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Thread: Breastfeeding is so hard

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    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Breastfeeding is so hard

    First of all I know how important it is for her to get my milk.
    I want her to have it.
    Its just so hard sometimes.
    I've been blessed with pretty much the perfect baby, she is extremely well mannered, sleeps well, is pleasant when she is awake and only cries when she's hungry and when we are breast feeding.

    Problem 1. My boobs are HUGE!!! I mean HUGE HUGE HUGE, They are so big that before I can even start to feed her i must pump at least an oz out of each one just to give her some slack to latch on to.

    Problem 2. The major problem is her latch, I don't have the most sticky outty nipples, pumping helps draw them out but i still have to pinch the sides really flat to allow her to latch on. (this tires me out and gets uncomfortable) Once she gets on she takes a couple sucks then pops off, i try and press down by her nose so she can breath but she is still always unlatching. She gets really frustrated when she unlatches and she SCREAMS. I hate hearing her get so hysterical. I know it shouldn't bother me but it really does, then i have to sooth her before we can even try again.
    Pumping then giving her a bottle seems so much easier in some ways but i want to be able to do both breast and bottle (always breastmilk though). She's done great with not getting nipple confused and will take both and a pacifier.

    Problem 3. Once we do get her latched and she's eaten for a while she falls asleep. She looks totally milk drunk and happy when she falls asleep at the boob and its very hard to wake her. So i put her down and 10 minutes later she wants to finish eating. This is making feeding time last an hour or more between pumping, latching, screaming, soothing, and her drunken naps.

    I'm DETERMINED to make this work, like i said i KNOW how important it is, but DAMN it just seems like it should be easier.
    It seems like the most natural thing in the world, just put the baby on the boob and they will eat but man it is so much more complicated.
    I'm going on like zero sleep right now so i hope i've made sense, if anyone has any ideas to make this easier PLEASE share.
    BTW we tried a breast shield and she didn't like it.

    Help please!



    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Tell him that he's a load his mom should have swallowed.

  2. #2
    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    I have no advice because I have NO concept of how breastfeeding works; your post was very informative! (And I love the "milk drunk" expression!) But I do want to say arrrrrg I'm sorry it's such a time- and energy-consuming process and I know it'll get better as she gets older and stronger.

    Someone who actually knows what this is like wanna come in and move me aside please?


  3. #3
    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    I love you sunday!



    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Tell him that he's a load his mom should have swallowed.

  4. #4
    MsQwerty
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    How old is your baby? She sounds young. It can take a while to get the feeding right but it will come. its hard when they fall asleep and then wake again hungry soon after. My son did that sometimes but it doesnt last forever which is the main thing (-:
    Sorry am a tad drunk and tired right now and Im not much help.

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    Member amazonas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    Two thumbs up for you for not giving up, it's one of the best gifts you can give to your baby, and it will benefit her for the rest of her life!
    It is hard, I know, but both of you will soon get a hang of it, I know it must be frustrating for you and the baby, you just need a lot of patience, and soon it will be so natural you won't even have to think about it.
    To avoid the baby falling asleep before she's done eating, try gently pinching her ear o cheek if she is falling asleep, it will wake her up enough to keep nursing until she's full.
    As for the latching, keep doing what you are doing, empty them a little bit before feeding, so they are not so full, she will learn in no time!
    Good luck, don't give up, it will get easier!!!

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    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    It sounds like you're doing everything right!
    Keep in mind it's as much a learning process for the baby as it is the mother.

    It might not be much comfort but... it DOES get better with time.



  7. #7
    ajbaer
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    I've never breastfed, however I've been a nanny and aunt to many a breastfed babe. My sister struggled with the milk drunk thing alot. She started blowing lightly in her babies hair when she would start to snooze. That would get her to finish without sleeping. I can't really help you with the rest, but I have been told (as many have said) that it gets easier.
    Threadjack...I just went to your link Sirona...and LOVE the pictures. Sorry

  8. #8
    God/dess kitty260's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    Well, at least your milk supply came in, so you're already doing a lot better then I did. Seriously, it's a learning curve. Just because it's an instinct don't mean it won't take practice. No matter how tempting it might be some days, don't give up on it. I got frustrated with my non-existent milk supply and quit pumping. Now my daughter has all these intolerances and can only have one very expensive kind of formula....and she doesn't like the taste. I'd rather fight to keep her on the breast then have to jam a bottle down her throat and force feed her, only to have her gag on it and throw it all back up. She cries constantly because she's hungry but she refuses to eat. If I give her normal formula she breaks out in a horrible rash and screams in discomfort. She cries constantly no matter what and unless I can get my milk supply to come back there's no way to stop it. If this doesn't serve as breastfeeding encouragement, I don't know what will. Good luck, girl. It might not seem like it but those engorged breasts means you've won half the battle already.
    \

  9. #9
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    philly, you sound so frustrated, but it also sounds like everything is going pretty normal!! Breastfeeding takes some time, practice and alot, I mean ALOT of patience!! Just keep at it and before you know it, you'll have baby in one arm and be one handed SWing!

    Keep up the good work!!

  10. #10
    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    Kitty that sounds awful, i am so sorry
    I wish i could fed ex you some of my milk, i must have 30 oz in the freezer already.
    I think all this pumping is making me over produce.
    The only upside to that is i'm banking all this milk so i can have someone else take care of her for a night, or if i want a few cocktails i can pump and dump and just give her thawed milk.
    Thanks to everyone for your suggestions
    I'm just gonna keep on keeping on until we get it right!



    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Tell him that he's a load his mom should have swallowed.

  11. #11
    God/dess kitty260's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    I want your milk...and I'm only half joking.

    There's nothing wrong with overproduction, you'll be glad you have it when she hits her first growth spurt. Plus, now you've got massive boobs. Enjoy them. They'll look good in V-neck shirts.
    \

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    Veteran Member Daisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    I can totally feel your pain. I have 3 children and breastfed them all. When you are pregnant you hear about how great nursing your child is but NOBODY ever tells you that it doesn't exactly come naturally. It's a learning process. And it hurts.
    And It's so easy to get down on yourself when having problems nursing because as women we are taught that breastfeeding is something that just "happens."

    Problem 1: there isn't alot that can be done and it sounds as if you are already doing everything you can.

    Problem 2: LIGHTLY brush her mouth with your nipple several times before allowing her to latch. Sounds like teasing, but they will open their mouth wider every time. The key to a successful latch is getting their mouth to open as wide as you can.

    Problem 3: Breastmilk is digested quicker than formula, which is why breastfed babies have to eat more. Since she is falling asleep before finishing her feeding, she is not sleeping as well as she could be and waking up sooner than she should. Also, it sounds like she doesn't have latching on down pat, which will also affect how much milk she is getting during feeding times.

    When you notice that she is about to fall asleep, try stroking her cheek gently. This will activate her sucking instinct, and she should begin feeding again. Do this every time you feel her dropping off. In the end, she will get a full belly and actually finish out her naps.

    I wish you all the luck in the world. If you need anything at all PM me please.
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    Like the other posters have said, it gets easier, with myu first it was about 6 weeks before it stopped hurting, and with my second one about 2 months before she could latch on properly and not gulp down too much air hurting her belly. How old is your bubs?
    I just posted a link on kittys thread to a yahoo group called milk share. It is all about women donating their breastmilk to others whos babies need milk, and the mommies can;t breast feed. they do freeze it and ship it out. Or drive and pick up milk. Maybe you really could help kitty out whilst she works on relactating if you guys are mates... I would do it for a mate if I were I were close enough. Although it could also be a lot of hard work, expressing milk is tiring!!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    i didn't know that was even possible ^^
    Can you seriously share milk??
    I wonder what customs would think
    I'd be open to more details



    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Tell him that he's a load his mom should have swallowed.

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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/MilkShare/

    That is the yahoo group I was talking about. Yes it is totally possible to do so, I guess you would need to know that the donor mother is free from any diseases that could be transmitted through the breast milk, but apart from that women from all sorts of cultures have nursed each others babies, not that long ago the aristocracy often had wet nurses. Women that nursed rich ladies babies as well as their own.

    Hospitals have milk banks where they collect milk from donors for really sick babies, but they do all sorts of things to treat it, which from what I understand takes a lot of the goodness out of it, so the ideal situation would be to get someone who can donate fresh milk. I'm looking into seeing if there is something similar set up in Australia, if I could express enough I think it would be amazing to donate even SOME milk to a baby that really needed it, who was adopted, or whose mother could not breastfeed (like had a mastectomy or something).

    Sorry so rambling on, it is something that I am passionate about. t
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  16. #16
    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    Damn, I didn't know that either! I guess I'd almost expect to see "I want your milk" on a fetish site than a nursing mom site, lol....what does that say about me? Good suggestions here, this is nifty information. I also just thought it just 'happened' and I had no idea of the complications that seem to be absolutely normal. Huh!


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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    Ya know I make a point of telling every pregnant woman i meet who wants to breast feed, it IS hard, but it gets easier. Because noone tells you!! They tell you how its the best thing to do and all that jazz, but they dont warn you that its hard work and it hurts for a it. SO when it is hard work and it does hurt a lot of people think there must be something wrong with them or their babies and go to formula because they are worried their baby will be undernourished. Dammit just tell women the truth, we all know labour hurts and is hard but we are prepared to endure it for the sake of having our babies. I am sure they would be less scared of breastfeeding if they knew it was that way for most people.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    Philly I've been where you are-but blowing on baby girl etc. didn't work to keep her awake-I've even pinched her and splashed cold water on her and only then would she wake up enough. Now she is much better and starting to bite down cause of teeth. grr...time to go to bottle I think. Save that milk btw-I produced enough for twins and now am down to barely enough for her cause I just can't pump enough for her while away makes me sad.
    Just keep trying! (sounds like Dorie from Finding Nemo-"Just keep Swimming..." lol).
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    Featured Member iambonbon05's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    I know my sister really struggled with it. It IS hard, and I wish that was better known. Kudos for being so determined, I think after a couple tries I'd get fed up and pump away.

    If you're interested I heard about some group called La Leche League. I'm not positive that it's national or what exactly it entails but my neighbor was super into it. It's some sort of breastfeeding advocacy group and I'd imagine you'd be able to find a lot of tips on breastfeeding through them.
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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    hi philly i am breastfeeding right now to it is hard but you can do it . My two probalems are sore nipples and i am constanly thirsty oh wait i also leak like crazy it takes a few weeks those symptoms will subside. Keep us updated.

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    God/dess kitty260's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    LOL at the milk fetish comment.

    Yeah, I don't think customs would be cool with shipping breast milk over the border and frankly it would've spoiled by the time it actually got here. I stumbled across milk banks while I was searching for information this afternoon and there's actually quite a few across the country, not just for sick babies but for the elderly and other sick people with poor digestive systems. It's such a good idea!

    No worries, Philly. You'll be fine. The first three months is the hardest in every way.

    I'm going to try out Jasmine's suggestion in my thread by putting Ashlyn on the breast every hour and not giving her anything else to suck on. I'm a little scared to take her suckie away since she loves it so much and breastfeeding her right after birth was a nightmare, but I have to try. We already took my pump to the new place, but I'll dig it out tomorrow when we get there. I'm praying I have better luck with my milk supply this time. Who knows, maybe one day I'll be the one with the freezer full of extra milk that I can donate to sick babies and old folks.
    \

  22. #22
    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    I'm glad you're BFeeding. And it does suck, it is basically all you will do with your daughter for the first few months. But don't worry, your supply will level out to match how much she's eating and how frequently. It is amazing how that happens . Oh if I can offer any advice, lay down to nurse, your back will thank you later. And you can switch sides when she falls asleep - to wake her up.
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  23. #23
    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    everything you're saying sounds totally normally for a baby not even 2 weeks old! lol


    i remember with my first all of those problems, except on top of that, he had sever acid reflux and would VOMIT, not just spit up after every feeding.

    turns out, he was getting too much foremilk and not enough hindmilk, so he was getting the thinner stuff and filling up. i made A LOT of milk, I'm talking i could pump easily 8 oz out of each side and i had overactive letdown, so he would choke.

    remember, you are both STILL LEARNING! give it at least a month or so before giving up to pumping for bottle feeding. plus your body is still trying to figure out how much milk is needed, so it's gonna overproduce at first.

    here's what helped me out for the first 6 weeks....

    i pumped first. i pumped damn near all of my foremilk out so i would let down a couple of times first so he wouldn't choke.

    this also pulls your nipple out.

    i wouldn't use a breast shield unless you have severely inverted nipples.

    when she falls asleep, and the all do, just pop her off and burp her. it will clear the tummy for more milk. also, she won't need as much breast milk per feeding, but will feed often because it digests perfectly. they have growth spurts at about 1 week, 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 2 months and 3 months...so expect some ravenous feedings! lol

    if you have too much milk, look into donating as said above. there are about 10 or so milk banks in the US. i was going to do this, but decided to freeze all of my excess...
    http://www.hmbana.org/


    just relax, it gets much easier! like i said, you're both still learning out to breastfeed, soon enough she'll be a pro!





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    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    Philly I don't know anything about breast feeding but I just wanted to tell you that the pic of your baby in your sig is just gorgeous. She is just a beautiful baby. From me that means alot coz I usually think most newborns are kinda ugly and funny looking. Anyway, I hope the breastfeeding thing get easier soon. It sound like your doing a great job.



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  25. #25
    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Breastfeeding is so hard

    Thanks for all your suggestions!
    And thanks for the compliment PK, I think she is the most beautiful baby in the world but i know i am biased
    We are still plugging away, last night i did all bottles for her middle of the night feedings (with breast milk) and it was much easier on both of us! She didn't get all hysterical and was able to fall right back asleep when she was done, allowing me to sleep as well. My new strategy is all boob all day and bottles of breast milk at night. Slowly but surely we are learning together!
    She is such a little miracle!



    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Tell him that he's a load his mom should have swallowed.

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