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Thread: Why does socializing exhaust me?

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Why does socializing exhaust me?

    Am I the only one who can work in a social environment (such as stripping) for long periods of time and be fine, but put in an environment like a dinner party or family gathering and I need to "sleep it off" the next day.

    I went to a dinner party last night, and a whole pot of coffee later I still feel completely drained and tired, even though I got plenty of sleep?.(I only had one beer, so not a hangover)

    I used to feel energized after those types of activities, but now? I'd rather be "working". I'm good if I'm the hostess, also. I guess I just don't do well as a guest.


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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    Are you going through stripping on 'autopilot' in that you have developed a set of semi-automatic responses to different situations, whereas more conventional social gatherings demand much more concentration from you because the responses you have to make are not so predictable?

    Phil.

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    Veteran Member LiveFree's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    Maybe you're just not enjoying yourself enough. I mean work is work, but you need some play time too.

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    Veteran Member Alia_of_the_Knife's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    ^^I am much that way. At jobs and school I can socialize just fine. Other events I find extremely taxing.

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    Veteran Member youngBUTbanking's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    Did you have to listen to a lot of bullshit?

    Often that is pretty tiring.
    PABLO SPEAKS THE TRUTH...

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    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    All forms of socialization tire me out. If it weren't for the internet I might be a total recluse.

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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    My mom told me once that some people are energized by social interaction while some people are drained by it and need recovery time. I think its just important to understand that about yourself and plan to have a day to yourself after you do something social.

    I'm like that too except that stripping usually exhausts me socially too. Its why I almost never work two days in a row. Every other day is what works for me.

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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    ^Yup, LilyLove is right. Introverts are drained by heavy social activity, while extroverts thrive on it and shrivel up without it.

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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    I'm the same way, Paris--socializing along the lines of work is fine, but I guess I need to feel some forward momentum with it, unless I'm REALLY with friends, not just socializing, in which case their spirits refill me--I know exactly what you're talking about.

    I wonder if you've hit on something here--we all have an interest in SW, and most here seem to be the same with regard to socializing...maybe we're a "type"!
    JK Jim

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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    Perhaps when you are the hostess you are kept busy with lots of little tasks. You are not required to spend a lot of time just focused on the little socialization things. You constantly have to run in the kitchen and check on the mini-corn dogs and things...

    When you are not the hostess you just kind of sit there and chat. If the people are not being that interesting...that can be a drain...

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    Quote Originally Posted by jhuka View Post
    I'm the same way, Paris--socializing along the lines of work is fine, but I guess I need to feel some forward momentum with it, unless I'm REALLY with friends, not just socializing, in which case their spirits refill me--I know exactly what you're talking about.
    This is true for me, too. Being social is work for me, so if I'm going to do it, it needs to be moving me forward in some way. Either directly making me money, like at the club, or making professional contacts, like schmoozing industry events for my dayjob stuff. I do both these things extremely well, because they are tasks in my mind. If I'm just at a social event where I'm supposed to enjoy myself, I have to make an effort not to sit in a corner staring at my drink all night like a moron.

    I have to know people reeeaaallly well, and actually love them, before their company becomes refreshing for me.
    Last edited by xoxoGracexoxo; 04-10-2008 at 05:18 PM.

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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    I'm the same. If I go to a wedding or something, after two hours I am ready to kill someone.

    Thankfully I have girlfriends who have the same idea of a good time as me -- knitting and listening to music -- so I don't have to be a recluse always.

    As an answer as to how introverts can be good strippers, though, I'm still curious about that. A lot of great strippers I know are not social by nature, but at work can really turn it on. I find that a fascinating aspect of our personalities.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    Thanks so much everyone! I don't consider myself an introvert, but maybe my stripping career has turned me into one?

    I'm finally starting to feel energized again, and it is 5:00pm! I really like the people I was hanging out with last night, so I just find it strange that I should feel so drained after words.

    I just put this together this morning that I do feel really drained after a social outing. I've got a b-day party for a friend of mine this weekend to attend. Luckily, I've got nothing planned on Sunday, so I can sit at home and recharge.


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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward View Post
    As an answer as to how introverts can be good strippers, though, I'm still curious about that. A lot of great strippers I know are not social by nature, but at work can really turn it on. I find that a fascinating aspect of our personalities.
    Maybe because introverted strippers are more task-oriented while at work? I mean, I'm not there to have a good time -- not the same kind of good time I'd have if left to myself, anyway -- so I have every reason to stay focused on the job at hand.

    P.S. Knitting and listening to music is one of my favorite ways to spend time with people, also. Especially if coffee and/or cocktails are involved. Next time we get together I'll know to bring my yarn.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    I feel like this too. Within about 2 hours of going to an event I feel like going home.

    I also find that I only go to these things out of obligation now and so as not to offend. I dont really enjoy them at all. Example was my friends bday recently. It was just a bbq at her house but I really didn't want to go.
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    Veteran Member CherryonTop's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    I feel like this too. Within about 2 hours of going to an event I feel like going home.

    I also find that I only go to these things out of obligation now and so as not to offend. I dont really enjoy them at all. Example was my friends bday recently. It was just a bbq at her house but I really didn't want to go.
    I hate those situations. Like my boyfriend's work drinks - sometimes they're awesome (he works with a fun group of people for the most part) but sometimes, they're just hard work - especially since most of the girls don't like me, so if the boys aren't there, it's an uphill slog! (what is it with this? girls don't like me in general, except for a precious few)

    I guess there are so many factors involved in socialising and how you feel in the situation - the people, your mood, what your wearing (sounds shallow, but how awkward do you feel in jeans and a t shirt if everyone else looks smart) what your day was like, what you're doing tomorrow etc...

    Sometimes, I just want to curl up with a good book (or the www) and a blanket and get my antisocial geek on...

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    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    I'm the same way.

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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    Maybe because introverted strippers are more task-oriented while at work? I mean, I'm not there to have a good time -- not the same kind of good time I'd have if left to myself, anyway -- so I have every reason to stay focused on the job at hand.

    P.S. Knitting and listening to music is one of my favorite ways to spend time with people, also. Especially if coffee and/or cocktails are involved. Next time we get together I'll know to bring my yarn.
    I am definitely task oriented at work-which can make it hard. If I'm not motivated for some reason, I can't 'just drink and have fun with everyone'. Probably my huge work shortcoming, but eh. I'm very good one on one though. (And oooh, knitting. I crochet. Love it. I need to learn to knit.)

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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    Maybe because introverted strippers are more task-oriented while at work?
    I don't know about that. My mind wanders and I lose focus easily.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    Me too...

    Even people that I like, too much time with them just stresses me out.



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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lena View Post
    Me too...

    Even people that I like, too much time with them just stresses me out.
    Me too. I like my friends and all but I find my solitude post-partying as much needed silence. People are tiring to be around period.
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  22. #22
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk View Post
    Me too. I like my friends and all but I find my solitude post-partying as much needed silence. People are tiring to be around period.
    Aaaaaamen!

    I get very cranky and irritable when my friends are around too much. As an only child I definitely thrive on alone time.

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    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    I need my me-time too. I wish I could just have a day to myself once in a while. Nobody gets it.

  24. #24
    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    I can relate to this to. I definitely have to "recharge" with some solitude after any serious socializing.

    I was just talking about this exact phenomenon with a friend, in a discussion about the Meyers-Briggs personality test. There are many people whose jobs require them to engage in behaviors that are definitely extroverted, and they can do so very well, but it comes down to how those people gather strength and energy that defines them as introverts or extroverts. Some people really do get recharged by socializing, others need to have alone time. I thought it was interesting.
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    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why does socializing exhaust me?

    ^ This is so true. As an extrovert, if I have nothing planned with somebody, I'll go sit in a crowded restaurant, alone, just to be around people.

    The last time we had a Myers-Briggs poll here, I'm almost certain the introvert dancers outnumbered the extroverts.

    Paris, since you don't show or reveal or engage people as the "real you" at work -- where you are performing -- but do at an actual social occasion, it would make sense that you would feel drained from the real thing. Like most introverts.

    Other performers and entertainers, like method actors, are in a world by themselves when on stage. Perfect for an introvert.

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