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Thread: Honesty vs Fantasy?

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    Veteran Member VeraLynn's Avatar
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    Default Honesty vs Fantasy?

    I've found that most dancers have "work" personalities, lives, etc. It hadn't occurred to me to lie about myself when I started dancing, and so for the 8 years off and on (mostly on!) I've danced, honesty has been my policy. It also makes it easier, as I don't have to remember what I've been telling people.

    For safety reasons, I'll obviously not get too detailed about some things. Many customers have told me that they love, love, LOVE my honesty.

    What do you think? Which do you prefer?
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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    Quote Originally Posted by VeraLynn View Post
    I've found that most dancers have "work" personalities, lives, etc. It hadn't occurred to me to lie about myself when I started dancing, and so for the 8 years off and on (mostly on!) I've danced, honesty has been my policy. It also makes it easier, as I don't have to remember what I've been telling people.

    For safety reasons, I'll obviously not get too detailed about some things. Many customers have told me that they love, love, LOVE my honesty.

    What do you think? Which do you prefer?
    My favourite dancer is the same. What she doesn't wish to share she just says so, but that is a rare thing...I don't try to pry, and she has shared so much. We both know the score so it's relaxed and easy and fun.

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    An interesting question.

    A part of my brain says I prefer honesty but (and don't laugh), I don't entirely trust my brain about this either. I think the reality is I prefer to hear honesty when it is positive, else fantasy if that feels better in a SC. Remember, I said don't laugh!

    My guess is if customers knew what dancers were really thinking, completely honesty, you'd have very few customers left. I suppose there is an honesty by omission, but let me ask you this (to the OP)...

    So if a customer says "is this turning you on baby?" (or something like that) and the fact is he grosses you out, your response would be what?

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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    I'm honest to a fault. They think I'm being funny and laugh.

    No really, your beard DOES look like an unshaved pussy.

    Oh well, they still give me money.


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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    Quote Originally Posted by VeraLynn View Post
    What do you think? Which do you prefer?
    Personally, I would choose honesty over fantasy. I have never succumbed to the temptation of making promises I had no intentions of keeping and I know I wouldn't like to be on the receiving end of that either. The longest lasting ITC relationships I've had were all with girls who did not attempt to be misleading. Over time, some of them even became legit friends.
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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    I actually don't think this is the best, most accurate or most useful way of couching the question.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    ^^^Yeah. The angle is clear.

    I'm a different person for every customer.

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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    My question is how do they know you are being honest? You could just tell honest-sounding lies. (Not saying the OP is lying, just seems kind of a hard thing to make a call on)

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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    ^^^

    Thats what I do! BTW my name is Katie and I grew up in Chicago, Wicker Park specifically. I have two sisters and got my BA in Education from UNLV.
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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    Well I guess I want honesty... but my conversations are usually about generic things, traveling, music, sports, etc... So yeah in that I want honesty.

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    Veteran Member Lapaholic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    mmm ... Well - I have to agree with Jester - most convos are so innocuous as to not require lying. Except where u say Im fascinating, handsome and sexy beyond all logic - those lies are fine w/ me!!!

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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    I don't necessarily expect a dancer to be 100% honest with me. However, I do appreciate genuineness, that is, feeling that I'm interacting with a real, three-dimensional human being, not just a contrived stage persona. As some above have suggested, there are probably situations where we'd just as soon NOT know what a dancer really thinks. But the whole SC experience is much more satisfying (not to mention sexy) when I can relate to a dancer on a personal level.

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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    I'm honest when its called for..about everything but personal info. Actually..for anything but that,I"m honest to a fault usually..I will walk up to a guy and say things like "God...why would you wear a multi colored striped shirt??You look like the MC for a gay pride parade!"

    Funny enough...in places where custies are normal(aka..not just trolling for hookers) they love me for this. The bitchier I am the more they love me.They always tell me that they love finally finding a stripper that doesnt fake kiss their ass for money!In fact..one guy even wrote this long entry on stripclublist.com about me..described me as a total bitch..in a good way..and said I renewed his interest in strip clubs!

    Oh..and if they come back at me (in a joking way..which is how I always say it) and we can banter all night...I adore them!! Any guy that speaks smartass is cool in my book!

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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    I guess like some other posters stated it's on a individual basis. I have one regular who I have been chatting with since the beginning of time and for some reason I just don't feel like I need to lie. We talk about his wife, girlfriends and kids and I talk about my boyfriend and family. Some customers I completely lie to because that's what they want to hear. It's funny though I have a better relationship with the guy that I tell the truth to.

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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    Quote Originally Posted by jester214 View Post
    Well I guess I want honesty... but my conversations are usually about generic things, traveling, music, sports, etc... So yeah in that I want honesty.
    In this sort of situation, there's no lying needed generally. It's more for the info collector guys, which seems to regional.

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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    Quote Originally Posted by jester214 View Post
    my conversations are usually about generic things, traveling, music, sports, etc... So yeah in that I want honesty.

    I try to keep my conversations with customers along these lines. That way I don't have to lie. I think every guy can appreciate honesty when it comes to music. Most guys like it that I don't just sit there and agree with them on everything. I got into a debate one night with a guy about how I hated Dave Matthews Band and it was actually fun! We had fun bantering back and forth all night about music and movies. It made for good conversation and he was turned on with the fact that I had my own opinions and personality that I stuck to.

    Now, when subjects come up about sex and marital status, that's where I shutter. I hate talking about those things. Because A.) I'm married, happily. B.) No, I am not some big sexual deviant. I just like normal romantic sex. C.) No, I've never been with a girl, I have no interest in doing so, and I don't want to meet your friend. Lets not forget... D.) No, your attempt to finger me and suck my nipples is NOT turning me on, and I am not attracted to you.
    Not saying that every guy is into those things, but 98% of the ones I have talked to about this stuff have been. It's just my luck.

    A sour subject is politics. Bringing up politics and disagreeing on them is one way to kill a mood. I will always be honest about politics, whether I am at work or not. So if we are gelling and having a good time, don't ask me what I think about the elections and if I am Democrat or Republican

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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    Quote Originally Posted by CherryBomb954 View Post
    I try to keep my conversations with customers along these lines. That way I don't have to lie. I think every guy can appreciate honesty when it comes to music. Most guys like it that I don't just sit there and agree with them on everything. I got into a debate one night with a guy about how I hated Dave Matthews Band and it was actually fun! We had fun bantering back and forth all night about music and movies. It made for good conversation and he was turned on with the fact that I had my own opinions and personality that I stuck to.
    Exactly, I can have a great convo and neither of us has to say anything ridiculous or untrue...

    I also don't want to hear how "hot I'm making you" or "how huge I am"... So in that area again I like honesty... well don't tell me I'm tiny or repulsive either... just avoid saying those thigns...

    garr... you get it

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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    Seriously, if you are any good, how am I going to know?

    I don't ask a lot of questions when I meet a new lady, I let her set the tone. What I don't like is obvious BS. BS about education, BS about other dancers, BS about careers outside of dancing ( I had a 20 year old swear to me about six years ago that she flew choppers in the army and was just taking a break dancing).

    If I am having a good time we are going to do some dances. If I enjoy the dances I will be back. I'm not going to bug you for your real name or where you live. I would much rather talk about things that don't have to involve you lying about anything. Television, Movies, hobbies, whatever!

    I guess the best way I can sum it up is that I want a drama-free entertainment experience.
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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseLeigh View Post
    My question is how do they know you are being honest?
    To be truthful, I'm pretty sure someone who practices fantasy acting all day 5+ days a week could pull quite a lot of wool over my eyes. I'd like to think I can see through anything, but it just isn't so.

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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    What I don't know won't hurt me. What I do get to know is usually benign stuff anyways.

    I'm actually stunned how much dancers reveal about themselves to me. Whether its truthful or not is really of no consequence. I mean its not like I'm going to check up on it or anything.
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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    I visit the same club over and over and because of certain nuances of my personality I tend to drift towards regulardom as opposed to "fire and forget" customer/dancer interactions at various clubs. I choose to believe I develop relationships over time with the dancers I hang out with. Those "relationships" truly do motivate me to spend more money on them during the course of purchasing my entertainment. Therefore, I appreciate a dancer being consistent in both word and deed. If a dancer needs to make notes in order to ensure that what she tells me today will hold up under scrutiny next week or the week after, I believe my bar of consistency is not an unreasonable expectation.

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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    The "honesty" factor does not matter to me in an SC. As long as you are charming and can make me smile...it will be all good.

    In the really real world I offer and expect honesty from those around me.

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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    I'm honest when its called for..about everything but personal info. Actually..for anything but that,I"m honest to a fault usually..I will walk up to a guy and say things like "God...why would you wear a multi colored striped shirt??You look like the MC for a gay pride parade!"

    Funny enough...in places where custies are normal(aka..not just trolling for hookers) they love me for this. The bitchier I am the more they love me.They always tell me that they love finally finding a stripper that doesnt fake kiss their ass for money!In fact..one guy even wrote this long entry on stripclublist.com about me..described me as a total bitch..in a good way..and said I renewed his interest in strip clubs!

    Oh..and if they come back at me (in a joking way..which is how I always say it) and we can banter all night...I adore them!! Any guy that speaks smartass is cool in my book!
    I think we have a similar style! Hahahaha.


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    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
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    Veteran Member VeraLynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    An interesting question.

    A part of my brain says I prefer honesty but (and don't laugh), I don't entirely trust my brain about this either. I think the reality is I prefer to hear honesty when it is positive, else fantasy if that feels better in a SC. Remember, I said don't laugh!

    My guess is if customers knew what dancers were really thinking, completely honesty, you'd have very few customers left. I suppose there is an honesty by omission, but let me ask you this (to the OP)...

    So if a customer says "is this turning you on baby?" (or something like that) and the fact is he grosses you out, your response would be what?
    My response would be truthful, if they were grossing me out, but I wouldn't be that blunt. I'd probably say that it was a little wierd, and please stop. (Sorry, had to edit, didn't read question completely before answering)

    When I say honesty, I mean.. I am being totally myself. My personality shows as myself and when asked where I live, it's in the (city) area, which is 100% true. They also ask if I'm single. I'm not, and am engaged. I tell them the truth, and I still make money! I don't put on a fake personality or tell about a fake life that I don't have. I am me, and that's all... but I am still a dancer! Some things have to be played into.
    Last edited by VeraLynn; 03-24-2008 at 06:57 PM.
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    Veteran Member VeraLynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Honesty vs Fantasy?

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseLeigh View Post
    My question is how do they know you are being honest? You could just tell honest-sounding lies. (Not saying the OP is lying, just seems kind of a hard thing to make a call on)
    I could tell all customers that I'm single. That I live in whatever city. That I don't have a regular job (or if I say I do, I make up something really prestigious... or dumbed down on purpose).

    Do customers want to come in and meet a girl who is whatever she thinks they want to hear (fantasy)? Or do they appreciate the honest truth?

    That's really the question.
    Modeling photos, bio, & lots more at


    "A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." -Herm Albright

    "Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud." -Sophocles

    "A stripper takes off her clothes; she does not have to take off her dignity."
    -One of Indie's Girlfriends

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