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Thread: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

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    Default I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    So I returned to dancing after an almost 9 year hiatus last week and after two shifts I realized I just couldn't do it anymore. I don't have anyone in my life right now that I can talk to about this so here I am. (There's the boyfriend or a select *few* girlfriends that are really baffled by the industry in general, so...)

    I took my costumes and shoes out of storage and washed 'em. I was super nervous at first and shocked that I couldn't immediately walk in my heels (!!) but it didn't take long for my body to just click back into place and remember everything very vividly and with ease. In less than an hour, I had everything down pat and had completely forgotten that I had even stopped.

    I came back because I thought I could make some quick money but I found the stakes were just too high. Things are just...well...different. While I harbor absolutely no judgment on any women there or anywhere on what they do, I couldn't personally get to the point where I was comfortable.

    When I used to dance, there were places I worked in the Northeast that you could seriously bank and grinding was strictly forbidden. You got close to them and all, you put your tits on them, got between their legs, but it wasn't really full on grinding. And you didn't have to FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT to keep their hands off you! (Plus the tipout was $20 or they would pay YOU and you just had to tip the dj. And house moms were not as common.)

    You just didn't have to work that hard.

    I mean, yeah, I know, things were different before me, too. But back then it seemed "nearly" enough to be an incredibly sexy chick who had hot moves and knew how to make a customer feel special. I haven't worked in a ton of places other than in the NE and Florida, but it's obvious to me from this experience and from other threads on this board that this is the new direction of the work. And it's also obvious to see how this leads to extras, everywhere.

    I don't want to go on and on about this because I think its a pretty common lament. I guess I just want to figure out how this happens, or maybe more, how does this make sense? Like, why do these men pay oodles and oodles of money to go into the VIP where they want you do shit that you don't want to do as a dancer when they could go to a prostitute and get what they want for possibly much less? (I don't claim to know anything about that, I am just imagining...) The original concept of the VIP is that the guy wants to hang out with the girl more privately to drink, talk and dance for a long time, not in front of the whole club. Maybe that's sounds totally Pollyanna of me, but that's what used to happen!!!

    I don't know. I feel mildly devastated by this, but glad I could figure it out quickly. Anyone want to weigh in?

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    I lot has changed in 9 years. I started in 1998, and it is a whole new ball game today.

    Have you tried a stage-only club? That might be a better fit.

    Like, why do these men pay oodles and oodles of money to go into the VIP where they want you do shit that you don't want to do as a dancer when they could go to a prostitute and get what they want for possibly much less?
    Because they can delude themselves that the girls are doing extras voluntarily. You know, because the guy is sooooo irresistible.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    It's soooooo different now a days. Working twice as hard for less $$. Girls doing sooooo much more for hardly nothing. it sucks. Can't wait to retire.

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    Featured Member iseestars's Avatar
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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    I'm actually glad I wasn't in this business 10 years ago because I would hate to know what I had missed out on.

    You just tried that one club? Maybe try a few more, you never know. Each club is different although I do think overall, money just sucks and we do have to work harder for it. I've been dancing 3 years and it was much easier it seems when I started than nowadays.

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    Featured Member rusdancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    OMG!I totally agree with OP,the business is completely different,everything about it has dramatically changed,very unfortunately.I started in '94,when you would get a line of people to tip you when you're BARELY on stage,still with your costume on.You didn't even dance often,just collected the money.
    I haven't danced in 8 months now,retired for the same reasons,couldn't take it anymore.Thinking about coming out of retirement,just to do it once-twice a month,but afraid will get sick of it immediately again.

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    Featured Member Perry's Avatar
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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    My mom was a dancer about 30-40 years ago. The club paid her $200 a week to dance, she kept everything she made from private dances, and if a guy so much as touched her hair the bouncers beat the shit out of them. There were no DJs, just juke boxes (that costed a nickle) and pole tricks were, in her exact words, "I could do a lot of them. But no one did that crazy upside down shit you do!"

    ETA She eventually retired to erotic modeling. Even though I think she was pretty spoiled, she had a temper and beat the hell out of custys for offences most strippers just brush off. Like asking to meet her OTC. After I found out she was a dancer, a lot of her brawling stories made much more sense.

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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    Quote Originally Posted by Perry View Post
    My mom was a dancer about 30-40 years ago. The club paid her $200 a week to dance, she kept everything she made from private dances, and if a guy so much as touched her hair the bouncers beat the shit out of them. There were no DJs, just juke boxes (that costed a nickle) and pole tricks were, in her exact words, "I could do a lot of them. But no one did that crazy upside down shit you do!"

    ETA She eventually retired to erotic modeling. Even though I think she was pretty spoiled, she had a temper and beat the hell out of custys for offences most strippers just brush off. Like asking to meet her OTC. After I found out she was a dancer, a lot of her brawling stories made much more sense.
    Cool Mom! I'm jealous.
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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    Damn, I wish it were like that now. $200 bucks a week was A LOT of money back then, and that's not even taking into account stage tips and dances!

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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    hell being at this 6 years i can see how its changed..things have gotten so lax and your right girls do retarded shit for so little.

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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    I danced in NC. Now that I'm in NYC, there's really no way I'd do it here based on the things I know that go on at the clubs.

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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    Quote Originally Posted by virgoamm View Post
    Damn, I wish it were like that now. $200 bucks a week was A LOT of money back then, and that's not even taking into account stage tips and dances!
    I don't think lap dances were implemented into clubs until the 90s actually. I don't know the exact year but I'm pretty sure there was a very strict 'no touching' policy up until then, and even then there was no real grinding or sexual contact.

    That sucks about the OPs experience. I can't wait to leave now...it is getting worse and worse. In the clubs where there is no contact, it's hard to make decent money.

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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    In response to the other posters, no, I didn't try any other clubs, but I did do my research. I thought this place was really the best option and I figured if I was disappointed there, nothing would work. I am pretty sure that here in nyc it's all a lot of the same thing. And we all know about what happened at Scores but damn, even when I was hanging out there in 2000 with friends, the shit was different.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    I
    Have you tried a stage-only club? That might be a better fit.
    As far as I know, these do not exist in ny, or shall I say, they do not exist as options in my mind, there is simply no money there. (And money is why I returned.. ) I was also really surprised to find out at this place, you make literally *zero* money on stage. I remember coming off stage back in the day with so many singles, you had to carry a big purse.

    Ah well. Perry, your mom sounds like an amazing woman. I can't even imagine what it was like back then.

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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    I was really looking foward to giving dancing a try and have also learned that this just simply isn't the best time to do it. I'm still going to try and find a great club , but it's stories like this that make me glad I have my other gig even if I am bored to tears of it. For example , I thought it would be SO FUN to audition a couple weeks ago and when I made awful stage money at one club, I learned really fast that dancing wasn't always fun. It wasn't quite the " in the moment having so much fun " experience I was after. But .... jobs are that way and all moments aren't fun ones. I was also hoping for a ton of stage money and was sad that it was easy to gather ( because there wasn't a lot ) .

    Paris : Are there any clubs in the western U.S. that are stage only ( other than UT .... I can't dance here .... my brother is club age ) ? Any topless only / stage only ones ? Any that you don't have to have a license for ?

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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    Yep, stripping has changed A LOT since 2000. It breaks my heart actually, not just for my own sanity and income, but for everyone, dancers, customers, SC employees. It's a huge loss. You really have to be a warrior to dance these days because you're being squeezed from all angles, customers wanting MORE of your body, owners wanting MORE of your money. Hence the need for all the positive thinking, self hypnosis, excellent sales skills. It used to be you just made sure you looked super hot and went to work.

    I agree that it's probably better to have started stripping in the last few years so you don't know the difference. Returning after 9 years the change must be shocking. I've danced longer than that but the most I've been a way is two years. Witnessing how much our value and income has been whittled away is disheartening. Especially when I know that the customers KNOW they get so much more for less now. There are still gems that make it fun and the money is still worthwhile, but I too miss the days when the guys weren't allowed to get at you due to club rules, not your own constant discipline.

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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    There are a few in Portland that a girl can still make decent $$ (like $150 a shift) if she doesn't want to do lap dances. There is the Lusty Lady in Seattle, but that is a peep show, so different atmosphere.

    I think San Francisco used to have stage only clubs that served alcohol, but I'm not sure how that is working today. (The name T's comes to mind)

    Other than that, I hung it up over a year ago, so I'm kind of out of the loop.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    I've been doing this since 9/11 .... and just in that short time I have seen how things have changed LOCALLY! Now, you HAVE to go full nude on stage in a lot of the local clubs or else YOU ARE FINED... and not allowed to hustle for stage tips whilst doing your 15 min stage set (and NOT getting paid to do). It's so disheartening to see how things have changed just locally in that short time.

    It's why I now am retired from the SEQ strip club scene. I just feel it has gone downhill and there ARE better options elsewhere (I'm NOT talking just about Melbourne).

    Anyway, I'm just saying I can commiserate to a certain extent.

    It will be interesting to see what happens in the next 10 years with this industry......... esp. in the USA. Will they FINALLY make prostitution legal or at least decriminalize it so that BROTHELS can open and independent escorts can operate legitimately?

    Kinda like it is here in Australia so if someone wants to pay me for sex I laugh in his face and say (something along the lines of): There are 3 brothels 10 minutes from this club ... go there if you want to pay for sex... not at a STRIP club.


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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    This is why I'm working like a dog now. Because I hate to be negative, but I don't see things getting any better. I can still tolerate the contact level as it is, and the money is still really good for me now. So I remind myself to work work work (and save save save), so when it gets to where I can't take it anymore, I'll have a pile of money to go back to school, and I can afford to just walk away from it all, instead of letting men do more than I'm ok with.

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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    200 bucks from 1968-1978 is about 2k now.

    imagine getting paid 2k per week by the club, plus keeping any additional money customers gave you, in a non-contact, non-lap dance environment, with pasties/g-string.

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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    Quote Originally Posted by miabella View Post
    200 bucks from 1968-1978 is about 2k now.

    imagine getting paid 2k per week by the club, plus keeping any additional money customers gave you, in a non-contact, non-lap dance environment, with pasties/g-string.
    Heaven. Sounds like one of the best, most fun jobs on the planet.

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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    Agreed with RussDancer that any girl who experienced the exotic dancing business model in the mid-nineties will be shocked by the decline that has taken place in the past 15 years. First the money declined after the dot-com bust of 1999 through 9/11, and then the 'sex business' aspects began to dominate the 'show business' aspects. Up until I totally retired from live dancing a couple of years ago, I went through several cycles of quitting live dancing and then returning a few months later. Every cycle involved less earnings potential and greater 'sex business' expectations on the part of customers, to the point where I just wasn't capable of dealing with it anymore !!!

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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    Quote Originally Posted by ahmeerah View Post
    Heaven. Sounds like one of the best, most fun jobs on the planet.
    black women weren't allowed to work in that kind of club environment, for the most part, during that time period, unless they could pass for something other than black.

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    Featured Member rusdancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    "I remember coming off stage back in the day with so many singles, you had to carry a big purse."

    Haha!Brings back memories,many times they had to use brooms to sweep the money off stage and then put it big bags,sometimes even trash bags.

    I'm actually thinking about giving it one last shot this week,just to see what it's like and to try to add a bit to a full time job that will be entering slow season (resorts).One of the best things about being in the business is the scheduling freedom,you can work at your own convinience.Hope nothing crazy happens.

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    Featured Member rusdancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    Yup,Melonie.I personally think things started to change dramatically in the business since 9/11,at least in the east coast.

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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    apparently, i can't keep up with my own thread..oops.

    omg, rusdancer, i totally forgot about the brooms. yeah, that actually did happen! i mean, not everywhere but...

    here's some comforting things that i found really funny though: the music was nearly exactly the same (like some strange 90s time warp) and my costumes from 10-12 years ago were totally not obsolete somehow. i even had girls ask where i got certain things and i was like, well...erhem...And I was working in the city.

    Anyways, thanks everyone for sort of confirming what I expected, however unfortunate. I am sure things are a little different at every place too. I sure did miss those girls though.

    My question is, when is it that us girls are gonna open, own, police and manage our own damn places for chrissakes??!!! Anyone know of a place like this? I worked in one, once, but it was such an unfortunate dirty dive...

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    Default Re: I re-retired after two shifts...not really a rant?

    Ah yes 9-12 years ago. Lets see, I was paid a stage fee. Not the club. They paid me each time I went on stage. (40 bucks) plus I kept all the tips. First song was strutting, second song was top off and more strutting and song 3 was the "rug" and money everywhere.

    I swear to god I didn't put my boobs in anyones face till 5 years ago. Oh and touching...hell no. I worked in some sleazy ass bars in NYC too and I NEVER was felt up. Stripclubs weren't friendly inviting enviroments, they are now. That's why people get too comfortable and act like assholes.

    It's not even a shade of likeness these days. The hustle from back then still can win the big money though. It's an air of class that exudes and overcomes the grinding when it's all said and done. Trust me. You just have to find a way to be confident that you still have it without giving it away.
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