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Thread: trying so hard

  1. #1
    Featured Member needtodance's Avatar
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    Angry trying so hard

    Apologize in advance, but this is going to be a rant.

    I am going fucking CRAZY with the state of my life right now! its so hard for me to make money in PDX because of my age(for another three months, LMAO) and i have NO other job options. I'm tired of hearing "well maybe you should get another job". I havent even been able ot get an interview for a fucking minimum wage cashier position in months. The job market here SUCKS.

    I love dancing, i'm happy DOING it, but i've been happy to make above minimum wage, because of being a minor in portland. And I'm fighting just to pay expenses.

    So now my drs office billed some stuff to insurance improperly, and they arent covering all of it like they would if it HAD been sent in properly...

    And the student loans are being asses too... Basiclaly i'm flat broke, even though i'm working my ass off. Had been trying to get a car, which WOULD help me make more money, since i KNOW i've lost a fair amount of modeling gigs due to lack of transportation... COuldnt get financed because the student loans fuck up my debt to income ratio.

    I'd have thought i'd have gotten used to the fear and depression by now. BUt i'm not. Its choking me. I'm 20, and i have NO hope in a viable future, because of my health issues, and todays economy.

    Once again, my mom takes htis opportunity to harass me more. I seriously have spent five hours hysterical, trying to get the woman to let off of me. It almost makes me wish i lived closer to her, just so i COULD smack her. Judgemental bitch.

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! !!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    My pussy eats vibrators like skittles.
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    temporary abortions for everyone?

  2. #2
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: trying so hard

    Oh babe. Want to come over and have dinner tonight? I'm not made of money at the moment so I can't really go out, but K and I will just be hanging out if you want to join us. We can relax and bitch about the shitty economy together over lentil soup and cornbread.

  3. #3
    Featured Member needtodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: trying so hard

    That sounds good. I'm not made of money either, and lentils and cornbread sounds yummy anyways.

    I just gotta get my mood back down. My mom is fucking PSYCHOTIC. I avoid talking to her, and mostly she avoids me nowadays, but when she gets on a righteous kick, like today, she will call and IM for several hours straight until she feels i'm adequatly chastised. I hung up on her SEVEN TIMES before she finally decided i'd "gotten the point.

    LIKE omg i don't know what to do first. Throw up, scream, or have a hysterical crying fit.
    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    My pussy eats vibrators like skittles.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    temporary abortions for everyone?

  4. #4
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: trying so hard

    Do all three, you'll feel better afterward. Then have a nice long hot bath and come eat soup at our house. Soup makes everything better.

  5. #5
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: trying so hard

    First of all...call your Dr and INSIST they deal with your insurance company so that gets straightened out.

    Second...when you have a cpl bucks(I know I know....but at just a cpl hundred) start looking in the paper and craigslist and such to get a used car. Your credit wont matter if you buy it privately. PM me when you find ones you like and I"ll have hubby look over the stats to see if it is a good deal.

    Things will get better..in a cpl months when you are of age you will be making a lot more. Just ride it out until then and tell yourself that it is only temporary.

  6. #6
    Featured Member pinkpvc's Avatar
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    Default Re: trying so hard

    You know what? you SHOULD scream and have a hysterical crying fit. Find yourself an empty room, lock the door (if you can), unhook the phone, and just go for it. I have done this so many times just running about the room like a mad woman screaming and crying and punching pillows/smashing lightbulbs (i find it strangely satisfying to smash lightbulbs lol), for however long it takes.
    Makes me feel a lot calmer afterwards
    *hug*

  7. #7
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    Default Re: trying so hard

    Hang in there! Along with a good Yekhefah fix and Cam's solid advice, I'd add that you CAN do a deferment on your student loan due to financial hardship. I did it once for about a year, though you can negotiate your time frame, if I recall. I believe interest will continue to accrue, so it's not a perfect solution, BUT - it's way better than missing payments and racking up late fees and having that on your credit, or worse - defaulting. That you MUST avoid at all costs.

    Give that a try, or at least look into it! It might give you a little more breathing room, not having to worry about one of your bills for a good while.
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

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