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Thread: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

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    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    Ok, what is it with customers when it comes to us having or not having kids?

    I get asked that question a million times every night, of course, don't we all, and I am always honest. I see absolutely no reason to lie about it. I do not have kids, and I do not have any interest in having them. I wish customers would just ask me if I have them and leave it at that, but of course they always gotta follow it up with "Well do you want them someday?" I give an honest answer to that one too....No. I do not have any interest in having them. Again, why lie?
    OH, You should see the looks I get! Totally wide eyed, shocked look like oh my god, did she just say that?
    Yes, I just fucking said that!!!!! What is it? Why is it so shocking? Cause every stripper is supposed to have kids or something? Or is it the part when I say I don't want to have them? Well usually, I just get the shocked look, then I turn the conversation elsewhere, we move on and all is good in the hood.
    Last night was a first, though. I actually had a guy reprimand me for "Not taking advantage of my special ability/gift that I was given" Apparently at my age, which is 27, I should already have a child or be on my way to having one. He went on to ramble about how women were put on this earth to bear children, how people like me who don't want them, well not only are we evil but we must have something wrong with us. Then he goes on to tell a story about his friend's wife who can't have kids and how she would kill for the chance to have her own child, blah blah blah. THEN, asked me why I am stripping when I don't have kids, how I should get another job and let the girls with kids make the money cause they need it, and I don't.

    This guy was actually being really emotional! I got up from the table in the middle of his rant, and he pulled my arm to sit back down and goes "Oh no, I am not finished with you yet!" I yanked my arm out of his grasp, told him to not touch me again or I'd have him 86'd. As I was walking away, he yelled something at me which I couldn't hear. I looked back and he was doing the "shooing away" motion with his hand while saying something to his buddy.
    Now, I know alot of you may be thinking this was yet another drunken ramble by a drunk, but the guy was drinking red bull and water. He did not drink alcohol.

    What gives?

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    I've never once been asked if i have kids. Ive been asked if im married tho.
    that is weird.
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    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    It almost sounds like he was trying to preach a religion to you, seriously. That is pretty fucked up. I have two kids, and yeah I need the money, but I'm not an emotional wreck when other strippers don't have kids!? Um, I don't even see that as a factor in the competition of it all!? Super weird guy! I bet he was an avid church goer who was trying to justify why he was there... doing a good deed of course! These knocked up strippers need some help from a good Godly man! LOL WTF ever dude!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lysondra
    I had previously stuck the bananas and cucumber in my cooter, yes.

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    Featured Member iseestars's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    I get asked if I have kids all the time but I have never been reprimanded for not having them. But I do plan to have kids and tell customers that I am waiting until my 30s and they always seem to think that it's a good idea. Good for you though for walking away and not taking that. He isn't going to be raising your kids and supporting you so his opinion doesn't need to be in your personal life. I really hate it when people feel like they need to make choices for everyone else involving their kids. Like, I said, I want to wait until my early 30s to start having kids and I had one girl that I went to school with go off on me about how selfish I was for wanting to wait that long because I won't have energy at that age for little kids.

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    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    Quote Originally Posted by iseestars View Post
    I get asked if I have kids all the time but I have never been reprimanded for not having them. But I do plan to have kids and tell customers that I am waiting until my 30s and they always seem to think that it's a good idea. Good for you though for walking away and not taking that. He isn't going to be raising your kids and supporting you so his opinion doesn't need to be in your personal life. I really hate it when people feel like they need to make choices for everyone else involving their kids. Like, I said, I want to wait until my early 30s to start having kids and I had one girl that I went to school with go off on me about how selfish I was for wanting to wait that long because I won't have energy at that age for little kids.
    This is really strange to me! I'm used to getting weird looks and shit because I do have kids at a younger age... But yeah it's all the same: other people judging you or trying to push their agenda on your reproductive organs. I also don't understand why it's such a controversial thing!?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lysondra
    I had previously stuck the bananas and cucumber in my cooter, yes.

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    Veteran Member Morgan_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    I get asked if I have kids by literally every single customer over the age of 30. I answer honestly, that I do have three kids. Some will say, "You don't look like you've had three kids!" Some will just nod and ask how old they are. Around here, it seems like that's just small talk. The girls that say they don't have kids, the guys will often just move onto another question, like, "Are you going to school?" or "What do you like to do when you're not working?"

    Still, it was really out of line for him to do that.

    If you don't want to lie, you shouldn't have to. But a lot of the girls I know that are child-free will reply to the kids question with this: "Not yet. Someday I'd like to have kids, so I'm going to dance while I'm young to save up the money to have a family someday." Doesn't matter that it's not true... Some guys just like the idea of "supporting single moms", like the T-shirt says.

    I am sorry that he was like that. SOOOOO not cool...

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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    Since he wasn't drunk, he was clearly just nuts! What difference could it possibly make to him on any level if a a random stranger has children or not? INSANE.
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    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jo Weldon View Post
    Since he wasn't drunk, he was clearly just nuts! What difference could it possibly make to him on any level if a a random stranger has children or not? INSANE.
    Because the more money he gives to struggling stripper moms the more God wont care about his sinning! lol!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lysondra
    I had previously stuck the bananas and cucumber in my cooter, yes.

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    Veteran Member Morgan_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    I also think it sounds like he's having just a general personal problem. Maybe his wife, girlfriend, daughter, sister, etc. just had a miscarriage or lost a child. Or maybe he and his wife have been TTC and been unable to. I know when I was TTC and went months without conception, I was very jealous of the women who COULD get pregnant, and would get VERY angry at women who had an abortion. It was kind of like, "The ONE thing I want more than anything else in the world, and I can't have it and you can, and you don't want it."

    I'm a lot more mellow about such things now, but it sounds like there's something going on in his personal life and that was just a very sensitive topic.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissAlethea View Post
    I don't want to touch your pee-pee. And that's what you want. I guarantee you didn't approach because of my sparkling character.
    Quote Originally Posted by ArmySGT. View Post
    Well treat like a glass slipper. Go out and find the Prince that magnum fits.

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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    Oh, I forgot about that! Well, if saving his soul depends on it, I guess it is his business!

    Quote Originally Posted by Electrum View Post
    Because the more money he gives to struggling stripper moms the more God wont care about his sinning! lol!
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    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan_TX View Post
    I also think it sounds like he's having just a general personal problem. Maybe his wife, girlfriend, daughter, sister, etc. just had a miscarriage or lost a child. Or maybe he and his wife have been TTC and been unable to. I know when I was TTC and went months without conception, I was very jealous of the women who COULD get pregnant, and would get VERY angry at women who had an abortion. It was kind of like, "The ONE thing I want more than anything else in the world, and I can't have it and you can, and you don't want it."

    I'm a lot more mellow about such things now, but it sounds like there's something going on in his personal life and that was just a very sensitive topic.
    It's interesting how emotions can go any which way when it comes to reproduction. I, on the other hand, had an abortion and then during it and after it I was completely disturbed, horrified, and sad at what had happened. I have hormonal issues already, so the sharp change in hormones through me into a very severe depression, to say the least. During which I was actually known to flip out if I even saw a pregnant woman I'm better now! It was just a crazy experience, and it just goes to show that no matter what you believe, for some reason the whole reproductive mess is always extremely emotional for some people at some point in their life. (I'm not giving that guy an excuse at all, but just kinda psycho-analyzing this thread lol.)

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lysondra
    I had previously stuck the bananas and cucumber in my cooter, yes.

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    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    Yeah, who knows. There could be a million reasons for why that guy said what he said, but it was still weird. Probaly one of the most uncomfortable moments in all of my stripping career.
    When he told me the story about his buddy's wife who's infertile, he was really emotional about it, almost looked like he was gonna cry.
    I know that had something to do with it, but what doesn't make sense to me is, if he was that upset about it, why bring it up? Maybe he was just looking to vent to someone, and I happened to be the unlucky one to feel the wrath.
    The guy really was just strange, though.

    One thing I forgot to add, is that the guy he was with was as weird as he was. He asked me if I smoked marijuana, I said no, then he asked where he could get some around the club. I told him I had no idea. I don't smoke and I really seriously have no clue who would have it. He kept pressing and pressing though. It was odd. Almost felt like a setup by an undercover or something. He wasn't drinking either.

    Just a really strange pair of guys.......

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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    As a sex worker, you are performing a hyper-feminine role, a stigmatized one, but none the less.

    So, for these dillweeds who think that your performance of femininity is real (or that gender dichotomous personality is more than a performance), it only follows that you would do the other thing that makes a woman super-feminine: being a mother.

    And as a woman you are valued only in your feminine performance as fits the needs or desires of the male/masculine patriarchy.

    And a lot of people would prefer to think that your dancing for some "noble cause" like raising children or funding your husband's education or whatever.

    And then there's that Demi Moore (? I'm so disconnected from the "real world") movie that I refuse to watch...

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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    Some people believe there are two kinds of stripper - poor struggling moms selling themselves to make a better life for their children, and young whores selling themselves for drugs and booze. They'd rather give their money to the poor struggling moms because it makes them feel better about spending it on a stripper. When I danced at one club in L.A., I had a fictional three-year-old daughter and I swear my money went up. I should've brought her with me to Portland, LOL!

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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    Did you fly to Utah to work this weekend ? Or did some church pounding guy just fly from Utah to you ? That sounds just like something I would hear locally . I think one of the hardest things about working in an SC is not taking everything that is said to heart.

    He might have not just been a religion pounder, but possibly an "extreme nature" guy which would explain why he wanted to find some weed.

    What a weirdo. Want more behavior like that ? Come visit me in UT !

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    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah Andi View Post
    As a sex worker, you are performing a hyper-feminine role, a stigmatized one, but none the less.

    So, for these dillweeds who think that your performance of femininity is real (or that gender dichotomous personality is more than a performance), it only follows that you would do the other thing that makes a woman super-feminine: being a mother.

    And as a woman you are valued only in your feminine performance as fits the needs or desires of the male/masculine patriarchy.

    And a lot of people would prefer to think that your dancing for some "noble cause" like raising children or funding your husband's education or whatever.

    And then there's that Demi Moore (? I'm so disconnected from the "real world") movie that I refuse to watch...
    Someone already compared me to that movie lol. I haven't seen it but I'm still emotionally scared from everybody assuming I love the movie The Craft and getting it as a present for me for years

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lysondra
    I had previously stuck the bananas and cucumber in my cooter, yes.

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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    That is SOOOOO TRUE! I think a lot of sex work clients don't want to think of themselves as clients so they engage every possible twist of logic to make it appear that they are different from all the other clients, or that the women they patronize are different or more deserving than the other sex workers.

    If they'd just relax and realize that yes, they truly are all just as special as their mothers told them they were, and we STILL don't want to be any closer to them than we are...

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Some people believe there are two kinds of stripper - poor struggling moms selling themselves to make a better life for their children, and young whores selling themselves for drugs and booze. They'd rather give their money to the poor struggling moms because it makes them feel better about spending it on a stripper. When I danced at one club in L.A., I had a fictional three-year-old daughter and I swear my money went up. I should've brought her with me to Portland, LOL!
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    Veteran Member Jo Weldon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    There's actually a great moment in that movie (which still fails to make it a great movie) where Demi Moore's character is dancing for Burt Reynolds' character and they both have two such distinctly separate agendas, and she's clearly aware of his and he's clearly not aware of hers...I find that scene really amusing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah Andi View Post
    As a sex worker, you are performing a hyper-feminine role, a stigmatized one, but none the less.

    So, for these dillweeds who think that your performance of femininity is real (or that gender dichotomous personality is more than a performance), it only follows that you would do the other thing that makes a woman super-feminine: being a mother.

    And as a woman you are valued only in your feminine performance as fits the needs or desires of the male/masculine patriarchy.

    And a lot of people would prefer to think that your dancing for some "noble cause" like raising children or funding your husband's education or whatever.

    And then there's that Demi Moore (? I'm so disconnected from the "real world") movie that I refuse to watch...
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    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    He was probably just an extreme douche. I've told customers I would never have kids and they have never reacted anything like that.

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    Picaresque
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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    Quote Originally Posted by likewow View Post
    I actually don't get the "do you have kids?" question more than once or twice a week, but on the occasions that I have (and have said that I don't want them) I usually get bingoed.
    ahaha, someone else who knows what a bingo is!


    I like to avoid confrontation in the club by never stating any opinion stronger than "I like kittens". Being non-committal when custies ask personal questions makes it easy to avoid time-wasting debates.

    custy: "do you have kids?"
    me: "no"
    custy: "do you want them someday?"
    me: *shrug, smile* "maybe. and right now, I definitely want a lapdance. Ready?"
    (even though what I'm thinking is "no way in hell would I ever want a squalling brat"...it's easier to just say "maybe" and change the topic to something more productive.)

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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jo Weldon View Post
    That is SOOOOO TRUE! I think a lot of sex work clients don't want to think of themselves as clients so they engage every possible twist of logic to make it appear that they are different from all the other clients, or that the women they patronize are different or more deserving than the other sex workers.
    QFT!

    IMO, this is exactly how some of the more smug, judgemental patrons justify their behavior.

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    Featured Member iambonbon05's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    I think it's an irritating reaction that happens to a lot of people whether they're strippers or not. I personally REALLY want kids, definitely within the next 9 years or so, but I don't think people that don't are crazy or evil or hate kids. Even though I can't really fathom it. It's incredibly rude of people to be like "oh, you'll change your mind" or whatever.

    There's more than enough unwanted kids to go around.

    Interesting thread. I get asked this a lot and always say no, not yet. Maybe I should start saying I do.
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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    What an asshole! If this is a consistent problem with custies asking that and trying to make you feel like shit for your decision, I'd just lie and say that I can't have any. No way they'd try to make you feel like shit then, well hopefully.

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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    my suspicion is that because a lot of guys who frequent stripclubs (and other venues for sexwork or adult entertainment or whatever you choose to call it) have puritannical views of the work regardless of being a patron. they need to believe that these women are not there because they want to be there, because then that somehow ruins the illusion in their mind that stripping is this horrible thing. so dancers either have children or they are broke students who need the money to 'better themselves' and all of that.

    women must be compelled by hardship or otherwise coerced by society into being strippers. it is the only way that a customer guy can keep stripclubs evil in his head while still feeling like frequenting them is a good thing. when they are confronted with a reality that challenges that then they get emotional, because they still believe that stripclubs are evil but all of a sudden they do not feel as noble and helpful as they may have before.

    in other words: it is just a dude being a dumbass.

    It can be difficult to make a recently single man pay for sex when he knows that a quick trip to the local watering hole would secure at least one hard drunken tumble for far less cash. It is even more difficult when he is something of a dead ringer for James Bond as played by Daniel Craig and possesses the sort of awkard charm and confidence that brands a man like him as a lady killer.

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    Veteran Member badpixie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Scorned by a customer for not having kids!

    I get this once in a while. You can blow it off by saying that you would rather adopt and give a home to a child who needs one, if you changed your mind. I'll say this if I think they're about to go into a rant (even though it's not true and I hate kids), and it usually placates the breeder brigade.

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