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Thread: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

  1. #1
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Thumbs down My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    I'm not telling you which guy friend was the 7th wheel...but I'm sure you can easily guess LOL. Anyway, last night I had a little small group party at my apartment where we drank and were jolly. My friend Carrie and her boyfriend Dave were there(I wrote about them in a few threads before), annoying making out, smacking lips loudly(that sound is worse than fingernails against a chalkboard, I swear), somberly arguing with each other once ever 15 mins, etc. But my friend "Donna" and I didn't mind because we were able to be giddy and loud and rowdy together. Plus, more guys came over later in the night. First, my roommate Revolution came home. Donna's been pining after him and they ended up hooking up! LOL. Then my ongoing fuck buddy/ex-boyfriend "Devin" visited and despite my pledge to hold out sex until I'm in a relationship(eh, I'm failing at the "dating" thing anyway so fuck it), I ended up hooking up with him. And then there was my guy friend, who was left with nobody.

    THANKFULLY my guy friend left the party BEFORE Donna and Revolution started hooking up, or before my fuck buddy Devin and I started going at it in the other room. There were a few times in the past where this guy friend was at a party with me and our other friends, he'd see everyone coupling off, and he would get grouchy-and-bitter then peace out of the party. So I'm glad he didn't stick around long enough to see that happen this time!

    Here's the thing about my friend: he's in his mid-to-late 20s and he hasn't gotten any in a.......very long time. (I'm being VERY nice here to assume that he has?) He's not a bad looking guy, and he has a nice car, his own place, and all that...although his jobs don't pay him nearly enough of what he's worth. But he's SO low-confident, that people are turned off. I asked Donna's honest advice about him after he left, and she said that he's a bit "serial killer"-ish with his demeanor and stiff, nervous facial expressions. He's very shy and has a lot of internal self-hatred and low esteem. She said that he seemed fine until he opened his mouth and talked, even though he talked about things that were inoffensive small talk. But maybe that's the problem...he talks about lame ordinary topics that are either boring(e.g., the weather) or an inside joke most people wouldn't understand(e.g., story about a crazy customer at his work). I feel bad!

    Here's the worst part: When my friend was leaving and hugged Donna and Carrie goodbye, they complained later that he had a hard-on and they unfortunately felt it through his clothes when he hugged them. Then they laughed that his dick wasn't very big! (I wouldn't know) They were like, "Wow he must not get any if he gives such a long, embracing, gropey hug, and if a simple hug is enough to arouse him."

    I feel so bad! I really thought there was hope for him, since he's NOT a bad looking guy, he's educated, and is financially self sufficient -- but after all these years of knowing him and see him constantly get rejected, and hearing bad testimonies even from the "nice girls" that I'm friends with, I'm really starting to wonder if maybe the "fine art" of dating/socializing/sex is just something he doesn't have the "talent" for. I don't know what to do! Help! Ideas?

  2. #2
    Featured Member DJ Machismo's Avatar
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    Aside from possibly finding someone to hook him up with, it just sounds like he's going to need to get his shit together and start focusing on becoming more self confident and in general a more interesting/fun person to be around. If he doesn't help himself I don't know if there is much you can do.
    Guy #1: I'd totally hit that.
    Guy #2: Dude, I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England.

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    why are you friends with him? he sounds creepy.

  4. #4
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    Quote Originally Posted by fancygirl View Post
    why are you friends with him? he sounds creepy.
    LOL! You are just like all the other girls who get a bad perception of him.

    He's really NOT creepy. He's shy, unconfident, and very very sensitive. I've known him for about 6 yrs, back when we went to college together. The sad part is, he's gotten worse over the last 6 yrs. When I first met him, he was kinda dorky and insecure but not too bad. After college when he couldn't find a job and was stuck living at home, driving a POS beater car, and using his hard-earned degree to work at a grocery store because no better job would hire him, his self-esteem plummeted. His horrible experiences with women(or shall I say, lack of experience?) year after year has also contributed to this. It seems like nothing ever goes right for this guy unfortunately.

    I wouldn't say he's creepy at all -- he's a great friend, a good listener, and very loyal -- but I can see where some people might perceive him to be. he looks 5-10yrs older than his age and he has a unibrow. When he's in social settings, he tends to look miserable and self-conscious, and his facial expressions are definitely NOT his selling point. I try to help him but I can't.

    All I have left to say is this: Lately I've been down and depressed about not being able to get a boyfriend...it seems like no guy likes me or thinks I have "good chemistry" or is mesmerizing enough. Well...my friend's plight last night reminded me to be very thankful for the things I have. As much as hook-ups can be slutty, dangerous(STD risks), and won't exactly do much for me if I'm trying to convince people that I want a serious relationship, at least I have that...which is WORLDS better than no boyfriend + no sex + virginity-by-default. And at least I don't have people calling me "creepy." It's really really sad for my friend.

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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    Oh Mork.

    Feature costumes for sale!

  6. #6
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Machismo View Post
    Aside from possibly finding someone to hook him up with, it just sounds like he's going to need to get his shit together and start focusing on becoming more self confident and in general a more interesting/fun person to be around. If he doesn't help himself I don't know if there is much you can do.
    I tell him ALL THE TIME that he needs to boost his confidence and start treating himself more respectfully, but here is what he says and admittedly I can't really argue with him on feeling this way: He has nothing to be confident about, hence no basis for confidence or pride. If he got laid just once, at least he would have that experience to draw upon...getting laid wouldn't magically solve all his life problems, but it would DEFINITELY help him, since he essentially has the self-conscious stigma of a scarlet "V" on his forehead. (NOTE: I have respect for people who choose to stay virgins because they're waiting for marriage. However, this guy is NOT one of them! He is what you'd call virgin-by-default. He can pretend and try to convince himself that he's choosing to hold out, but in reality he'd know he's just kidding himself and in denial)

  7. #7
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver View Post
    Oh Mork.
    Oh how did you ever guess it was him? Well I've been kinda unofficially banned from mentioning the word "M--k" here, so I figured I wouldn't mention any name for him at all LOL.

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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    ^ m--k isnt a name...

    anyway, maybe you could get him, you know, a makeover. if youre so concerned about helping him, why are you letting him walk around with a unibrow?

  9. #9
    Veteran Member LiveFree's Avatar
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    As a female friend, you owe it to him to give him a makeover Get off that unibrow! Buy him some cool clothes on his birthday!

    As his self-image improves, his self-loathing will diminish, which is good for him AND for you.

  10. #10
    Veteran Member LiveFree's Avatar
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    Fuck off britt.


  11. #11
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    haha, beat ya!

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    buy him a prostitute.

    hello, craigslist!

  13. #13
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    Okay guys. I tried to give him a makeover before. Trust me he looks a LOT better than he used to. He has like zero fashion sense and zero money for new clothes...until I took him shopping, he was wearing ugly clothes such as classic tapered-leg jeans with faded worn-out polo shirts and henleys that his mom probably bought for him 2/$14.99 at Sears back in 1996(I'm dead serious! That's how bad he dressed!). Luckily, I took him shopping and bought him more flattering, up-to-date sweaters, button-down shirts, T-shirts, and khakis. A leather jacket and a few pairs of new shoes too!

    I would like to do more with his appearance, but there's only so much he'll let me do. It was like pulling teeth just to get him to try on some of the sweaters in the store dressing rooms. He refuses to let me pluck his eyebrows, dye his hair, or pierce anything. I think he's scared...scared of the pain, and scared of supposedly looking worse than he already does.

    It's not even his appearance that's the big deal...it's the way he carries himself. He is always positioning himself in ways that scream "I have no self-esteem!" such as the way he slouches or props his face up with his hand. Sometimes he has these blank expressions on his face -- he can't help it. As far as the other stuff, other girls are peeved by it but I really don't notice it...but maybe that's because I'm a very tolerant person, plus he's my friend so I don't notice foibles as much.

    Okay as for the prostitute idea...possible, but I am scared that he will get an STD. I had my own STD scare a few months ago, and I would never wish anything scary like that on my friend, even if it's just a false alarm like I had. Also, I really shouldn't be investing several hundred dollars when I'm so concerned about paying off my car loan and saving for a house, ya know? But I'm still toying with the idea of a prostitute nonetheless...aw man, why can't a regular girl just accept M--k's foibles as shyness/social anxiety, not judge him super harshly, and just do him already???!! LOL.

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    Philly, he's so deep into that downward spiral, there isn't a way out anymore. Trust me, I've looked and there are no exit signs. A psychiatrist probably can't make him feel better about himself, but might have drugs that can at least take the pain away. You could encourage him to find that sort of help, but beyond that his fate is sealed and life will only get worse for him with each passing year.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver View Post
    Oh Mork.
    Oh Mork. When will you ever win?

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    Quote Originally Posted by PhillyDancer1982 View Post
    But I'm still toying with the idea of a prostitute nonetheless...aw man, why can't a regular girl just accept M--k's foibles as shyness/social anxiety, not judge him super harshly, and just do him already???!! LOL.
    Oh God no...he's much better off with people thinking he's a stalker!
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    "can't a regular girl just accept M--k's foibles as shyness/social anxiety, not judge him super harshly, and just do him already???!!"


    I know it must be hard to care so much about a person, and worry and such.

    But it isn't girls' fault that he isn't getting any.

    I'm sorry, I agree with the creepy vibe. Most girls want a guy that can hold his own in social situations, not someone they have to babysit. And there's plenty of guys who are good looking, financially stable, and non-creepy, so why SHOULD they settle for less?

    He needs to pull himself together. If he isn't willing to change, then you shouldn't worry about it either...obviously you cant help.

  18. #18
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    Cerously, time to shoot him and put him out of his misery. It would be the merciful thing to do.

    Kidding, kidding. I've been the "odd one out" at a party where everyone ended up coupling. No big deal, he excused himself when it was time to go. The hard-on part was really creepy though.

    You need to send M--k to the SC to pay for attention...after you help him get a job that pays decently. He's a LOSER!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    And STD would be a badge of honor for him. But its not like he can even afford a halfway decent whore unless you bankrolled it.'

    M-indfuc-k needs to meet my friend T-Y to see himself in his mid 30's, same position. Tough love? Scared straight? Scared sexy?

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  20. #20
    Veteran Member LiveFree's Avatar
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    Does he even want to get laid ? Maybe he's...asexual

    Or he just has a low sex drive..which is fine. Maybe he should find success in some other areas in life...introduce him to world of warcraft ?

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    Senior Member muhuwahaha's Avatar
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    Philly I think you know I really sympathize with your friend. I tried helping him before. I guess he's still down on the dumps.

    He needs to surround himself with people that respect him. How the fuck can you tell if a guy has a small dick by a simple grind? for all you know the guy could've been semi and he could have the biggest dick the world has ever seen. Your friends are simply busting his balls because they want to.

    With the above said, your friend is surrounded by people that don't respect him. He needs to GTFO of that scenario ASAP.

    And if you want to help him, stop pitying him and treat him like a man.

    If he wants to help himself, he should focus on things that make him happy and will improve him at the same time. He also needs needs a new circle of friends.

    Also a prostitute won't help him at all. So he'll get laid..big deal, its just pussy. Pussy he paid for nontheless..he'll probably go into depression lol

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    Veteran Member LiveFree's Avatar
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    muahaha you could introduce him to those PUA forums

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    Senior Member muhuwahaha's Avatar
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    Quote Originally Posted by LiveFree View Post
    muahaha you could introduce him to those PUA forums
    If he's as creepy as they say he'll go to jail for sexual harassment LOL.

    Honestly, I only know one...and most of the time it isn't even focused on picking up women.

    I could give him a thing or 2 to read...it doesn't have much to do with women though, but rather self improvement for men.

    Given his economical situation and age, there is no reason why he should be miserable.

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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    Philly, I don't know your friend like others here seem to, so I may be missing this entirely. I am wondering if he simply needs to be around another crowd. It sounds to me like he has a lot in common with you, and you sound as though you have an expansive personality and can get along with anyone. But it sounds as if some of the others were being quickly judgmental of him, and maybe this is the problem--that he feels this judgment and goes into a tailspin. What are his interests? Maybe the guy just needs to be around people with similar interests, and in that situation he'll relax and find someone with more in common. In other words, my guess is that he is trying to live up to some image, and is doing so around people who are simply not like him. You clearly know him on a deeper level, so maybe you can send him in the right direction: sounds like he'll listen to you. I actually don't think his situation seems so unsual--he's just on the wrong playing field. We've all been there at some point or another.

    Hope that's some help.
    JK Jim

  25. #25
    Veteran Member LiveFree's Avatar
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    Default Re: My guy friend was a 7th wheel on St Patty's Day

    Quote Originally Posted by muhuwahaha View Post
    If he's as creepy as they say he'll go to jail for sexual harassment LOL.

    Honestly, I only know one...and most of the time it isn't even focused on picking up women.

    I could give him a thing or 2 to read...it doesn't have much to do with women though, but rather self improvement for men.

    Given his economical situation and age, there is no reason why he should be miserable.
    Mork needs improvement, methinks.

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