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Thread: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

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    Featured Member Gemini_Syn's Avatar
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    Default I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    My babies are getting older! Chey just turned 12, got her first period, and can fit my old bras kinda. Now she wants make up (HELL NO), cell phone (HELL NO), and a bunch of other girly crap. A boy called here the other day for her, I didn't know what to do, so I hung up on him. At least she gets nearly straight A's and plays sports and all that.

    By the end of October I will have a 12, 11, 9, 8, and 6 year old. I wanna cry.


  2. #2
    MsQwerty
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    She sounds pretty normal to me (-:
    If she is getting straight As I dont think you have too much to worry about. Please dont take this the wrong way but you sound a bit like my mum when I was 12 and she made my life quite miserable by not letting me have and do stuff that other kids my age were doing. I did it all anyway behind her back. Maybe you could find a happy medium where she has some of the things she wants some of the time as a reward for keeping up the grades or something?

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    Omg don't hang up on the boy, that's not nice! It's normal and you can't hold her back. Why not, lke Q said, give her some things now and some later? A little light eyeshadow and blush.. or foundation if she has acne? You'll only succeed in making her teased and upset by controlling her growing up. Sucks, I know.

    I used to get straight As and my mum was such a bitch over everything else I stopped getting As because I didn't see the point anymore.


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    Act like a lady
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    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  4. #4
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    :deep breath in and out: honey she's no longer a baby, yes she is your baby but she is growing up. If she wants certain things give her responsibilities around the home and with school and when she meets those responsibilities bargain with her. I wanted to smoke when I was in 6th grade, my mother said "oh you do? you want to be an adult? ok we can do it" the next morning no breakfast, the laundry wasn't getting done, I had nothing to do. Mom was eating and I said "where is mine?" and she said "oh no you are a big girl now, you have to cook your own food, do your laundry, oh and we have to talk about a little job so you can buy your cigarettes and start chipping in with the rent" with a serious face as she ate. I said "damn I don't want to be an adult!"

    Not saying you do that but I didn't smoke that's for sure! well now I do but I buy my own! lol

    Anyway have a list of things she must do in order to get ONE of the things she wants

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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    It's totally normal, unfortunately. I've tried everything from bribery to downright begging, but my Kids still grow. It's sad. My Eldest Daughter (Stephanie) just turned 14 on April 2nd. My Eldest baby, my "Little Punkin Man" (Matthew) will be 16 in June. He's currently in driving school! It's not fair. Delia will be 5 next month and she'll be starting Kindergarten in September. At least Hunter, who will be 2 in August, will be around for at least a little while to keep me company. They grow up too fast---and I don't like it!

  6. #6
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    I'm so terrified of my baby getting older. She started crawling recently and she gets into EVERYTHING, so I'm wondering how the hell I'm gonna deal with her when she starts walking. I think when she starts driving it will be far too much for me to handle. lol
    Why can't they stay little babies forever!? *cry*

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    Haha i know what you mean my oldest girl in 8 and I about cryed the other day when she informed me she is no longer into dora the explorer and seasme street lol.

  8. #8
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    I think I'm the odd one here but I want my kids to grow up, faster, faster!!!!!!!!

    Maybe mommy having bad day here but I swear 5 and 2 is not a cool age to have in one room!!! I want to rip my ears off if I hear mommy he's hitting me, no stop, I'm gonna hit you, ouch, stoop :bangs head on desk:

  9. #9
    Veteran Member kikidejavu's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    as someone who just moved out of my mothers house, i can tell you that it's def not a good idea to keep her locked away from the world.
    she will feel like she's missing out, so when she gets on her own she will go overboard on the things she feels like she didnt get to do.

    i moved out two years ago, and let me tell you that first year i did everything my mother had prevented me from doing to the extreme, and put myself in alot of situations i didnt know how to handle, because they were new to me.

    its not good to be brand new when you are out on your own, its better to learn how to handle yourself while you are in the safety of mommy's house.

    you know how the french give their kids liquor, and later in life, they dont become alkies because they dont feel the need to overdo it? (not saying to give her liquor) but it works the same way with boys, and parties, clothes whatever.
    "We are the coolest mothafuckas on the planet....The sky is fallin ain't no need to panic"... -Outkast

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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    My mom did this when I turned thirteen. She took me to the drug store and bought me makeup. She taught me what looked good with my skin, and how to apply it. I remember she bought me a nude pink lipstick, brown mascara, neutral shadows, and a compact. I was happy as a clam. Use it to bond with her.

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    Featured Member lizlizliz's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    5 kids?


    Holy moly.
    Quote Originally Posted by alessandra View Post
    I like them large and cut. Sort of like strawberries.

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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    Why can't she have makeup and a cell phone? Is it because: a) you think she's not mature enough; b) you don't want to pay for it; or c) she's your first born and you're sad to see her grow up ?

    My 12 year old has makeup and a cell phone. As long as her makeup is tasteful and age appropriate, I don't mind. She doesn't even wear it everyday.


  13. #13
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    I think the cell phone is actually a GOOD idea, personally!! TBH, most kids these days get phones a lot younger than 12, not to mention you can use it to keep tabs on her, hehe. That's what my mom did. Maybe preload it with a certain amount of minutes per month, and you can use it to give her a call to see what she's up to.

    About makeup, I know everyone is different but I feel my mom went about this the right way. At 12, I wanted SOOO badly pastel blue eyeshadow, because all the cool girls were wearing it. My mom refused, so I used a bright pink lipgloss on my eyelids instead (weird). So we then decided that when highschool hit I would be allowed more makeup choice, but before that I could wear neutral shadow, concealer, and light lipglosses.

    I was in heaven!

    About boys calling, use those opportunities to get to know her friends a little bit. Say hi, who are you? Oh cool, what classes do you two share? Oh that's fun.

    And then eavesdrop a bit on the convo. Knowing who she's knowing is WAY better than scaring everyone away and forcing them to lie.

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    Featured Member lizlizliz's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    I'd be super wary of letting my child have her own cell phone. I wouldn't let her sleep with it and I'd have to monitor the shit out of her.
    Quote Originally Posted by alessandra View Post
    I like them large and cut. Sort of like strawberries.

  15. #15
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    ^^^ Yeah. Id you do get her one, don't let her have it at night and don't be afraid to check the call logs liberally when the bills come. There's just really no need for that type of privacy yet.

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    Featured Member Gemini_Syn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    Ok we discussed EVERYTHING today. Now I know what my mother went through but I know I was a hell of a lot worse than my oldest daughter and complete opposite at that!

    She can now wear tinted chap stick and a little mascara as long as I buy it and pick it out. She agreed............for now. Don't know why she needs mascara, her eyelashes are naturally black and curly anyway. Maybe buy the clear stuff? I did let her play around with my make up today, she didn't do too bad.

    We talked about the cell phone. It's still (HELL) no right now. We live in a very small town and I have all her friends phone numbers. All the moms here know who's kid is who's and we keep an eye out for all the kids. When she turns 16 and has driving privileges then, yes, she can have a cell phone. I'll get one added to our family plan, and then I'll have all the numbers she calls.

    I had to finish 'the talk' with her, so I did a girls day thing. We went to the mall, I let her get a mani/pedi, she didn't get the fuss over that one! We shopped at Claire's and she got a few things. We had lunch and then we came home for 'the talk'.

    I explained her about diseases and pregnancy and how it happens. She's seen her brothers naked, so she gets it. WE looked up a few things on the internet, including pictures of diseases. Don't look at me, she wanted to! But she gets it.

    We talked about virginity and what it is and what it means in society. She gets it, she is not interested in boys (or girls) at the moment. I even explained to her what gay is.

    Do you want to know what she told me? She said, "MOM! I am not interested in boys or girls! They are both annoying. I have little brothers and a little sister, no way am I going to get a boy friend or a girl friend. I'm TOO busy with school and sports and stuff!"

    OMG. She has a brain! Thank GOD!

    Later on she said I'm a good mom but I worry too much. She also said the boy I hung up on she didn't want to talk to anyway, he's annoying.

    I hope she stays this way for ten years. Her brothers are next, lord help me!


  17. #17
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    I am proud of you, you are a good mom honey, of course you worry you are a MOM! she will get it once she is one, I got it very well once my children were born, it just clicked all my family did for me.

    You handled it very well.

    :high 5:

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    thats wonderful gem i just took a mental note of every thing you did for when i get there honesly. Thanks.

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    Featured Member Gemini_Syn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    Quote Originally Posted by High_Heel_Lover View Post
    I am proud of you, you are a good mom honey, of course you worry you are a MOM! she will get it once she is one, I got it very well once my children were born, it just clicked all my family did for me.

    You handled it very well.

    :high 5:
    None of my girls are allowed to have babies, EVER. LOL! my boys can't get anyone pregnant either.

    Quote Originally Posted by krchab99 View Post
    thats wonderful gem i just took a mental note of every thing you did for when i get there honesly. Thanks.
    Make sure you do a mom/daughter day, it was fun. Do it on a regular basis, Chey wants to go shopping again with me sometimes soon, she says.


  20. #20
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    Oh girl please! one day you will say "where are my grandchildren already?!" lol

  21. #21
    MsQwerty
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    Quote Originally Posted by High_Heel_Lover View Post
    I think I'm the odd one here but I want my kids to grow up, faster, faster!!!!!!!!
    :
    Me too, lol. I do miss my son being small though, but I love that hes almost grown up too. Its fun seeing him evolve into his own independent being!
    My son can make his own decisions for the most part and do what he likes so long as he hurts no one including himself.
    I got him his first phone when he was bout 9 for safety reasons but he was around 12 / 13 when he and his friends started using phone regularly with each other. (It all seems really harmless stuff btw.) He is 16 now and doing all the normal things teenagers do. Thats life

  22. #22
    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: I wanna cry! Fellow mommies, HELP!?!?!

    The bset advice I can give is don't try to keep too tight a hold on her.
    You need to give her a bit of room to grow as hard as it might be.
    My baby is 13, the other two are 16 and 17 so i've been in your shoes.



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