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Thread: The true Zodiac...

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    Default The true Zodiac...

    Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) - You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.

    Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) - You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient, and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick.

    Aries (Mar 23 - April 22) - You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.

    Taurus (April 23 - May 22) - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist.

    Gemini (May 23 - June 22) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.

    Cancer (June 23 - July 22) - You are sympathetic and understanding of other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.

    Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) - You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex.

    Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

    Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

    Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) - You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.

    Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. You are a worthless piece of shit.

    Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22) - You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance.

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    Default Re: The true Zodiac...

    Btw, this is meant to be funny.

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    Default Re: The true Zodiac...

    I don't thrive on incest! Yuck! And I'm not even bisexual.

    It is funny, though. I like what they say about Aries, as it reminds me of my Aries boyfriends.

  4. #4
    beauty21queen
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    Default Re: The true Zodiac...

    Aries (Mar 23 - April 22) - You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.

    Taurus (April 23 - May 22) - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist.
    Im very confident and do not work like hell.I havent worked in 3 weeks. So haha

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    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: The true Zodiac...

    It actually says the same thing as classic astrology...just...more different.

    Scuse me, gotta go back to jail now.


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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The true Zodiac...

    I am a prick. good to know so I can now go buy the tshirt.

  7. #7
    zxcire
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    Default Re: The true Zodiac...

    I'm a gemini, and it all fits except the incest part! I'm totally an intelligent, cheap, bisexual bastard! But I don't like my sister like that...

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    Default Re: The true Zodiac...

    This is Adam Sandler's version of the zodiac. So it's going to be a little ass backwards!

  9. #9
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: The true Zodiac...

    I'm a Leo and it's pretty spot-on, LOL!

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    Default Re: The true Zodiac...

    Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

    Ha, I have fallen asleep while fucking. Does being drunk count?
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Default Re: The true Zodiac...

    The descriptions ARE kinda harsh aren't they??! I have a sick sense of humor so I think it's funn-ay!

    Oh and being drunk does count

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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: The true Zodiac...

    <-- worst of the lot


    Feature costumes for sale!

  13. #13
    Featured Member scorpio's Avatar
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    Default Re: The true Zodiac...

    ya, it's not as far off as you think-it just illustrates (to the far ends) each signs negative traits. Btw, I'm a Scorpio, so go fuck yourselves!

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