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Thread: Brother moving in with me - HELP!

  1. #1
    sun child
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    Default Brother moving in with me - HELP!

    So, due to an escalating abuse situation, my 16-year-old brother is going to live with me for at least this summer. I am looking into two-bedroom houses to rent right now. I am going to require him to get a full-time summer job and I'm not going to require him to pay rent. I'm struggling with ground rules I should put on him. I'm not his parent, but I still want him to be safe and responsible and be a good role model to him.

    Any advice?
    Last edited by sun child; 04-06-2008 at 04:43 PM. Reason: brevity

  2. #2
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Brother moving in with me - HELP!

    Read Trauma and Recovery, by Judith Herman, and take it as it comes.

    Be proactive and preventative, rather then punative. Like try to get him into good activities instead of punishing him for "bad" activities. Yanno?



  3. #3
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: Brother moving in with me - HELP!

    omg. i am planning to bring my bother to live with me in the next year too. i have no idea what to do with him, mine is also going to get a job-full time tho-hes 18, and not pay rent. but yeah, in terms of disapline, ive got no idea wehen the day comes.

    good luck with it tho

  4. #4
    sun child
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    Default Re: Brother moving in with me - HELP!

    Thanks Lena I will check that book out. I am thinking that in lieu of rent, I will ask him to choose a volunteer activity he'd like to do part time. The whole purpose of moving him up here is to make his life better and to help him grow, so encouraging the positive will be good. I think I will negotiate house rules and things like that, so he doesn't feel like I'm arbitrarily casting them on him. I think he'll be hospitable.

  5. #5
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: Brother moving in with me - HELP!

    I dont have any advice but you are a wonderful sister to care so much.

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    Default Re: Brother moving in with me - HELP!

    Quote Originally Posted by sun child View Post
    Thanks Lena I will check that book out. I am thinking that in lieu of rent, I will ask him to choose a volunteer activity he'd like to do part time. The whole purpose of moving him up here is to make his life better and to help him grow, so encouraging the positive will be good. I think I will negotiate house rules and things like that, so he doesn't feel like I'm arbitrarily casting them on him. I think he'll be hospitable.
    My suggestion, which worked well when I lived with an older brother for a short time (albeit I was older than 16). Lay down any serious rules right away, if there are any. Kinda just play the rest by ear.

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    Default Re: Brother moving in with me - HELP!

    I would love to do this.

    A full time summer job is a great idea. I think as a guardian you should provide him with food and shelter, medical care, and support free of charge. But anything extra, like clothes, cell phone, car, gas, electronics, movies, etc, he should pay for with his own money.
    He should have chores around the house that he does without complaint, and always clean up after himself.

    Make sure you find a house with 2 bathrooms!

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