SO just a few days ago I was thinking about posting about how well things are going despite a few crappy things. I was going to say that nursing school is difficult but im still aiming for my goal of graduating with honors. Anything less is unacceptable. Ive come a long way since when I first started posting here, and even further from where I was when I was prego with Azaia. Im far from where I used to be but far from where I want to be.
So Ive been having car problems. If its not one thing its another.I cant trade it for a new one because I owe 5252.14 and its only worth at best $900. All the repairs are worth more than $2000. Im stuck with a piece of shit car.Today it overheated after school on my way to my drug test. (no i dont do drugs, the school requires it) So I had to have it towed and the estimate SO FAR is $300.Im really upset. I work way too damn hard to be driving this crap.Its ugly because the ex messed it up after I had him banned from my job.Oil leak.Bent rim.No gas cover.Stinky exhaust.Bad transmission.I deserve something better and Im so mad the dealer took advanatge of me and Im mad at myself for falling for it.
So the $500 ive been holding onto for the past week for rent is down the drain. Im WAY too exhausted at work but I have no choice.Im down here alone. Not ONE family member to help.Daycare is 100/week. Night babysitter is 20/night. Family would be free. Not a luxury i get to enjoy.All of you with family, appreciate it. And I think my babysitter is upset with me because I let her watch my baby and she got sick from here but I didnt know my baby was sick, i thought she was teething. So she wont answer her phone.
Im just tired of everything. I wish somebody with insurance would hit my car and total it. I wish things would just go right for me ONE time. Just for one day I want to feel what its like to be happy without stress. To not be touched by perverts to pay my rent.I hate dancing and I hate my club.
And thats another issue. My club. Can they FORCE me to be there 5 nights a week and NOT pay me shit, and fine me if im sick,late,leave a little early if i got school at 6am.my club doesnt do ANYTHING for us.I feel like a slave there. We HAVE to work a Monday or Tuesday and Fridays are scheduled days now. So we only get two nights off. I hate that place. If ur sick and miss one night, u dont get to work the rest of the week. WTF they dont pay us we pay them!! The tip out for the DJ is $25/night even on nights when we make only $5. The bar tip out is $5 and they get more tips thatn us sometimes,and a paycheck and I DONT EVEN DRINK! and I brong my own water!! This is Pensacola. Im suing them if they fire me for any reason. And Ima make them require girls to get health forms because the nasty hookers they let walk in and work carry shit,and we all cut ourselves on the same spot on the stage.and all roll around in the same sweat. Im not getting TB from them whores. And Im NOT ALLOWED to study on slow nights.Aint that something? Go get on the floor and dance for eachother?? Im sorry but if I HAVE to be there 5 nights a week until 3am,and I have to pay you and I have to be up at 6am,Im gonna study.Im burning that place down when I graduate from school.
Ok if you read this all....you dont even have to reply. I just had to get it out and know that SOMEBODY hears me. Thanks.
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