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Thread: Can't stop ctying... so stupid and Long!

  1. #1
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    Default Can't stop ctying... so stupid and Long!

    So, the BFF's visiting from out of town and today was her last day here. She, another friend, and I meet up at Denver's version of the Waldorf Astoria for tea before BFF has to hop on a plane and go home.

    I get there, and I'm kinda uncomfortable. I'm not unfamiliar with fancy schmanciness, but I'm also not a "lady who lunches"... fine china and tiny sandwhiches isn't really my bag but fuck it, I'm gonna have a good time with my friends so who cares?

    I set my on the empty seat. Bff says, "do you mind turning it around?"

    I say, "why?"

    "because there's children here"

    "there's only one little girl and her back is to our table..."

    "why don't you just take your top off, too?"

    WTF!!!!!!!

    Seriously, my feelings were really hurt. She apologized a few minutes later, saying she shouldn't have been rude to me but the damage was done. Between the fucking baby squirrel this morning and that comment, I was put over the edge. By the time the scones were served, tears were welling up in my eyes.

    I excused myself and went to the ladies room to let it out. She came in shortly afterwards, apologized profusely, and told me how awful she felt. I know she didn't mean to make a pointed comment, meaning she was commenting on my refinement (or lack there of) more than my former occupation, but it was really fucked up. I'm still upset about it.

    I tried really hard today even though I knew I'd feel out of place. I'm aware of what's acceptable and appropriate and I can look and behave accordingly... I even considered switching purses before tea but decided against it because I thought, "who cares if a few stuffy old ladies get thier knickers in a bunch?" I'm hanging out with my friends and they accept me...

    guess I was wrong.

  2. #2
    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't stop ctying... so stupid and Long!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M View Post

    "why don't you just take your top off, too?"

    that was a straight up bitch comment.

    in the past, I've gotten remarks like this from boyfriends and looking back it reflected on who they were. I just wish that that conclusion came faster.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M View Post
    She apologized a few minutes later, saying she shouldn't have been rude to me but the damage was done.
    if she apologized saying she shouldn't have been rude, this is not an apology of her opinion of you.

    she was just apologizing for not hiding her opinion better.


    edit: it's also like those people who apologize for upsetting you. they're not apologizing for WHAT upset you, merely that you were upset by it.

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    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't stop ctying... so stupid and Long!

    That would have really hurt me, too.

    You should take her to a biker bar next time she wants to hang out, IMO, and tell her to try not to act so prissy, people will think she's judging them.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't stop ctying... so stupid and Long!

    Aw. That's so hurtful. I completely understand why you are so upset.

    But she apologized; it was a mistake - we all make them. She obviously doesn't think your feelings are stupid or meaningless (as much as it may seem that way right now) - it was just a big error in judgment. I'm sure she accepts you and loves you and is actually probably just as upset as you are about what she did. She would probably be devastated if she knew you were still crying about it.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  5. #5
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Can't stop ctying... so stupid and Long!

    that stinks! But we can all say things in the heat of the moment that we don't really mean. I highly doubt that she meant it nearly as bad as it came out.

  6. #6
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: Can't stop ctying... so stupid and Long!

    wtf? your bag wouldnt be insulting to a kid, she probably couldnt even read it, let alone understand it!

    sucks your friends a dickwad. sorry *hugs*

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't stop ctying... so stupid and Long!

    what did the bag say? or what was the picture on it?

    random note: my farty dog gives you big hugs. just hold your breath, kay?

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    Default Re: Can't stop ctying... so stupid and Long!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post

    But she apologized; it was a mistake - we all make them. I'm sure she accepts you and loves you and is actually probably just as upset as you are about what she did. She would probably be devastated if she knew you were still crying about it.
    Yeah, I know you're right... she was genuinely apologetic and very upset with herself so I know she really didn't mean to hurt my feelings.

    I'm okay now. Took a nap with the pooches and husband took me out for a bite. I'm going to the Sketchers store to buy some cute little kicks, then I'll be back to happy. Retail therapy is very effective.

    fancygirl, Your farty dog should have a play date with my farty dogs! BTW, this is my bag:


    Thanks for all the good vibes, and kind words ladies!

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't stop ctying... so stupid and Long!

    ^ ummm, see, the fact that this bag has NOTHING to do with stripping and your friend AUTOMATICALLY came back with a snarky stripper comment makes me disagree with Jenny in that this person doesn't secretly hold bad opinions against you.

    I could see her coming back with:
    " well why don't you just cuss so she can learn a few words" <-- not that that makes sense either but at least it is connected to the bag.

    an anti-stripper comment at this juncture makes NO sense.

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    Default Re: Can't stop ctying... so stupid and Long!

    ^^^I really didn't take it that way and she said she didn't mean it like that. I took it more as a comment about my couth rather than my previous occupation.

    But it's cool, now. I feel better and she's called twice already, both times sounding a little sheepish so I know she still feels bad about it.

    I've had a little time to think about it and we have a Will & Grace-esque relationship, meaning we're always giving eachother a hard time... usually, we just giggle hysterically because we know we don't mean it but sometimes shit happens and one of us gets a bit sensitive and the next thing you know someone's offended. The good news is we can acknowledge when we've hurt eachothers feelings and move on...

  11. #11
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Can't stop ctying... so stupid and Long!

    I'm glad you two are ok!

    personally, maybe a different bag would be better next time, that one is funny, but not really right for a fancy occassion.

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    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't stop ctying... so stupid and Long!

    At least she's sorry for being a bitch. Don't feel too sad hun.

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    Default Re: Can't stop ctying... so stupid and Long!

    aww sweetie! I'm so sorry this happened to you. How rude.

  14. #14
    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't stop ctying... so stupid and Long!

    glad things are ok now.

  15. #15
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: Can't stop ctying... so stupid and Long!

    AWW I'm sorry, glad all is better (hugs)

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    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't stop ctying... so stupid and Long!

    See, I'm the kind that would bring that bag specifically to a fancy occasion just to be misanthropic and poke a little fun at "high" society. Lord knows they need to keep a sense of humor about things.

    I'm sorry this happened. I had a similar relationship with my former best friend.

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