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Thread: Asshole custy made me cry.

  1. #1
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Asshole custy made me cry.

    So, I stopped dancing for a little bit and I'm working on niteflirt. I'm rolling along, making awesome money.

    This guy calls. He's ambiguous about what he wants. That's cool. We end up having a pretty intelligent conversation for about two hours straight. Random things - about where I went to school, etc. etc. etc.

    Turns out he's looking for a girl he can ageplay with. Um, gross. I kinda let that one slide as we are still conversing about normal, day to day things.

    Then this morning he calls me back and says "I have a test for you." He then procedes to berate me with questions he thinks I should know the answer to. Granted - a couple of them I should have. (Precise day that JFK was assassinated.)

    A lot were, IMO, pretty out there. (Anyone know what two countries are fighting over Sypress and where it is and what it's capital is? Anyone?)

    I get some right. Props to me, cause they were frickin' OUT THERE. But you know, whatever. I am playing along, making a dollar something a minute, and he seemed like such a nice guy during our last convo. Really funny and sweet. So then out of nowhere he starts berating me about how dumb I am, how utterly stupid, how I shouldn't be allowed to talk in adult words and I should talk like a two year old, etc.

    I'm just sitting there shocked, and it's hitting me in the tummy because I pride myself on being articulate, well spoken, well read. I just started on niteflirt and I'm not sure if I can hang up on him, since what happens is the custy hangs up, and I stay on the line for the menu that says I've gotten paid for the call and lets me change my status. I've been on for an hour at this point and I don't want to not get paid. He's saying ridiculously terrible, demeaning things about me and it makes me cry. Like, literally cry.

    I mean, I'm really good at this job, I think. I advertise as a subby role player kind of girl. I get really freaking weird calls. (Marinate in your own bathtub full of spices? Plushie sex? Fucking while eating bananas? Gotcha covered.) I don't let it get to me when "Dom" customers call me filthy names or whatnot. I run with it. No sweat. Why the hell can this guy make me cry?

    I kept hoping he'd actually try to start an ageplay scene cause then I'd tell him I didn't do that sort of stuff and he'd hang up. But no. No dice. I can't hang up, and there's no way I'm going to argue with this creep about whether or not I'm "too dumb to tie my own shoelaces". I'm ESPECIALLY not going to let him know he made me cry.

    Now I don't wanna log back in. I'm afraid he'll call me back. And freaking customer service is closed so I can't figure out how to block him or if I can hang up.

    Asshattery. I'm still crying. Douchebag.

  2. #2
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    If you arent ALLOWED to hang up when you are being verbally ABUSED then FUCK THEM. Seriously. Thats such complete BS. I've so gotten over dealing with people like that...so much so that when I started with hte webcam company I work for I straight up told them that if a guy is abusive or insulting I WILL tell him to go fuck himself so if that wasnt allowed to tell me right then and I wouldnt work for them.

    I knew it the right company for me when they told me to curse guys like that out and then block them!! That they'd be rooting for me whenever I did it(theres always someone monitoring the free chat).

    Nobody deserves to be abused...I dont care if he;s paying a MILLION dollars a minute.

  3. #3
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    I'm really upset. I'm totally steaming right now.

    I'm waiting on Monday so I can call Customer Service. I'm sure there must be a way to hang up on a caller but I am not sure how to do it and still get paid. And, also, I was just freaking and shocked.

    I hope maybe some other NF girls are on here and can shed some light.

  4. #4
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    That sucks large, I'm really sorry cherry. He obviously has this formula down- by doing that, he was trying to engage you in ageplay...weird, abusive ageplay.

    If a customer is like that to you again, can you put the phone down and ignore until they hang up?

    Feature costumes for sale!

  5. #5
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    Thanks. I feel all slimy now.

    I should've thought of just ignoring him - I confess I didn't. OTOH, if I ignore then when he does hang up I'll miss my recording. So, Catch-22.

    I'm so glad I have someplace like this to vent and get support.

  6. #6
    God/dess TheTempest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    That sucks cherry. You didn't deserve that nonsense.

    There is very little you could have done, other than try to get him to hang up on you. That's just frustrating. I hope the company can help you out.

  7. #7
    Featured Member The_Oceans's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    Quote Originally Posted by cherry_sin View Post
    A lot were, IMO, pretty out there. (Anyone know what two countries are fighting over Sypress and where it is and what it's capital is? Anyone?)
    Because Wikipedia is my friend: Cyprus has been contested by Turkish & Greek inhabitants of the island since the 1960s, and is split in two sections by a 300km-long buffer zone maintained by the UN (this buffer zone even divides the capital, Nicosia, into Turkish-Cypriot and Greek-Cypriot sections, each with its own government). The country was in the news because of a checkpoint at the center of Nicosia (which divided the capital) being opened for the first time in 44 years.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicosia

    IMO, the guy probably got off (perhaps literally) on using the test as his form of age-play, especially after the "test" using the number of correct answers as a justification for verbally abusing you the way he did. (ETA: I see that in the time it's taken me to post this, everyone else has said the same thing.)

    Heck, I consider myself a semi-intelligent person, fairly up-to-date with current events. But I didn't know about the whole Cyprus thing until seeing a blurb about it on Wikipedia (while I was searching for something else), and I'll freely admit I don't recall as much about certain topics (like American history) as I probably should.

    Like with most people, I give the most attention to people and things in my immediate sphere of influence, and a 50-year long civil war (that I didn't know about until two days ago) on a small Mediterranean island is not in my immediate sphere of influence.

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    Nobody deserves to be abused...I dont care if he;s paying a MILLION dollars a minute.
    I agree - the fact that the guy is paying for a fetish/fantasy doesn't give him the right to dish out the kind of verbal abuse he gave.

    This raises a question for me, from the recipient's POV: In a D/s relationship or encounter, is there a difference between "pain" and "abuse"?
    "Women, not girls, rule my world" - Prince

    "No parking on the dance floor" - Midnight Star

  8. #8
    God/dess TheTempest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Oceans View Post
    This raises a question for me, from the recipient's POV: In a D/s relationship or encounter, is there a difference between "pain" and "abuse"?
    Oh definitely. I'm pretty active in D/s and there is most definitely a difference. Abuse is something beyond your limits, beyond where it is pleasurable, after you say "no". Pain can be pleasurable, but if I say stop and it doesn't, it's abuse.

  9. #9
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    I'm a lifestyle slave. If it had been MY Master verbally humiliating me it would have been different. Mostly because I know he doesn't mean it; because it turns me on; because it reminds me of my place in our dynamic and I love that.

    Pain is consensual, abuse is not.

    When dommy calls come through my line I don't give it a second thought. I tune it out. I don't care if he wants me to eat his poo. Or says WTF ever. That's why I am so freaked, because things NEVER influence me personally but this guy just caught me on a bad day and he did.

    It's like those guys that think they're turning you on by talking dirty. And you're faking it. Cause you don't even THINK about them that way, so they don't have that power over you. Then one day you let your filter down and, hey, my nips are hard! Same kinda deal here.

    Sigh.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    I'm sure he copied off a bunch of questions he didn't know himself. Too bad you can't make your own q's up and make him answer them:p

  11. #11
    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    First of all i am outraged for you
    NO ONE deserves to be abused like that without consent.
    I think next time you should put the phone next to a Christian rock radio station or like a evangelical preacher station until he hangs up.
    I mean even if you miss your recording it still counts right?
    I would think there is another way to have a record of your calls right?
    What an asshole
    ::hugs::



    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Tell him that he's a load his mom should have swallowed.

  12. #12
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    First of all Cherry I am sorry this happened to you! Men will find any way they can to tear a sex worker down. I know I've let some stuff get to me before and I then feel worse for letting it happen. It's like I get mad at them and then mad at myself on top of it! But the good thing is that you CAN hang up. You don't have to do or talk about ANYTHING you don't want to discuss on NF. If you go to the list on your homepage (my account) at the lower right where it gives you a list of customers, you can also click on their name and block them from contacting you. They can also create multiple screen names to fuck with you but hopefully that dude will give up and leave you alone then.
    You don't have to take that shit. Just tell them off and hang up. The worst they can do is leave you a bad rating and guys don't care much about ratings. Just keep doing your thing.

  13. #13
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    *SQUEE*

    OMG, Alexxa, thank you soooo much! He's been totally blocked. You're amazing. And mah hero.

    So even if I hang up and miss the little recording, no biggie? Still get paid and all?

  14. #14
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    Quote Originally Posted by cherry_sin View Post
    *SQUEE*

    OMG, Alexxa, thank you soooo much! He's been totally blocked. You're amazing. And mah hero.

    So even if I hang up and miss the little recording, no biggie? Still get paid and all?
    Yes you still get paid! If he calls and you talk for two seconds and then slam the phone down, you still get paid for a whole minute too. It doesn't really do any good to contact customer service. They will tell you how to block the customer, but they say that any personal or legal matters you have with the customer (because you are an independent contractor ) must be taken up with law enforcement. If this guy continuously creates new member names to harass you (which has happened to me) you can file a complaint with the police and they will at least have that on file. But hopefully it doesn't have to come to that.

  15. #15
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    Who fuck knows what day JFK was assassinated?

    I consider myself up on world events, but I couldn't tell you which two countries are fighting over Cyprus. I think Turkey is one but fuck if I can tell you for sure.

    Why are you letting a complete stranger make you feel this way? I'd have been laughing all the way to the bank as you say there letting him rack up minutes. In fact, I'd have agreed with him and tried to string him out for more money.

    Next time he calls, answer some of the questions very incorrectly and see what he does. Should be funny.

  16. #16
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    Quote Originally Posted by hyzenthflay View Post
    I'm sure he copied off a bunch of questions he didn't know himself. Too bad you can't make your own q's up and make him answer them:p
    I know, really. Not knowing random-ass questions doesn't mean jack. I don't even know the day that JFK was assassinated and I like to think that I'm at least of average intelligence. I know who he was, I know it happened, I know about people's conspiracy theory, etc etc. Why should I go out of my way to memorize the exact day? I don't find it interesting and it doesn't hold any meaning to my life. However, I do know why a ladybug will crawl to the top of your finger before flying away.

    Others have already said it... he was CLEARLY getting off on that crap. If he has any idea how upset he made you, he might even call back... so I hope you can talk to your people soon!
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  17. #17
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    Remember that YOU are in control, even if you are playing the sub role. You can't let them take over the conversation or it goes to shit.

  18. #18
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    Thanks, you guys.

    Like I said, this NEVER happens to me. I NEVER get emotionally or personally involved with a call. What happens when you let your guard down with a "nice" customer, I guess.

    I put up a postit on my PC screen that says "I'm in control!" and I feel better now. I think I'll actually log back in now.

    God, I love stripperweb.

  19. #19
    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Oceans View Post
    IMO, the guy probably got off (perhaps literally) on using the test as his form of age-play, especially after the "test" using the number of correct answers as a justification for verbally abusing you the way he did. (ETA: I see that in the time it's taken me to post this, everyone else has said the same thing.)
    This was exactly my thought as well. He was pissed off that you weren't letting him have his fun initially and so he tried to force it on you.

    Quote Originally Posted by cherry_sin View Post
    Thanks, you guys.

    Like I said, this NEVER happens to me. I NEVER get emotionally or personally involved with a call. What happens when you let your guard down with a "nice" customer, I guess.

    I put up a postit on my PC screen that says "I'm in control!" and I feel better now. I think I'll actually log back in now.

    God, I love stripperweb.
    I'm so glad that you found the sympathy and answers that you needed! And I do understand why it got to you--he found your "weak spot" emotionally. I would have felt the same way because I'm sensitive about things I SHOULD know but don't, and so I'd have felt kind of dumb to start off with. Which is exactly what feeds that sort of manipulative personality, so they keep applying pressure.

    It reminds me very much of humiliation in D/s context. If you just don't let it bother you, you can't be humiliated. Pee in front of you? Okay. Call myself a cumguzzling piece of trash? Sure. But the second you hesitate and let your qualms or self-doubts get involved, anyone who's reading your body language knows they have an "in" and can go for the jugular.

    Which you know.


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    God/dess TheTempest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bella21 View Post
    However, I do know why a ladybug will crawl to the top of your finger before flying away.
    I gotta ask... why?

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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    *wraps Cherry in a blanket and cuddles her* Poor pumpkin. :/ sorry you had to go through that.

  22. #22
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    *loves the cuddles* I was a saaaaaad panda.

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    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    I don't know why you would let anything some weirdo who has to pay 1.95 a minute to jack off while saying creepy things bother you anyways....
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

  24. #24
    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    Wow. I'm not sure if that was you trying to be helpful or you completely minimizing my feelings after I've completely admitted that the only reason I'm so upset is that I NEVER get upset over work calls for precisely the reason you mentioned.

    Damn internets and it's lack of verbal tone.

  25. #25
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Asshole custy made me cry.

    I'm so sorry! It sounds like he had a bad day and is taking it out on you.

    When things like that crop up, you need to ask yourself, do you really care what this guy thinks about you? I mean, he is the one that has to pay a girl to talk to him, right? Not the other way around.

    So, if it doesn't matter what a customer thinks about you, then there is nothing to get upset about. He doesn't know "you" he knows your phone persona, that's all.

    I suggest when you work next, if he should call and begin the tirade again, jut ask him "why would you think that?" This will remove the focus from you and back on to him. He has to address why he is behaving in a way that is hateful. Then maybe say something like, "I'd like to continue this conversation in a civil tone, but if you can't do that then I'll have to raise your rates for the extra abuse I'm being subjected to, okay?"

    That should bring him back to earth. Acknowledging that this is a business transaction and he is going to have to pay a "putting up with your shit" fee.

    If nothing else, know in your heart that his hatred and cruelty has absolutely nothing to do with you. You are merely the punching bag that he is taking his anger out on.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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