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Thread: age limit sisters boyfriend

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    Default age limit sisters boyfriend

    meet my sisters boyfriend the other week for the first time, shes 18 hes 33
    is that a big gap, i struggled with a 24 year old when i was 19
    what was your age limit when 18, and how did it go

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    Featured Member Fawn's Avatar
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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    I was 18 and he was 27 and it was an awful and manipulative relationship.
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    MsQwerty
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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    I went out with a 30 year old when I was 16. One of the best relationships ever! He was very young for his age (he is my inspiration!) It was so much fun. It ended because he was only in Australia for a year but we kept in touch right up until a few years ago.

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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    I met my ex when I was 20 and he was 31. We were together for 6 years. He was emotionally abusive and controlling but I still loved him, I always will actually.
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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    Boys can be stupid at any age. If he's not an asshole with her, and loves her, and treats her right, age doesn't matter.
    hb

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    I'm 21 and refuse to even date men under 30. I dated 40s in my late teens.


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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    ^I agree with Lys and have the same record. My husband is in his late thirties and I'm not even legal to drink yet. And we're very happy.

    Depends on the maturity of the girl.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    ^ Yes definitely! I can handle more mature men and find them much less of a hassle than younger men because I don't want to party, I like a man who knows what he wants, a man who's stable... I don't need some teeny bopping manchild who spends more time popping his collar than asking me how my day was.


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    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    One of my partners is twenty years older than me. We've had a mellow, committed, healthy, equal relationship for almost four years now. :-) Damn, I can't wait to come back home!

    When I was fifteen I was dating twentysomethings.

    When I was eighteen I was dating twenty to thirtysomethings.

    I've always just been innately more compatible with people older than me... In some ways I "grew up old". My earliest influences were books instead of people, and that influenced my life and way of thinking.

    When people tried to take advantage of me, I usually scared them off -- I simply didn't have the kind of lousy boundaries they expected from a teenager. I knew what I wanted and wasn't afraid to say so.

    An abusive relationship is an abusive relationship, regardless of the age, sex, gender, race, and other traits of the participants.

    A good relationship is a good relationship, likewise.

    The difference has to do with boundaries and personalities. If your sister is emotionally in a weak place, and her boyfriend comes on really strong, you have something to be worried about, but the same would be true whether he was sixteen or sixty.
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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    ^^^I think guys take a lot longer to grow up.

  11. #11
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    It's possible that all is well, but it's more likely he's taking advantage of her youth.

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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    It's possible that all is well, but it's more likely he's taking advantage of her youth.
    ITA! The majority of older men who want to date very young women do so because they are easier to manipulate and control. I'm not saying there aren't these perfect, spiritual connections that happen occasionally and are totally independent of age. That just isn't usually the case.

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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by hockeybobby View Post
    Boys can be stupid at any age. If he's not an asshole with her, and loves her, and treats her right, age doesn't matter.
    hb
    I agree with this. I'm sure people are raising eyebrows on his side as well. I mean, if my sister was dating someone that age when she was 18, I'd probably have asked a ton of questions and wanted to meet the guy pronto.

    I don't really what my limit was when I was 18, but it probably 25 or something. When I was 18, I thought 30 was oooooold, lol.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    Personally I changed a lot between 18 through 25, and kept on changing, but it slowed down after that. I definitely feel more mature now then I did at 18. On the other hand when I was 21 I dated a woman who was 32 for about a year. Purely a sexual relationship. I didn't feel taken advantage of. I knew what I was doing.

    There is no absolute rule, but you have to ask, is she the type who has a reached a point where she is makes her choices with eyes wide open, and takes responsibility, or is she still at a stage in her life where you think of her as being easily manipulated, confused, her decisions are not entirely her own, etc. Probably somewhere in the middle, she is more mature than an average 16 year old, but less then your average 25 year old. Because you can't change the guy, but you do have an opportunity to influence her choice here.

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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    It really boils down to how manipulatable she is.

    If she's a mature girl that acts like she's thirty (like me) then a thirty ish man may be a perfect match for her.

    If she acts her age, the type of guy she attracts will not be the best for her.

    Just my two cents.

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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    My best friend in highschool left town at the tender age of 18 to move to Indiana with a 30-something guy. It freaked everyone out, they barely knew each other, but that was over five years ago and they're still living up there together. He's totally a sugar daddy, but in a relationshippy kind of way, like they get along, but he pays for her school, and her BENZ, etc. Plus, he's got tons of famous friends and she sends me videos and pics of her hanging out with bands and stuff all the time. And the guy is best friends with Jonathan Davis of Korn. So now I'm a tad jealous, but I guess it worked out.
    Like I said, when she left, we all thought it was only a matter of time until she called at 3am saying she was being abused or something weird like that, but I guess they're happy. She was mature for the most part, a very intelligent girl, but on the rebound, and that's why I was most worried. So really it depends on maturity of both parties, but in the end, there's not much you can do. She is 18 after all. Hope for the best, and if it's a terrible mistake, maybe she'll learn a good lesson from it.

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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    It's a case by case thing... For every relationship that works between a 18 y/o and a 30 y/o theres another one that will fail miserably or is working for the wrong reasons. Just depends on the two people.

  18. #18
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    If she is happy and he treats her well, then I woudlnt worry.Age is just a number...my parents are 13 years apart and have been married for well over 30 years. You cant judge a relationship SOLELY on the age of the people. Look at everything else before you decide.

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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by jasmine View Post
    ITA! The majority of older men who want to date very young women do so because they are easier to manipulate and control. I'm not saying there aren't these perfect, spiritual connections that happen occasionally and are totally independent of age. That just isn't usually the case.
    I agree.


    I tell my younger sister all the time to wait a while to be in a relationship. Have fun first, enjoy her fun youth, and concentrate on school then worry about settling down with someone after. IMO 18 is too young to be in a relationship.

    I laugh at the stories she has told me about 16 yr. olds in relationships bitching about thier cheating, deadbeat, drug dealing BFs. Ay ay ay. Girls are gonna be bitter as hell so early. That's not good.

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    Featured Member scorpio's Avatar
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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    men don't even become interesting until they turn 30!

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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    i didnt date an older guy at 18, but at 20 i dated a 33 year old. and now i'm 22 and my recent ex is 36.

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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    Quote Originally Posted by cherry_sin View Post
    If she's a mature girl that acts like she's thirty (like me)
    I call bullshit! You are five years old at heart, honey.

  23. #23
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    when I was 16 I was dating a 22yr old. When I was 18 I dated (as in going out to dinner, not relationship) a 31 yr old, a 27 yr old, and a 25 yr old. at 19 I started dating my fiance, who is the closes in age to me of anyone I've dated, he's almost 25, and I'm 20. He's more mature then the oldest men I dated tho, it goes both ways.

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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but here goes.

    Everyone thinks they are mature for their age when they are young. Not implying that no one actually is. Just something to think about.

    Scorpio - I agree, at least to 30yr old women. When I was 18, 30yr old men might have been interesting, but they were disgusting creeps if they wanted to date me.

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    Default Re: age limit sisters boyfriend

    When I was 18 I used to date guys older than me, at the time I thought for sure it was because I was so mature and we had a connection. Now I am 28 my opinion is different.

    I wouldn't bother trying to tell an 18 year old though, why should they listen to me, I wouldn't have!!

    Quite frankly no matter how mature a girl is at 18 there are life experiences that change you as you get older, and I was one of those who had had a LOT of life experience by 18... I dont think there is anything SICK about people dating with such a big age gap but I wouldn't want to be around someone who constantly dated girls at least a decade younger, shows that they are either power trippers or just under developed themselves.

    To the OP, I wouldn't WORRY about my 19 year old sister with a 30 year old BF, unless he was mean. I may have silent opinions but I reckon I would keep them silent.
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