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Thread: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

  1. #1
    Featured Member needtodance's Avatar
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    Angry I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    So y'all remember my psycho family?

    I'd been all happy lately, works been going shitty, but mom had been decent... she was asking questions about it and responding with an open mind... yay.... relief....

    so yesterday she starts in on all sorts of legality, though she ADMITS that she knows nothing but stereotypes, while i've done a lot of research(and have SW) "your gonna get busted for prostitution"(Which is unheard of for my area, which i tried to explain) and i tried to explain, before i said No i'm NOT arguing this with you, this isnt your business because she wouldnt listen and was getting too nasty about it.

    So she calls me at 1 AM today. I pick it up, thinking its an emergency, like grandparent having a medical problem or something... but NO! iTs just her callign to once AGAIN threaten to tell my dad, reiterate the poorness of my choices, blah blah blah in horrible judgemental fashion. INcluding nasty jabs at how my therapist and i agree that her action on filing the missing persons report was overreacting and controlling. "everyone I talked to about that LAUGHED that you actually think thats DISFUNCTION!" and generally spewing nastyness at me.

    SHe keeps deliberately provoking me, as i'm saying BACK the FUCK OFF mom, until i finally hung up.

    She then logs on to my SISTERS IM to message me FURTHER on it, and when i block THAT, she calls again! I didn't pick up though, but i've SERIOUSLY been crying on and off all night trying to figure out what to do.

    We went through this, if she tells my dad, i'm disowned, and hte progress we've made lately on having a decent relationship is all down the toilet. and as much as i know i'dbe healthier WITHOUT her in my life, i'd feel terrible for being the brat that not even her parents could love.

    OMFG i want to tear my hair out.
    Last edited by needtodance; 04-17-2008 at 08:10 AM. Reason: internet problems posting.
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    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    Tell her if she tells your dad you will disown her. no loving mother would intentionally try to split up a family. Or deny deny deny. tell her you quit. I hate lying but maybe for some people, they just need to be.




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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    *hugs* Deep breaths.

    We both know your mom is nuts. Beyond nuts. She is harassing you. Beyond that, I'm no help.

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    Featured Member needtodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    Elusive-a few months back, my grandmother and aunt goaded her into filing a missing person report on me because i was having phone problems(which i told her about in advance) and got REALLY busy and couldnt come online. I'd warned her i was having issues with the phone and was going to be busy, so i thought it was OK that i didn't return calls for a few weeks, but apparently not.

    She had the police in my apartment, she herself combed through my myspace blog, gave me an earful about my modeling, and financially disowned me for being willing to POSSIBLY do bondage or erotic art. She then threatened to tell my dad unless i "showed proof i was getting out of hte business" and harassed me for a TON more information to prove i was legit "to prevent this from happening again! I was so scared for you!". Asked for managers name, phone number, work business name, adress, two in town friends name and adresses, etc. HUGE privacy violation. So THAT w as why i had to come out to her as a dancer, because she was goign to go find it anyways.

    Thats the backstory, there was a thread, but a bit back i was having some trouble and the mods kindly deleted it for me.
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    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    IF my mom were like that i would stop talking to her....




  6. #6
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    I think you need to tell your dad first. All your mother's power over you comes from this secret, and if you're going to stand tall and demand respect, there can be no sneaking around. Don't give her the power to do it, just do it yourself, without her around. Call him at work or whatever. Just explain that you knew he wouldn't like it so you were trying to spare him, but your mother is using it as a weapon so you decided it would be better for everyone to be on the same page. Tell him you know he'll respect you in this, and apologize for keeping secrets. After that, if they cut you off, then they cut you off, but at least you're true to yourself.

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    Senior Member Joy to the world's Avatar
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    I'm sorry. I can't say I have the same situation but I can say that my mother is crazy as well and this situation is similar to things she would try till I finally had enough and told her she was no longer welcome in my life. I have spoken to her in going on three years now, although she still tries to contact me (and yes I have my break downs every now and then) but me taking a stand made my dad realize that he did not want to lose me (which was my worry about not taking to my mother because I love my dad) and he left. We are closer than ever now and he knows about my job is okay with it because he does not want to lose me.
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    Glamazon
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    I think you need to tell your dad first. All your mother's power over you comes from this secret, and if you're going to stand tall and demand respect, there can be no sneaking around. Don't give her the power to do it, just do it yourself, without her around. Call him at work or whatever. Just explain that you knew he wouldn't like it so you were trying to spare him, but your mother is using it as a weapon so you decided it would be better for everyone to be on the same page. Tell him you know he'll respect you in this, and apologize for keeping secrets. After that, if they cut you off, then they cut you off, but at least you're true to yourself.
    My thoughts exactly!!

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    Veteran Member Mesmorized113's Avatar
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    First I want to say I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I myself have a crazy family, so I sorta feel where you are coming from. Now how sure are you that your dad will disown you? Are you POSITIVE he won't have anything to do with you? I mean, sometimes people say things like that, but in all actuality, they will get over it. Hell, I bet your mom will eventually, and I do emphasize eventually, get over it. Maybe you should tell her (someone mentioned this) that if she doesn't back off of you for living your life and making your own decisions, that you are no longer going to speak with her because it is unhealthy for you. Tell her how much she is hurting you by doing what she does. If she doesn't care, she will let you go. If she does, she will *hopefully* move on from it. (she may occasionally slip up, but maye she wil get better about it). But Yekh is right, you really need to be the one to tell your dad. You DON'T want your mom doing it, because as Yekh said, that is her having way too much control. Not to mention, it may really hurt your dad to know that you were lying, or keeping secrets anyway, from him. THAT may piss him off to the point he doesn't want to talk to you. But hopefully your dad is sane enough that he wil respect you for telling him and maybe not be totally OK with it, but at least tolerate it. Hell, even if he just ignores it would be good.

    I don't feel you should lie to him. Then again, I just think it is bad , bad , bad, to lie. You start lying about it now and you are gonna have to get realy good and creative and stay that way forever cause one lie turns into thousands......
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  10. #10
    Vivacious
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    I think you need to tell your dad first. All your mother's power over you comes from this secret, and if you're going to stand tall and demand respect, there can be no sneaking around.
    Wow. Yek's right. Don't even tell her you did it. Just let her be stunned when he already knows.

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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    She is psychologically imploding because she is realizing that she has no control over your life. She probably feels like a failure as a parent because you are not conforming to her ideas of what a "good" person is.

    I'd be willing to bet that your mom hates you too, right now, because despite her best efforts, you still do what you wish, not what she wants you to do. She is probably in just as much agony over what she sees as her "failure" to teach you the "right path" for your life. I'm not saying her manipulating is right, just that she is feeling bat-shit crazy over this whole thing.

    I agree with Yek that you need to tell your dad. If you don't feel brave enough to do it face to face, do it through email or in a hand written letter. Are you dependent on your parents for any physical support? If not, it is time to walk away and be your own person. No more good can come of this relationship as parent/child because you are now an adult and likely have a better grasp on how the world works than your parents do. No parent on the face of the earth likes to admit that their children know more about the world than they do, and facing that fact is a tough transition for parents.

    We can't be under our parents care forever. It is time to move on. The sooner you do this, the happier and more peaceful you'll feel.


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    Senior Member anneholl's Avatar
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    Hi sweety. I am so sorry to hear that this is still going on. I agree with the sound advice everyone is offering here... tell your dad yourself. By not doing so, you are only feeding into your mother's sick power trip. Anytime she is feeling powerless in her own life, she knows that she can harness this over you and it gives her a surge of energy. What an emotional bully. I find it so ironic, she claims to be so concerned with your mental well being, yet the majority of stress in your life has revolved around HER goading you and NOt exotic dancing. What's weird to me is that she CHOOSES to have this screwy interrperation of the industry despite your lenghty explanations.

    Unfortunetely, this is her chosen method of "handling" the situation. The shock of her discovery should have worn off by now. At this point it has come down to pure immature cruelty. I am so sorry.

    I think that she is taking your individual ADULT choices wayyyyyy too personally. She may be concerned with how it reflects on HER. "No daughter of MINE be a stripper" kind of mentality.

    Definately don't tell your mom if you have the talk with your dad like the above post encouraged. I think that's a great fuckin ideas. Ha ha. Go over her head.

    call me if you wanna talk.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    I don't know your mom and you do. I agree that her behavior sounds like it might be obsessive, controlling, and hysterical. Then again, it also sounds like she might be really, really worried about you.

    I'm not sure how old you are, so I don't know how long your mom has had to adjust to the idea that you're not her baby and she can't control your life anymore. I know it took my mom A WHILE to come to terms with this. Once in a while, when she can't get me on the phone for a week or so, she'll leave these really plaintive messages about whether or not I still love her, which is just silly. She did once tell me she'd considered calling the police in my town to find out where I was. Geez, mom. It's getting better as she and I both get older and get used to me being an adult, having my own life, and making my own decisions. But it's definitely a process. And I can't imagine what she would think if she knew I danced. I can see her being completely cool about it, or I can see her calling me up at 3am and begging me to stop.

    While she seems ridiculous to me at times, I can imagine having a daughter who moves away and being worried out of my mind about whether she was safe. Worrying like this is a mom's job. If I couldn't get hold of her for a while and accidentally found out she was in the sex industry, I might be shocked. And most people don't have the background to see nude modeling, dancing, etc, as a normal job choice. Maybe she thinks you're doing all these photo shoots in basements of abandoned apartment-buildings in the wrong part of town, surrounded by lines of cocaine and barking dogs. Or something. You know how people get about this stuff.

    Anyway, you know best if your mom is really unhealthy personality or if she's just having a temporarily flip-out. But it sounds to me like calling the police and maybe even threatening to talk to your dad are her last-ditch desperate efforts to make you do what she thinks is the safest and best thing for you. Is it possible that all of this craziness is coming out of concern for you? Have you sat down for a really calm, collected conversation with her about the pros and cons of what you're doing? Does she know about all the research you've done, how much you've educated yourself about the industry, and the supports that you have in place, both on SW and in your life? Maybe if she knew you were going about this in a smart way and had already weighed this decision carefully, she'd calm down.

    Moms never really forget all the times they had to jerk our fingers our of electric sockets. In their minds, we are always on the verge of eating crayons and need to have our hands slapped so we'll remember next time.

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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    The sooner you disown those people the sooner you'll be not dealing with their insanity.



  15. #15
    Callyish
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    Are you sure your dad will disown you?

    I thought for sure my father would hate me and disown me and kill me if he found out about me dancing. I mean this is the same man who freaked the fuck out when I decided not to go to college.

    Turns out he ended up being totally supportive and understanding and told me as long as im safe and check in a few times a week so they know im okay its all good.

    I would just come out and tell him and be open and honest. It will free you of your moms insanity and hopefully your dad will respect you for coming clean.

    *hugs* I know its hard darlin.... my family is crazy too

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    Featured Member iambonbon05's Avatar
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    Sounds like my mom. Financially disowned for saying I WANTED to move in with my boyfriend. Not moved in already. Can't imagine what it would be like if they knew I stripped.

    Ideally, I agree with Yek that the best course of action would be to tell him but I know I don't have the balls to do that. But it would be best.
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    Senior Member Angela18's Avatar
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    If it was me going through all that I might have just told my Dad that I was stripping. Sadly that is not the case for me, however your Mom probably will tell him some day and she will make it sound so much worse. Best to tell him the honest truth before she does. But then I don't have Dad to deal with situations like this just my Mom and she still does not know. I just hope she never reacts the way yours does. Hope the best for you.

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    Featured Member needtodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    She just sent me a looongasss apology email saying shes SO sorry for hurting me and she'll do as i say in terms of backing off, but i am welcome to come home any time. Like i believe that. Thats nearly word for word what she said back in january when i called her on her judgementalness.

    I KNOW she feels like she failed me. She's felt like that since i was fifteen, when she found out I had somewhat of a double life. Here she thought she had a healthy little girl, and then shes finding out at the therapists office with the police on their heels that her little girl was in a seriously self destructive spiral after a SERIOUS trauma--and that her handling of the "Edge of hte iceberg" she knew had compounded the problem worse.

    She handled that much the same way as shes handled this. "who can i tell first?" and after promising to keep the secret, "its not fair to make me keep this secret anyways" and telling anyways. My aunt STILL pisses me off with her exagerated "tiptoe" treatment that started after my mom told her.


    And she always had a nasty habit of randomly raiding my diary, email, etc. to fix wrongdoing in her head for future fights. Thats why my dad and i were estranged.

    She found a letter i was in the process of writing to a friend, maybe six months after that whole revelation, blew several points out of proportion, showed my dad, and HE promptly went crazy on me, said a number of thigs NO girl should here from her father(mostly about my sexuality), provoked me into a full on psychotic episode. I freaked out, gave him a black eye and cracked his rib.

    He's STILL never apologized for what he said, and i've never apologized for my reaction. But for a year, we literally could not be in the same room, if we were, i would refuse to talk to ANYONE until he was gone. Even after that, the next thre years nothing was said between us beyond "do you have my FAFSA done? I need you to take me to school tomorrow. Dinners done". It wasn't until i moved out, and he really realized how fucked up it was, and started making efforts to reach out that we even STARTED trying to relate again. Given the subject matter of our previous fight, YES this would not end well.

    I do want to tell him, when mom threatened to tell my sister, i did first, and she was surprisingly fine... but i know that it wouldnt end well.

    I'm not really dependant on the parents, except for a few things. They occassionally make a payment on my student loan, since they didnt have the money to help when i GOT the loans, but are a little b etter now. And my health insurance is on THEIR account since I can't get approved on my own because of my health problems. So if i am disowned, i lose my insurance, and can kiss my therapy byebye. Also, my mom still pays for my cell phone. Which wouldnt be a big deal for me to pay, but she did it this way because otherwise we'd both get overcharged for when i DID want to talk to the relatives. So thats not such a big obligation or deal, but the insurance is a huge thing since i CANT get that on my own.

    Literally that is the only thing thats prevented me fromcutting the lot of them completely out of my life. THat, and my sister.
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  19. #19
    ajbaer
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    You and I have a very similar relationship with our mothers it seems.
    She's gotten better, but everytime I make a choice without her "approval" it's nag nag nag..did you tell your father, do you know the repercussions, is this OK with so and so.
    Back the fuck off.
    The last time I emailed her, it basically said: I'm living my life this way, I'm making choices. You've lied and shown me nothing but how to function in a distrustful relationship. I do not care to talk to you any further. Don't call, I won't answer, if you write...well depending on what you say then I may write back. I do not want to hear your voice.
    She apologized (as usual) and I talk to her when I need to, or about piddly shit. I keep it at that. Aside from that...if she ever threatened anything with other relationships in my life I'd be sooo OK with being disowned, or disowning her. My parents have helped me ZERO and basically have only ever held me back. If they didn't want to talk to me, I'd be OK. Granted I love my dad, he's not really done all that much for me, but never been flat out mean either.
    I feel for you girl, and I hope it gets better. You may find that severing ties is the best choice you could make.
    As for kissing therapy bye, there are very good county run programs. I saw a therapist and a physciatrist for well under $20/week. They were FANTASTIC! Also, if you're in school you should have access to their medical insurance. I would dig a little further before thinking you're completely down and out.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    If you have no parental support, and no documented income, OHP will cover your health insurance. It will take awhile for your current health insurance to cancel anyway (usually 30 days) and you can get the approval process moving with OHP in the meantime.

    For more advice on getting health coverage, try John Kitzhaber's organization called the Archimedes movement. Their website is www.wecandobetter.org

    I'm involved with that organization. I know the website is big and clunky, but if you are having trouble getting on OHP, there are people there that can help.


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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    Quote Originally Posted by ajbaer View Post
    I feel for you girl, and I hope it gets better. You may find that severing ties is the best choice you could make.
    As for kissing therapy bye, there are very good county run programs. I saw a therapist and a physciatrist for well under $20/week. They were FANTASTIC! Also, if you're in school you should have access to their medical insurance. I would dig a little further before thinking you're completely down and out.
    That's good advice! You probably wouldn't need therapy if it weren't for them. You might find that just six months away from them will leave you feeling a million times better! You truly may not need more than a session here or there and that can be quite cheap. You can also get low-cost insurance through your school. AND once you've been away from your parents for a year you're eligible for a looot more student aid!
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    Featured Member Victoryx0x0's Avatar
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    uhmm pretty much just tell her you quit. thats all there is to it

  23. #23
    Featured Member Victoryx0x0's Avatar
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    p.s. no reason to say you hate her, she loves you, thats all. also maybe she feels like a failure? she is not open minded about it, and matter of fact, i would NEVER allow my future daughter to dance, and pretty much would do everything your mom is doing, except i would stalk my daughter and follow her to work, and then embarass her and drag her out of the club.

  24. #24
    Featured Member needtodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    I'm not actively in school at the moment. I had been in culinary school shortly before i started dancing, but i was having serious health issues that made it too difficult. I was literally leaving class to lie down in the bathroom so i wouldnt pass out.

    Haven't decided where i want to go or what i want to pursue so i'd been hoping on saving money dancing so that when i decide, i wont have to take out a huge loan again.
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    Default Re: I. Fucking. Hate.My. Mom.

    Quote Originally Posted by Victoryx0x0 View Post
    p.s. no reason to say you hate her, she loves you, thats all. also maybe she feels like a failure? she is not open minded about it, and matter of fact, i would NEVER allow my future daughter to dance, and pretty much would do everything your mom is doing, except i would stalk my daughter and follow her to work, and then embarass her and drag her out of the club.
    That's not helping issues. She wants advice on how to handle her current situation, and you take her mom's side. Nice.

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