^^^^Eesh, insensitive much??





^^^^Eesh, insensitive much??





You went and told him you wanted to get married someday, didn'tcha?!
(jus' teasin' girl...)
Look like a woman
Think like a man
Act like a lady
Work like a dog
- My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success





Just in response to these last few posts--I think the guy owed Georgia his honesty: that things should not have gone from her thinking all was well to a complete discontinuation of the relationship in one phone call. That means that he was not honest with his spirit, and that makes me angry for her: she deserved better, and she should continue to expect better. I know we tend to rationalize a lot of things these days, and one of those is dishonesty--it is almost a virtue to bend and twist and get what you want, at the exclusion of the feelings or soul of another. Georgia, I'm glad the thing came to an end because as I've said before I think this action of his speaks loudly about who he is; I hope, too, that you don't become jaded and think all guys are like this. Some will handle things much better--hell, you should have had some indication from him long before the phone call that all was not well. I think it's worthwhile, early in a relationship, to try and get a read on the guy's character...you can usually create a larger picture of someone through the smaller things they do--the way the treat others, the things they talk about, the things they love; try to look into the soul, if you can. It is easy to mask the soul with an impression of wealth or strength, but truly "rich" and strong people demonstrate those characteristics inevitably over time, and people who are not so strong, who don't know themselves, reveal those things too, if you look at them hard enough. So respect yourself--move on now, and when the time is right maybe you can think a little more objectively about what happened here. I think you know already that you deserved better, and I think the next relationship will BE better as a result. That is my big wish for you.
Last edited by jhuka; 03-19-2008 at 05:28 PM.
JK Jim
The WAY he broke it off is the reason she is feeling that way (Duh). Had he acted like a standup adult and broke up with her in a more sensitive way she wouldn't be having this reaction. You're probably one of those guys that think women are all emotional, screamy harpies, right?
So when boys cheat it's because they are horny and want to fuck, but when women cheat it's because of "love" and "feelings"? And cheating isn't real if you aren't married?
You're a case study.



bradc, i see you are new.
I guess im a little skeptical by nature but do you know Georgia?
Yeah BradC, YOU SUCK. I disagree with pretty much everything you said. ESPECIALLY the part about it being "lame bullshit" when a girl says that she's "wasted a year" dating a guy that turns out to be an idiot or dumps her. I've been down that road before where I felt like I wasted a good year. You claim that if I hadn't spent all of 2002 dating the loser guy I dated, that I would have lived my life the same way...WRONG! I wanted to play the field and catch up with my friends that summer...but instead, I LOST all of my friends(PERMANENTLY even!) because of the loser I dated. I was stuck in a monogamous, mentally abusive relationship that I did not enjoy. This guy wasted my time, ruined my friendships(he did some lousy stuff), and to be honest, part of the reason why I actually stayed with such a drain was because he owed me money that he'd stolen and I was hoping to get it back(I knew that if I dumped him, I would NEVER see my money again). In the end, he still did NOT pay what was owed and then he dumped ME, leaving me without money OR dignity. Yes, there were plenty of much better things I could have done in that year. Here's an example: save one of my best friends from getting into heroin. He spent a good solid year in rehab for getting involved with that shit, and it all coulda been prevented if I'd been there to lend support, instead of pretending he didn't exist just because I knew that my psycho possessive boyfriend would get insanely jealous.
I think you are Georgia's now-ex boyfriend.![]()
That sucks, what a shitty feeling, to have someone who you felt so close to suddenly do a 180 like that out of nowhere. I just went through something similar. I find that there's never a satisfying answer to the "Why?" question. With matters of love, it's either there or it isn't, and when it isn't, sometimes there's no good reason. Just do your best to let yourself feel shitty for a bit and then figure it's for the best and try to move on. After all, this just means you're a step closer to Mr. Right.
Anyway, he's an idiot, breaking up with you over the phone. No class, and fuck that, you don't need that shit. You rock.








hey, i LIKE the kitchen!!
if not because thats where the food is... but also because its where many household cleaners are kept.. 'twould be a pity to "accidently" mix some into a man's dinner...
If God would have meant for us to be naked, we would have been born that way.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
http://www.myspace.com/natalielyanh




BradC: some of the stuff you said was just harsh, not over-the-top wrong, but what really soured me on your post was using quotation marks for the word cheating because they weren't married.
As if it's perfectly OK to sleep around against the will of one's girlfriend. Not married after all...
Such a class act.![]()
Hooray for you... you're a sexist jackass. Is there an official definition of troll around here? How exactly do you tell the difference between "jerk" and "troll"? What about joining a forum called "Stripperweb" and calling girls "hoes"? I have no problem with "truthful" (as truthful as your "opinion" can be) but I do have a problem with someone being "tactless".
Anyways, a guy doesn't come out of the blue after an entire year with issues about your job unless he's been lying to you all along about being cool with it (hence, "wasting a year"... get it?). It's actually quite possible to waste time that wouldn't have been spent finding a cure for cancer, duh. It's also commonly known as keeping-someone-in-the-dark-about-how-you-really-feel-about-something-and-keeping-her-from-finding-someone-worth-her-time.
Last edited by Bella21; 03-20-2008 at 01:16 AM.
If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

i don't think that ALL of any gender is anything. i do, however, know that men and women (not always obviously) generally have two different reasons to cheat. i bet you know that just like i know that, too.
as far as the cheating thing goes: i personally believe that dating is a way to find whomever you're looking to settle down with, assuming that you're looking to settle down at some point. i don't think that it's wrong to date multiple people, if that's what you want to do, and i wouldn't really consider it cheating unless there is some sort of commitment involved, which there doesn't seem to be in this case.
of course not, and i'm sure that you're now going to say, "then shut up because you don't know her"... there, i said it for you.
first off, i'm not her ex-bf. i have no clue who she is. second, if that relationship was so bad, why did you stick it out for a year? i guess that my point is that you're responsible for yourself and your own life, just like he is responsible for his. in my opinion, as long as you're not a prisoner of war or locked in someone's basement, then the only person that wasted a year of your life is you. i'm sorry that it sounds so harsh, but that's my opinion. (now someone can pop off with the "opinions are like assholes" comment. ) i just feel that a person should be accountable to and for themselves.

i'm not an "all knowing man". lol ..and you're right, my dick didn't fully develop. that's a damn good one. i just posted my opinion based on my experience. i could've just posted up a big lovey dovey post and blow smoke like everyone wants to hear, but what would be the point in that? sometimes people need to hear what they don't want to hear.
i'm not saying that i'm ok with it, i'm just saying that it's hard to say that someone "cheated" when there seems to be no commitment on either part, from what i saw. i guess that i could see it more if they lived together at least.
i guess that you could call me a "troll" because i don't have a million posts and i just signed up a week or two ago, but i think that "newbie" would be better fitting. also, the term "save a hoe" is just a term that people understand means that you're just out to say whatever the other wants to hear, etc. you would be suprised if you met me; the term "hoe" is never used by me when talking about or to a woman. in fact, it's very rare for me to even say a curse word in front of a woman. i may sound "sexist" by saying that, but i'm very old fashioned when it comes to that kind of stuff. i will, however, give you my opinion if it's asked for (you obviously didn't ask for mine specifically, i know), and i tend to come out and say what i feel as opposed to what people want to hear. that's probably one of my many faults. but, otherwise i don't think that i'm "sexist"...i don't think that women belong in the kitchen or shouldn't work, or any of that other nonsense.
as far as the time wasting thing: like i said above, i'm not a big fan of the "victim mentality", and i feel that you should be accountable to yourself for your well-being just like you should be held accountable to others for your actions.
also, you said that he wasn't honest with you about having a problem with your career choice, above, but in your first post you said that he mentioned to you that he didn't like it and that you told him that you were planning on quitting. (i'm sorry, i don't remember the exact words.) from my experience, when someone mentions something like that, they're looking for you to give a definite answer on when you plan on quitting, and if they don't get that answer, they see it as being "put off". again, i don't know your specific situation, but that has been my experience. (as limited as that may be)
whew, that was a bunch of typing.





Brad, take a look at your contradictions and ramblings. Perhaps then you'll see the nonsensical contradictory reality of what you've written thus far.
Originally Posted by BradC
Originally Posted by BradC
Which is it Brad? Is he only accountable to himself or should he be accountable to her too?Originally Posted by BradC
Originally Posted by BradC
She's established that pretty clearly to every woman and man here except you.
Originally Posted by BradC
That's not the meaning of that expression. Also, perhaps you're not aware this is a female dominated site not a male strip site.
“What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE
BradC: So what your saying is it's OK to cheat, because it's not really cheating, if you don't live close to your SO or aren't married? Is lying also ok if you aren't under oath, or probably aren't gonna get caught?
Seriously, don't be such an ass.
Sorry, but today I'm just in a mood to "say what i feel as opposed to what people want to hear."




"Boyfriend" implies commitment. Especially a boyfriend of over a year.
FYI, I'm a dyed-in-the-wool polyamorist, I'm in an open marriage with two other partners, and <i>I</i> can tell you that sleeping around without the SO's knowledge or approval = cheating. Cheating, and a good way to spread STDs.
Just say no to dumb.![]()

i think that a person should be accountable to others for actions that could potentially cause harm to others, but i don't believe that someone is responsible for someone else's life. i think that you should be responsible for your own life and the choices that you make. i'm just not a big fan of the victim mentality. it's too easy to blame someone else for all of your problems, but nobody wants to take a look at themselves for the reason because that would be admitting fault. in my opinion, if you are going to blame others for wasted time, then dating probably isn't for you. the fact of the matter is that people are finicky, and if someone feels like the relationship is not for them, then they have the right to end it.
yes, i know that this is a female dominated site, and i also put the expression in quotations in the hopes that nobody would think that i'm calling them that. if anyone thinks that, i sincerely apologize, as that wasn't my intention.

i don't want to type all day, but i'm just saying that i can't bring myself to cast stones at some guy or girl if they are dating multiple people. personally, i don't think that it's "ok" if i'm in a commited relationship (notice i'm talking about myself), but some people have differing opinions on when it's really cheating. at what point would you consider yourself in a commited relationship? i bet that you would be suprised to find out that your significant other probably has a different definition than yourself.
like i said above, i think that people would be pretty suprised if they asked their significant other at what point they felt like they were in a commited relationship. she may feel like they had reached that point, but he may not.
as far as the open marriage goes, i'm not a big fan of that for me, but i'm all for someone else being able to do it. i guess that i'm too old fashioned and boring to be able to do something like that. it just seems like a disaster waiting to happen, but i'm glad to see that you two can make it work.![]()
Hahahahaha. I'm married sweetie. And if the hubby ever decides to cheat he'll be missing a couple of important parts of his anatomy. As to the not knowing when the relationship is considered exclusive - I always talked about these things, because I was the one that didn't want to be tied down. I'm sure most girls on this site are intelligent to have that conversation, so some douche can't use that excuse.
Also, if your a cheater (not speaking to anyone in particular) have the balls to admit it. Don't hide behind a "different view of the relationship" piece of bullshit.
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