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Thread: Going mad. Also, you guys are wonderful.

  1. #1
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Going mad. Also, you guys are wonderful.

    Yeah. So, I'm going bugfuck crazy in an apartment by myself in a small city in China, as you all know. Really isolated. For a while I enjoyed the novelty, and traveling on my vacation was worth everything, but now I just want the carousel to stop so I can get off.

    It's gotten to the point where I spend most of my time wishing for the social and creative resources I have at home. Strip clubs! Beads! Essential oils! Books! Coffee! Friends! Sex partners!

    One of my acquaintances here -- who's here for the long haul, several years -- said he went back home for a bit to visit his parents, and they asked, "What are you going to do when you get back?"-- meaning job-wise, long-range-plans, etc. He just smirked and said, "I'm going to spend a few months reading books and drinking coffee."

    I kinda wish I were a kid again so I could threaten to run away. But I'm a grownup now, and gotta stay out my contract. It will be exactly fifty more days... I miss my marriage and my extended family of friends and loved ones like crazy.

    But I just wanted to give everyone here (and those no longer with us) a heartfelt thank-you. Stripperweb is playing an essential role in keeping me sane. I spend a lot of time planning for my return to dancing -- making lists of things to get and do when I get back home, and other things I can do while I'm here.

    Reading all your posts makes me feel a connection to the rest of the world and the rest of my life. I've been spending hours in here every day for about a month now, (which I warn everyone, I probably won't when I get back. I'll be spending that time in bed. ) Sometimes it feels like I'm just killing time, but other times it feels like I'm helping to create something in a community, many members of which have helped me in the past and in the present. So a big thank you to everyone and keep up the good work. :-)
    Quote Originally Posted by red red red View Post
    Like super-fast, frenetic, chipmunklike stylized humping with this look on her face like "Kill! Kill!"
    Quote Originally Posted by iseestars View Post
    i think people like going to parties and clubs and looking like douchebags.

  2. #2
    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
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    Default Re: Going mad. Also, you guys are wonderful.

    One of my best friends is a China person. He's spent a lot of time there learning the language and working various jobs. All he does is bitch about it, but he keeps going back, so I sort of secondhandedly have an idea of the pressures of life there and the whole experience of being in a culture so different you might as well be on Mars. This winter I spent the holidays in Paris with him and a French guy he met in China. They spent a lot of time gleefully moaning about how horrible China is in that way where you could tell there was a lot about it that they really loved. It definitely sounds like the kind of place you'd have mixed feelings about...

    Anyway, when A. comes home from China, his first order of business is eating his face off. I've seen it. It's crazy.

    You're so close to the end! I can imagine that life does not get quite as intense anywhere else as it does for an American living in a small town in China... you'll have so much to talk about! Anyway, good luck, sending you wishes for a fast 50 days, and bring us pictures.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: Going mad. Also, you guys are wonderful.

    Hi, ChaosFairy,

    Just wanted to write to tell you to keep up your spirits--everytime I'm in a situation like that I wind up making small goals to get me through the fifty days or whatever time it is: "I'll learn about this!" "I'll do x pushups a day!" I make a point to try and keep myself busy--taking photos, reading about the place, touring, whatever might occupy me. The time goes faster and I find when I get back I've learned something.

    I hope the time goes fast for you. I know what you mean about wanting those simple pleasures back. They will be for you soon--that's not too long. Hang in there!
    JK Jim

  4. #4
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Going mad. Also, you guys are wonderful.

    Wait?? You're in CHINA right now? How did I miss this? I thought you were in Portland!!!

    Keep your chin up!! Only 50 more days, right??

  5. #5
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Going mad. Also, you guys are wonderful.

    I think there's a reason for everything, and you are bound to gain something positive from this waiting period. I know it seems like a long wait now, but once you are home it will have passed and you can look forward to so many more happy things in the future. It will all be part of the learning experience.
    I think SW keeps me sane too. I don't know how all these people can just leave. I'd go nuts.

  6. #6
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Going mad. Also, you guys are wonderful.

    red red red: Yeah, I know some people who are in it for the long haul. In some ways, it would be easier if I were. But I can't be, because I want to come home to my partners, and that is more important than anything. :-)

    Glamazon: I live in Portland normally and I'm horribly nostalgic for it right about now, so I'm posting in all the Portland threads salivating over Portland food and weather and cafes and strip clubs and, aww, man, everything.

    jhuka, that's a good idea! Sometimes I get distracted and forget to enforce things, but I do have some projects in the meantime.

    AlexxaHex, thanks for the support. I know, about the leaving! It's really disturbing. :-(
    Quote Originally Posted by red red red View Post
    Like super-fast, frenetic, chipmunklike stylized humping with this look on her face like "Kill! Kill!"
    Quote Originally Posted by iseestars View Post
    i think people like going to parties and clubs and looking like douchebags.

  7. #7
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: Going mad. Also, you guys are wonderful.

    your in China and wishing you were in America?! lol.

    ok, i understand the comforts of home too-i went thru that in japan,except at least i had my boy with me. im sorry your finding it hard. a freiend of mine went to Korea a few years back,hated it, and went home last month, i just got an email from her 2 days ago saying shes going back.

    can i ask, why did you go? and where are you?

    im so jelous, i cant wait to do mainland china properly!!

  8. #8
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Going mad. Also, you guys are wonderful.

    I went because I couldn't get a job in Portland (and was completely burned out on stripping + not physically suitable for it at the time) and also because I'd always wanted to teach abroad. China is.... If you want to understand America better, go to China. There are strange similarities despite the very wide differences...

    For the first several months and during my vacation, I really dug in and experienced being where I was, but now, I'm just plain done with it on an emotional level.

    I'm in a small city in Jiangsu Province. PM me if you want to know more. It's small enough that I don't want searches on it to pull up this and also my real name. I'll hint that it's famous for Huaiyang cuisine... which unfortunately sports a giant meatball as its main dish.
    Quote Originally Posted by red red red View Post
    Like super-fast, frenetic, chipmunklike stylized humping with this look on her face like "Kill! Kill!"
    Quote Originally Posted by iseestars View Post
    i think people like going to parties and clubs and looking like douchebags.

  9. #9
    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Going mad. Also, you guys are wonderful.

    And isn't your internet censored over there? That would suck.

  10. #10
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Going mad. Also, you guys are wonderful.

    Quote Originally Posted by mermaidnz View Post
    your in China and wishing you were in America?! lol.

    Portland isn't like most of the US. It is closer to Vancouver B.C. in it's vibe.

    Thechaosfairy, can you hook up with ex-pats in your area via the internet? Maybe having some people with a common culture can help make the next 50 days a bit more bearable.

    I'm glad that we're here for you! I love stripperweb for that as well.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  11. #11
    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Going mad. Also, you guys are wonderful.

    I understand, at least to some extent -- when I was in Guam, I spent SO much time in SW! (In large part because internet cafes = air con). It helped me have a certain baseline of sanity that I really treasured.

  12. #12
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: Going mad. Also, you guys are wonderful.

    ohhh i just googled the Jiangsu Province, some of the pictures make it look BEAUTIFUL! theres a cute lil place (its probably massive lol) with waterways, its like a chinese venice!

    there has to be some sort of expat community around? is Shanghai close enough to go to? cos i know there used to be another member here who lived there for a few years, and didnt seem to find it too hard, i guess the bigger city had something to do with it tho?

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