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Thread: Does she really love me?

  1. #1
    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Does she really love me?

    I never thought it would happen, but I'm in love with a dancer.

    She's a cute little thing, just barely nineteen years old, red hair, freckles, and ... braces! I know she loves me, because I asked her did she care if i wore my grungy old sweatpants, and she told me to go ahead, and she didn't even care if I left my boxers off.

    I had nineteen lapdances with her, and she gave me, um, extra service. She said she'd do it for free, but she'd get in trouble with the manager if she didn't collect for each song that was played, so I paid her $25 a song. But for the last nine songs, she wasn't dancing. Her hand was giving my a great HJ. But she had to watch out for the bouncer and the other dancers, so I never quite got all the way because someone always seemed to walk by. I never saw them, but she kept her eyes open to be sure I wouldn't get in trouble. She would have done more, but I ran out of money and maxed out my credit card, so I had to leave. Also, she let me touch her boobies and butt, and, well you know where else--and she told me that I am the first guy she EVER let touch in those places!

    She said she'd like to see me OTC, but she didn't dare, because her father thinks she doesn't date and is saving herself until she finds a guy who is worthy of her. He wants her to marry a virgin who has established himself in business, and he'd get mad if he found out she was dating anyone that wasn't like that. And if her dad didn't find out, then there was the chance that the manager would hear about it and she would get fired, and then how would she pay her tuition at cosmetology school?

    I asked about going to her place, but she said her landlord is mad at her for being two months behind on the rent and won't let her have guests over until she catches up $1800. I'm going to take out a second mortgage and pay the rent for her, and then I will be able to go over there.

    She is such a wonderful girl--already has advanced degrees with dual majors in nuclear physics and animal husbandry because she graduated from high school early. But she is going back for her degree in cosmetology because she thinks that is a less pretentious line of work and doesn't want people to think she is stuck up. I don't think anyone would EVER think she is stuck up, especially since she pronounces "nuclear" just like the president of the United States! And HE isn't stuck up, is he?

    So it may seem strange, but I finally found love in a strip club. She said I'd better be faithful to her and not let any other girls dance for me, and she would really rather not dance for anyone else except she needs the money.

    I am so lucky! And my wife doesn't care either! She said as long as she got the house, I could do anything I wanted.

    But I wonder--do you think this girl really loves me? I think she does. She even told me her real name. Her stripper name is Clemenza, but her real name is Laurie. She wouldn't tell me her real name unless she really loved me, would she? She'd said she'd give me her cell phone number as soon as she got her bill paid and it was working again, too.

    Don't you think I am the luckiest guy who ever walked into a strip club?

  2. #2
    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    Lol, you really believe her stage name is Clemenza?


  3. #3
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    I love a good April fools.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  4. #4
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    Too bad this wasn't a good one
    You can't love something you think is flawless - me


  5. #5
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    ::sigh:: LOL
    Almost had me.. Almost!

  6. #6
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    I thought you had lost you MIND for a minute! April Fool's to you too!
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  7. #7
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    I KNEW this was an Apr. Fools joke just from the title.

  8. #8
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    I was wondering who would pull this April Fool's joke

  9. #9
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    I figured it out from the first line... Mike is way too smart for that stuff. I was disappointed, though... I thought I was going to be able to give some juicy love advice.

    "I asked about going to her place, but she said her landlord is mad at her for being two months behind on the rent and won't let her have guests over until she catches up $1800. " <- I hope I get to use that line one day... pure gold right there.
    Last edited by Bella21; 04-01-2008 at 03:19 PM.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  10. #10
    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    The braces were a nice touch...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  11. #11
    Featured Member saphire123456's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    wow, i actually used a version of that story,
    damn, they're on to me
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

  12. #12
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    DAMN!

    DAMN!

    DAMN!



    Mike straight beat me to it!

  13. #13
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bella21 View Post
    I figured it out from the first line... Mike is way too smart for that stuff.
    Same here.

  14. #14
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    I love it!

  15. #15
    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    Well, even if I didn't fool anyone, I hope I gave you a chuckle. I sure had fun writing it. Sorry you didn't enjoy it sh0t, but you can't please everybody.

  16. #16
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bella21 View Post
    I figured it out from the first line... Mike is way too smart for that stuff.
    yep!

  17. #17
    Featured Member PuertoRicanPinup's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    HEHE that was great!
    "I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy. -Anais Nin"

  18. #18
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    Rhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii .........................
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  19. #19
    Featured Member BrodieLux's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    Hahahaha thanks for a laugh!
    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousSeeker View Post
    ^Pssssttttt, your stripper is showing.

  20. #20
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    HEY...be nice. Dude, I think she really IS in love with you. If it had been 15 lapdances, that would be different. But 19? Yeah...she loves you. But before you propose, stop at the police station and have them escort you...just in case you need to be tasered...but don't sweat that part. No biggie.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  21. #21
    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    haha that was funny

  22. #22
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Madcap View Post
    Mike straight beat me to it!
    Better luck next year, Madcap.

    I thought it was great!
    Quote Originally Posted by Helle View Post
    ::WARNING:: stripperweb does not contain the views of any actual strippers ::WARNING::

  23. #23
    Veteran Member Nini Nieb's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bella21 View Post
    I figured it out from the first line... Mike is way too smart for that stuff. I was disappointed, though... I thought I was going to be able to give some juicy love advice.

    "I asked about going to her place, but she said her landlord is mad at her for being two months behind on the rent and won't let her have guests over until she catches up $1800. " <- I hope I get to use that line one day... pure gold right there.
    That was my favourite part too Because there is absolutely NO logic in that sentence

  24. #24
    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    ^^That is not the only inconsistency written into the story. There is at least one more that was deliberate.

  25. #25
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: Does she really love me?

    You had me worried! you bastard! lol.

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