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Thread: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

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    Featured Member Victoryx0x0's Avatar
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    Default so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    I have been dancing almost 5 years now. I danced in north jersey at 3 diff smaller clubs, then south jersey at 2 diff clubs. I am the type that gets along with all the staff and dancers.
    So my last club i left for a number of reasons, but the main one was the clientèle coming into the club were complete scumbags, as in expecting WAY too much for $1. My last night there, a dude was waiving $1 in my face taunting me "what are u going to do for this?" and i laughed at him, he pushed that dirty dollar into my face and i then slapped him and took the hat off his head and walked away. My manager at that time came stormin in the dressing room and said "you cant treat the customers that way" i quit that night. he took a scumbag customers side over mine!! i cried that nite it takes alot to make me cry but that was IT.

    so now im at a new club, its upscale, and hard to get hired here
    the customers are actually somewhat nice and they seem to like me there, so the $$ is good.
    Now the downfall (always seems to be one in this business?)
    *all* of the girls there hate me and are talking bad about me. they want me to leave! they talk bad about me to the customers too. and cut throat and come up while im sitting with someone and take the customers attention off of me and completely ignore me.
    it sucks, it really does.
    Even all the bullshit i went thru at my last bar, the one good thing was that the dancers and staff (besides the main manager) were like a close family.
    everyone tells me, its not about making friends, its about making $$. Im the type where if i feel like everyone hates me it really dampers my mood. i am known to double team the custies with my fellow dancers. i look out for the fellow dancers, i tell them, avoid this one, he is an asshole.
    the point is, if we can get along we can all actually make more $$

    I HATE being the new girl. and i always thru out my dance life, made it a point to be nice to the newbies. why are the vet dancers always so mean to them? do they not know how nerve wrecking it is for her to be the newbie as it is?


    just a vent i guess, thanks for listening.

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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    It bothers me that some of the girls treat newbs like that.

    Tough it out, babe. They'll come around.

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    God/dess JustJayda's Avatar
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    Gawd, that sucks babes!

    and the "stealing" customers crap is too much, really!

    easier said than done, but don't let them see you sweat., things will get better.
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    Featured Member iseestars's Avatar
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    I don't know why some dancers have to have an holier than thou attitude. Just continue to do your job, make sure all your stuff is locked up and try to ignore them. If it gets bad, try to take it to management. From my experience, management usually likes to know when senior girls are treating new girls like shit because this drives away new faces to the club.

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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    man.. thats what i'm scared of. i want to leave my club for a club with better money and so i can get over my ex boyfriend, but i'm scared to leave a place where i feel comfortable.

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    Featured Member Kabukicho's Avatar
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    I had a girl bullying me when I was new at my last club. I kept quiet and just tried to ignore it although it was really upsetting me. Then another new girl came along and didin't keep quiet, she told management exactly what was going on. They asked me why I hadn't said anything, gave the bully a good talking to and told her if he ever hears of her scaring away new girls, she's out.
    You might have to take it to management if it doesn't get better.

    PS I liked the story about taking his hat lol

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    Tough it out. You're being hazed! It happens at any good club where there is money to be made. They see you as money literally leaving their pockets.

    Stick it out and don't take shit from people.

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    Featured Member Victoryx0x0's Avatar
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    thanks for all the advice girls. Im going to give it a month but if it stays like that after a month i dont think its the place for me!

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    Veteran Member dollyrocker's Avatar
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    It just means you're hot! And shit talking you to customers just makes THEM look bad and you look GOOD (if you don't bad mouth them back). Be the bigger person and let them be jealous without letting them get to you : ).

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    Senior Member Joy to the world's Avatar
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    that hits home...I'm struggling because the club I love working at is really struggling right now so I moved a block down to a new club and I have left now 5 nights in a month before midnight because I have been so upset at the other girls.......Its the first job ever that I have not gotten along with everyone...I just don't get it, why would you be mean to your coworkers without provocation!!!
    Joy to the world

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    Veteran Member ellebelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    So totally been there. Just when you think you can't take it anymore, things settle down. In a month things should calm down Give it two and everyone will be your new best friend, and you'll wonder if these were the same people shoving you everytime they walked past you. heh.
    The world's most uncoordinated stripper

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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    Yikes do dancers actually shove the newbies? That's nuts. I would never be friends to anyone who treated me that way, even after they come around.
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    This is just something that comes with this business , the "comfortable" girls will always feel threatened when a new girl joins the club, they are set in thier ways and refuse to change, so anything you do that is not how they do it will be criticized by them. You should take it as a compliment when they talk about you, don't like you etc.,... instead of lookin at it as a bad thing, you can't please everyone and in this business you can only please yourself.

  15. #14
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    I love working in a new club. The reason I do is usually because there's no drama. I don't know anybody and I get to play the "I'm new here!" card to the customers. But it sounds like your club is kinda the opposite. That blows. Just suck it up and realize that they're just threatened. Take it as a compliment and keep to yourself while you make your money.

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    Veteran Member Alia_of_the_Knife's Avatar
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    I agree with the others. This behavior will most likely past. They will see that all of their negativity isn't putting a dent with you making money so they will either give up or move on to a new target.
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    Featured Member Sophia_Ashley's Avatar
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    We've all been there. Ignore the shit, walk around smiling and kill em' with kindness. Where I'm at it took 3 months before anyone would speak to me. And I see it go on all the time.

    You are a threat to them, that's why they are mean
    as damp as a cellar. . . all mildewy I'm as damp as a cellar. . . all mildewy

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    Quote Originally Posted by iseestars View Post
    I don't know why some dancers have to have an holier than thou attitude. Just continue to do your job, make sure all your stuff is locked up and try to ignore them. If it gets bad, try to take it to management. From my experience, management usually likes to know when senior girls are treating new girls like shit because this drives away new faces to the club.
    hence why senior girls do it they fear new faces in the club.

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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    Crap. This is one of the reasons I'm so scared to try a new club.

    I'm afraid I won't make money and that the other girls will be extra mean because the economy is bad. :sigh:

    I hope things get better for you.

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    Featured Member Sophia_Ashley's Avatar
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    I'm going to go to a new club soon and even though I know their attitudes don't matter much, it's still a put off. At least till you work your first shift.

    Once you do it though you'll wonder why you worried so much over it.
    as damp as a cellar. . . all mildewy I'm as damp as a cellar. . . all mildewy

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    Featured Member Victoryx0x0's Avatar
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    after 4 shifts (bout to have my fifth tonight) a few girls are being friendly. so thats nice i am about to go in again tonight... i am getting bubble guts like its my first time ever dancing. isnt that strange? i really miss my old club, the few custies i had, the girls, the staff they are all sending me good wishes and that there is NO $$ at that place so i should be happy.
    i have to keep reminding myself i have to establish myself here, its not going to happen over nite. i just feel like such an outcast loser lol i am like at the bottom of the totem pole.
    wish me luck and thanks for all the feedback and support i love u guys!

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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    "bubble guts"???!! ahaha, is that like butterflys?

    Good luck on you shift tonight! Usually once one girl starts to like you (as long as she isn't a whore or something) things get a lot easier from there.

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    Featured Member Sophia_Ashley's Avatar
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    Keep your chin up. It always takes awhile. Did you switch from a smaller club to a larger one? It's one of those situations where you try and act like you are minding your own business but not stuck up. It's a hard situation. Just walk around with a smile as your weapon
    as damp as a cellar. . . all mildewy I'm as damp as a cellar. . . all mildewy

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    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    I'm glad to hear you are feeling more comfortable. There's nothing worse than dreading going to work cause people are making you uncomfortable or bullying you. I know how it feels, it sucks.
    I went through it pretty bad at my last club. There were nights I would leave crying cause the girls were ripping me apart so bad. Things calmed down after I had been there a few weeks.
    After you aren't new anymore, they'll move on to harassing the next newbie and forget about you.
    There really is no way to stop it, so ignoring it really is the only thing to do.

    Bitches need to get a life, worry about themselves and get off on doing somehing else rather then picking on new girls. It's so lame.

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    Veteran Member ellebelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    Quote Originally Posted by PleasureVictim View Post
    Yikes do dancers actually shove the newbies? That's nuts. I would never be friends to anyone who treated me that way, even after they come around.
    Yeah not like a shove where they shove you with their hands. But they just walk striaght into you and keep walking like nothing happened. All this sort of shit seems to happen in smaller clubs, or clubs with a small turnover. The bigger the club, the less anyone seems to care.

    And no I'm nog usually *really* friends with them, but I'll suck it up and be civil after a few months - especially if they start to swing dances my way.

    Though pretty much all my best friends, I've been best enemies with first.
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    Featured Member Victoryx0x0's Avatar
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    Default Re: so now Im the newb everyone hates :(

    uhhhm yep, i gave up. the nastiness from everyone to me was overwhelming. the money was good the first two nights... then the newbie $$ died out and it was the same as my regular club. midway thru my shift tonight after i didnt sell ONE dance and getting pushed around and eyed down by all those chicks, i took my shoes off and said.... ITS NOT WORTH IT. its not that serious. they were acting like i was robbing them. tonight is friday, a money making night, and halfway thru my shift i hadnt sold ONE dance. by now at my other club i would have sold 5-10. i am going back to my comfort zone... i spoke with my manager and explained to him why i was upset. and why i left. he understood= he said "cya tommorow"

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