Results 1 to 17 of 17

Thread: What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

  1. #1
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    3,422
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 16 Times in 16 Posts

    Default What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

    I'm a pretty easy going gal for the most part, but last night I was feeling a little green eyed. Which is pathetic, but it kind of messed with my game. Some nights I feel a little more rejectable than others...

    I have this friend who decided to dance after she found out I did it. She's only danced a few times in two years. Like every once in a while, although I get the feeling she wants to do it more now. I give her a ride there when she asks...She's very pretty, natural hair down to her hips, petite, looks very young and cute. She's Sikh, and so very unique looking. No one looks like her, really. She looks like a bollywood star. So she's very popular, and the Indian guys go crazy for her (there are many of them at our club).

    I'm just an average blonde though, and I hustle quite a bit...But for all my effort, I still only made like half of what she made last night. She just sits at the bar and banks banks banks. And I know it really really shouldn't bother me, but I felt a little like crap. And then I felt ridiculous and petty, because of course I'm very happy for her. It just gets to me, you know?

    So how do you hold up your self-esteem when you get turned down over and over, and they just want your friend instead? I know you need to keep your confidence going strong, but it's a little embarrassing. We close at 2, but the dj will often keep the music going in the dance room for an extra twenty minutes...I was driving, and I was done with that crowd (many young guys who can somehow be a lot crueler). I saw her and said "you ready to go?", but she wanted to stay...I mean, she was still making money. So I put on my clothes in the changeroom and sat there smoking while waiting for her, thinking "she could at least offer to pay for my parking"...

    Then I felt like such a douche. I'm so not that girl. I don't know how to deal with that though. I don't usually feel that way, and it so messes with me. It's somehow harder when it's a friend, versus any other dancer. I don't know why. What to do to snap out of that? She's so nice, I'd hate to be bitchy to her. The stupidest thing is, I would have been okay with what I made for that night. Considering how slow it was, I definitely made a respectable amount. Just not like $1000. So I don't know if that's a good or bad thing? Can I turn it into a motivator, the competitiveness?

  2. #2
    Veteran Member CollegeCutie21's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2007
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    244
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 23 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

    I wish I could remember what thread I read this in, and I wish I did in order to give credit, but I remember reading

    "The only person who can stop you from making money is you."

    That's probably not verbatim.
    Anyway, you may believe she has more to offer, but that's not true. You have just as much to offer a customer, just in a different way. Obviously you are well liked or you wouldn't be making money!
    Try to remember what you like about yourself and use that as your selling points.
    Also keep in mind, you are doing your friend a real solid by being there for her (driving and such).

    Much hugs to you and hopefully your future work shifts are bountiful!






  3. #3
    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    San Francisco
    Posts
    1,331
    Thanks
    224
    Thanked 311 Times in 178 Posts

    Default Re: What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

    I've noticed that since I stopped dancing as my full time job and now have a 9-5 and only dance on some weekends, I can put more into it and not worry about getting burnt out. Maybe your friend banks because she only works every so often? That way she's more of a fresh face and seems more mysterious than the dancers they see all the time.

    Think about the fact that she worked one night, and you work more than that. I am sure with however many shifts you work in a week, you would make more than she made her one night. Think about how it averages out.

    Jealousy is normal, I know I've felt it! Try to turn the jealousy into positive motivation for you to hustle even harder! It's difficult but when it works it can be great.

  4. #4
    Featured Member iseestars's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Location
    south florida, formally baltimore maryland
    Posts
    843
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

    It's just life. Someone will always be prettier, smarter, stronger than you. When I find myself getting jealous of someone, I turn to myself and think "Well, what can I do to better myself?" For me, it was getting a pole at home to work out on and I'm getting ready to take yoga classes. Helps me with my confidence and it also helps me making money.

    Another weird thing is, I find whenever I make the most money off someone, it's when I was sitting at the bar by myself and someone came up to me. So maybe she is on to something there.

  5. #5
    ghostinpa
    Guest

    Default Re: What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

    Jealousy is hard to deal with. I remember being in high school and being envious of the girl who was the prettiest thinking why couldn't God let me walk in her shoes for just one day damn it! When you are a stripper though you have to remember that everyone has to eat! Share a little! If you have good hustle you will always get what you need so don't sweat it. Like you said be happy it's your friend and not your enemy!

  6. #6
    Featured Member tRoUbLeMaKeR's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    1,044
    Thanks
    16
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

    I wish I had some advice...but I don't It does really suck to feel like that though. You feel crappy to begin with and then even crappier when you start being negative toward your friend. It does make it much harder when it's a friend....like a conflict between positive and negative emotions. I think it's just the competitiveness of this business. Some people deal and get over things like this better than others. Maybe try to pamper yourself after nights like this and remind yourself why you are so great. Maybe when it's happening look within and see if there are any negative emotions you are feeling that day that may be shining through you and not your friend.

    big hugs for you!

  7. #7
    Senior Member Gwennnnnn's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Posts
    114
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

    I feel you. I've danced for quite some time on and off and then my best friend who has a 9-5 started dancing with me on the weekends.

    I helped her get started, told her where and how to buy the outfits, etc.. I dance more than her so she definitely has the fresher less burnt out attitude when she goes in. On her second night dancing EVER, she was sitting with a drunk fucked up guy who ordered a bottle and they invited me and other dancers to come over and drink from the bottle. Somehow, the guy orders 1000 in funny money from the waitress. My friend is sitting there cuddling with him and after the waitress hands him the thick wad of money, she whispers something in his ear, which she later told me was "If you give me that money, I'll sit with you all night." He hands 1000 dollars to her there, right in front of me and some other dancers. That was the the first hour of her second night dancing EVER. The guy sat with her for 5 more minutes and left. Now, I do consistently pretty well dancing, but I have never broken 1000 in a night. How do you think I felt watching this go down? Sooooo fucking jealous. Then, on her third night she did a 4 hour champagne room and made well over a 1000.

    I was so jealous of her and hated working when she would work for a while. We ended up getting in some crazy fights over this. We had a lot of long talks (she's been my best friend for about 10 years) and pretty much resolved the situation. I thought for a while that maybe we just shouldn't work the same nights, but then I realized that we got ourselves into this situation, I decided to help her become a dancer, so we both have to suck it up, be adults, and realize how ridiculous the whole thing is. The resolution that we came to is that we don't tell each other how much we made, ever. In the end the whole situation has taught me a lot about friendship, maturity, and jealousy.

    You're right, the stripper jealousy is quite different when its a friend you know well than another dancer.
    You have to just breathe in and out, take some time to calm the jealousy, and realize that you also do well for yourself as a dancer.

  8. #8
    AudreyLeigh
    Guest

    Default Re: What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

    Quote Originally Posted by noelle View Post
    I've noticed that since I stopped dancing as my full time job and now have a 9-5 and only dance on some weekends, I can put more into it and not worry about getting burnt out. Maybe your friend banks because she only works every so often? That way she's more of a fresh face and seems more mysterious than the dancers they see all the time.
    This is what I was thinking. Fresh, new. Shes not tired from dancing all the time. Shes excited to be there and guys can feel that.

  9. #9
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    9,746
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 50 Times in 31 Posts

    Default Re: What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

    Aw. Kitten.
    Well A) remember all the girls who feel the same way working with you. Just build that vanity ego right back up.
    B) Me... I just smother it. These feelings may be normal, but they are not particularly useful, you know? There is no point in giving them time if they are just... not good for anything. I get that sometimes after a long week, it can get you down, but there is no point in giving it excessive head time when there are all sorts of important thinky-thoughts you could be having instead.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  10. #10
    Veteran Member sexysunny's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    england
    Posts
    373
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post

    Default Re: What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

    everyone makes loads when they first start. its that whole purity fresh faced thing. don't let it get to you.
    SEXY SUNNY

  11. #11
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
    Posts
    6,699
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 22 Times in 20 Posts

    Default Re: What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

    Quote Originally Posted by mollyzmoon View Post
    Can I turn it into a motivator, the competitiveness?
    I don't know what to say...I'd find it hard to be in your situation, and the only way out I see is to keep it in perspective. I've found that I can be less 'jealous' of girls that have qualities I can't offer...usually it's big tits, but 'exotic ethnicity' is one of them. It's like, I don't even let myself compare myself wth them on the same scale, because it's apples and oranges, and t will never be otherwise.

    Feature costumes for sale!

  12. #12
    Veteran Member dollyrocker's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2006
    Location
    DFW
    Posts
    693
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 11 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

    That fact that she hardly comes in and therefore isn't jaded is THEE reason she makes money above all else, trust me!

    Whenever I'm in an extra optimistic, carefree mood, I too give off that 'new girl' type vibe and BANK - no matter how dead a club may be. But if I'm not in that mental state, I struggle to break $100 in a crowded room. Yesterday I was in 'new girl' mode and broke $500. Today, I felt tired as fuck and had low energy. I just went through the motions and made $133. Showing enthusiasm makes guys want to spend.

    Yes, looks are a factor, but they aren't the end all be all. So don't beat yourself up over this.

  13. #13
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    3,422
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 16 Times in 16 Posts

    Default Re: What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

    Thanks everybody! I am feeling much improved now. I know, and knew even at the time, how useless it is to envy. I can't hold it against her. I'll just run a bit more, do more yoga, feel better about myself.

    I think it was all a dark cloud descending over my stripper self this weekend. It ended with me punching a wall last night, and I was like "woah, where'd that come from? Time to go home and have a damn cookie!". S'all better now. I think maybe in good times I have to come up with strategies to deal with the bad moods, because I'm not very solution-oriented when they hit. I can't expect it to be easy everyday. Etc. I really appreciate all the advice/ kind words.

  14. #14
    Featured Member mina loy's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Location
    san francisco
    Posts
    970
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

    i have a friend who works two nights per week with me. she's definitely the prettier one and guys will just shower and shower her with money. one way this hasn't come between us is because we hardly ever discuss how much we make and we're always supportive of each other when one of us does well.

    sure, i get envious because of her looks but she's envious of me for qualities i have that she doesn't yet have: killer pole dancing skills and a high level of academic achievement. i do my best to remind myself of the great things i have to offer and how well they serve me.

    but yes, i can understand the envy.
    [sigpic][/sigpic]
    ......just to feel.....the half-blood prince...

  15. #15
    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Nudie-Land
    Posts
    7,219
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4,151 Times in 1,462 Posts
    My Mood
    Sneaky

    Default Re: What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

    I know exactly how you feel. Its a very complex set of emotions. I am very prone to pseudo-buddy-jealousy too.

    You just have to work through it. Focus on baking for you. Keep the eyes on the prize. Keep her and all the other girls invisible and irrelevant. Be the sex goddess you can be.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

  16. #16
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2,519
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 53 Times in 32 Posts

    Default Re: What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

    I find it's best just to compete with yourself. If your goal is X an hour and you make X an hour, you should be happy no matter what other girls are making.

  17. #17
    Member krystalpink's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    66
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post

    Default Re: What do you do about stripper-buddy jealousy?

    Perhaps instead of being envious of her you should do doubles with her and take advantage of the fact that you are the the blonde and she is brunette and you can cater to every mans fantasy and that two is better then one, then you can both bank and its more fun.

    A long time ago I had a friend that was an amazing hustler and I was more shy but had the massive boobs etc.. and we just worked together and cashed in BIG. Together we made the perfect woman.. hehe

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 24
    Last Post: 02-25-2007, 02:16 AM
  2. jealousy
    By august in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 12-30-2005, 12:43 PM
  3. jealousy
    By katrin in forum Hustle Hut
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 02-26-2004, 01:16 PM
  4. Jealousy again!!!!;)
    By in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 02-21-2003, 04:48 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •