Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 35

Thread: Sticky Situation at Day Job

  1. #1
    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    923
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Sticky Situation at Day Job

    I've been teaching a class at a college this semester. It meets twice a week. I have very little contact with my fellow instructors save for curriculum meetings that happen every two weeks or so. At the first curriculum meeting a few months ago, I met D., a guy who teaches the same class as I do. He's probably somewhere in his mid-to-late thirties. Anyway, he was friendly enough, so I didn't hesitate to say hello when I saw him standing outside of the building we both teach in a week or so later. Since this job is brand-new to me, I welcome all the input I can get from others in the same position who have had it longer.

    Anyway, we chatted about school for a few minutes, and then the conversation starts getting way more intense. He's one of those people that is hard to walk away from because he just keeps talking. On this occasion, he sort of turned the conversation to gender roles/dating kind of stuff, making sure I knew he was single, etc. I finally was able to excuse myself politely and walked away.

    The next time I saw him was at my gym. This was coincidental; he goes there too. Same kind of conversation. He got on the stairmaster next to me and yapped away for the next half hour as I huffed and puffed trying to talk while exercising. When I got off, he kept talking. Again, it was all sort of borderline inappropriate stuff... dating, how I was attractive, how he has a band I should come see... blah blah blah.

    So fine. The dude has a crush on me. Whatever. It's been known to happen.

    THEN I get a myspace invite from him. He had my email and looked me up. I didn't reply for a week or so because there's stripper stuff all over my myspace and I try to keep that on the low as far as my job at the school is concerned. Plus, the knowledge that I've been a stripper is the kind of thing that would make this guy think that "we" had a secret together or something and I really don't want him all up in my life like that. So he sent me a message after awhile wondering if he'd done something wrong. I wrote back that he hadn't done anything wrong, but that I'd like to keep my professional life professional. He wrote back apologizing for stepping over any boundaries or making things unnecessarily awkward for me and I thought it was all good.

    But TODAY I got this long fucking artsy-ass email about love and death and fucking and ellipses and what a question mark is for and... just... all this shit. If this was sent at three in the morning, whatever, but it was sent at more like three in the afternoon. He wrote that he thought I might "understand."

    I understand perfectly that he is being creepy as hell. I just don't know what to do about it or to what extent I need to do something about it. I'm not getting a dangerous vibe from him, and if this were not related to my current job, I'd just tell him to fuck off, but it seems to me that the situation needs to be handled a little more delicately this time. Suggestions, anyone?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #2
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    1,936
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 32 Times in 26 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    If you're not getting a psycho vibe from him, I would seriously suggest the freeze-out treatment. If he's like I'm imagining, he's a needy dude who thrives on attention. The less attention you give him, the less reason he has to hang around.

    Don't answer his e-mails. Not even the dramatic ones that veritably demand answers. Guys like this are manipulative and have learned to work most women's desire to seem nice and win approval. But you are a stripper, so you are impervious to these methods.

    If he brings up the e-mail later, tell him you didn't answer it because you just didn't have any response to it. (Which is true, right?) Say it coldy and with a shrug. Then pause to really let the awkwardness of the moment soak in. Watch him squirm.

    If he's just a bit socially awkward, this should be enough of a hint. Is it passive-aggressive? Sure. Is it rude? Totally. But I've had enough of guys who force themselves on girls and try to make their targets feel awkward about turning them away. These guys know what they're doing, I swear. In your case, you already told him pretty directly to back off and he ignored you. He now officially deserves every internal twinge of shame and discomfort you can provide him.

    BUT if you have any reason at all to beleive he is stalker material, you should tell him simply and directly not to contact you outside of work. Otherwise, don't be gentle. He needs to learn boundaries, and karma has made you his teacher.

  3. #3
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    6,345
    Thanks
    168
    Thanked 801 Times in 419 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    Maybe reply to him in a very simple matter-of-fact way that his behavior is creeping you out. Maybe make a reference to the movie "Good Luck Chuck" where the guy is basically a decent guy who acts in an insane way.

    As strippers we learn pretty quickly that if we let the customers talk about themselves a lot, they tend to feel a connection to the dancer even though all she did was just sit there and act interested. You could possibly turn this around by calling him out of the blue and start blabbering on and on about nothing until he says "Uh...I've....I've gotta go." Then make it really hard for him to get away from the conversation.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  4. #4
    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    923
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    Thanks for the smart and on-point advice, Grace and Paris, as usual. I'm leaning toward being more disturbed than conflicted at this point. The email was just... well, I can't tell whether he's just parading his overgrown teen angst for me to admire or actually being kind of ominous. I didn't like all the "until next time" stuff. And jesus, speaking of karma, I am done with ellipses forever (ok, that's a lie).

    Anyway, if anyone has the patience to actually read all the way through (which I barely did), this is the email:

    Subject: Ennui, Hyperbole, or Just Near Death?

    For some reason the question mark after "near death" seems either over-stated or, at best, the barest sign of hope. Yes, it's the last, as in perhaps it isn't true what I feel each and every day. Maybe I'm not a ghost, or the end result of debris piled atop debris. Oh what fun this will be, sorta' like a road trip to Akron. And no, in case you were wondering, you neither asked for nor invited any of this and I am, to state the obvious, imposing. But for some reason, something tells me you will, if not exactly understand, at least accept the words, along with the butchered sentence structure, self-effacement, and mock self-pity. Who knows? And there are semantic considerations. As in, strictly speaking there is no life past death unless one is a believer in palliatives like an after-life or reincarnation. The other possibilty would involve an extended digression through Kafka and an ellaborate etymological account of some German words. And while you would have no way to know this, I am in fact a very considerate man, and so I'll spare you the etymologies -- unless, later, you ask.

    I wonder if I dream any more. It's all a fog. Things like love, good fucking, fried eggs and rye toast for afterwards have all been replaced by the grim whine of old water pipes, a half smoked joint, and bare knucles dragging along a rough, sun burnt sidewalk in mid-July. Ah, if only something would make the knuckles turn white again. Then I'd have a real sign of hope rather than the self-composed pretense of a question mark artfully poised at the end of a sentence in lieu of ellipses. I live on ellipses ... I drink them ... I love their declaration, the crystaline articulation of a lean and sinewy indeterminacy. I'd fuck them if I could. I mean that indeterminacy is maybe the most attractive, or the most real, or the most I can handle at this moment. I wish I couild be rid of the definitions that seem to continualy stream in from an outside that cloaks itself in conventions and a gnostic knowledge that I, clearly, lack; then the ignominy of the past and the way she kicked my skinny boy-ass to the curb so she could, and I quote, "fuck other guys"; so would a whole host of other ignominious past events, broken loves, broken hearts, broekn dreams. I was never asking for much ... ah, which I learned just recently has been the problem throughout. If I could just sit here and sweat and read Frank O'Hara, I think everything would be so much better. If only I could find a waterfall. Then I wouldn't need that maddening blade of grass or the body electric, and who the fuck cares where the Armory show was held?

    I'm not afraid of anything and therein is the problem, I suspect. Fear and the excitation and anticipation that attends it is the good shit. But the sublime has gone to hospital -- someone told me it's Spring -- and is hanging on by a thread and some wires and tubes, unaware of al the bouquets of flowers on the table by the bed. There's a Yoruban tapestry over my head and I'd like to cry, but I can't. So maybe I should go and masturbate. Or screw it, and go and get a latte and take a walk.

    I'm not crazy -- do you know the poem "To The Harbour Master"? "I trust in the sanity of my vessel; and/ if it sinks, it may well be in answer/ to the reasoning of the eternal voices ..." I love the image of a colloquy of the eternal voices and the sirens, all discussing the merits of Cervantes and funk.

    'Til next time,

    [bad boundaries bear]
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #5
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    1,936
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 32 Times in 26 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    Oh my god, don't you just want to lie in his arms as you both bleed to death from a double suicide in hotel bed somewhere east of Tuscon? I know I do.

    I'm soooo glad you posted this. I was about to ask you to. He doesn't sound crazy to me, just another self-declared intellectual tortured by this mundane maelstrom some call life. Etc.

    Dude obviously considers himself a writer. I am even more of the opinion that you shouldn't answer it at all. When he brings it up later tell him you didn't really read it that closely, and was it important?

    That whole "you are the only one who can understand me" thing was probably his mainstay at picking up insecure artsy girls in high school. God, guys like this make me tired.

    Paris is right. Guys like this will talk your freaking ear off and then convince themselves that you listened to them not because you are a polite human-being who couldn't think of a way to end the conversation, but because you are deeply fascinated by him. (Great when they're customers; totally unacceptable outside of the club.) She's also correct that if you were to assert yourself and want to be listenend to, possibly even express needs of your own besides being the sponge to absorb his emotional effluence, he would probably disappear fairly quickly. But this would involve actually talking to him, which would be painful. Plus, what if he decides you're confiding in him because you're a gentle fawn who needs his protection? Sometimes these drama dudes have that streak in them, too.

    I still say you freeze him out.

  6. #6
    God/dess
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    8,031
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 143 Times in 42 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    Oh vomit, vomit, vomit. Please send that ASAP to Crap Email From a Dude. It screams for it.

    And this guy teaches writing? Oy.

    I'm in agreement with Paris and Grace; ignore, and if that doesn't work, bluntly freeze and deny. If he still won't back off, report to department head.

    EDIT: Mr. W says you should reply to the email with "Does that shit get you laid?"

  7. #7
    Picaresque
    Guest

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    ew, he's a pathetic wannabe emo kid! (Don't take that the wrong way, I *love* true artsy emo kids, but this guy is just laughable and has got it all wrong.)

    "wow, you must have been trashed when you wrote that; how embarrassing for you! But we can just pretend it never happened." *smile*

  8. #8
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    1,936
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 32 Times in 26 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward View Post
    EDIT: Mr. W says you should reply to the email with "Does that shit get you laid?"
    Awesome.

    OR you could answer the question in the title line. I'd go with "hyperbole" And shitty hyperbole, at that.

    OR you could let him know that you have posted his e-mail on a public message board and he will shortly be receiving a variety of responses. Then Paris, Susan, Mr. W and I can all go to town on him.

    Oh, I'm way too into this. I love crushing tiny souls.

  9. #9
    Veteran Member youngBUTbanking's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    South Florida
    Posts
    398
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    make a reference to the movie "Good Luck Chuck" where the guy is basically a decent guy who acts in an insane way.

    Showing up to a girls work in a penguin suit is insane?
    PABLO SPEAKS THE TRUTH...

  10. #10
    God/dess
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    The Diner State
    Posts
    5,085
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    Oh wow, that's an insane email. I agree with Mr. Wayward! I also think it's time to read Hatshepsut's brilliant posts on why she should kill all of her exes. Lots of crappy emo boy email stuff there.

  11. #11
    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    923
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    I am so, so, so relieved that you are all finding this amusing instead of threatening. At first I did too and then kind of thought myself into a panic. I almost replied, "would you like me to edit this?"

    Susan, funny coincidence... the editor that does the Crap Email feature is a good friend of mine and I was IMing with her when I got this thing. I forwarded it under the condition that she would not even think about using it because I knew she'd want to. Maybe I am too nice!

    Everyone who said that this guy was desperate to be listened to and then projected the fact that I stood there onto me being particularly soulful or something was spot on. The funny thing about that is that he's a boob-talker. I do not have a particularly impressive pair or anything, and they were fully covered, but man, every time I have talked to this man all the "my Ph.D blah blah blah" was delivered directly to them. And the worst part is that this made me feel sorry for him. Like, "Oh... you don't even KNOW not to do that."

    Sometimes it shocks me how naive I can be after having been a stripper for three years. I really just NEVER see it coming the second I'm out of the black light. Derrrr...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  12. #12
    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    923
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    Aaaahahahaha the plot thickens! I just got this and feel much better, but poor [Fran]!:

    Ack ... that note I sent wasn't meant for you. I have a friend named [Fran], your name is [Frank], and you are both in my address list. And if, without thinking, I type "[f-r-a]" into the subject line, both of your email address come up; and if, again without thinking or paying attention, I accidentally click on the wrong email address ... well, it becomes a fait accompli, or a comedy of errors ... or both.

    Fuck. Now you know what an emotionally embittered, broken fuck I am ... and here we were planning on not outting ourselves. No worries, your secrets, obviously, are intact. But what I wrote to a friend of a several years was surely not the sort of thing I say to someone I've just, and only barely, met.

    Seriously this is as embarrassing a mistake as I may have made in recent memory. I apologize.

    What can I say? You've ... got the power now. I'm on my knees begging, pleading that the worst that comes of this is that you simply look the other way when you see me, and mutter to yoruself, 'what an asshole', all the while doing me the utmost favor of keeping the reason(s) I'm an asshole to yourself.

    Please? Again, I am so, so, so sorry ...

    This is just ... ack ..
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  13. #13
    Member
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    60
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    I don't buy it. He's just set things up so that this intriguing glimpse at his tortured soul won't come off as a pathetic or offensively intimate, or that you won't have cause to complain to anyone at work b/c he will claim it was an accident. He's hoping you will take the bait and say something nice...about him, his intelligence, his higher sentiments, his writing style, whatever. *rolls eyes*

  14. #14
    TheSexKitten
    Guest

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    It sounds really contrived. Just ignore him. Nod, smile, and repeat after me, "Sorry, I've gotta run."


  15. #15
    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    923
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    Quote Originally Posted by dallylama View Post
    I don't buy it. He's just set things up so that this intriguing glimpse at his tortured soul won't come off as a pathetic or offensively intimate, or that you won't have cause to complain to anyone at work b/c he will claim it was an accident. He's hoping you will take the bait and say something nice...about him, his intelligence, his higher sentiments, his writing style, whatever. *rolls eyes*
    Well, that would be even funnier because I just wrote back:

    Oh, good, this means I can call my thugs off neighborhood stakeout.
    That freaked me out. But I am definitely quite happy to just laugh as
    opposed to thinking it was something kind of, I don't know, ominous
    and creepy? It makes a lot more sense knowing it was intended for
    someone else, and I am greatly relieved. Frankly, I could give a shit
    whether or not you're embittered and broken as long as it's not
    somehow on me! And, uhh... yeah, several of my friends have seen this
    at this point. I'm sorry about that, but I was wondering whether or
    not I should be alarmed. I'll be sure to update them on the false
    alarm, though. I really doubt this would ever get back to anyone who
    knows you, though, and I'm certainly not about to tell anyone else
    because at this point it's sort of mutually embarrassing. It is my
    hope that we can both just laugh it off and forget it.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  16. #16
    TheSexKitten
    Guest

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    NICE! He'll definitely leave you alone now!

  17. #17
    God/dess
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    8,031
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 143 Times in 42 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    Quote Originally Posted by red red red View Post
    Susan, funny coincidence... the editor that does the Crap Email feature is a good friend of mine and I was IMing with her when I got this thing. I forwarded it under the condition that she would not even think about using it because I knew she'd want to.
    Tell her she's a great human being and that Gawker Media should be paying her a lot more.

    Whew, well, at least this isn't on you. Let us know how awkward he has the sense to act the next time you see him.

  18. #18
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2004
    Location
    House of Aion
    Posts
    8,074
    Thanks
    7,881
    Thanked 5,705 Times in 2,127 Posts
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    She's also correct that if you were to assert yourself and want to be listenend to, possibly even express needs of your own besides being the sponge to absorb his emotional effluence, he would probably disappear fairly quickly. But this would involve actually talking to him, which would be painful.
    God I love that! I think you should begin to just walk away when he starts his shit and if he takes the treadmill beside you tell him you prefer silence while you excercise.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  19. #19
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    1,936
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 32 Times in 26 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    Quote Originally Posted by red red red View Post
    Oh, good, this means I can call my thugs off neighborhood stakeout.That freaked me out. But I am definitely quite happy to just laugh as opposed to thinking it was something kind of, I don't know, ominous and creepy? It makes a lot more sense knowing it was intended for someone else, and I am greatly relieved. Frankly, I could give a shit whether or not you're embittered and broken as long as it's not somehow on me! And, uhh... yeah, several of my friends have seen this at this point. I'm sorry about that, but I was wondering whether or
    not I should be alarmed. I'll be sure to update them on the false alarm, though. I really doubt this would ever get back to anyone who knows you, though, and I'm certainly not about to tell anyone else because at this point it's sort of mutually embarrassing. It is my hope that we can both just laugh it off and forget it.
    Subtle and brilliant. I think you hit all the points. I still think you might have been a tad nice, though. Be sure to act like he's a total lame weirdo (he is) next time you see him, or he might still try to turn this "mutual embarrassment" into the foundation of a smothering, sweaty, one-sided "friendship."

    Anyway, good job, dude. High five.

  20. #20
    Senior Member MeganR's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    76
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    That was a fun exchange to read. It had the same kind of over-the-top awkwardness that made last week's episode of The Office so painful -- and compelling -- to watch. The guy can write; and so can you, red.

  21. #21
    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    923
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    Thanks for the votes of confidence, ladies, but I'm afraid it didn't stop there. Got this yesterday and I now would like to punch this dude. Note the subtle blackmail tone going on. Apparently homeboy knows his way around a google search... which is all you'd need if you wanted to find out I've been a stripper. Anyway:

    Ominous and creepy? Hmm ... I was going for ironic with all the faux "emo" self-hatred and high brow self-justification. Alas, my friend, the intended recipient, wasn't so taken with it either. But her critique, because she knows me, was that it was all a bit too staged and self-conscious. Hey, what can I say, I'm a musician not a writer. It's dangerous to leave me unsupervised around adjectives.

    So ...

    In what will no doubt be a misbegotten effort to write my way out of mortification, and/or maybe turn a sour lemon into lemonade ... I was wondering if there were anything I could do to make you think I'm not insane -- or overly embittered or broken. Surely I'm no more broken than the average person, and certainly not to the extent I conveyed in my errantly posted exercise in performance art.

    So ... if you think of anything I could do, let me know.

    I admit, you intrigue me -- and, to preemptively answer the question that might be bubbling to the surface, no, I'm not hitting on you, I promise. Behind the high English forehead, the regal and elegant profile, beyond the priggish-intellectual demeanor, I imagine you as a true sensualist, and a woman with a past, which might still be half-present. Maybe you were once an exotic dancer, or a cia operative, or maybe exotic dancer was your cover while you gathered intelligence for the cia about the seedy underworld. One of the two, I'd wager.

    (thank you for calling off the XXXth St. thugs, by the way ... I needed to go to the hardware store on XXXth and XXX today and for a moment, I had butterflies in my stomach)
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  22. #22
    Veteran Member youngBUTbanking's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    South Florida
    Posts
    398
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    ^^^

    From a guy POV: You just need to be blunt with him now and tell him that leaving you alone would probably be best for both parties. A "I really don't give a fuck" isn't necessary but if you feel the need for it.
    PABLO SPEAKS THE TRUTH...

  23. #23
    TheSexKitten
    Guest

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    Quote Originally Posted by red red red View Post
    Thanks for the votes of confidence, ladies, but I'm afraid it didn't stop there. Got this yesterday and I now would like to punch this dude. Note the subtle blackmail tone going on. Apparently homeboy knows his way around a google search... which is all you'd need if you wanted to find out I've been a stripper. Anyway:

    Ominous and creepy? Hmm ... I was going for ironic with all the faux "emo" self-hatred and high brow self-justification. Alas, my friend, the intended recipient, wasn't so taken with it either. But her critique, because she knows me, was that it was all a bit too staged and self-conscious. Hey, what can I say, I'm a musician not a writer. It's dangerous to leave me unsupervised around adjectives.

    So ...

    In what will no doubt be a misbegotten effort to write my way out of mortification, and/or maybe turn a sour lemon into lemonade ... I was wondering if there were anything I could do to make you think I'm not insane -- or overly embittered or broken. Surely I'm no more broken than the average person, and certainly not to the extent I conveyed in my errantly posted exercise in performance art.

    So ... if you think of anything I could do, let me know.

    I admit, you intrigue me -- and, to preemptively answer the question that might be bubbling to the surface, no, I'm not hitting on you, I promise. Behind the high English forehead, the regal and elegant profile, beyond the priggish-intellectual demeanor, I imagine you as a true sensualist, and a woman with a past, which might still be half-present. Maybe you were once an exotic dancer, or a cia operative, or maybe exotic dancer was your cover while you gathered intelligence for the cia about the seedy underworld. One of the two, I'd wager.

    (thank you for calling off the XXXth St. thugs, by the way ... I needed to go to the hardware store on XXXth and XXX today and for a moment, I had butterflies in my stomach)


    Uhh, wtf. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you wish him to leave you alone, and if he continues to contact you about matters other than those of a strictly professional nature, then you will go to your supervisor.

    Or something.

    He's a fucking harrassing prick

  24. #24
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    1,936
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 32 Times in 26 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    Quote Originally Posted by red red red View Post
    I admit, you intrigue me -- and, to preemptively answer the question that might be bubbling to the surface, no, I'm not hitting on you, I promise. Behind the high English forehead, the regal and elegant profile, beyond the priggish-intellectual demeanor, I imagine you as a true sensualist, and a woman with a past, which might still be half-present. Maybe you were once an exotic dancer, or a cia operative, or maybe exotic dancer was your cover while you gathered intelligence for the cia about the seedy underworld. One of the two, I'd wager.
    OK, now it's crossed the line, in my opinion. It is beyond inappropriate to imply anything whatsoever, true or untrue, about a colleague's private life. (Most women who'd never been exotic dancers would probably crap themselves if somebody implied that they were.)

    If it were me, this is the point where I would tell him he was making me very uncomfortable, and I would prefer not to be contacted by him again. I would say it as simply and directly as possible, without joking or softening the blow whatsoever. Don't be afraid to tell him that if he doesn't stop you'll take it to your dean, or department head, or whoever the ultimate authority would be in this case.

    Speaking of which, I'm sure you've thought of this, but you need to be keeping these e-mails, as many as you still have, including the myspace request, in case you do have to turn him in. I think you said once that the people who hired you knew you had danced and didn't mind. If that's the case, don't hesitate to actually contact them if he keeps on with this shit.

    It's gone from amusingly creepy to really creepy. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Wish I could kick him in the nuts for you.
    Last edited by xoxoGracexoxo; 04-12-2008 at 06:12 PM.

  25. #25
    Senior Member MeganR's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    76
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Sticky Situation at Day Job

    Quote Originally Posted by creepy dude View Post
    I was wondering if there were anything I could do to make you think I'm not insane
    No, there really isn't. Thanks anyway.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Sticky situation
    By GI Barbie in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 05-05-2009, 02:17 PM
  2. Sticky situation, advice?
    By Aubreyyy in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 10-05-2008, 02:37 AM
  3. sticky roommate situation... help
    By Gypsy74 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-02-2008, 04:11 AM
  4. Advice Please! Sticky situation with a custy..
    By Danni in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 12-28-2005, 01:10 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •