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Thread: what the fuck just happened???

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    Featured Member georgiapeach's Avatar
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    Default what the fuck just happened???

    my boyfriend broke up with me today. over the phone.

    we've been together for a year. a happy year. we've argued twice. he's always been sweet to me. i've been sweet to him. supportive and patient as he finished school and started his career.

    he made me the most lovely card for vaentine's day. last sunday we had dinner and frozen yogurt and i scratched his back like i always do.

    our phone conversations during the week were good. i'm very sensitive to peopls moods and i sensed nothing at all out of the ordinary.

    then yesterday he ignored my calls until late last night. and today, "i think we should break up."

    why? because he just moved and he says it's too far and he's tired of me dancing. both pathetic excuses because 1. we had already discussed my plans to stop dancing in the next few months and 2. we had already discussed plans for me to move closer to him.

    and the whole time on the phone he is talking to me in this cold and apathetic tone, which i have never in a year heard before. not the smallest hint of remorse or sadness on his part.

    what the fuck? it's like he was posessed by a pod person. i can't get my head around it.

    i don't want to get back together with him...i just want to know what happened.

    i put this in the lounge because i'd love a male perspective or two also. thanks...

    *sigh*

  2. #2
    Gypsy74
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    sounds like he cheated on you or just lost interest.

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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Who knows... maybe he had a rough couple of days and it all ganged up on him at once, people do stupid things sometimes... A lot of times these people comes to there senses, but some don't... been there though so I hope it all works out!

    As to the over the phone... not the best way, but if you two are really far apart, is there a better way? One of my ex's broke up with me over the phone while in Europe, phone was pretty much the only way... Although it did still hurt...

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    Featured Member georgiapeach's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Quote Originally Posted by Gypsy74 View Post
    sounds like he cheated on you or just lost interest.
    in one day? friday everything was good. sunday everything is over. could it happen That quickly?

    or maybe he was just a spectacular liar...

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    Featured Member georgiapeach's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Quote Originally Posted by jester214 View Post
    As to the over the phone... not the best way, but if you two are really far apart, is there a better part... One of my ex's broke up with me over the phone while in Europe, phone was pretty much the only way... Although it did still hurt...
    he was about 30 minutes from my house when he broke up with me. and he's living about and hour and a half from me.

  6. #6
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Wow. That's a mystery to me. I'm sorry, you must be reeling.

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    Featured Member georgiapeach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Wow. That's a mystery to me. I'm sorry, you must be reeling.
    i'm not an angry person, but all i want to do right now is hit his face. it's a strange feeling...

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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Quote Originally Posted by georgiapeach View Post
    he was about 30 minutes from my house when he broke up with me. and he's living about and hour and a half from me.
    Well then that's just plain shitty... Refer only to the first part of me post then please.

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    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    He broke up with you over the phone? How effing douchey of him. After a year of being together, at the VERY least he could have told you in person.

    I'm so sorry honey. I can only imagine what you're feeling right now. I've been with my bf for 9 months, and if he pulled this on me I would be absolutely crushed.

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Ouch, sorry georgiapeach. I did that to a woman once, after two years together. It hit her as a total shock too. I was with someone I felt no physical attraction for, even though we were a great match in most other areas. It wasn't something where talking about it was ever going to resolve it. I brought it up once but she was so hurt I backed down, burried those feelings, and I (thanks to ridiculous inexperience) then simply hoped desire would emerge and develop over time. Yeah right. I finally couldn't take it anymore, and broke it off. We got back together for 6 more months, and then called it quits for good. I highly doubt that attraction is the issue here. More like something he tried to cope with and finally couldn't anymore.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

  11. #11
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    my first thought was that he cheated, and feels guilty enough to break up rather then hurt you like that. Halfway through your post I thought that, and when gypsy said it, I was like... bingo!

    I'm sorry, I hope you can figure it out, and fix things, or at least get some closure.

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    Featured Member georgiapeach's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    I highly doubt that attraction is the issue here. More like something he tried to cope with and finally couldn't anymore.
    like what?? i know you can't actually tell me, but, God, i want to know.

    he never complained to me about anything except for the dancing, which i was understanding about and had a solid plan to stop doing soon.

    and our physical relationship was great. i really made and effort to keep it interesting and exciting. i was always willing to satisfy him and he was always interested in, well, being satisfied.

    he was always hugging me and kissing me. holding my hand. cuddling in the movie theater. he told me he loved me every time we talked. i don't get it.

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    Featured Member X Evan X's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Seriously nothing surprises me any more. Wish I could offer you some answers to all the questions you must have right now but sadly I can't.

    If it makes you feel as though you aren't alone: I was with someone for 2 perfect blissful years when she lied to me, my family, and all of our friends about her father dying. For no apparent reason whatsoever.

    People are strange. Don't get bitter. Remember the good times, find someone who makes you happy. You are much better than him. You deserve far more than what he has to offer.
    -E
    hilarious signature

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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Wow. I'm really sorry. I'd be upset and confused in your shoes as well. I don't even know, is it appropriate to ask him why he chose to end the relationship?

    Feature costumes for sale!

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    Featured Member georgiapeach's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver View Post
    Wow. I'm really sorry. I'd be upset and confused in your shoes as well. I don't even know, is it appropriate to ask him why he chose to end the relationship?
    i asked him over the phone and he said the distance and the dancing. i told him i found that hard to believe and he said that was it. but i still don't buy it.

    he's supposed to drop off my stuff next weekend. maybe he will feel more honest then. but i doubt it.

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    God/dess Bob_Loblaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Quote Originally Posted by georgiapeach View Post
    why? because he just moved and he says it's too far and he's tired of me dancing. both pathetic excuses because 1. we had already discussed my plans to stop dancing in the next few months and 2. we had already discussed plans for me to move closer to him.
    He probably used those excuses because they were much easier to use those as reasons rather than tell you the truth (either to spare your feelings or to allow himself to feel less guilt by believing he's sparing your feelings).

    Quote Originally Posted by georgiapeach View Post
    and the whole time on the phone he is talking to me in this cold and apathetic tone, which i have never in a year heard before. not the smallest hint of remorse or sadness on his part.
    He had his mind made up and disassociating from his emotions makes it easier for him to deliver his decision.

    Perhaps he didn't see a long term future for you two. Perhaps his interest waned. Perhaps he enjoyed the taste of "freedom" when he moved. Whatever his reasons, his method of breaking up was both cowardly and disrespectful. I say this having done it once in the past and it was shameful.

    I understand you're confused and would like to know what may have possessed him to come to such a conclusion. But having that knowledge doesn't matter as there isn't anything to fix here. Everyone deserves someone who accepts them for who they are and loves them unconditionally despite any flaws or quirks they may have. It may suck right now but take comfort in the fact that you're probably better off.

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    Featured Member georgiapeach's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    ^^^i know that is true. i just wish i hadn't wasted a whole year of my life.

    i really like your sig., btw

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    Veteran Member MichelleJade's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Wow, this sucks. It's hard to say what he was thinking... some people just don't like confrontation. They will break up over phones just to avoid seeing hurt faces. My guess is that he is an expert in repressing emotions because he didn't want to fight, and then one day he couldn't repress them anymore, even though being cold and distant is definitely still a repression. He was probably having the typical anger over the job choice, as most guys do, but I'm sure there was a lot more to it than that.
    And since he was starting a career, maybe he felt like you two weren't on the same level anymore.

    Trust me, it wasn't you at all. I hope in the future you can find someone who is much more honest with you and their own emotions.

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    God/dess Bob_Loblaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Quote Originally Posted by georgiapeach View Post
    i just wish i hadn't wasted a whole year of my life.
    That's a normal reaction. The silver lining? At least it wasn't two, three, or more years. You'll grow from this experience and become stronger. That's a certainty.

    Quote Originally Posted by georgiapeach View Post
    i really like your sig., btw
    Thanks! Nice to know I can pick a winner

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    man, what a shock. no help from me whatsoever except to say that this guy is emotionally retarded (and I mean that in it's clinical term rather than as the typical slur term.) Read 40 things every woman should remember sticky at the top of ladies forum before he drops off your stuff.

    luckily he's taken the garbage (himself) out so a real man can step in soon.

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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    I'm sorry, I know it is so hard to be blindsided by this kind of information. Whatever his reason for breaking up with you, if he was able to fake those lovin' emotions when he was on the verge of a break up, he was being emotionally dishonest with you. I don't know what else to say though honey, except that I'm sorry and I hope you feel better. *hugs*

  22. #22
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    wow. thats just messed up.

    was he drunk when he called? have you spoken since?

  23. #23
    Featured Member georgiapeach's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Quote Originally Posted by mermaidnz View Post
    wow. thats just messed up.

    was he drunk when he called? have you spoken since?
    he definitely wasn't drunk. we haven't talked. he is supposed to call this week to figure out when to drop off my stuff.

    and i certainly will not call him.

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    Veteran Member jessica_rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    That is extremely shitty. After a year together, you deserve more than that. Usually you can kind of see a break-up coming. But when you're completely blind-sided like that... I just don't know what to tell you. It sounds like he cheated, or met someone else. You might never know.

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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    oh sweetie... i'm so sorry. that's absolutely awful. i agree w/ the cheating or just simply lost patience/interest thing. it happens- it SUCKS, but it's in no way your fault or was likely anything you had any part in... if everything was going really well, you guys were communicative and all of a sudden *bAm*, then it's definitely his weirdness. I'm sorry, babe..

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