F*CK social anxiety disorder!!!

[MysteriousMystery]

nope, i'm not extremely shy..no one is!! "Shy" is a broad term for specific social anxiety disorders.

I've been reading this book : "Beyond Shyness" by Jonathan Berent and it's pretty amazing... the book talks about the term "shy" as being a brush off term for social anxiety, that SAD (Social anxiety disorder) is not anything inherited or genetic, that it is a learned response to stress, and the "fight or flight" instinct. So based on your specific degree of anxiety and the symptoms you normally endure, you can unlearn your reaction and social anxieties and relearn new ways to interact.

"Believing that "shyness" is an indelible component of the personality can be a real stumbling block to overcoming social fears. "that's just the way I am" becomes an excuse for not taking the responsibility for individual well-being. In order to change this mind-set, it is important to understand that because shyness is learned, it can be unlearned. Anxiety can be controlled."

Not sure if anyone else here really struggles with social anxieties relating to the specifics of our job, but for me it is almost crippling. I love the job so i keep coming back, but sometimes i just want to hide and not talk to anyone and shrink into a corner and cry. It's ridiculous and it has no merit, AND it's costing me money. I don't get paid to sit in the locker room and feel bad. I've lost jobs because of this too.. but no more!!

SAD awareness. Wear a bracelet, Steven Colbert.

[Bella21]

I think that's a good way of thinking of things... It's sort of like the people who believe in fate. Like, it's a way to deny responsibility instead of pushing oneself and taking responsibility for the outcomes.

On the other hand... it's a topic that should be approached very gingerly. Kind of like people who are depressed... are you depressed because you don't realize that you aren't actually in love with your bf or are you depressed because your body doesn't produce enough serotonin. I don't believe that there is an universal explanation that applies to everyone.

[wickid54]

combine that with manic depression.
the DJ booth is a nice place to hide out for seven hours.

[zxcire]

combine that with manic depression.
the DJ booth is a nice place to hide out for seven hours.

This is me. Or...if I don't like the dj, I'm in the dressing room or bathroom. I make fucking good money for someone who hides half her shift.

I'm so tired of being scared of everything. I'm at a point now where it's getting harder for me to live in fear than it is for me to take a risk and do scary things.

I'm scared of being scared. That's no way to live...I've been labeled "shy" since I was 5 years old. Yeah. Ramble over.

[Brendita]

I also have severe anxiety. I have found that it improved from before I ever started stripping. Being forced to talk to people to make money has made me a little less afraid of talking to strangers.
Not a whole lot, though.
I just don't ever know what to say to people. Even my friends. I have three people who I feel comfortable around.

[Zinaida]

^^Who are they out of curiosity?

[Jeska]

I have it too.. one night I'll feel confident and kick ass and the next I hide in the dressing room half the night.
It takes me forever to get comfortable around people and just be myself.

Please let us know when you finish that book, if it helps at all.

[Picaresque]

I should give that book a try. Thanks for posting this.

[Brendita]

^^Who are they out of curiosity?

Mine are my husband/boyfriend type person, zxcire, and my long time best guy friend.

[PleasureVictim]

I have severe anxiety also. :-(

[R-209]

This thread has inspired me to finally make my first post after being a lurker for a long time, as I suffer from SAD, along with depression. Thank you for the book recommendation; I will definitely take a look.

Ryan

[MeanGirl]

I was not like this before I met my man, he had panic attacks and over time I developed them. I thought it was werid b/c it was something totally new to me, but gradual and now it's pretty bad. Im worse than him and now he's getting much better. That totally makes sense, I think i will read that book.

[Volupte]

Wow, thats a harsh reaction. I used to get an upset stomach and have to go to the bathroom every few hours. Which is pretty embarrassing to admit....

I wish you all the best in working through this! I used to have a paralyzing fear of heights (parking on a third floor of my schools parking structure would put me to tears) but after about 7 months, I can now park on the 5th floor and be ok. I still get a pang in my chest when I approach the stairway, but I can control my breathe and make it down the stairs without having to close my eyes and hold the rail the whole way down.

[R-209]

Just watching the Mariners/Royals game this evening, and the announcers discussed Kansas City pitcher Zack Greinke's battle with SAD. Very surprising to hear it mentioned in that context, but encouraging to have the issue in the spotlight.

Also, I'd like to post in the depression and anxiety support threads in Member Boards sometime; would that be okay?

Ryan

[MichelleJade]

I'm definitely SAD, along with just generalized anxiety disorder. Mostly I only spend time with my boyfriend just because I have such a hard time communicating... sometimes I wonder if there is a chemical imbalance since I do get depressed for no apparent reason as well.
But yeah, sometimes I am pretty good at conversing, but sometimes I'll hide out in the house for weeks at a time, and it really, really sucks.

[Jeska]

How are you doing with the book, MysteriousMystery?

I think my social anxiety is slowing going away. When I'm stressed I usually want to be alone, but now I look for people to talk with instead of sulking in a corner.