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Thread: help w/regular

  1. #1
    Featured Member Victoryx0x0's Avatar
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    Default help w/regular

    Okay so for about 6 months i had a regular come in just to see me. He is very young, about 19, he is a very nice dude, he spends alot, hes polite etc.. i like him as a regular...


    the only problem is, he is like really infatuated with me. he wouldnt harm me or act jealous or anything. he just does not understand the whole fantasy this is not real i am a dancer not ur girlfriend concept. he would come in 3-4 times a month, he BEGS to chill with me out of the club, but i do not chill with anyone out of the club! I made the mistake in giving him my number becuz he used to text me all day long. i didnt mind at first but after a while it gets annoying.
    well a month ago, he came to the club and his intention was NOT to spend, not to tip, dance or anything, just talk and hang out with me. thats NOT cool= game over. he got really offended because: hellooo i left to go make money i am working! then the next day he texts me sayin, all u like is my money etc i knew it because u left when i didnt give u money, and he cursed me out! i finally blew my cool and called him blasting on him, "THIS IS NOT REAL, VICTORY IS FAKE, I AM MARRIED IN REAL LIFE, I AM JUST A FANTASY... AND NOW YOU ARE CUT OFF!! NO I WILL NEVER CHILL WITH YOU! i will never kiss you or bang you and your not even my type!"
    the next day he came into my job, i completely ignored him, and he left. that was a month ago, now last night he calls me, just to say hello. we had a friendly convo... so should i try to get him back as a regular or is this just not worth the B.S? the money WAS good w/him and he is very easy customer very polite! how would i get him back as a customer? i feel so bad tho feel like i really hurt his feelings he really is nice and seems like he needs a friend.

  2. #2
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: help w/regular

    I'd say try to get him back,but dont try too hard and make it CRYSTAL clear that this is a fantasy,just for fun and you are NOT his girlfriend.Ask if he can live within those confines...if he can..cool..you go back to having fun and making money. If not..you know to move on.

  3. #3
    Featured Member Victoryx0x0's Avatar
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    Default Re: help w/regular

    Thanks cameron.. i do agree i should try and get him back, i do not know what to say or what approach to take. also i feel somewhat guilty so i guess maybe i should apologize for blasting him.

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    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: help w/regular

    I was watching this TV show called MANSWERS on Spike TV a few months ago. They had a section on 'how to date a stripper'.

    Their main point? Go 'hang out' at the club. Don't spend money because the women won't respect you. Then throw a party and women will see you as a friend.

    WTF??????

    ..anyway. I'm trying to say that it sounds like he is trying to be very very clumsily manipulative.

    It's also possible at his age that he spent all of his money on you already but acts entitled to your time.

    Don't worry about him being lonely. *Companionship is what you provide for money. it is your job. If he doesn't respect that and tries to take that special kind of companionship from you without paying, he's doing you a MAJOR disservice and also becoming more distorted about what real human interactions should be like.*

    and good luck!

  5. #5
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: help w/regular

    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    I was watching this TV show called MANSWERS on Spike TV a few months ago. They had a section on 'how to date a stripper'.

    Their main point? Go 'hang out' at the club. Don't spend money because the women won't respect you. Then throw a party and women will see you as a friend.

    Beleive it or not, I saw this segment on TV -- AT MY CLUB. I don't know why or how it happened to be on. I think it was random chance, but I was not impressed.

    To the OP: regular customers usually have a shelf-life, and this one may be past his. Especially if he is young, and a little naive about how strip clubs work.

    He was definitely "testing" you to see if you were all about the money, and surprise, you were all about the money. That's fine. That's your job. Unfortunately, that may have blown the illusion for him.

    If I were you, I would tell it to him straight: you like his company and enjoy seeing him in the club, but you can't have a relationship with him in real life, and if he can't accept that, you can't see each other any more. He may not come back if you say this, but if he DOES, you have a good chance of having a drama-free customer/stripper relationship with him for a while longer.

    My approach has always been to be honest, and while plenty of customers have left, the ones who have stuck around have been gold. There are girls who can and do string customers on for months and even years, but I find it simpler not to do this.

    Remember, regulars ARE great, but you can make money without them. Never get stuck on the idea that you can't. If you start feeling like you NEED a regular, they have leverage over you, which can suck.

  6. #6
    Featured Member Victoryx0x0's Avatar
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    Default Re: help w/regular

    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    I was watching this TV show called MANSWERS on Spike TV a few months ago. They had a section on 'how to date a stripper'.

    Their main point? Go 'hang out' at the club. Don't spend money because the women won't respect you. Then throw a party and women will see you as a friend.

    WTF??????

    ..anyway. I'm trying to say that it sounds like he is trying to be very very clumsily manipulative.

    It's also possible at his age that he spent all of his money on you already but acts entitled to your time.

    Don't worry about him being lonely. *Companionship is what you provide for money. it is your job. If he doesn't respect that and tries to take that special kind of companionship from you without paying, he's doing you a MAJOR disservice and also becoming more distorted about what real human interactions should be like.*

    and good luck!
    thank you for advice, very helpful= yes i agree he was def trying to be manipulative and pull a fast one one me... lol
    wow i saw MANSWERS for the first time IN MY CLUB not too long ago, do you want to know something crazy? (off topic) i could swear on my LIFE I saw Melonie (the poster here) on there...
    what is the deal with that advice ive heard it so much, how to date a stripper, DONT spend money?? lmao- u losers dont even get my time of day!
    This kid has TONS of money. seriously. he has a STACK in his pocket tied with a rubberband. it doesnt seem like he cares too much about it either. thats why im even considering getting him back as a customer. i just need to figure out a way to smooth things over and make sure he understands the concept that this is just fantasy world.

  7. #7
    Featured Member Victoryx0x0's Avatar
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    Default Re: help w/regular

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    Beleive it or not, I saw this segment on TV -- AT MY CLUB. I don't know why or how it happened to be on. I think it was random chance, but I was not impressed.

    To the OP: regular customers usually have a shelf-life, and this one may be past his. Especially if he is young, and a little naive about how strip clubs work.

    He was definitely "testing" you to see if you were all about the money, and surprise, you were all about the money. That's fine. That's your job. Unfortunately, that may have blown the illusion for him.

    If I were you, I would tell it to him straight: you like his company and enjoy seeing him in the club, but you can't have a relationship with him in real life, and if he can't accept that, you can't see each other any more. He may not come back if you say this, but if he DOES, you have a good chance of having a drama-free customer/stripper relationship with him for a while longer.

    My approach has always been to be honest, and while plenty of customers have left, the ones who have stuck around have been gold. There are girls who can and do string customers on for months and even years, but I find it simpler not to do this.

    Remember, regulars ARE great, but you can make money without them. Never get stuck on the idea that you can't. If you start feeling like you NEED a regular, they have leverage over you, which can suck.
    that is soo true, i do not keep regulars either he was pretty much my only constant one. I will try your approach, but only if he tries to contact me again. it seems obvious that he wants to try and come back anyways if he called right? I do find it much easier to make more money without a regular there because they seem to not want to let you leave to circle the crowd for other potential customers. i see your honesty has worked for you i am def going to try this! tho i think the illusion is gone i might stand a chance to bring it back!

  8. #8
    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: help w/regular

    Quote Originally Posted by Victoryx0x0 View Post
    This kid has TONS of money. seriously. he has a STACK in his pocket tied with a rubberband. it doesnt seem like he cares too much about it either. thats why im even considering getting him back as a customer. i just need to figure out a way to smooth things over and make sure he understands the concept that this is just fantasy world.
    He is probably showing off his rent money to you. This is very common. Guys will do things like cash out their paycheck and show off their green -- but NEVER intend to use it for anything other than rent, utilities, cell phone bill, etc. It's not real, expendable money.

    Don't see him as money that you have to get -- see him as something that is blinding you to all of the REAL opportunities to make money.

    You know how sometimes, a girl will sit a guy all night because he promises her money and ignores all of the other guys sitting by themselves?

    Don't be that girl! Be a money maker, not a worrier!

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    Default Re: help w/regular

    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    He is probably showing off his rent money to you. This is very common. Guys will do things like cash out their paycheck and show off their green -- but NEVER intend to use it for anything other than rent, utilities, cell phone bill, etc. It's not real, expendable money.
    Especially the rubber band. I RUN at the sight of a stack with a rubber band unless they are throwing it on me onstage. I've never had a guy give me money who had a banded stack, more than a couple of dollars. Even drug dealers (Or other cash business havers) have an actual wallet!

  10. #10
    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: help w/regular

    I would only suggest taking him back if you did make it crystal clear that he was only paying for the fantasy in the club. Otherwise it sounds like a huge headache. I've cut off guys like that. Same situation actually. This young guy who started blowing up my phone. I went off on him for it the same what you did and he came in later with $800 in twenties. He kept trying to buy dances from me but it was the same shit. He still couldn't drop the whole OTC thing, so finally I told him to spend his money on someone else who he may get somewhere with. He didn't.
    I'm confused, but the Chewbacca Truffle Shuffle cleared it up. - Emily

  11. #11
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: help w/regular

    I seriously doubt his intention was to become your regular again. I'd go with what Cameron says. If he still won't spend, tell him that his texts are too expensive for you to continue talking with him.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  12. #12
    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: help w/regular

    Great advice so far. My angle at this point would be to tell him that he "hurt my feelings" when he came in and got offended that you wouldn't sit with him for free because you realized he doesn't respect your job. And that's why you flipped out a little bit: hurt feelings. Act very sincere and hurt. Lots of guys go a wet flimsy one when a girl is near tears. It's man kryptonite.

    I've had this happen. I did the above and and the guy was like, "No, I'm sorry. I was out of line. I understand, you're here to work." It's a long shot, but fuck it. As Cam said, it's definitely worth a minimal amount of effort.

  13. #13
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: help w/regular

    Quote Originally Posted by Dottie Rebel View Post
    Lots of guys go a wet flimsy one when a girl is near tears. It's man kryptonite.
    Hahahahaha, I'm so stealing that line!!
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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