in june and see if i cant audition and dance there instead. hmmmm.
Last edited by RebeccaSolidarity; 04-13-2008 at 02:07 AM.
It can be difficult to make a recently single man pay for sex when he knows that a quick trip to the local watering hole would secure at least one hard drunken tumble for far less cash. It is even more difficult when he is something of a dead ringer for James Bond as played by Daniel Craig and possesses the sort of awkard charm and confidence that brands a man like him as a lady killer.
- Daisy Loveless, Serving Lunch Weblog
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