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Thread: Only in America

  1. #1
    Veteran Member lethalsoul's Avatar
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    Default Only in America

    Only in America

    Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

    Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

    Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
    Driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

    Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

    Only in America ... ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
    EVER WONDER ...

    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?
    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

    Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

    Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

    Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

    If flying is so safe,
    Why do they call the airport the terminal?
    lethalsoul

  2. #2
    Veteran Member naughty_princess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Only in America

    lol i like these!

  3. #3
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Only in America

    "I" can put on mascara with my mouth closed

  4. #4
    Veteran Member dancinslifoxxx17's Avatar
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    Default Re: Only in America

    That was pretty good.
    It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird

    Blessed Be

  5. #5
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Only in America

    Only in every western civilization, really.


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  6. #6
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Only in America

    Also, I put mascara on with my mouth closed JUST because of this statement.


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  7. #7
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: Only in America

    The reason I think the pharmacy does that is for inventory cause they can't keep all the pills in the front.

    I too apply mascara with my moth closed.

  8. #8
    God/dess Bob_Loblaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Only in America

    Quote Originally Posted by lethalsoul View Post
    Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
    I always find this so maddening!

  9. #9
    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Only in America

    America is great.

  10. #10
    Veteran Member LiveFree's Avatar
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    Default Re: Only in America

    "Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front."

    I think this is to make robberies more difficult, and to facilitate movements to and from the laboratory.

  11. #11
    Newbie mikez's Avatar
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    Default Re: Only in America

    Would a fly without wings be called a walk?????

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Only in America

    Quote Originally Posted by mikez View Post
    Would a fly without wings be called a walk?????
    No, a maggot.

    Anyways, I have read these before but they are still funny to me.

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