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Thread: Fuck my accountant. Seriously. (A Rant)

  1. #1
    Yekhefah
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    Default Fuck my accountant. Seriously. (A Rant)

    Today is April 14, and my tax return has to be filed by tomorrow. My accountant's job is to prepare my return and send it to me via Priority Mail, at which point I sign it and drop it in the mailbox for Uncle Sam.

    Do I have my return? Oh no I do not.

    How am I supposed to sign it and mail it when I haven't received it? Care to answer this question, O Worst Accountant In Los Angeles? Every year I have to go behind you and clean up all your mistakes. This year one of your mistakes cost K a thousand dollars. Thank goodness I will never again be utilizing your services.

    I've been trying to call this guy for the last half-hour and I'm getting a busy signal. A BUSY SIGNAL! It's 2008 and this guy doesn't have fucking voicemail? I am the Mother Of All Luddites and *I* have voicemail. For forty minutes now, I've been pushing the same three buttons: Phone On, Redial, Phone Off. Phone On, Redial, Phone Off. Phone On, Redial, Phone Off. Phone On, Redial, Phone Off. Phone On, Redial, Phone Off. Phone On, Redial, Phone Off. Phone On, Redial, Phone Off. Phone On, Redial, Phone Off. Phone On, Redial, Phone Off. Phone On, Redial, Phone Off. Phone On, Redial, Phone Off. Phone On, Redial, Phone Off. Does he not think I have a better way to spend my evening?

    How do I tell him that *HE* is going to be paying the late fee when my taxes aren't filed on time, especially since he told me NOT to send in the extension form?

    Fuck you, Accountant. Fuck you in the mouth with a cattle prod.

  2. #2
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Fuck my accountant. Seriously. (A Rant)

    I'm getting Turbo Tax next year. This is ridiculous.

    This year I sent him my top sheet with all my income, deductions, etc. He called me back to say, "I have your top sheet here but I don't have any 1099's or 1040's or anything like that. Were you just making cash or what?"

    Um, at the very top of that sheet it says, "Profession: Exotic Dancer / Dominatrix."

    No, honey. I get a 1099 from all my clients. Just let me dip into the file and get all the receipts from my lap dances and bondage sessions.

  3. #3
    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fuck my accountant. Seriously. (A Rant)

    That sucks ass! I'm sorry!
    If there's any way it can work, if he can fax you the approval sheet somewhere and you can fax it back so he can e-file it, maybe that would work?

    I already got my taxes filed (I have an accountant in sellwood for reference for 2009, btw), but I'm very stressed out... I just deposited a check for the taxes today after sending in the checks last friday, but fucking US Bank claims that due to 'account inactivity' they are putting a hold on my check until Wednesday. Fuck you guys! Just because I think you suck and barely ever use that checking account, you can't hold my tax money! (I use a credit union for 95% of my banking -- I thought i'd be clever and use a major bank since I'd have faster turnaround. ugh!)

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    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fuck my accountant. Seriously. (A Rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    I'm getting Turbo Tax next year. This is ridiculous.

    This year I sent him my top sheet with all my income, deductions, etc. He called me back to say, "I have your top sheet here but I don't have any 1099's or 1040's or anything like that. Were you just making cash or what?"

    Um, at the very top of that sheet it says, "Profession: Exotic Dancer / Dominatrix."

    No, honey. I get a 1099 from all my clients. Just let me dip into the file and get all the receipts from my lap dances and bondage sessions.
    Fuck that!!!! wtf?

    Mine says 'entertainer'. They accept an excel document with nightly earnings and monthly summaries and are very patient as a figure out deductions -- AND categorize my makeup vs clothing vs fees for me.

    Your accountant sounds awful! Please post a bad review on angie's list or something.

  5. #5
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Fuck my accountant. Seriously. (A Rant)

    Glad I never went to him!

    OMG wait - I'm so tired I just realized that it's probably *not* the same guy since you moved and all.

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    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fuck my accountant. Seriously. (A Rant)

    I'm gonna PM you.
    Quote Originally Posted by red red red View Post
    Like super-fast, frenetic, chipmunklike stylized humping with this look on her face like "Kill! Kill!"
    Quote Originally Posted by iseestars View Post
    i think people like going to parties and clubs and looking like douchebags.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fuck my accountant. Seriously. (A Rant)

    My guy faxed it to me. Like, he called me to tell me it was done while I was driving down the road, and I found an exit with a Mailboxes Etc, and went in and called his secretary and she faxed it to me right then and there. Super easy.



  8. #8
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Fuck my accountant. Seriously. (A Rant)

    Will the IRS accept a fax? I didn't know that!

  9. #9
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fuck my accountant. Seriously. (A Rant)

    Nooo, he faxed it to me. I'll mail it to the IRS, but I didn't want him sticking it in the mail to me and have it not get to where I am in time.



  10. #10
    God/dess Miss Jessica's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fuck my accountant. Seriously. (A Rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Fuck that!!!! wtf?

    Mine says 'entertainer'. They accept an excel document with nightly earnings and monthly summaries and are very patient as a figure out deductions -- AND categorize my makeup vs clothing vs fees for me.

    Your accountant sounds awful! Please post a bad review on angie's list or something.
    That sounds wonderful. Do you have a link for this company/person?
    "We all must suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. In order to achieve what others don't, you have to do what others won't."


  11. #11
    Yekhefah
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    Angry Re: Fuck my accountant. Seriously. (A Rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lena View Post
    Nooo, he faxed it to me. I'll mail it to the IRS, but I didn't want him sticking it in the mail to me and have it not get to where I am in time.
    No, I knew what you meant, I just didn't think the IRS would accept a copy that was faxed to you and then mailed to them. Anyway I couldn't get ahold of him, his phone has been busy all day yesterday and today, and he hasn't called me back. Last night I called him about 10:30 pm and left a message on his answering machine explaining the situation. Haven't heard back from him, but the check I wrote him over a week ago cleared today. How nice.

    This guy is so very fired. I went to the post office today and mailed the extension form, and I hope it's not too late for that.

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