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Thread: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

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    Veteran Member Delilah27's Avatar
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    Default Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    Guys want your opinion...There have been cases where someone and I have great chemistry, and a great time but yet they go back to their boring gfs afterwards. Why? Why "settle"? obviously not happy otherwise wouldn't have been tempted with me...(or have done more )

    The "seductress" female is exciting...pleasurable on the other hand I know men want traits of a good girl such as loyalty, security.

    I've refused to settle down and be domesticated...it's just not me but God I'm so tired of men playing it safe.

    someone explain this to me please...
    "I had to wonder if men were so blinded by beauty that they would feel privledged
    to live their lives with an actual demon, so as long it was a beautiful demon."
    -Memoirs Of A Geisha


    "Stripping is like a bad boyfriend, you know you should walk away, but always go back for more."

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    why dont u try dating guys who don't have girlfriends?
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
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    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    Maybe she meant they ditch her for their exes?

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    Veteran Member Delilah27's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    Yeah I did mean they pick their exes over me,
    "I had to wonder if men were so blinded by beauty that they would feel privledged
    to live their lives with an actual demon, so as long it was a beautiful demon."
    -Memoirs Of A Geisha


    "Stripping is like a bad boyfriend, you know you should walk away, but always go back for more."

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    Featured Member Perry's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    I'm the domesticate, wifey type. But it's far from being submissive.

    Just by packing lunch and cooking dinner I control what he eats and when he eats it. I do the landry so I decide what he wears by what's clean, and if I hate it, there's a bleaching accident. Sex is definantly my desision, where, when and for how long. I take care of the house, and, therefor, him.

    There's very little that he gets to dominate when you think about it. I don't think you should settle down if you don't want to, but IMO guys are attracted to the idea of being taken care of, or owned as I like to look at it. If they just see fun and pleasure, they're still in control, and there's nothing to loose by taking or leaving it.

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    Veteran Member winterrose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    ^^^^very true. I do all that too.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    Quote Originally Posted by Delilah27 View Post

    I've refused to settle down and be domesticated...it's just not me but God I'm so tired of men playing it safe.

    someone explain this to me please...
    If had a nickel for every time I've had this conversation with a dancer I would have....a lot of nickels!

    You've answered your own question Delilah. In spite of the thrill that some guys get out of dating a dancer what most men, especially younger more insecure guys want is someone that will be waiting for them when they get home, laugh at their jokes, cook for them and boink on their schedule...

    Most of the dancers I know have trouble finding guys not because they are dancers but because they are non-traditional and independent. I wish there was an easy answer for your either/or question but I don't think there really is.
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    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    Quote Originally Posted by Perry View Post
    I'm the domesticate, wifey type. But it's far from being submissive.

    Just by packing lunch and cooking dinner I control what he eats and when he eats it. I do the landry so I decide what he wears by what's clean, and if I hate it, there's a bleaching accident. Sex is definantly my desision, where, when and for how long. I take care of the house, and, therefor, him.

    There's very little that he gets to dominate when you think about it. I don't think you should settle down if you don't want to, but IMO guys are attracted to the idea of being taken care of, or owned as I like to look at it. If they just see fun and pleasure, they're still in control, and there's nothing to loose by taking or leaving it.
    So I'm reading this and I can say is...psycho?

    "Owning" your man b/c you take care of him?

    What ever happened to being a "team"...

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    Veteran Member Delilah27's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    yup NON-TRADITIONAL and INDEPENDANT is me in a nutshell...is that the problem? Why don't guys like that? We're very capable of "caring" for someone but does it necessarily mean by waiting at home like a good girl?
    "I had to wonder if men were so blinded by beauty that they would feel privledged
    to live their lives with an actual demon, so as long it was a beautiful demon."
    -Memoirs Of A Geisha


    "Stripping is like a bad boyfriend, you know you should walk away, but always go back for more."

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    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    Quote Originally Posted by Delilah27 View Post
    yup NON-TRADITIONAL and INDEPENDANT is me in a nutshell...is that the problem? Why don't guys like that? We're very capable of "caring" for someone but does it necessarily mean by waiting at home like a good girl?
    Well, some guys DO like it, me being one of them. Don't get me wrong, you should always be true to yourself. It's really about insecurity on the guy's part. You are not doing anything wrong. For what it's worth, the older guys get the less hung up they are on the sort of stuff we are talking about here.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    How do you know their exes are boring to the guys?

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    Veteran Member Taco Goblin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    It could be that some guys figure it's extremely fun to have an encounter with a seductress type woman.. but perhaps impossible to hold on to for the long term.. so they gravitate back to the humdrum chicks for actual relationships. Like, if you're a seductress by nature, you'll be one toward all the other guys too, so there'd be this constant percieved competition to keep you.. it all about the insecurity thing.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Featured Member Perry's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aubreyyy View Post
    So I'm reading this and I can say is...psycho?

    "Owning" your man b/c you take care of him?

    What ever happened to being a "team"...
    I meant that to sound more affectionate than it came across.

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    Quote Originally Posted by Perry View Post
    I'm the domesticate, wifey type. But it's far from being submissive.

    Just by packing lunch and cooking dinner I control what he eats and when he eats it. I do the landry so I decide what he wears by what's clean, and if I hate it, there's a bleaching accident. Sex is definantly my desision, where, when and for how long. I take care of the house, and, therefor, him.

    There's very little that he gets to dominate when you think about it. I don't think you should settle down if you don't want to, but IMO guys are attracted to the idea of being taken care of, or owned as I like to look at it. If they just see fun and pleasure, they're still in control, and there's nothing to loose by taking or leaving it.
    try switching the gender/roles and reading that again.

    it sounds controlling, manipulative and unhealthy.

    i get how you -though- it would sound, but maybe you should do some searching there.

    just sayin'

    ... if a guy had posted how he controls the money and thusly his wife or that he destroys her clothes if he doesnt like them, or that he says when and where they have sex, people would be ALL on his shit. oh and if he said "owned" hoooooooooooooooooo-lordy.

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    Veteran Member Delilah27's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    Quote Originally Posted by Taco Goblin View Post
    It could be that some guys figure it's extremely fun to have an encounter with a seductress type woman.. but perhaps impossible to hold on to for the long term.. so they gravitate back to the humdrum chicks for actual relationships. Like, if you're a seductress by nature, you'll be one toward all the other guys too, so there'd be this constant percieved competition to keep you.. it all about the insecurity thing.
    thanks this helps alot...
    "I had to wonder if men were so blinded by beauty that they would feel privledged
    to live their lives with an actual demon, so as long it was a beautiful demon."
    -Memoirs Of A Geisha


    "Stripping is like a bad boyfriend, you know you should walk away, but always go back for more."

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    Veteran Member Delilah27's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zinaida View Post
    How do you know their exes are boring to the guys?
    I said the "boring" comment based on the explanations from my history as well as other men's experiences that i've spoken too. Perhaps I shouldn't have made a generalization I was merely just using to paint a description.
    "I had to wonder if men were so blinded by beauty that they would feel privledged
    to live their lives with an actual demon, so as long it was a beautiful demon."
    -Memoirs Of A Geisha


    "Stripping is like a bad boyfriend, you know you should walk away, but always go back for more."

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    Some guys are into the thrill of the seduction, but once done, grow bored pretty fast with their conquest. For them the thrill is in the seduction, but once they are past that point, start looking for someone new to seduce losing interest fast in their previous conquest. Perhaps they see as you that type, and don't want to be the discarded conquered?

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    Featured Member Perry's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    try switching the gender/roles and reading that again.

    it sounds controlling, manipulative and unhealthy.

    i get how you -though- it would sound, but maybe you should do some searching there.

    just sayin'

    ... if a guy had posted how he controls the money and thusly his wife or that he destroys her clothes if he doesnt like them, or that he says when and where they have sex, people would be ALL on his shit. oh and if he said "owned" hoooooooooooooooooo-lordy.
    I clarified that it may have sounded harsh. It's still a more positive describtion than being described as submissive or boring.

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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    It sounds like you want a long-term relationship and still be independent. Is that the case? If so, you'll have to look for a while to find the right partner.

    I think it's because relationships are not built on chemistry, but lust is. There's nothing better than chemistry to get a relationship started, but it doesn't keep the relationship going.

    A relationship is about two people becoming one. You begin to think of the other as an extension of yourself. This isn't about control or being domesticated--it's about intertwining yourself with another person.

    Sex is definitely an important part of a successful relationship. But it's more like the dressing on a salad. A good dressing can make a great salad, but you can't just live on dressing alone.

    Unfortunately, I think a lot of people think of their partner as their pet dog. Someone they want to be around when they feeling like playing and someone to provide comfort, but not get in their way.

    That's what I think in general, but everyone is different. There is someone for everyone. What are you looking for in a relationship? If you think about being with someone for 5, 10, 60 years, what does that look like to you? What would your typical day be like after you've been together for 10 years?

  20. #20
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    madonna whore dichotomy.

    that's all i have to say
    Last edited by TheSexKitten; 04-16-2008 at 04:01 PM. Reason: spelling... lulz

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    Veteran Member Delilah27's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    Quote Originally Posted by NickT View Post
    It sounds like you want a long-term relationship and still be independent. Is that the case? If so, you'll have to look for a while to find the right partner.

    I think it's because relationships are not built on chemistry, but lust is. There's nothing better than chemistry to get a relationship started, but it doesn't keep the relationship going.

    A relationship is about two people becoming one. You begin to think of the other as an extension of yourself. This isn't about control or being domesticated--it's about intertwining yourself with another person.

    Sex is definitely an important part of a successful relationship. But it's more like the dressing on a salad. A good dressing can make a great salad, but you can't just live on dressing alone.

    That's what I think in general, but everyone is different. There is someone for everyone. What are you looking for in a relationship? If you think about being with someone for 5, 10, 60 years, what does that look like to you? What would your typical day be like after you've been together for 10 years?
    So many of your words ring true...in answer to your question I simply want someone to keep up with me...a partner to stand beside me. Not someone struggling for dominance in the relationship, and not a submissive person that burdens me.

    To be honest...I wouldn't mind the domesticated life just as long as that's not all there is in the relationship...I still want us to have that intense energy,passion...I want the salad and the dressing.

    I suppose it's just difficult because the "seductress" side naturally comes out first for me, and sometimes that's all men see, not realizing I can be both, just with the person I believe is worth it.
    "I had to wonder if men were so blinded by beauty that they would feel privledged
    to live their lives with an actual demon, so as long it was a beautiful demon."
    -Memoirs Of A Geisha


    "Stripping is like a bad boyfriend, you know you should walk away, but always go back for more."

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    God/dess leilanicandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    It is abour security. Guys like to have thier cake and eat it too! Yet it boil down to wear thier sercurity lies. Sometime women who are seductress threaten a guys sercurity.

    Some guys are not sercure enought to be with a Seductress.
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  23. #23
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSexKitten View Post
    maddona whore dichotomy.

    that's all i have to say
    I was going to say the same thing. There's that old saying that every man wants a chef in his kitchen, a whore in his bedroom, and a lady on his arm... and a certain species of male prefers that these actually be two or three different women. If I was too sexually aggressive, my ex-husband was turned off by it. And there was that movie when Robert DeNiro explained why he went to whores for blowjobs instead of asking his wife for them - "She kisses my kids goodnight with that mouth!" So yeah, plenty of guys like their sex objects to remain sex objects only, and have their relationships with less overtly sexual women.

    There are open-minded awesome guys out there who can appreciate a sexually liberated, independent woman (I finally found one), but you have to really hunt. Being the chef and lady as well doesn't hurt either!

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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    OP, I have truly never witnessed guys preferring boring to seductive (all other things being equal). Perhaps there is more going on in your particular situation than this simple dichotomy.

    I think the far better question is why we don't have a reverse problem -- why don't exciting/seductive women (strippers even!) prefer boring guys to volatile ones?


  25. #25
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: Seductress or Submissive Wifey?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    I was going to say the same thing. There's that old saying that every man wants a chef in his kitchen, a whore in his bedroom, and a lady on his arm... and a certain species of male prefers that these actually be two or three different women. If I was too sexually aggressive, my ex-husband was turned off by it. And there was that movie when Robert DeNiro explained why he went to whores for blowjobs instead of asking his wife for them - "She kisses my kids goodnight with that mouth!" So yeah, plenty of guys like their sex objects to remain sex objects only, and have their relationships with less overtly sexual women.

    There are open-minded awesome guys out there who can appreciate a sexually liberated, independent woman (I finally found one), but you have to really hunt. Being the chef and lady as well doesn't hurt either!
    This is oh too true. And unfortunately, as a stripper, you will be unwittingly cast into the 'whore' role much more often than you might think. While I was on my break I encountered it far too frequently and it made melose faith in males just a little bit.

    My man is as sweet as can be though; he appreciates all the sexuality I have to offer.

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