
Originally Posted by
sassysummer
thanks everyone.
i'm so irritated that it was never even mentioned or encouraged for him to go talk to a psych before this happened. i guess he's in the ER for now until a bed in the psych ward opens up. he says he's fine there, has a tv and whatnot. he finally talked with a psychiatrist today..i think i'm going to try to talk to her and give her some background on him as his his wife.
ugh! i hate this. he's only 55!
part of his depression too is that he has been in construction all of his life. lifting, moving carrying etc...and now he's pretty much at a desk job. so yea.
he's not afraid to cry at all. i've had many talks with him where he cried. he's always worried (his words "get's the feeling") that he did something to me as a child while he was drunk and i'm sad/mad with him. he did, he hurt me pretty bad a couple of times, i have forgiven him for it in my own way, but i also would NEVER tell him that he hit me hard. it would absolutely kill him to know that he hurt one of kids, he's like a big teddy bear and pretty sensitive with a tough guy exterior (you know, the biker teddy bear thing lol) and i'm ok with not telling him. no point in hurting him since i've forgiven. i just tell him i don't really remember my childhood, which i have blocked most of everything out up to about 8 yrs old, except a couple of really good and really bad memories.
fuck, this sucks.
i'm supposed to be happy right now. my life is going to good. i'm going on a cruise in 11 days, i'm signing a new lease TOMORROW for another studio, my business is doing great and now this.
i honestly would feel guilty if he ever went nuts and killed himself. i would feel like i wasn't a good enough daughter, even though he's always telling me how proud he is of me. i hope the love of his grandkids will keep him sane. he has said he doesn't want to miss out on taking my kids fishing and camping and stuff.
all this shit started with the RA. all the drugs they have him on to control it has fucked him up. i keep telling him to at least start going to acupuncture and such and change up his diet. but you know how hard it is to change someone that age, habits run deep.
this just sucks
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