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Thread: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

  1. #1
    Peanut_Butter
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    Default 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    I have always said that extra girls don't really effect me, that they take th shitty customers away and leave the good ones for me so I don't mind. I never thought extra's girls affect my income. I have also said I never witnessed any extra's happen, really. Maybe I never paid attention.

    Tonight at work I had 4 VIP's and all 4 of them tried continuously to touch my breasts and vagina and asked me to go hoem with them for free. One guy that kept grabbing my crotch and saying "oops! my hand slipped!" I said dude, if you were on a fuckign date and touched her, she would press charges on you. It's fucking assult. What makes you think it's ok to do it to me? I told you to stop. He said well, the girl last ngiht let me. Why won't you?
    The problem was, I hadn't gotten paid yet. That's a whole other issue though. He was paying with his credit card and they hadn;'t come yet to get it. So if I left, I wouldnt have gotten paid and I deserved my money for putting up with him. I didnt want to walk out. I was pissed though, cause I ended up spending double the time back there waiting on my money. Then he refused to tip me, even though he got double time and upset me by trying to touch me so much.

    Then I had 3 other VIP rooms and all the same shit happened. They kept touching me. One guy asked what the boundaries were and I said you can only not touch 2 places. I hought that was understood to be my breasts and crotch. Well, we start dancing and he immediatly goes for my nipples. I said dude, that's one of he places you cant touch. He said oh, I thought you meant I couldnt touch your holes. He thought thats what I meant by 2 places off limits. I didnt realize that I needed to specify that my asshole was offlimits. I thoguth that was a given. Then he refused to extend VIP unless I called him when I got off to go to his hotel.
    They were a bachelor party, and the bachelor had a girl they were laying down on a couch, she was laying on to pof him ith her back against him, legs spread open, thong pulled to the side and th bachelor was fingering her. out in the open.

    It happened to me over and ovr, guys trying to touch me and ask me home. I finally just walked out early crying. I have been dancing for 5 years and never had to let people touch me to make money. I have never dealt with this kind of crap before. Of course, I hve guys sometimes try, but I can always handle it, and it never happened that often, now suddenly it's every single guy. Do I have a whore magnet on my ass? Why are girls acting this way and making it so hard for clean dancers? Dont they know it's not nesessary to act that way to make money? And why do guys suddenly think all strippers are whores that will put out for a $20?

    I dont wanna go back. I can deal with it to an extend, btu I cannot have every single guy try to touch me all night every night. i cant handle that. it's to much. I feel so violated. I never had someone actually touch my vagina before. Why do they think it's ok to touch a girl without asking? Just cause im a stripper? Wheres respect?

    Is this the norm now? How do I deal with it to kkeep dancing and make money and be happy and sane? Just walk out of he VIP's and lose money? My boyfriend says the good guys are still out there, i just have to work harder to find them. But if that means putting up with 10 guys before that that try to violate me..it aint worth it. No money is worth it to me.

    Am I a prude for not allowing any touching in VIP? I give good contact dances, but I do not allow any booby touching. Im not comfortable with that. they are allowed to touch my butt cheeks, and I do grind lightly, and my dances are damn good. ive always gone off sensual over sexual and it works well in the past. But now all they want is a grind and grab. No sensuality at all.

    help. Im so upset over this.

  2. #2
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    That really sucks.

    It's not your fault.

    It sounds like the vermin have won the battle, but there are other clubs. If it keeps up, I'd suggest leaving... remember, one of the great perks of this job is the flexibility. You don't have to stay in a place when it goes downhill...
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    i think people like going to parties and clubs and looking like douchebags.

  3. #3
    Peanut_Butter
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    It's one of the best clubs in the city. It's very busy, with wealthy clientele. There are a few other top clus, but I don't like them. I just recently returned to that club because the other i worked at went way way down hill, and the clientele was poor and worthless. At least here rich guys I can make money....but I think this is happeneing all over the city. It wont be better anywhere else.

    Maybe I just need to grow thicker skin?
    Last edited by Peanut_Butter; 05-02-2008 at 07:25 AM.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    That's fucked. There is no way you should put up with shit like that. I don't really know what to say. My club is very strict on no touching and coz we get paid upfront I give them one warning and if they fuck up then i walk away and keep their money.
    I wish every club would do upfront payment, that's the way it should be.
    I agree having to specify that your asshole is off limits is just fucking ridiculous.

    Maybe try a diff club?
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    Featured Member iseestars's Avatar
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    I know how you feel. All the extras are getting so bad down here, I'm getting ready to only dance twice a week. I would quit entirely but I just really love it. If you are working at the best club in the city, I would just stay. Some nights it seems like I only attract assholes and maybe this is what you did that night.

    I think that, yes, maybe you should grow a thicker skin and not be so sensitive. Don't let the guys overstep your boundaries but just don't take it so personal. It was really hard for me when I moved from Baltimore to South Florida but if I stayed with the same attitude, I couldn't be dancing right because I wouldn't have been able to take it.

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    God/dess TheTempest's Avatar
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    I don't think you need a thicker skin, they just need to stop being assholes. You don't deserve to be molested at work, and it doesn't matter if you're a "sex worker" you can still be assaulted.

    You can try to continue working at your club and insist on getting all money up front or at least holding on to something DAMNED expensive. And the girls who are doing extras, what is management doing? If they're doing nothing then it might be time to leave because if you don't have someone watching out for you guys its no longer a safe club.

    You shoulda kicked the guy in the nuts after you got his credit card. I'm sorry he was such an asshole.

  7. #7
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    I always try to go to the credit card booth before I enter the room. That way, if I walk in there and they're handsy, I can walk out and I have my cash.

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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    I think that this may just be the case of one bad night... you mentioned that normally the grabby fucktards aren't out to the extent that they were last night, and that you do have a certain tolerance for what sometimes comes with being a dancer, but if it doesn't happen every single shift to the point where it's unbearable, just chalk it up to being a bad night. I figure if you have been dancing 5 years and were previously unaware that there were so many extras going on around you, things didn't just change overnight. Go back to work a few more shifts and see if things get back to normal. If not, then it may in fact be time to find a new club. I think you will be okay though.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    Unfortunately having extras girls in the club will eventually come back against the girls that don't break the rules. Guys will troll the internet and find the clubs that look the other way on extras and will purposely seek out those places.

    Then the nice customers that don't want any extras will stop coming in eventually, because the idea of extras creep them out. I'm afraid that if may be time to find a new club.

    I'm sorry that happened to you, girl. When I was working at a club like that, I just refused to sell VIP and did only floor dances. Sure, it didn't pay as well, but I went home with my sanity.


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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    Dude, what the crap? Where were the bouncers? Anytime I've had grabbers, they've been bounced immediately. I don't put up with it for a second, and neither should you! The club should care a lot about this kind of thing. If they're raided, it's over for everyone there!

    I am so sorry. You should never have to deal with that kind of thing. Don't loosen your boundaries for an extra fifty bucks a night or whatever. Those guys are jerks. Those women should be fired. End of story.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    it sounds like you are talking about sapphire...

    well, I empathize with you because I worked tonight and it definitely was a challenge. Actually, any night is. The worst part is waiting in the line to get in the VIP too. So you've already committed like 10 minutes before you can make the sale, and then it can potentially be ruined if you put up the boundaries. And the wait for funny money IS agonizing!

    The problem with Sapphire (for you, at least) is that boob grabbing is acceptable there. It's not considered an "extra." If it's really that important to only do VIPs with gentlemen who don't touch, you will have to lay it all out, in detail, to the guys who ask what happens back there. But you can usually get a vibe from handsy guys when they are on the floor. They say and do pervy things. You won't be doing as many VIPs, but you'll have some sanity.

    to the girls suggesting leaving....I'd love to hear about this magical club where you don't have to deal with extra girls!

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    Featured Member BrodieLux's Avatar
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    That sucks.

    Well, I think you will be miserable if you force yourself to ignore your boundaries.

    If you want to stay at this club, then I would say, get the money up front if possible, and lie to the customers who insist you call later and say "OK baby I'll call you" to get the sale. I mean it's a freaking phone call. Who cares.

    As far as boob grabbing, is there a comfort zone for you there? For example, maybe they can touch boob but not nipple?

    It seems from reading SW that big money is possible almost anywhere if you're good. It might be worth trying out a few other places and seeing if there's a better fit for you somewhere else.
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    Featured Member dangerousdiva's Avatar
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    Get the money while you're waiting. If they're paying by CC take them to the cage before you even get in line. This helps them behave better and makes the wait more tolerable.

    I've noticed if there are long lines for VIP the mileage is higher back there because girls are doing everything to get them to extend.

    Boobie grabbing is pretty much the norm in the back, that doesn't bother me. It's the boobie grabbing I see on the floor that pisses me off. How are we supposed to upsell to VIP when that's going on left and right? Grrr...

    Some nights are like this, then you back the next night and all the guys are gentleman. That's the beauty of LV each night has totally different customers.

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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    Quote Originally Posted by Peanut_Butter View Post
    Am I a prude for not allowing any touching in VIP? I give good contact dances, but I do not allow any booby touching. Im not comfortable with that. they are allowed to touch my butt cheeks, and I do grind lightly, and my dances are damn good. ive always gone off sensual over sexual and it works well in the past. But now all they want is a grind and grab. No sensuality at all.
    NO. You aren't a prude and I think the dimissive attitude of 'Oh, I don't mind it, I don't know why you mind it.' leads to more and more contact being acceptable. Keep your boundaries, PB! Can you just have a drink/talk with the guys while they run the card? That drives me insane, when they take forever to run the cc. Not sure WHAT can be done about that.

    You need to be more specific on where they can touch, and grab their hands if they try. I had some guy try to touch the bits, I grabbed his hand and pinned him to the couch and reprimanded him. He was all sheepish, claimed to be drunk, apologized, and got 3 more dances. Without moving a limb. Don't give them an inch, because you won't be comfortable. They're YOUR parts and you are in charge of them.

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    Featured Member CuriousSeeker's Avatar
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah Andi View Post
    Dude, what the crap? Where were the bouncers? Anytime I've had grabbers, they've been bounced immediately.
    This is my question as well. And what about the VIP hostess? It sounds like everyone looks the other way at your club?
    "Don't piss off a motivated stripper."


  16. #16
    ghostinpa
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    Am I a prude for not allowing any touching in VIP?
    NO! You actually some respect for yourself unlike some other ladies in our profession. Maybe there are so many dancers in your clubs going the "extra-mile" that guys just expect this from everyone? I'm guessing that no one really enforces the rules where you work?! Personally I think customers are always pushing my boundaries. Like when I tell them "You can't touch my boobs or pussy" they ask "Can I lick your nipples?"
    If a majority of dancers at your club are giving extra attention to custies I think it's time to switch clubs. It's only going to get worse.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post

    to the girls suggesting leaving....I'd love to hear about this magical club where you don't have to deal with extra girls!
    There are lots of them in Portland. There are extras clubs, too. You just have to know where to look.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  18. #18
    Veteran Member Morgan_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    I'm going to offer a few suggestions that may not be very popular...

    When I get a grabber, I have a few moves that I'll tend to do for the rest of the dance. They're "shielding" moves, meaning that if you do them right, the guy doesn't have ACCESS to your kitty or boobs. My area IS very high-mileage, and paying up-front is NOT the norm. Plus, our bouncers/managers are not allowed to help us collect money we're owed. Sometimes you have to keep dancing out the rest of the song if you want to get paid. Here's a few tricks I use sometimes...

    The first move is a grinding move. You put both of your legs in between his legs and grind with your butt on his crotch. Meanwhile, lean your body all the way forward so that your boobs are resting on your legs. The problem is that you have to get into that position quickly and keep your butt on his crotch; otherwise he'll try to stick his hands under your butt and get your kitty.

    The second move is to put your breasts in his crotch. Think "titty-fucking". Make sure your boobs are INSIDE of his thighs, though. Sometimes they'll still fuss and try to grab boobies, so this doesn't always work, but a lot of times it's effective.

    Finally, there's always the "foot dance". I'll put my feet in their crotch and my knees on the floor in front of the couch. Then I'll move my butt and all that stuff, but I'm WAY out of their reach. If they start to move for me, I can tell, because my feet are in their crotch. If they start to move closer to me, I'll push my feet back a little further into their crotch; it makes it painful for them to scoot forward anymore.

    Finally, you can always try the domme route, but you have to be careful. It does have a tendency to make them more aggressive, and it's what caused me to be thrown to the couch one night by a drunk fuck. Just straddle them, grab their hands, and hold their hands above their head to the couch forcibly. Unfortunately, they'll still try to bite you, and they're going to try to get their hands loose, and if they do get their hands loose, they're going to grab you HARD as soon as they do, so you have to move QUICK.

    Other options: As one girl mentioned, hold onto something valuable of theirs. I always tell my customers when we first sit down, "Okay, check your pockets. Anything sharp or hard? Cell phones? Keys? I don't want to hurt myself when I'm playing with you!" and I'll make the customer put cell phone & keys on the table beside the couch. If they're being a REAL prick, jump off (quickly!), grab the phone and keys, step back from the customer, and say, "Pay me NOW! Dance is over." When they bitch, say, "You broke the rules. Pay me and get the fuck out." Be prepared for them to lunge at you to grab their phone/keys. If/when they do, sidestep them and go to the VIP host, manager, bouncer, or whoever. Explain the situation. When you get paid, give them back their stuff.

    One other thing: Never forget that everyone has a "cash-to-bullshit" ratio... For example, I won't put up with some asshat trying to grab me and lick me for $20 (even if they're not getting anywhere--the stress of dealing with it is too high for my tastes), but I WILL put up with the crap for $100. How much bullshit are you going to have to deal with for the cash? Never be afraid to say, "This isn't worth it," and walk out. Also, do a good deed and TELL the other girls when you get a Grabby McGrabbypants on your hands. Just tell them: "Watch out for that guy over there; he's going to try to grab your pussy if you dance for him." Why? #1 it creates goodwill. #2 it helps to clarify to some of the girls who may be on the fence about extras that you don't HAVE to let them do that. and #3 hopefully the girls will start warning you as well.

    Good luck!

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    I don't want to touch your pee-pee. And that's what you want. I guarantee you didn't approach because of my sparkling character.
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    Veteran Member Daisa's Avatar
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    I'm really sorry that happened to you. Is there anyway you could start getting your money up front? This way you have the upper hand. At our club we get paid for VIPs up front, so if a guy even attempts anything like that, I will give them a warning. If they try again, then I just walk out. ..and I don't feel bad about it. The customer loses his money and the club will always take the dancers side in cases like this.
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    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    It's getting bad like this everywhere . The worst part is when I hear a girl questioning if there is something wrong with her, or if she's doing something wrong.

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    Veteran Member Morgan_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    Quote Originally Posted by Peanut_Butter View Post
    They were a bachelor party, and the bachelor had a girl they were laying down on a couch, she was laying on to pof him ith her back against him, legs spread open, thong pulled to the side and th bachelor was fingering her. out in the open.
    Out of curiosity, why didn't you do something about this? You could've gone to get a manager. Or you could've even said to the bachelor, "Hey! You can't do that here!" (Just make sure to address the bachelor and not the dancer.)

    Contact me for a psychic reading or spiritual advice!
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissAlethea View Post
    I don't want to touch your pee-pee. And that's what you want. I guarantee you didn't approach because of my sparkling character.
    Quote Originally Posted by ArmySGT. View Post
    Well treat like a glass slipper. Go out and find the Prince that magnum fits.

  22. #22
    Peanut_Butter
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    Thank you everyone

    I decided that from now on I am going to take guys to the cage if they are paying with funny money, so we can get the money before going to the VIP room, instead of waiting on the host to run the card. That way I am paid upfront and can leave if nesessary, and also on a 3 for 100 I won't have to sit there an extra 3 songs wasting time waiting for them to run the CC.

    I guess that this is the direction that stripping is going and I need to adapt to survive. That doesn't mean I need to lower my boundaries, because I do feel it is unnessessary to allow touchign to make money, but I do need to be more firm with how I tell them what my limits are. I know I can still sell within these limits. I always have been able to. I worked at a club with only 10 dancers before, the other 9 were all puttin gout in VIP, yet I was the top earner by far. And I never even took off my top in VIP. ( t was against the law there. VIP's were to be done fully clothed, but I was the only one who followed the law) I still made much more money than anyone else because I had sales skills and the ability to make men fall in love with me over ad over. I can still do that. It just might be a little more difficult.

    I was just upset because I had never encountered this so much before. It happened occasionally, but never with every single customer. I got fed up. But now I know what to expect and have though of how to handle it and can be prepared mentally with how to deal.

    Thank you.

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    Featured Member iambonbon05's Avatar
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    Hopefully it was just a really bad night. One night you could dance for a bunch of wonderful gentlemen that tip you a lot extra, other nights you get nothing but assholes like this. I hope it turns up.
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    I'd say that in over half of the VIP rooms that I've ever done, the men expect to get a helluva lot more. Like, really expect it. I figured it was because they had gotten it somewhere else... not even from an extra girls at the club I was working, but at any other (or three) clubs in the city.

    I'm sorry you had to deal with that, it sucks.
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    Featured Member Starfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: 4 VIP rooms and went home crying

    Quote Originally Posted by iseestars View Post
    I think that, yes, maybe you should grow a thicker skin and not be so sensitive.
    I personally find it hard to not be "sensitive" when I am being sexually assaulted in my workplace as the OP described.

    OP, I'm glad you are going to take the other girls suggestions about running the card first. I also liked what someone else said about making sure they know what your boundaries are BEFORE you go up there. My club has some extras girls, so people sometimes expect a lot more in the rooms, so I am extra careful about who I even *mention* VIP to and when I mention it I try to be super clear about the boundaries. This approach doesn't get me as many VIPs, but I'm not going insane while I'm up there.

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