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Thread: what the fuck just happened???

  1. #76
    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    I don't know about the cheating theory. Maybe, but usually when people cheat they want to have their cake and eat it too (i.e., they want to keep their regular person, and hide the cheating, at least for a period of time).

    One possibility is that he never has felt comfortable with you dancing, that it has been an on-going source of jealousy for him, that he doesn't trust you dancing and being so far away (which is what he said), and so in effect, he has gone out of his way to hurt you and/or protect himself, by cutting you off sharply. Basically, maybe he expects you to cheat and so he has cut you out of his life before it happens.

    Another possibility is that he simply lied to you all along to get booty, and now that he is far away and won't be getting any, has no interest in keeping up the lie.
    i agree with damage on the 2nd and 3rd points. definitely, uncomfortable and harsh personality. i've been friends with guys capable of this degree of...merciless(?), cavalier attitude and they can somehow just "turn it off" when just days (or minutes!) before were all lovey-dovey.

    don't get me wrong, i've seen this in women too. i don't think it's a gender thing, just personality. people like this can still be good friends (if you're the same sex) but terrible lovers/mates (no way i'd let friends or family date them).

    but i disagree with the cheating thing. i definitely think the guy has something lined up on the side. just something in how you described his coldness and attitude even with a year-long relationship there (the v-day card is really messed up, nice mind-fuck. sheesh.).

    good luck, there are penty of other fish in the sea. this one was rotting on the inside, it wouldn't have been pretty once he opened up. like the others say, it saved you a LOT more grief down the road!

  2. #77
    Banned jasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Quote Originally Posted by snoopy View Post
    but i disagree with the cheating thing. i definitely think the guy has something lined up on the side. just something in how you described his coldness and attitude even with a year-long relationship there (the v-day card is really messed up, nice mind-fuck. sheesh.).
    Ita, I've dumped guys with pretty much the same "I just don't like you anymore" attitude, but they all had to see it coming. There is no excuse for telling someone you love them one day and buying them presents and such and then just dumping them for no real reason the next. It takes a real ass to act like they are in love up until the moment they end things.

  3. #78
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    I'm sorry this happened the way it turned out. I hope you have gotten some ideas here that will help you move on. I got into this late and have read most of these ideas (except the Bradc hijack ones), and I think you found good support here. Something like this happened to me (at least once), and I know that support is important. I also know it hurts even more when things happen by surprise.

    Only thing else I can think to say is that a valued relationship is obtained by using your experience to weed out the ones that don't work out. I hope you do figure out what happened, but don't dwell on it if you are not satisfied with your understanding. When you are ready, I hope you find a more mature person who knows what he wants and talks to you honestly, always.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  4. #79
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    brad, you seem way too comitted to proving a point about a girl you don't know?

    Guess what, you aren't proving anything but how much of an idiot your gender can be.

  5. #80
    Veteran Member jessica_rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    I consider my time wasted when someone lies to me about their intentions. And my definition of lying includes misrepresenting yourself, which this guy clearly did if he wasn't happy in the relationship. After all, he didn't wake up one day and feel like breaking up out of the blue. This was something he had been considering and hiding from her. So yeah, I would consider it a BIG waste of time to pour love, energy, and hopeful expectations onto someone who didn't feel the same way but pretended otherwise.

    I'm not saying this is the case for Georgia, but I am hoping to get married and start a family and spend the rest of my life with someone. I wouldn't date someone for a year if I didn't see a future together. Now, I can understand that sometimes things don't work out. That's not reason enough to feel bitter. But as a woman with a biological clock, my time is valuable. And if someone knowingly wastes that time and leads me on and lets me believe we have something that we don't, than I respectfully reserve the right to be pissed as hell!

    So take note, this is not a victim mentality at all. It's justified anger at wrongdoing by another. When a man lies, evades, hides or otherwise misleads a woman, we call that man a WASTE OF TIME.

  6. #81
    stellaforstars
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Ugh, oh my God, BradC. You must really think we're all completely stupid. Of course there's nothing wrong with dating several people, if all parties are aware.

    Do you really think we don't make sure those lines are defined after a certain point in our relationship? That we would simply blissfully believe that our men are inclined to worship us and not look at a single other woman? Of course not, honey. We're smarter than that. Some of us enjoy pursuing open relationships and we make that completely clear. Others are not okay with any such thing and, Brad, I guarantee they make that clear as well.

    So you're either still advocating cheating, which is despicable as fuck, or you think we females are dense, and completely unaware of the situations and the people around us. Which is it? Are you an ass or are we stupid?

  7. #82
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Can we tell him ^^ to go away?

  8. #83
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Maybe if we all report posts at the same time, mods'll go.. yeah, nobody likes you, eff off?


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  9. #84
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    On the count of three!

    Oh shit. No one can hear me.

  10. #85
    Veteran Member blayze's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    uh... playing devil's advocate here...

    bradC doesnt seem to be TRYING to be pissing everyone off, in fact it seems like (to me, at least) that he's over explaining himself in an effort NOT to piss everyone off... i'm not saying that i agree with what he is saying, but i do see his points, and yes some of them are valid.

    i'm just reminded of ms Darcy's thread about being nice to newbs...

    *backs away carefully*

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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    His points contradict themselves and he doesn't actually listen to anyone else's arguement. It's like talking to Sophiemarie, she'd keep ramming her agenda regardless. Check out his contributions in Crow2's the Southern Gentleman thread in CC. Same behavior and circular logic whether men or women try to explain the fairly obvious.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  12. #87
    Veteran Member blayze's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    o i'm not saying that he isn't contradicting himself...
    but the point that no one can wastes your time unless you CHOSE to let them is somewhat valid. AS IS the point that several others have made that the exbf did indeed "Waste" her time because of false pretenses...

    and i can say this because she CHOSE to spend that time with him, albeit under false pretenses, which made it a waste. it would be interesting to see if she still considered it a waste if they had broken up under different circumstances?

    however i think that the only thing that she can do now, other than a wicked awesome revenge scheme, would be to grow from the experience and take a closer look at people's characters before getting too heavily involved with them. (not that she didnt in this situation, but i think after such an experience that it just makes one more leary of getting involved, thus you look more closely...)

    Quote Originally Posted by MissAlethea View Post
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    That's so golden! I recently had a breakup like that and that is the only thing that keeps it from being a bit of a waste--the wisdom I've gained! It was good to love and stretch my emotional boundaries. It was ALSO good to have saved myself from being horribly used. Hopefully that's what she'll take from his and all our posts. I was concerned that she know we understand. She's not being delusional. She got a raw deal and is right to feel screwed. But, happily, the feeling can be transformed by noticing what in his personality was dishonest and what in her personality did not recognize it. So next time she can nip the problem relationship in the bud.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  14. #89
    Featured Member georgiapeach's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Quote Originally Posted by BradC View Post
    if that relationship was so bad, why did you stick it out for a year?
    learn to read

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    Senior Member mizzou's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    hey just want to say after reading the post on this dicussion forum, i feel bad for what happen to georgiapeach and to other girls that had to go through these type of relationship. it makes me sad that there are people arent there to hurt us and not just be honest with you and doesnt understand what they are doing to us. from these experience it will make us all a stronger person then what we are now.

  16. #91
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Quote Originally Posted by thechaosfairy View Post
    I'm in an open marriage with two other partners
    Quote Originally Posted by BradC View Post
    i'm glad to see that you two can make it work.
    I also offer reading comprehension tutoring at very reasonable rates.
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    Like super-fast, frenetic, chipmunklike stylized humping with this look on her face like "Kill! Kill!"
    Quote Originally Posted by iseestars View Post
    i think people like going to parties and clubs and looking like douchebags.

  17. #92
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    If you look up "unwelcome" in the dictionary, it says "see also: BradC". Then when you look up "BradC" it says "noun; a sexist, unnecessarily cruel, hypocritical asswad who joins a stripper site to verbally abuse women for free because he can't afford to go to a strip club and abuse them."

  18. #93
    Senior Member hustlebunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    I went thru and out of the blue break up after a year and a half with no arguements a few months ago...tis still a mystery...was it my dancing was it his going to Iraq. GeorgiaPeach, i hope you realize that he doesn't deserve to have you. He obviously doesn't know how to communicate thoughts and feelings like an adult human. It drove me crazy not to know the real reason for a while but ultimately I now know to look for someone who can form language around what he thinks and FEELS! He sucks and you don't!
    "Whether YOU think you can or YOU think you can't you're right!" -Henry Ford

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    If you look up "unwelcome" in the dictionary, it says "see also: BradC". Then when you look up "BradC" it says "noun; a sexist, unnecessarily cruel, hypocritical asswad who joins a stripper site to verbally abuse women for free because he can't afford to go to a strip club and abuse them."
    I'll be durned....! That's exactly what mine says too, and it was copyrighted in 1987. Smart writers, I guess.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  20. #95
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: what the fuck just happened???

    Quote Originally Posted by hustlebunny View Post
    I went thru and out of the blue break up after a year and a half with no arguements a few months ago...tis still a mystery...was it my dancing was it his going to Iraq. GeorgiaPeach, i hope you realize that he doesn't deserve to have you. He obviously doesn't know how to communicate thoughts and feelings like an adult human. It drove me crazy not to know the real reason for a while but ultimately I now know to look for someone who can form language around what he thinks and FEELS! He sucks and you don't!
    Yeah I went through something similar to that too...only I didn't date him as long as a year and a half(I only dated him for a few months), and he didn't directly break up with me. No he wasn't "decent" enough to do even that. Instead, he made plans with me, called me prior to leaving to notify me that he was heading up to my house, then stood me up.

    I retaliated in many immature ways, such as my girl friends and I vandalizing walls of his favorite local hangouts with "Eric is a whore", and then later sleeping with his near-engaged friend. I think I actually wrote a thread about this a while back titled "Eric Holden is a whorey whore whore" haha.

    Nothing wrong with a little revenge. Revenge is a dish best served cold! The OP should sleep with this guy's brother to spite him, that'd be funny.

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