Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 45

Thread: I am SO frustrated!!!!

  1. #1
    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Location
    tampa
    Posts
    1,582
    Thanks
    178
    Thanked 394 Times in 179 Posts

    Default I am SO frustrated!!!!

    Okay, so I am totally pissed off right now, and I need an objective opinion. Tell me if you guys think my being mad is unwarranted...

    My boyfriend is going to school in RI. He's thirty five. I live in FL.. and am 25. We have been together over a year... he moved to RI in August, so we have had a ldr... but I fly up there at least once a month to see him (yeah, he doesn't come down here, but that's a whole 'nother story).

    So, he tells me a couple of days ago that he's going to Foxwoods with his classmates tonight. I'm like, "ok, that sounds fun." Last night, he tells me that it is three women. Three single women. And they invited him to go see Celtic Woman. I know my boyfriend. And I know he is no Celtic Woman fan... but again, beside the point.

    It just seems weird. Three women, inviting my boyfriend to a chick concert. And they are all in their thirties and single. That's what I have a hard time with. And he never asked me how I felt about it... it was just "this is what I'm doing..." I know if the situation were reversed, and I was going out with three single men, while my boyfriend was 1300 miles away, he would be uncomfortable with it. But when I said that, he said he would absolutely be okay with it, because he "trusts" me. And when I expressed that I was bummed out over this (NOT mad, or irritated.. bummed), he got ALL defensive. He made me feel like I am totally out of line for being upset. I told him that I bet most women would be uncomfortable with this situation... and he said that there is no way the average woman wouldn't be okay with this.

    So, am I over-reacting?? This really bothers me. Ladies... gentlemen...? How would you feel if your SO was 1300 miles away, and going out with three single people of the opposite sex.

    Oh.. and to make matters worse.. they are going to this swanky restaurant, where he is buying, and the bill will probably be a minimum of $250 bucks... yet, he is SO cheap with me. I mean, really cheap (he has a 6 figure income, btw).

    so, thoughts?

  2. #2
    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    1,880
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 33 Times in 23 Posts

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    That would definitely not sit right with me either. Wtf is he that cheap with you, but has no problem taking three other bitches out to eat? If he's in a relationship with you, then he should only take care of YOU, not other single women. I think you should re-evaluate this whole long distance thing, good luck!

  3. #3
    Featured Member DJ Machismo's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Centerville, OH
    Posts
    953
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    Are you sure this guy isn't using you?
    Guy #1: I'd totally hit that.
    Guy #2: Dude, I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England.

  4. #4
    Senior Member confrontingmydemons's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Fondle My Crack, WI
    Posts
    140
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    I know I would be, at the least, questioning everything in the relationship.. That, and I'd make him work a little harder for "it".. But that's just me. Maybe there's a reason why I'm perpetually single!*shrugs*
    If you are timid enough to stop at what is natural, then nature will elude your grasp forever.

    Marquis de Sade

  5. #5
    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Location
    tampa
    Posts
    1,582
    Thanks
    178
    Thanked 394 Times in 179 Posts

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Machismo View Post
    Are you sure this guy isn't using you?
    Using me for what? I don't quite understand the question...?

  6. #6
    Banned jasmine's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    1,728
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    No, most women wouldn't be ok with it. I wouldn't put up with it. Besides that, why is he spending more on these women than he does on you? Because he can get away with it? Thats so fucking disrespectful. I've dumped men for waaay less.

  7. #7
    Banned jasmine's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    1,728
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by tampadancer View Post
    Using me for what? I don't quite understand the question...?
    For sex. He's spending money on other women, not you, while you are out of town. Sounds really bad. Like he's not involved in the relationship at all.

  8. #8
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    3,083
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 7 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    I don't think that you are over-reacting...Yea I would be royally pissed as well. The hubby and I had a ldr; we were 3000 miles apart so I understand where you are coming from.

    Quote Originally Posted by tampadancer View Post
    Oh.. and to make matters worse.. they are going to this swanky restaurant, where he is buying, and the bill will probably be a minimum of $250 bucks... yet, he is SO cheap with me. I mean, really cheap (he has a 6 figure income, btw).
    I don't like the sound of that. Oh and the fact that he can't even make the effort to come and visit you for a change speaks volumes also.

    Yea sounds dodgy.

    Has his behavior towards you changed at all?


  9. #9
    cameron_keys
    Guest

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    i would be fine with him going even if I wasnt in an open relationship because I'd assume he told me because there was no ulterier motive involed(if there were..he'd prob hide it)

    I would however NOT be ok with him paying for the other women esp. if he doesnt spend money on me. If you go out just as friends you dont pay for everyone. Esp if you dont show that kind of generosity with your girlfriend. Thats just disrespectful.

  10. #10
    God/dess hockeybobby's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4,969
    Thanks
    1,811
    Thanked 597 Times in 382 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by tampadancer View Post
    Okay, so I am totally pissed off right now, and I need an objective opinion. Tell me if you guys think my being mad is unwarranted...

    My boyfriend is going to school in RI. He's thirty five. I live in FL.. and am 25. We have been together over a year... he moved to RI in August, so we have had a ldr... but I fly up there at least once a month to see him (yeah, he doesn't come down here, but that's a whole 'nother story).

    So, he tells me a couple of days ago that he's going to Foxwoods with his classmates tonight. I'm like, "ok, that sounds fun." Last night, he tells me that it is three women. Three single women. And they invited him to go see Celtic Woman. I know my boyfriend. And I know he is no Celtic Woman fan... but again, beside the point.

    It just seems weird. Three women, inviting my boyfriend to a chick concert. And they are all in their thirties and single. That's what I have a hard time with. And he never asked me how I felt about it... it was just "this is what I'm doing..." I know if the situation were reversed, and I was going out with three single men, while my boyfriend was 1300 miles away, he would be uncomfortable with it. But when I said that, he said he would absolutely be okay with it, because he "trusts" me. And when I expressed that I was bummed out over this (NOT mad, or irritated.. bummed), he got ALL defensive. He made me feel like I am totally out of line for being upset. I told him that I bet most women would be uncomfortable with this situation... and he said that there is no way the average woman wouldn't be okay with this.

    So, am I over-reacting?? This really bothers me. Ladies... gentlemen...? How would you feel if your SO was 1300 miles away, and going out with three single people of the opposite sex.

    Oh.. and to make matters worse.. they are going to this swanky restaurant, where he is buying, and the bill will probably be a minimum of $250 bucks... yet, he is SO cheap with me. I mean, really cheap (he has a 6 figure income, btw).

    so, thoughts?
    His words, and his actions are telling you that he thinks you are a less than average woman.

    Your feelings are confirming this for you.

    Next.
    Last edited by hockeybobby; 03-14-2008 at 04:50 PM. Reason: spelling

  11. #11
    Chicagoeditor
    Guest

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by tampadancer View Post
    ...yet, he is SO cheap with me. I mean, really cheap (he has a 6 figure income, btw).

    so, thoughts?
    "Cheap" is a red flare, I'd say. He's taking you for granted!

  12. #12
    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Tampa Bay
    Posts
    1,074
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    in my extensive experience and with my brothers complete guy like comments he would have told me "thats how we get you to break up with us" Alot of guys like to sabotage relationships , they make you flip out so when you dump them they are guilt free because "you" are being a bitch .....even though that was their plan the whole time .......anyhoo he is too old for that crap he "knew" that you would be upset , I mean duh .....and he told you in sections which makes me even more suspicious , like at first he says "Friends" then he says women ....testing you , telling you more each time ...I dunno thats just how it seems from here .. I am sorry either way , I hate that crap oxoxoxoxoxoxox *big hugs* I have some great friends here in Tampa that will take us all out if you need it xoox
    Visit me on myspace , Let me know if your from SW !!!!

  13. #13
    God/dess
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    2,352
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    My gut says its all wrong.The ladies the dinner its just wrong.Hey but some people are ok with this I'm not.Get yourself a local man.

  14. #14
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    3,083
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 7 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    i would be fine with him going even if I wasnt in an open relationship because I'd assume he told me because there was no ulterier motive involed(if there were..he'd prob hide it)
    Its called Reverse-psychology. Lot's of people are so-called upfront with their SO's so that it 'appears' as if they are being honest and are trust worthy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sindi View Post
    in my extensive experience and with my brothers complete guy like comments he would have told me "thats how we get you to break up with us" Alot of guys like to sabotage relationships , they make you flip out so when you dump them they are guilt free because "you" are being a bitch .....even though that was their plan the whole time .
    Yea I was thinking the same thing.


  15. #15
    cameron_keys
    Guest

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by seraya View Post
    It's called Reverse-psychology. Lot's of people are so-called upfront with their SO's so that it 'appears' as if they are being honest and are trust worthy.
    True...I'm just saying that in itself wouldnt raise a red flag with me.

  16. #16
    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Location
    tampa
    Posts
    1,582
    Thanks
    178
    Thanked 394 Times in 179 Posts

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by seraya View Post
    Has his behavior towards you changed at all?
    No... it hasn't.

    I found out, the night of his birthday (back in dec), that he was going out with three women to celebrate. The SAME three women. Of course, I was upset then... but I guess I didn't want to come across as being a bitch on his birthday.
    Last edited by tampadancer; 03-14-2008 at 01:46 PM. Reason: typo

  17. #17
    sun child
    Guest

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    What the fuck? Did you ask him why he's paying for their dinner? That seems weird IMO.

  18. #18
    God/dess hockeybobby's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4,969
    Thanks
    1,811
    Thanked 597 Times in 382 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by tampadancer View Post
    No... it hasn't.

    I found out, the night of his birthday (back in dec), that he was going out with three women to celebrate. The SAME three women. Of course, I was upset then... but I guess I didn't want to come across as being a bitch on his birthday.
    This whole deal has "what the fuck?" written ALL over it. How do you know it's even THREE women he's taking out? Maybe it's only one.
    Cut him off...no communication at all. Take the first acceptable guy you meet and go out for dinner and a show. Two can play that game.

    Don't go see him again tampa. He's absolutely using you.

  19. #19
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
    Posts
    6,699
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 22 Times in 20 Posts

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    I would however NOT be ok with him paying for the other women esp. if he doesnt spend money on me. If you go out just as friends you dont pay for everyone. Esp if you dont show that kind of generosity with your girlfriend. Thats just disrespectful.
    I agree

    Feature costumes for sale!

  20. #20
    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Location
    tampa
    Posts
    1,582
    Thanks
    178
    Thanked 394 Times in 179 Posts

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by hockeybobby View Post
    This whole deal has "what the fuck?" written ALL over it. How do you know it's even THREE women he's taking out? Maybe it's only one.
    Cut him off...no communication at all. Take the first acceptable guy you meet and go out for dinner and a show. Two can play that game.

    Don't go see him again tampa. He's absolutely using you.
    You're right, I don't. This is just one of a long line of things that have happened. I know you're right. I know I need to just cut it off. I'm not happy. I'm tired of letting him hurt me.

    I just need to find the gumption to do it. I don't know what my problem is. I've never been the type to tolerate bullshit - but I have put up with an astronomical amount from him. And.. I don't get it.

  21. #21
    Featured Member DJ Machismo's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Centerville, OH
    Posts
    953
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    Well now at least you have support in knowing that others agree you need to find a new man. That certainly can't hurt.
    Guy #1: I'd totally hit that.
    Guy #2: Dude, I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England.

  22. #22
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    3,083
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 7 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by tampadancer View Post
    You're right, I don't. This is just one of a long line of things that have happened. I know you're right. I know I need to just cut it off. I'm not happy. I'm tired of letting him hurt me.

    I just need to find the gumption to do it. I don't know what my problem is. I've never been the type to tolerate bullshit - but I have put up with an astronomical amount from him. And.. I don't get it.
    And there it is ...I think you just answered your own question babe.

    You know what you need to do :hugs:


  23. #23
    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Tampa Bay
    Posts
    1,074
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by hockeybobby View Post
    This whole deal has "what the fuck?" written ALL over it. How do you know it's even THREE women he's taking out? Maybe it's only one.
    Cut him off...no communication at all. Take the first acceptable guy you meet and go out for dinner and a show. Two can play that game.

    Don't go see him again tampa. He's absolutely using you.

    Awwwww
    Visit me on myspace , Let me know if your from SW !!!!

  24. #24
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    the mountains ....
    Posts
    14,201
    Thanks
    15,165
    Thanked 21,346 Times in 9,308 Posts

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    Don't you just love that , I mean LOVE that how your boyfriend gets so used to you that he can be cheap with you and then do something like this ? I would be pissed. You already have other people saying the same thing, but I just wanted to be the next I guess .

    Mine spent $400-$500 ( maybe more ) last night losing at poker and I had to remind myself that this is the same person who thinks $50-$60 dinners out with me are a waste of money ( I only ask around once a month for this ) . I told him " I'm sorry you lost " and then an hour later told him " I'm expeciting a couple nice dinners out of you soon " !

  25. #25
    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Location
    tampa
    Posts
    1,582
    Thanks
    178
    Thanked 394 Times in 179 Posts

    Default Re: I am SO frustrated!!!!

    ^^your guy sounds like my ex! he had a borderline gambling addiction though, I believe.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. sure we get frustrated.......but
    By bubblegumbitch in forum Camming Connection
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 11-24-2011, 09:31 AM
  2. ...frustrated...
    By firemaiden04 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 10-25-2009, 07:40 PM
  3. So frustrated.. please help.
    By loveandluxury in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 09-01-2008, 02:06 PM
  4. I am so frustrated!!!!!
    By VeraLynn in forum Hustle Hut
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 05-01-2008, 09:16 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •