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Thread: "If you'd parked better..."

  1. #1
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default "If you'd parked better..."

    Yesterday I was incredibly busy, and it got to be 3:45 and I realized that I hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch. I was starved, and passing Whole Foods. So I pulled into the parking lot and parked. I am a good parker. I parallel park all the fucking time because of where I live. This is a regular spot. I pull in, and park, and my side is slightly closer than center, almost on the line.

    I'm finishing up an email, so I finish on my phone, and then go to get out of my door. Well, the lady in the car next to me has her passenger door open ALL the way, and I can't get out. She's putting groceries in the front seat. So I knock on my window, like hello, can you let me out please? kthx! I smile. She shuts her door, and then says with a huge attitude, "You know you're barely in your space there."

    My jaw dropped.

    "I'm sorry my poor parking abilities inconvenienced you. Would you like me to repark for you?" And then I walk away, and say, "Bitch." Under my breath, as I'm passing her.

    Well, I'm like, incredulous, but laughing at the whole experience. And then I come out of the store, and SHE LEFT A NOTE ON MY CAR! It says:
    "Point was, if you'd parked better, you'd have been able to get out of your car."




    I told this to PhillyVixen over dinner tonight and she says, "Who leaves notes anymore these days???" She's so right. Whatthefuck was up that woman's rigid tight asshole? I think she needed a good screwing. Man! Hilarious. So, moral of the story: beware of rigid women in subaru outbacks and how you park next to them.

    Love it!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    Whatever. Bet she's a joy to live with, having to be right all the time.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    I would be a bitch too if I were a miserable, dried up hag.

    If you're in the parking lot of a grocery store... it's common courtesy to close your door and let people out of thier cars if you're loading groceries. It takes two fucking seconds, much less time than it takes to write a friggin' note!
    .

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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    Um, even if you WERE centered in you parking spot, her door still would have been in the way, right?

    Yes. It would have.

    She needs to shut up.
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

  6. #6
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    you're SO right sunshine! and susan, hilarious, i WAS on the main line.

    Love it!

  7. #7
    ajbaer
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    Bitch
    I had to leave a note on a windshield the other day. It read:
    Sorry. I hit your car...
    It wasn't a good note to read.
    End of threadjack

  8. #8
    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."


  9. #9
    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    Quote Originally Posted by Chrissy68 View Post
    I told this to PhillyVixen over dinner tonight and she says, "Who leaves notes anymore these days???" She's so right. Whatthefuck was up that woman's rigid tight asshole? I think she needed a good screwing. Man! Hilarious. So, moral of the story: beware of rigid women in subaru outbacks and how you park next to them.
    Ha! You were totally in the right - and like Sunshine pointed, her wide-open door would have blocked you anyway even if you were a few inches over - the few inches she was complaining about.

    But. As to the bolded part. I confess here and now, in front of y'all, that I have left notes on people's cars before. Now, I'm talking about ridiculously obnoxious parking jobs that take up two spots due to just arrogance and carelessness - like the Hummer that's parked on a diagonal across the lines, so far that it's literally impossible for even the smallest car to get into the space next to them. That, IMHO, warrants a note.

    But you were perfectly fine, no question!
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

  10. #10
    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    I wish she would have left the lady a note back about the stick in her ass and possible ways of removing it.
    RW i bet you leave witty clever notes, i wouldn't mind a note from you even if it was because i'm a bad parker. (although i must say sometimes i drive my husbands beast of an escalade and i park that thing as if it were a mini cooper!!)



    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Tell him that he's a load his mom should have swallowed.

  11. #11
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    I leave notes too, Rose! Some of them really ought to be framed. Never give me a Sharpie and paper when I'm pissed off with road rage.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    Quite possibly she may have been waiting as you were finishing up your e-mail-not sure,then she was like wtf if she's not going to look up I'm gonna finish loading(purley speculation on my part).The note however is kinda cool to me at least she didnt leave a key mark down the side of the car.

  13. #13
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    ^ yeah, that'd make sense, except that i saw her come and open her door, without even glancing at me. i actually thought, well, how many groceries can she fit in the front seat of an outback, lemme just finish this email now and wait a sec. but then she took her SWEET ASS TIME.

    PV: you're so right, I hope I'll see her again. Then I'll write, "Your parking jobs are just so amazing, and I hope to learn that wisdom some day. In the meantime, can we work on removing the tree trunk lodged up your ass?"

    Love it!

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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    http://iparklikeanidiot.com/
    She needs one of those.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  15. #15
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    ^^^ omg i soooo need those. all these soccer mom bitches with their huge suvs that cant even see over the steering wheel to park let along drive the damn thing.

  16. #16
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    Haha TM!

  17. #17
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    Chrissy, you should submit this story along with the note to .

  18. #18
    ajbaer
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    I did leave a note on another car once that I remembered. It was late late late, and someone was parked in my reserved spot. Part of our HOA pay gives us this. Well someone parked there and I had to park in Cinnamon (affectionately Criminal) Woods and walk a long as way home becauese there were no spots here. A whole different problem.
    So I left a note "Don't fucking park in my spot again or I'll call the tow company" kthxbie

  19. #19
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    That sucks.

    But. I am guilty of passive-aggressive note-leaving. I'm a bitch and a coward sometimes, but the people I give the notes to totally deserve it, so whatever.

    Last semester these two girls would NOT stop talking in class. Like, really, really loudly and very annoyingly. They were two rows ahead of me. I couldn't hear the lecture, I needed to hear it, and they wouldn't stop for like 30min. I tried 'clearing my throat', I couldn't tap their shoulder...SO. I wrote the following:

    CONGRATULATIONS!!...
    (on the over side of the paper)
    ...YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!! Please stop talking in class. K? Thanks!!!

    Haha, oh god. I'm like a crazy person, but at least I had the balls to pass the note while still there. They gave me very dirty looks, and I smiled. Wow, I felt nuts, but totally mission accomplished.

    And last year, my neighbour had my car towed. I parked in his spot (though only halfway in) because some people kept parking in my spot. The spot I was paying $60/ month for. And he HAD ME towed, without any warning or anything. I first thought it was stolen, but I figured it out, and it took me a whole irritating afternoon to get the car back, pay the fines, etc. My landlord paid the fines for me, but when I got back with my car, the bitch who took my spot the day before, thus resulting in the towing, had AGAIN parked in my spot. I grabbed a blue magic marker and left a note in her windshield that said something like:

    HI! PLEASE DO NOT PARK IN MY SPOT, this spot, the spot that I PAY for. My car was TOWED yesterday because YOU were parked in MY spot!!! >:I

    (yes, I drew a big angry blue smiley, for emphasis). Well, the next day I was driving home, and I saw her little blue hatchback in front of me. "Please don't let it be her, please don't let it be her...". Of course it was. So we both got to the parking lot at the same time. I parked in my spot, she in an another one. I dawdled around in my car for a while, hoping she'd be gone so I wouldn't have to confront her. But she waited for me, of course. She was all smiles and apologies, telling me she "enjoyed the angry face". I was super embarrassed, but you know, these notes always get the job done. But I don't feel like a very evolved human being, no.

    Not that I'm trying to justify that bitch, just note leaving in general. It's evil and petty, but effective. That bitch, however, would have required some aggressive-aggressive action. Who does THAT? lol

  20. #20
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    ajbaer: i'd have called the tow company period. your spot, they go byebye.

    Love it!

  21. #21
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    Woah, ajbaer. I must have grazed over your post. Are you my neighbour? lol

  22. #22
    ajbaer
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    maybe? I'm in maryland.

  23. #23
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    Then no, but we must live in a parallel universe. A universe of asshat parking. Fucking parking.

  24. #24
    ajbaer
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    I'm changing my location to asshat parking.

  25. #25
    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: "If you'd parked better..."

    This is one reason I quit driving two door cars, or parking to the right of a two door car if at all possible.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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