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Thread: i don't know what to do

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default i don't know what to do

    i know this is long, and i tend to get off point when i type, so bare with me. i just needed to write this all out to get a grip on my situation. i find it helpful. also, i know a lot of you are probably (or were) in similar situations. so i'm up for any advice.

    here goes:

    i started stripping in order to go back to school. prior to that i was a teacher. i found it difficult to be able to go to school full time -and- work more than full time and still barely pay my bills. so, stripping worked for me time/money wise and gave me the ability to be a student.

    now i'm at a point where i want to get out of the stripping business, or at least cut back in a big way. problem is, i'm still in the same situation financially. how do i go to school full time and find anything that pays nearly as well as dancing for as little time?

    even now i'm still living "pay check to pay check" so to speak. that's largely do to the fact that i won't do high contact/friction anymore and (of course) i work in tampa. that being said, i still make as much or more dancing 3-4 days a week, than i did teaching and working overtime.

    i'm in school for fine arts. i want to eventually go into film or advertising (hopefully film). not actually filming, but the creative design/story board/concept art aspect. i'm interning (for free, obviously.. resume building) at 2 galleries right now and i've been using 90% of my "free time" to create art. i hope to open a shop on etsy.com within the next couple of weeks to try to sell some paintings. maybe even do some large scale abstracts commission based, if i get any takers, but that's only a small bit of help.

    i'm rambling. i'm sorry. i'll blame it on paint fumes.

    anyway, to make matters worse, i'm at a point now in school where it's become a HUGE issue that i don't have a mac. my instructor has us do projects which involve using mac specific programs... not to mention a mac IS a good tool for an artist. i don't even have photoshop and it's causing me to fall behind. also (i've mentioned it before but..) my digital camera was broken back in october. i'm having a -really- difficult time putting together my portfolio, taking pictures for an art department book (i'm in charge of two chapters) etc.. without a digital camera. then there's just the cost of art supplies period. they don't call it "starving artist" for nothing.

    i thought i'd be able to manage all of this, but school is just getting more and more expensive, dancing is making me less (and driving me crazy), and i'm not getting any MORE time to "work more" since the gallery stuff, regular school work, etc is taking up more of my time.

    i would get a credit card so i could get a macbook and a camera, since those are my two most pressing issues (well, besides health care, but that's another story) but i have no credit and i've been declined for everything.

    you heard me right. i have no credit. i'm going to be 29 in may and i've never owed any company anything (besides hospital bills). i've paid for everything in cash my entire life because i was afraid of credit. i watched my whole family wreck their lives up playing the credit card game. little did i know i'd be nearly 30 an unable to get a credit card (let alone a house or anything like that). i plan on getting a secured visa through my credit union as soon as i have 500 bucks to say a long temporary good-bye to... but that won't be enough to do the things i need. it'll help in the long run, but it'll still be forever till it works me up enough credit to get a decent limit.

    anyway. that's my current situation. any advice (besides winning the lotto) is welcome. i hope this thread is in the right place. i didn't put this in "stripping general" or "dollar den" because it was about more than just those things. i didn't put it in "ladies only" because i'm open to everyone's opinion.

    *sigh*
    i need a vacation

  2. #2
    Veteran Member sexysunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    i don't know what to say to help but i hope you figure it out. *sending hugs*
    SEXY SUNNY

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    Veteran Member LadyLuck's Avatar
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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    As you mentioned you can start to build some credit with a secured credit card. I believe Orchard Bank offers one with a $200 deposit. That's a fair bit lower than the $500 one you are currently looking at so maybe that will help with that issue.

    As for work, have you considered being a waitress? You should be able to have part time hours as a waitress.

    Can you bartend at all? If so, like being a waitress you should be able to have part time hours and earn more than a waitress. Probably as much or even more than dancing in a no contact club in a typically contact town.
    There never was a good war or a bad peace.

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  4. #4
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    If you have cash..I know hubby is going to be selling his G4 soon and buying a new computer. It already has Photoshop and prob most of what you'd need on it(since he's an artist too)

    I'm not sure what he's selling it for or when exactly..but I can ask. Whats the cap you can pay for a computer?

    As for work..what about webcamming? Its a bit slow right now, but you can do it 24/7 whenever you have free time at home..go on whenever you want,sign off whenever you want. If you can make a cpl hundred a month even..it might help ease the tension of having to dance so many days.

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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    To get that equipment, have you ever tried craigslist? You can get some really good deals there if you keep looking. The good deals go quickly, so check often and you'll eventually find something. Try the electronics and computer sections of http://tampa.craigslist.org/. There can be some killer deals on digital cameras as people tend to dump them when they move up. I've seen some nice 8MP cameras go for under $100.

    In my opinion, you don't need a macbook at this time. They may have the best tools, but you can get by without having to lay out $2000. Do you have a PC? There's a freeware program called GIMP that works pretty much like Photoshop. And it's free! So take a look at what a macbook offers and you may be able to find similar tools that run on your existing computer.

    You can also check out the computer store for your school. Often you can buy student versions of software for next to nothing. If your school doesn't have a computer store, there are online places that will sell student versions.

    And what about student loans? It sounds like they would be perfect for your situation. You may be able to defer repayment until you graduate. You sound like you're a little worried about credit, but the key is use your loans for just the essential things you need for school. Don't buy a $5,000 hot tub like my friend did with his loans. Talk to the financial aid office of your school. They will likely know of many programs you could apply to.

    Putting these expenses on a credit card should be your last resort. The interest they charge really adds up. You may charge $1000 and then end up paying an additional $200-300 in interest when it's all paid off.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    cam, i don't have much expendable cash at the moment, but feel free to let me know the details when he wants to sell. i'll see what i can do. i'll be looking into refurbished macs, craigslist, etc soon as well.

    the secured credit thing i'll be doing regardless, but it's a slow fix.

    btw thanx to those of you who actually read this thread. i know none of you really know me or any reason to read a friggin book i wrote about my current issues. so thank you, really.

    i know everything will be ok eventually, and honestly the saying "it could be worse" is always true. i'm thankful for what i -do- have, no matter how stressed i might be. i'm just frustrated and in a rut right now. i feel like, for every thousand things i do, i only inch foward a little bit.

    it can just be frustrating watching the other students in my classes, with their macbook open, getting work done. or offering to help do whatever and whatever that costs money but is a great resume builder. i do well, but i could be doing a lot better. damned emo college kids with rich parents!!!! heh

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    Senior Member juggernutz's Avatar
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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    cam, i don't have much expendable cash at the moment, but feel free to let me know the details when he wants to sell. i'll see what i can do. i'll be looking into refurbished macs, craigslist, etc soon as well.
    Ebay has lots of ibook portable macintoshs for between 200-320 http://cgi.ebay.com/Apple-iBook-G3-M...QQcmdZViewItem This one has a buy now of 319.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

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    Default Re: i don't know what to do



    Ok. First, I agree with the above poster, look into student loans. You don't have to take out alot of money, but you could use the cash to buy a new computer, the software you need, and defer payment til you graduate. It will also help you build credit.

    Another option, take the summer (or any semester) off of school/internships/etc., and travel somewhere and dance. If you can make better money and concentrate on just working in an environment with less contact, you can save up for your next semester and not feel so pressured to make money while going to class/homework/etc. It may not be ideal, but it's definitely an option (and may lower your stress for a bit, which it sounds like you desperately need).

    Are there any Macs at your school that you can use for projects? Once again, not ideal, but it may be able to get you by until you can afford one. (If you have a friend willing to let you use their computer, that would also work).

    Breathe. There are solutions, it will work out.
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    so what would you need for a used/new macbook? 1100, 1500?

    Have you considered a short working vacation away from Tampa?

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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    damn, girl.. i wish i had an extra compluter lying around i could send ya!!! i can't offer much more than what's already been said- but i really hope it all works out for you. you're an awesome woman and you deserve the best.

    har har, i said compluter.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by head turner View Post
    so what would you need for a used/new macbook? 1100, 1500?

    Have you considered a short working vacation away from Tampa?
    around that, yeah. i -have- considered working away from tampa, but it's difficult for me to get away, even if it's for work. like i said, i intern at two galleries and i'm in school. so, the soonest i could travel anywhere would be the middle of may, and that's just speculating.

    and thank you CC

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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    I know how this is. I took out student loans the past two years for my housing/books/general life stuff expenses. Now that I've been dancing for a year again, I can swing a lot of the expenses (including a few not totally necessary things, like my name change and paying off some $$ back bills that were trashing my credit), but it's still not easy-I can't afford a new/used car right now for example (stupid saving for summer classes) and I'm stressed as hell.

    I agree about craigslist-you can find anything there. You could also try the Amazon wish list route, as was posted in the 'Hitting the SD jackpot' thread!

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    Senior Member juggernutz's Avatar
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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by head turner View Post
    so what would you need for a used/new macbook? 1100, 1500?

    Have you considered a short working vacation away from Tampa?
    Apple entry level Macbook lists for 1099 so with tax and shipping, that would be around $1200 so if you planning on spending that amount, I would buy new. Of course, you still need photoshop but maybe you could find an "evaluation" copy of that software.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

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    Featured Member AmazingKat's Avatar
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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    Its a sucky cycle of not having money because of needing to go to school to get a job but then struggling with school because of lack of money.

    I don't have any brilliant suggestion because I'm in a similar situation with trying to finish school and not being able to handle the high contact. I hope you find a way to make it work, there has to be something, but it seems sometimes like it will take eternity to finish.

    If you do finally get your laptop don't buy software for it. I'm sure there is a way to download it for free and I might be able to help you out with that one. When your a rich artist someday then you'll be able to pay for your software

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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    with mac os x, i think it's possible to run the GIMP, which is a free photoshop clone. also, student pricing is pretty good for things like photoshop and office.

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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    Doesn't sound like dancing is helping you tremendously financially. If you have a history of financial problems maybe working out a budget or just paying closer attention to where you are spending your money would work.

    I didn't get ahead financially either when I danced, I blew a lot of my money. I went into hoping to get a better handle on my finances. Thing is, I didn't fix hardly any of my financial situations. I just bought more "things" and a bigger lease.

    Some girls are better at managing their money and setting spending limits. Some girls can handle the business a lot better mentally/emotionally than others. That's okay. But you have to either change your habits and frame of mind which isn't easy but doable or leave the business. Just my 2 cents.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1 View Post
    Doesn't sound like dancing is helping you tremendously financially. If you have a history of financial problems maybe working out a budget or just paying closer attention to where you are spending your money would work.

    I didn't get ahead financially either when I danced, I blew a lot of my money. I went into hoping to get a better handle on my finances. Thing is, I didn't fix hardly any of my financial situations. I just bought more "things" and a bigger lease.

    Some girls are better at managing their money and setting spending limits. Some girls can handle the business a lot better mentally/emotionally than others. That's okay. But you have to either change your habits and frame of mind which isn't easy but doable or leave the business. Just my 2 cents.
    you misunderstood, i think. i only work 3-4 days a week because that's all i have time for (with school and what-not). i still make at -least- the same, or more than i did teaching 50-60 hours a week.

    it's just not an amazing amount. i don't really spend a lot. probably below average (esp where strippers are concerned). for example, i've bought 1 pair of cheap pants and maybe 2 shirts in the last year. heh

    also, i'm not "not paying my bills". i simply have no extra money to just throw down on big ticket items... and since i have no credit... that isn't an option.

    the #1 reason stipping is "helping me out" is the time it allows me for shcool, gallery work, etc.

    i can't think of any other job (that i would currently qualify for) where i can make as much as i do (even if it may only be 500 a week) in 3-4 shifts.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by AmazingKat View Post
    I hope you find a way to make it work, there has to be something, but it seems sometimes like it will take eternity to finish.
    thanx. and it really does feel that way sometimes. i totally understand what you mean.

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseLeigh View Post
    I agree about craigslist-you can find anything there. You could also try the Amazon wish list route, as was posted in the 'Hitting the SD jackpot' thread!
    do what now? i must have missed said thread.

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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    Penny, if I were in school full time and working at a high contact club 3-4 nights a week I would have a complete freaking melt down, add to that 2 galleries and creating artwork? I don't know how you've been doing it. Because you already are in school you need to put all your focus on developing the most amazing portfolio you can. That's what's going to carry you as an artist into the "real world" after graduation. The other students may have more money but talent and hard work shine and to pull that off you need more time and less stress.

    So, student loans. I hate debt and I also went to an expensive art school, the need to pay off student loans is what inspired me to strip. Think about it this way, concentrating on school will allow you to create an excellent portfolio, develop as an artist, ask all the questions you can, network, etc. After you graduate you could move some place where stripping is lower contact and burn through those loans.

    Instead of a secured CC can't you get a student CC? Then you could use the cash you'd need to start a secured CC for your camera.

    Also, when I was in school I did a lot of freelance piece work for other artists, like jewelry and textile design. Can you make any connections through your galleries to artists that could use some assistance? If you could waitress at a busy restaurant it would be better than dealing with trying to low contact strip in a high contact club. It sounds like you need to get away from stripping and really concentrate on school for a while, hopefully some of these ideas can help you.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by shakti View Post
    Penny, if I were in school full time and working at a high contact club 3-4 nights a week I would have a complete freaking melt down, add to that 2 galleries and creating artwork? I don't know how you've been doing it. Because you already are in school you need to put all your focus on developing the most amazing portfolio you can. That's what's going to carry you as an artist into the "real world" after graduation. The other students may have more money but talent and hard work shine and to pull that off you need more time and less stress.
    i don't know how i'm doing it either. also, i work at a low to medium contact club, but it's about the only one left in my city (most the others are VERY high contact). for that reason, we get a lot a lot a lot of customers expecting more and etc. so yes, it's stressful. i used to do high contact, but i only lasted a few months before needing to get away from it.

    So, student loans. I hate debt and I also went to an expensive art school, the need to pay off student loans is what inspired me to strip. Think about it this way, concentrating on school will allow you to create an excellent portfolio, develop as an artist, ask all the questions you can, network, etc. After you graduate you could move some place where stripping is lower contact and burn through those loans.
    do loans just pay for your school each semester or do they actually write you a check? because i wasn't aware that you had "spendable" money left over. also, i'm scared to death of student loans much for the same reason i was afraid of credit cards. i know waaayyy too many people who are defaulted and having their wages/tax refunds/etc garnished.

    Instead of a secured CC can't you get a student CC? Then you could use the cash you'd need to start a secured CC for your camera.
    i applied for a student visa through my credit union and was denied.

    Also, when I was in school I did a lot of freelance piece work for other artists, like jewelry and textile design. Can you make any connections through your galleries to artists that could use some assistance? If you could waitress at a busy restaurant it would be better than dealing with trying to low contact strip in a high contact club.
    well i'm trying to sell more art coming up soon (on etsy) but i need to borrow a digital camera to take pics of everything (obviously).. which i will be doing this weekend. i'm also going to start trying to make jewelry of my own art, but that's on the backburner, as i'm currently tapped-out time wise. waitressing might would, but it could be difficult finding a restaurant where i would make enough money -and- have a flexible schedule. the whole "hey, i have a gallery opening this week and next week at random times here and here and oh btw i need to hang this show on this day and i have classes at this time this time and this time" thing... requires a really tolerant manager.. im guessing. heh

    It sounds like you need to get away from stripping and really concentrate on school for a while, hopefully some of these ideas can help you.
    i really do, which is why i'm trying to find a way. thank you btw, your insight is helpful and you sound like you understand where i'm coming from.

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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    Damn. A lot of road blocks. Student loans would help you get your computer, but there's the whole application process, so it wouldn't be fast. You're very smart to be wary of loans and credit, and because of that you should be able to do it sensibly so that it helps you. Most people are in a credit mess because they don't pay attention, figure they'll make more money later, and take care of it then.

    This sounds like a situation where something's got to give, and you've got to be careful that it's not your sanity. Maybe drop the gallery and the freedom needed for it and waitress, or find some way to be at peace with stripping even though you hate it. I worked at a gallery 3 days a week and danced 2-3 shifts (after I was done with school) and that was a good way to both build gallery experience and pay off debt, so maybe you could wait until later to do all that?

    What's helped me in impossible situations like this is to write down all of my concerns very specifically, like needing a computer/camera, needing to get out of stripping, etc. then pretty much saying "I give up Universe, it's yours, I've done all I can do and I can't do it anymore, please take over". Keep going through your day as you always do but without the intensity of trying to figure everything out. Small things will start to shift, maybe you have a great night at work and your feelings about stripping change for a little while, or maybe an artist comes into the gallery asking if you know anyone they could hire to work on a project, or maybe someone has a camera they need to sell cheap. Sometimes surrendering is the only solution.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by shakti View Post
    Damn. A lot of road blocks. Student loans would help you get your computer, but there's the whole application process, so it wouldn't be fast. You're very smart to be wary of loans and credit, and because of that you should be able to do it sensibly so that it helps you. Most people are in a credit mess because they don't pay attention, figure they'll make more money later, and take care of it then.

    This sounds like a situation where something's got to give, and you've got to be careful that it's not your sanity. Maybe drop the gallery and the freedom needed for it and waitress, or find some way to be at peace with stripping even though you hate it. I worked at a gallery 3 days a week and danced 2-3 shifts (after I was done with school) and that was a good way to both build gallery experience and pay off debt, so maybe you could wait until later to do all that?

    What's helped me in impossible situations like this is to write down all of my concerns very specifically, like needing a computer/camera, needing to get out of stripping, etc. then pretty much saying "I give up Universe, it's yours, I've done all I can do and I can't do it anymore, please take over". Keep going through your day as you always do but without the intensity of trying to figure everything out. Small things will start to shift, maybe you have a great night at work and your feelings about stripping change for a little while, or maybe an artist comes into the gallery asking if you know anyone they could hire to work on a project, or maybe someone has a camera they need to sell cheap. Sometimes surrendering is the only solution.
    well the thing is, the gallery internships are part of my "advanced" classes. sort of like "you have to have this many hours, etc. etc." not to mention it's good resume building and whatnot.

    and.. i know -something- will work out. i'm just ready for it to happen sooner than later.

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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    do what now? i must have missed said thread.


    Go forth.

    You can get student loans to pay for living expenses. They aren't always that extensive, but if you're at an art school, in an art program, you aren't the first person who's needed it.

    As for Photoshop, my copy appears to be FUBARed but I can try and hunt down a better copy for Windows. (I use PaintNet now myself, but I am not an artist.) Let me know.

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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseLeigh View Post
    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sho...ght=sd+jackpot

    Go forth.

    You can get student loans to pay for living expenses. They aren't always that extensive, but if you're at an art school, in an art program, you aren't the first person who's needed it.

    As for Photoshop, my copy appears to be FUBARed but I can try and hunt down a better copy for Windows. (I use PaintNet now myself, but I am not an artist.) Let me know.
    i actually found the thread earlier, thanks. but i don't think i want to webcamming. it's too.... recordable. permanent evidence and all of that. :/

    as for photoshop, someone is sending me a copy they have, because they're awesome.

    *sigh* in one of my classes today my instructor did those mac-tutorial thing. it's like.. "ok great"...
    heh

    i might look into student loans soon if nothing works out. i just... realllllly want to use that as an absolute last resort.

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    Default Re: i don't know what to do

    restaurants are quite flexible, since 'full time' is generally expected to be max 25 hours per week.

    they expect some people to always call in half their shifts and others to pick up all those called-in shifts. it's worth trying to get hired first before assuming you can't get enough shifts on the days you have free.

    with bartending and cocktailing, odds are better of getting 1-2 shifts per week somewhere. worth looking into. you keep busy enough, and the money can be really good at a lot of places.

    i live in an area where waitstaff can pull six figures working stripper hours (4-6 hour shifts 3-4 times per week), as an example. the money can certainly be there.

    anyway, another option for you (and a very flexible one) is working private catered parties. you get paid in cash and it's extremely flexible, albeit a bit seasonal. in the very cheap city i used to live in (houston), people got 15-20 per hour for a weekend party of 8-12 hours or a during the week one of 4-6 hours. bartenders could get double or triple the hourly. it's certainly a nice option to pickup immediate/supplemental money and in a busy season could be enough money to live on if needed.

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