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Thread: Telling Roommates?

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    Default Telling Roommates?

    Hey everyone,

    It's been a looong time since I posted but you guys helped me so much when I first started dancing last summer! Since then I started university full time, and I'm considering moving down closer to school and getting some roommates just to save on bills since I can only work much 4 months of the year and volunteer at my university about 15 hours a week too. What do you guys think?

    I'm not ashamed of my job at all, but I don't want to deal with stigma/drama because of it. When I go looking should I just mention it to new possible roomies up front, or just not bother and live alone? A male friend also offered who I've only known for about 6 months and haven't told, though I'd only be looking for all-girls among strangers.

    Living alone is affordable, I'd just like to have some savings instead.

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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    I'm lucky enough to live alone in an expensive city called San Diego. Its not as much as NY or San Francisco but the decent part ain't cheap.

    Have you started dancing at your desired club yet? You can try the roommate thing and if its not to your liking get a place of your own. Hopefully, you can find some not annoying roomies. I wouldn't tell everyone who wants to room with you yet. Keep the creeps away. Use your own discretion as to who to tell.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  3. #3
    Veteran Member LadyLuck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    As long as you can do it alone I highly suggest doing so. I speak from experience here on this one, Unfortunately.
    There never was a good war or a bad peace.

    Benjamin Franklin

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    Featured Member aussiebelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    I wouldn't tell them straight up unless the topic comes up directly.

    Anyway, it doesn't really concern them as long as your lifestyle doesn't mean that you are coming home really late all the time AND making heaps of noise to keep them up and annoy any roommates.

    I don't know what the dorms are like or how expensive the are where you live, but have you considered staying on campus at your uni?
    Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

  5. #5
    ajbaer
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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    E and I decided to get a roomate. She works for a HSUS. She seems totally OK with my job. I told her, because I'd rather she know and me not lie, than her find out and not trust me, thus leaving.
    We prefer living alone, and if you can i would. We wanted the extra $600/month.

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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    Yes, I'm at my desired club. Without a car there are really only two in the area that are close enough to make paying for a ride reasonable. I've heard a few times that there is more money at the other place but where I am is cleaner as far as everyone tells me and I'm happy there.

    Unfortunately most places come with year long leases here. The dorms are often more expensive, plus you actually share just one room with someone...and a shower and common room with an entire floor...and they're tiny!

    If I had started dancing more than just a few months before starting school then living on my own would be much more reasonable, but I have a few health conditions that sometimes make working impossible so I'm trying to build up a safety net to fall back on.

    Hmn, I'm very quiet so bothering them isn't a concern. I'm more worried about being cornered and scorned if they're anti-stripper and find out.

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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    I don't tell my roommates, but thats mostly so they don't go around trying to steal from me. I am sure not everyone would look down at you for being a stripper...but they might start looking at you as a bank.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    I would tell them right away. If they aren't okay with that, I would doubt you'd want to live with them.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    I agree with LadyLuck that, as a dancer, you are far better off to avoid roommates. From personal experience long ago, your absence while working late into the night leaves you open to all sorts of risk factors if your roommate(s) decide, for example, to throw a wild party. After all it is your name on the lease, and it is you who will be held responsible for damages.

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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    Don't just tell them because some will look at it as degrading and bug you about it and others (or the same ones) will just try to exploit it. Best not to be in that situation at all.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    I'm torn on this one.

    Part of me wants to tell you to keep it secret so that you don't wind up with BS and drama (people treating you differently, or thinking you are a bank, or them telling people you would rather not know).

    Then that is that other part of me that says tell them, b/c what if you wind up with a stalker, and your roomie's safety is put at risk?

    I would see if you can find an inexpensive apt on your own.
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    OR you could be roomies with someone at your club, but I would seriously use your discretion on that one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

  13. #13
    ajbaer
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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    I avoided the stealing shit thing by putting locking doorknobs on all doors in the house. The rooms she's not welcome in are locked. I don't leave stuff out anywhere else. I'm not worried about her though. She's cool with what I do, and even shows interest sometimes. She doesn't wanna do it, but is glad to see how I do and the fun pole tricks I do (did).

  14. #14
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bella21 View Post
    I would tell them right away. If they aren't okay with that, I would doubt you'd want to live with them.
    !! Consider it "weeding out the creeps/assholes". And get a discreet safe.

    If you want to keep it on the dl, don't mention it unless they ask, and present a calm, quiet, modest, and professional demeanor when you meet them. That's how I interact with folks and no one has ever given me shit about it. Plus they're just roommates! Close the door, lock it, and do your thing. You only need to see them on the way to the fridge/bathroom anyway right?

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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    just do yo thang and if they ask tell the truth

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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    I'd tell them before moving in, certainly, but not as the first thing in the conversation if they're strangers. Establish, first, your character and track record; that you're responsible, some of your life experiences, your classes, etc. Then mention that you're working as a dancer to support those classes. It should go over a lot better if it's not the first thing you mention. "Hi I'm So-n-So and I'm a STRIPPER!!!!!111eleventyone!!!"
    Quote Originally Posted by red red red View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by iseestars View Post
    i think people like going to parties and clubs and looking like douchebags.

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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    Two thoughts:

    (a) Once you've told someone, it's very difficult to "untell" them, so you need to be very careful about who you tell.

    (b) Can you not enquire around at your club and see if any dancers you get on with rent in the area/are interested in renting in the area?

    Phil.

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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    Thanks to all the replies,

    I work with tons of great girls, but most of the girls I've really gotten to know are older and are fairly well off and in no need or desire of a roommate, except those that live with bf's. Most also don't live anywhere near me. Unfortunately most of the younger girls I've met are all about constant drinking and partying, which is fine, but might cause drama while I'm in school and trying to learn.

    I do worry about telling people right away because they are students too, and if they're not cool with it then it might get around my school pretty fast. Also, if there are other rooms that are empty, then any new girl that comes along might not be cool with it. It's not uncommon to not even meet roommates before moving in, I'm just going to do it out of personal preference. It's basically risking telling people and having it get out at school vs. risking it being found out later, and possibly getting out at school, and possibly being hated for it or for lying.

    From everyone's responses I think I'm just going to look around and see what I can find, judge whether or not I should tell on a case by case basis, maybe ask more leading questions first about religious beliefs (to check for high risk groups like right wing Christians). But most likely I'm gonna try to keep it quiet and just claim I'm working in a bar. Seriously reconsidering living solo.

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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    Roommates will not only help you financially, but you will have help with the chores too. Also, you won't be lonely...this aspect of roommates is often overlooked and underrated.

    Keep control of the apartment, in other words, it's not a democracy, you make the rules. If they can't live by that after telling them right up front...fuck 'em...next.

    Honesty is probably better, but your call. Do whatever your gut tells you.
    Good luck.

  20. #20
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    I also agree that as long as you don't show up in a sparkly tube dress screaming "lolz im a dancer!!" that it wouldn't me much of a problem, unless they were such jerks that you wouldn't want to be living with them anyway.

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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    I was supposed to actually be moving in with friends who already knew, but sadly stupid girl drama occured. Does everyone here think sticking to only girl roomies is the best way to go? I think there might actually be less chance of drama in a co-ed house but with this job it might raise it's own issues.

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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    I don't think it matters, as long as they pay on time, every time, and as long as they follow whatever rules you have.

  23. #23
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    I would say girl only roomies would be a hit or miss.

    Personally I would want to room with some shy engineering major dudes or something.

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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    Well it's always a good idea to save money and sharing the rent and utilities would help you do that. I would be very cautious about who I choose to be roommates with because just like you said you have to be able to focus on your studies. Maybe you could tell them you are a bar tender? I know this is being dishonest but why do you have to tell them your a stripper? You have a job you make tips and you work nights. Maybe if you really get to know them in time you can tell them the truth and let them know why you decided to not be completely honest about your profession.

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    Default Re: Telling Roommates?

    i refuse to live with girls ever again. too much drama.
    "Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they're supposed to run wild until they find someone, just as wild, to run with." -Sex and the City

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