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Thread: my dad is in the hospital

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    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Thumbs down my dad is in the hospital

    ugh. i just got a call from his wife.

    apparently this weekend he was out mowing his yard and came into the house crying saying that she needed to take him into the hospital now because he's having bad thoughts i.e. killing himself.

    just a little background...

    as many of you know, my nanny died last december. nanny is his mother. my dad also has, quote from the dr "one of the worst cases of rheumatoid arthritis i've ever seen"

    he's been in a lot of pain for years, finally has gotten much of it under control, but the meds for that make him not sleep, so of course they give him MORE drugs.

    well, after nanny died, he got REALLY depressed. pretty much the only thing keeping him from killing himself was my kids.

    so they put him on ambien cr and effexor! WTF! i HATE those drugs. honestly after all of this he needs to get on the ambien and effexor class action lawsuits. (the shit wasn't even helping him at all anyway! just making things worse!)

    i told him NOT to take those and look into other things to manage his problems. i knew they were causing his suicidal thoughts.

    not ONE doctor has mentioned to him that he may have ptsd. i'm the ONLY one that did! WTF!!!!! why the hell is his daughter having to give medical advise!

    so now i just got off the phone with his wife and she tells me (something i did not know), that right before nanny took her last breath, her eyes got huge and she sat straight up in bed and yelled "god help me!", laid down and died. so i guess my dad now thinks that HE killed her for giving her, her morphine shots (of course dr prescribed) to manage her pain!

    so fuck ya he has ptsd! anyone can see that!

    i'm so pissed at his dr's i can't see straight.

    i'm gonna go see him tomorrow...i'm preparing for a deep talk and lots of tears.





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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    I'm sorry-I hope he can get the help he needs at the hospital.

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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    I'm so sorry SS. It must be so frustrating to have someone you love so much be in so much pain. I'll be thinking about you. *hugs*

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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    Your dad is lucky to have an advocate like you. I hope that you are able to get things straightened out with the doctors.

  5. #5
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    Oh, your poor family. It pisses me off so much that "doctors" are mostly just glorified drug dealers these days. Big Pharm will stop at nothing to just dope people up with whatever chemicals they can find, without any regard to how it affects them, and they pay doctors to make it happen. It makes me sick.

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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    Omg, a passing like the one you described was my worst nightmare when I was watching my brother die. It's really hard to not take that personally.

    I feel like a loser crying right now but it just makes me think of what my family went through. PTSD is VERY real. Please continue to be there for him and giving him great advice and drilling the doctors.

    He may not seem so appreciative of it now (duh, because he's depressed) but you have no idea how a loved ones support really truly can be the last thing keeping someone able to hold on.

    I really hope he is okay. Make sure he also knows that it's okay for men to cry and receive help. A lot of the time they feel so pressured to hold everything in and be strong men, when in actually EVERYONE needs to greive and show emotions and express vulnerable feelings.

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    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    Agreed. A lot of doctors are full of bullshit and you end up having to do the research yourself... I hope your talk with your dad goes well.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lysondra
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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    Oh God, you poor thing. I'm sorry you and your family are going through this. Your dad is lucky to have such a great daughter supporting him. I don't have any advice I'm afraid having never gone through anything similar, I just wanna say that I feel for you, its a horrible thing to have to see your parent suffer. Sending some cyber hugs,



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    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    thanks everyone.

    i'm so irritated that it was never even mentioned or encouraged for him to go talk to a psych before this happened. i guess he's in the ER for now until a bed in the psych ward opens up. he says he's fine there, has a tv and whatnot. he finally talked with a psychiatrist today..i think i'm going to try to talk to her and give her some background on him as his his wife.

    ugh! i hate this. he's only 55!

    part of his depression too is that he has been in construction all of his life. lifting, moving carrying etc...and now he's pretty much at a desk job. so yea.

    he's not afraid to cry at all. i've had many talks with him where he cried. he's always worried (his words "get's the feeling") that he did something to me as a child while he was drunk and i'm sad/mad with him. he did, he hurt me pretty bad a couple of times, i have forgiven him for it in my own way, but i also would NEVER tell him that he hit me hard. it would absolutely kill him to know that he hurt one of kids, he's like a big teddy bear and pretty sensitive with a tough guy exterior (you know, the biker teddy bear thing lol) and i'm ok with not telling him. no point in hurting him since i've forgiven. i just tell him i don't really remember my childhood, which i have blocked most of everything out up to about 8 yrs old, except a couple of really good and really bad memories.

    fuck, this sucks.

    i'm supposed to be happy right now. my life is going to good. i'm going on a cruise in 11 days, i'm signing a new lease TOMORROW for another studio, my business is doing great and now this.

    i honestly would feel guilty if he ever went nuts and killed himself. i would feel like i wasn't a good enough daughter, even though he's always telling me how proud he is of me. i hope the love of his grandkids will keep him sane. he has said he doesn't want to miss out on taking my kids fishing and camping and stuff.

    all this shit started with the RA. all the drugs they have him on to control it has fucked him up. i keep telling him to at least start going to acupuncture and such and change up his diet. but you know how hard it is to change someone that age, habits run deep.

    this just sucks





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    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    Quote Originally Posted by sassysummer View Post
    thanks everyone.

    i'm so irritated that it was never even mentioned or encouraged for him to go talk to a psych before this happened. i guess he's in the ER for now until a bed in the psych ward opens up. he says he's fine there, has a tv and whatnot. he finally talked with a psychiatrist today..i think i'm going to try to talk to her and give her some background on him as his his wife.

    ugh! i hate this. he's only 55!

    part of his depression too is that he has been in construction all of his life. lifting, moving carrying etc...and now he's pretty much at a desk job. so yea.

    he's not afraid to cry at all. i've had many talks with him where he cried. he's always worried (his words "get's the feeling") that he did something to me as a child while he was drunk and i'm sad/mad with him. he did, he hurt me pretty bad a couple of times, i have forgiven him for it in my own way, but i also would NEVER tell him that he hit me hard. it would absolutely kill him to know that he hurt one of kids, he's like a big teddy bear and pretty sensitive with a tough guy exterior (you know, the biker teddy bear thing lol) and i'm ok with not telling him. no point in hurting him since i've forgiven. i just tell him i don't really remember my childhood, which i have blocked most of everything out up to about 8 yrs old, except a couple of really good and really bad memories.

    fuck, this sucks.

    i'm supposed to be happy right now. my life is going to good. i'm going on a cruise in 11 days, i'm signing a new lease TOMORROW for another studio, my business is doing great and now this.

    i honestly would feel guilty if he ever went nuts and killed himself. i would feel like i wasn't a good enough daughter, even though he's always telling me how proud he is of me. i hope the love of his grandkids will keep him sane. he has said he doesn't want to miss out on taking my kids fishing and camping and stuff.

    all this shit started with the RA. all the drugs they have him on to control it has fucked him up. i keep telling him to at least start going to acupuncture and such and change up his diet. but you know how hard it is to change someone that age, habits run deep.

    this just sucks
    It's amazing what doctors can completely look over. My bipolar bf was prescribed amphetamine for his "ADD" that made his manic episodes violent. The more "medicine" he took the more irrational and violent his behavior became. I had to take it upon myself to figure out that his doctors were basically just pushing adderall on him and didn't even notice or care that it was literally driving him insane. Now he's drug free and pretty much a new person. (He still has his moments but nothing like before.)

    I can really relate to you about your father. I'm a daddy's girl, even though he was a horrifying person for the first part of my childhood. He was a violent alcoholic, but he got help and managed to stay relatively sober during my teenage years. He was constantly almost killing himself. I still have to live with the fact that he could just fall over. The man has done such crazy shit to his body it's amazing he's alive. His fucking appendix exploded and he thought it was a muscle cramp... he finally went to the hospital and they said he could have died from blood poisoning Anyhoo, my dad also suffers from PTSD. He doesn't really talk about it, but from what I gather he was a heroin addict and did some pretty nasty things.

    I'm sending you and your dad my thoughts!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lysondra
    I had previously stuck the bananas and cucumber in my cooter, yes.

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    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    Psych drugs can be really useful... just like garlic and chocolate and wasabi are really useful.

    I guarantee you if you feed someone a giant bowl of garlic and chocolate and wasabi, it's not gonna be pretty.

    And that's pretty much what American healthcare wants to do with older people these days. The utter and complete malpractice that I've heard of, with folks over fifty... ugh.

    I hope you find a doctor for him who's not an idiot. Maybe a naturopath? Find one who's not going to try to tell him to cold turkey on everything, as that's really dangerous, but who will carefully evaluate what each drug is doing and whether it can be replaced with other therapies? The only doctor I've ever been to who I trusted further than I could throw the clinic was a naturopath. She actually knew her pharmacology, inside and out, both with drugs and with supplements.

    She actually knew more than me about pharmacology. Which EVERY doctor should, damn it. And yet I keep having to explain what the fuck MSM and milk thistle are and what they do. "Serotonin? Oh, I don't know very much about that." Gaarrrgh.

    I feel so sorry for what you're going through and I really hope things get better soon. One thing it sounds like might be really screwing up his state of mind is lack of exercise. I noticed that when I stopped dancing, my thinking also got muddled unless I went out on regular bike rides. Exercise actually affects a lot of things, including brain chemistry. Certain kinds of exercise are also good for arthritis: swimming, possibly yoga or tai chi.
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    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    yea, he's not going cold turkey. they are weening him from the both of those drugs (like i told him to a month ago) in the ER now. he's on SO many drugs for his RA and now depression and sleep, it's insane. one drug helps this, but causes this, so they give another drug to help that, but it causes this, and so and so forth, you get the picture.

    Quote Originally Posted by thechaosfairy View Post
    Certain kinds of exercise are also good for arthritis: swimming, possibly yoga or tai chi.
    haha, that actually made me chuckle! only though, because if you knew my dad, that would be a site to see! picture seeing "chong" from cheech and chong doing yoga! hahaha my dad literally looks EXACTLY like chong.





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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    My mum is in a psych hospital right now with her bipolar so I really feel for you.

    It's so lucky that your dad sought out help though.

    Take care of him and yourself too babe.
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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    He really need you of the moment !! And you know it ... And you do it !!

    Good girl !! Hang in there !!!

    I love me dad too !!

  15. #15
    ajbaer
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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    Sending you warm thoughs...
    take care, and do your best to assure him of your love

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    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    shit, my family is falling apart

    i'm on the phone right now with my sister, she's in so much pain from her joints. they were supposed to test her last time she was in the hospital with swelling around her heart.

    i told her with dad's rheumatoid and my fybromylagia and raynauds that she NEEDS to be tested for lupus. she has massive joint pain right now, she can't bend anything. she's on her way to the er, she's in a lot of pain, she's crying to me.

    when she gets settled in to the ER i'm gonna ask to talk to her dr's to demand that she gets tested for lupus and what me and dad have

    FUCK!!!!!





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  17. #17
    ajbaer
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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    You're a great daughter and sister to be doing all this for them. Stay strong and hopefully things will fall into place for you.
    Sending some more sunshine your way

  18. #18
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    Oh honey (HUGS)

    I am so sorry you and your family is going through all this babe.

    Much love.

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    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    i haven't heard from my sis yet, hope she's ok.

    i just got back from seeing my dad also. he looks weird. but rested. we talked for about an hour before i had to leave. we are both in agreement that the effexor and ambien were what were causing his problems. they are weaning him off of the effexor, and he even said that he doesn't think he needs the morphine anymore either since he's not in pain! yeah!

    we think he'll be there till friday. he's talking with his pastor and a psych (who just so happens to HATE those two drugs! yeah!) and she's in agreement about getting him off of all antidepressents soon.

    he didn't start having these issues until his gp put him on all these brain drugs. so hopefully he'll dump his pill pushing doc (which he totally is a pill pusher) and just talk with brain docs.

    so it looks like it's on the up and up for now!

    now i'm just worried about my sis...i'll be calling her soon if i don't hear from her.





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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. I unfortunately don't have any good advice, but wanted to offer my support and well wishes. Hang in there.

    Animals are my friends, and I don't eat my friends.
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    Default Re: my dad is in the hospital

    I hope the news will continue to get better. My best wishes to you and your family in this.
    JK Jim

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