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Thread: How do I not sound like a bitch already?!

  1. #1
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default How do I not sound like a bitch already?!

    -LONG ASS RANT-

    I've known this guy for a couple of years now(5 or 6). He ALWAYS had a little thing for me(even when married ). I never flirted with him or lead him on, but I casually chat with him to be "nice". He's not my type at all & I don't like cheating douche bags. NOW that he knows i've been single for 5 months & he is seperated from his wife, he keeps irking the shit out of me almost everyday to hang out to eat, get a drink, concerts, whatever. It's-fuck-ing-annoy-ing!!!!

    I hung out with him last month for dinner so he can shut up and quit asking when we're hanging again. AND he stills!

    I hooked up with his friend once (last month too-who i've also known for a while), we just went out for drinks, kissed and that's it...nothing serious. SO NOW since I went out with his friend, he thinks he has a better chance of hooking up with me...and being more annoying than ever.

    I don't know how to tell him to cut the shit w/o sounding like a bitch.

  2. #2
    zxcire
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    Default Re: How do I not sound like a bitch already?!

    what's wrong with "I'm not interested"?

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    Veteran Member VeraLynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I not sound like a bitch already?!

    I'd tell him that he's being a little overwhelming. Say to him that you want to be honest.. you still want to be his friend (if you do!) but he is starting to get a bit buggy and you don't want him to push you away with it. Bascially, back off and still get to see you, or keep it up and you just get frustrated and eventually never want to see him again.
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    Featured Member iseestars's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I not sound like a bitch already?!

    Since making up excuses isn't working, I'd probably say something like "With you constantly asking me to do things with you, it's sounds like we are dating and you know it could never be like that with us" so it sounds like you think he agrees and you just put it out there that there is no way you could date him.

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    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I not sound like a bitch already?!

    You could always try the "I'm back with my boyfriend" routine, but since he's by nature a cheater, it's unlikely to deter him.

    Look, you're actually doing this guy a favor. There is no chance in hell that you'll ever touch him, so he needs to know that and look elsewhere.

    Try, "I'm extremely flattered, but this is just not going to happen. At all, ever. Please don't waste your time on me because that just means you are letting the women who are really interested in you get away."

    That makes you sound like you are doing him a favor (which you are), it closes every door, and turns him around and pushes him in the right direction. Which is away from you.

    If he persists after that, he's edging into creepy, if not borderline stalker, territory.

  6. #6
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: How do I not sound like a bitch already?!

    Why are you having dinner with him if you're not interested? He pesters you to go out with him, it works, and you wonder why he's pestering you for another date? Look at it from his point of view - you're nice to him, you go to dinner with him, you answer his calls. It's not unreasonable for him to think you're interested in him. Since you're not, you'll have to come out and tell him that you're not. No need to be dramatic or anything, just explain that you don't want to date him and it's time for both of you to move on. Then don't answer his calls or engage him in any way.

    I will never understand why women feign interest in scuzzy men to be "nice."

  7. #7
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I not sound like a bitch already?!

    The thing is i'll always see him bc we know the same ppl, so I have no choice.

  8. #8
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: How do I not sound like a bitch already?!

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner View Post
    Try, "I'm extremely flattered, but this is just not going to happen. At all, ever. Please don't waste your time on me because that just means you are letting the women who are really interested in you get away."
    A women I knew said the above to me, TOO. We remained friends up until she fell in love with a guy and quickly drifted out of my life--and I freaked out. Doh! But, I agree, in general this makes a great deal of sense.

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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I not sound like a bitch already?!

    I had one of those recently. Very nice guy. I didn't want to be a bitch, hurt his feelings and turn him into some woman hater for the next girl. I was just not attracted to him in the least. My excuse was, "I'm still in love with my ex and just cant date right now. I really just need a friend."

    He backed off and we are still on good terms.

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    Default Re: How do I not sound like a bitch already?!

    Have to agree with Yek's point. Having dinner with a guy who is pestering you is kinda silly. Not only will it not make him quit, it will actually make him more persistent. From his point of view, it seems you're interested but are just playing hard to get. He's going to double up on his efforts to "break down your barriers". A simple "friends" speech is the best way to handle situations like this.
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