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Thread: Mother in Law

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    Featured Member la429's Avatar
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    Default Mother in Law

    So it's that time of year again. My boyfriends Mom is coming to stay with us for 6 weeks. It should be pretty traumatizing. She doesn't speak English and just wants to smoke and drink coffee everyday. It's pretty frustrating because that's means no more lying around in my underwear, hanging all of stripper clothes out to dry and etc... Plus my boyfriend is always trying to push me to hang out with her during the day which really sucks since we just sit there in silence. So one more week of freedom!

  2. #2
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: Mother in Law

    I'm sorry

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    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mother in Law

    That sounds horrible. Good luck with it!



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  4. #4
    cameron_keys
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    I'd work dayshifts while shes here to get yourself out of the house. It's HIS mom...let HIM spend time with her. What are you supposed to do if you cant even communicate with each other??

  5. #5
    buffie06
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    I had to read that to my man she sounds exactly like his mom! She speaks butchered english and is always smoking and as soon as she comes over "YOu make the coffee?" Im used to her now, but 6 weeks? Dont think I could handle 6 hours , good luck!

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    Default Re: Mother in Law

    What language does she speak? Perhaps your SO could teach you some basic phrases?

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    beauty21queen
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    wow 6 weeks. That sucks.I get really nervous when my mother in law stays because I feel I need to have the house really clean and constanly be doing something.

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    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mother in Law

    Quote Originally Posted by StrawberrySwitchblade View Post
    What language does she speak? Perhaps your SO could teach you some basic phrases?
    that's a very good idea!

    or maybe there's some cultural/ethnic (what's her nationality/ethnicity/language?) place you can take her so she feels more "at home".

    or maybe a library or bookstore or movie rental stuff. for example, when my grandmother visits we try to get her chinese soap operas, movies, and books so she can read/watch them during the day.

    but it really annoys her since she's spanish.

    just kidding.

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    Featured Member AmazingKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mother in Law

    6 weeks?!?!

    Thats insane. Its really generous of you to let her stay with you that long. If theres nothing you can do about it I would just avoid the house as much as possible, shes his problem.

    I like the idea of learning a few phrases to communicate with her though. I think it shows you care and have interest in forging a relationship with her, but thats about all I'd do. I love my bfs mom but I don't think I could handle her in that capacity, it would be just a lot of awkward silence.

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    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mother in Law

    I had the exact same situation except it was my roommate's mom from Jordan. I felt really uncomfortable and tried to avoid her but the mom was cool. Even though there was a language and culture barrier the mom always made an effort to say hi to me and be friendly, and in the end she was the reason my roommate didn't kick me out when she went off her depression meds and went psycho.

    Hang in there!

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    Default Re: Mother in Law

    Quote Originally Posted by la429 View Post
    So it's that time of year again. My boyfriends Mom is coming to stay with us for 6 weeks. It should be pretty traumatizing. She doesn't speak English and just wants to smoke and drink coffee everyday. It's pretty frustrating because that's means no more lying around in my underwear, hanging all of stripper clothes out to dry and etc... Plus my boyfriend is always trying to push me to hang out with her during the day which really sucks since we just sit there in silence. So one more week of freedom!
    Ironically, she might respect you more if you just be yourself just like she is being herself and wear what you want. I mean I do understand you not wanting her to know about your job but I'd almost wear my underwear and a t-shirt out in front of her when she was smoking to let her know that if she wasn't going to respect my surroundings then why should I respect hers.

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    Featured Member southstbabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mother in Law

    6 weeks! No way no how!

    Didn't Benjamin Franklin say "Houseguests, like fish, begin to smell after three days"

    I can't stand my mother in law for a weekend.

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    Featured Member mercedez's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mother in Law

    wow 6 weeks....is a long time.....Ill keep you in my thoughts and prayers...

  14. #14
    cameron_keys
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    Believe it or not...in laws CAN be gotten along with! My father in law lived with us for the first 2 years we were married until he passed away. We def. had our arguments..esp near the end when he was so sick he was basically losing his mind...but overall, I wouldnt have changed it for the world. He treated me more like a daughter then my own father does, and I loved him like a dad.

    The language barrier is difficult, but if you get along otherwise...try to learn her language...and maybe teach her yours? Maybe you could bond that way...teach each other. Then you wont have to worry about making conversation because you have two whole languages to talk about. Rent movies with subtitles, get some teaching books(I think someone here teaches English as a Second Language...but I forget who...if you do can you maybe recommend some material for her?)

    You may find the 6 weeks flying by.

    If not...well..take my first suggestion earlier in the thread!

  15. #15
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Mother in Law

    Yeah, take the opportunity to learn a language! What language does she speak?

    And OH HELL NO on the smoking in the house. One of the first phrases you learn in her language needs to be: "If you have to smoke, please go outside. We don't smoke in the house here."

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    Featured Member la429's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mother in Law

    So it's Day 2!!! I'm still alive and haven't packed my stuff and ran out yet... Everything seems to be going fine but I guess because they are European (no offense to anyone) she doesn't throw TP away. She throws in the waste basket in the bathroom. I had this problem with him when we first moved in and I yelled and argued with him about the reason they call it TOILET paper. Too bad I can't do that with her. I guess I'm going to have to make him do it. Oh yeah and she leaves the cap off my juice.
    4 more weeks to go!!

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    Default Re: Mother in Law

    I remember a skit Bob Hope had when I was a kid--he was stuck in a cave and struggling to push a giant boulder out of the way, and he said "this is like trying to get your mother-in-law out of the house."

    This is a tough one. As usual, Cam has great advice in suggesting finding ways to challenge yourself and get through it and try and find the positive in it. That can make many tough things easier. And remember also that in the end it is your home, your space, so you have to look after your own needs--if you don't want cigarette smoke in there you can, as Yek says, draw the line on that one. There's nothing worse than trying to sleep around cigarette smoke if you're not a smoker.

    I hope the time will go fast. Godspeed.
    JK Jim

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    Featured Member la429's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mother in Law

    Well regarding the whole smoking thing. Since I don't pay the rent my SO has told me that unless I want to start paying he should be allowed to smoke in the apartment. I guess that means his Mother too. He has extended me some courtesy and refrains from smoking in the bedroom. Well on a good note she did make me lunch today.

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    Default Re: Mother in Law

    Hi la429,

    I don't want to create more stress here--you've got enough now, by far, but I have to say that it doesn't seem fair that just because you're not paying rent you have to breathe in a lot of smoke--it seems to me your health should be a priority to your SO as well. If it gets bad enough, my instinct would be to simply stay elsewhere until the mother is gone--you could make visits to them and keep your civility, but it may not be a bad signal to send that you're not completely at peace with the situation as it stands.

    I also wouldn't fall into the rationalization that many of these things are because they are European. I am from a European family, and to be honest with you much of the behavior you're talking about here is foreign to me. I would judge the situation on whether they are being considerate or not to you, regardless of where they come from.

    Hope things get better for you.
    JK Jim

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    Featured Member la429's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mother in Law

    So I wanted to update. It's almost like 4 weeks now and we are still all alive! It's pretty annoying at this point but it's almost over. She has LOTS of annoying habits but I suppose I do too! Now the clincher is he just told me his wild 23 year old sister is coming for 2 weeks on Christmas. Next guy will have no family.... lol

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    Default Re: Mother in Law

    I'm glad to hear the news that it is coming to a close! Hope you've survived it okay!

    I think that you should tell SO that you have some wild cousins you haven't told him about who need to stay with you, and then get some of us at SW to act out the parts. We would probably be able to get you in a strong position to negotiate no more family visits in no time!
    JK Jim

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