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Thread: I am so frustrated!!!!!

  1. #1
    Veteran Member VeraLynn's Avatar
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    I am so frustrated!!!!!

    I have a hard time asking for dances, champagne rooms, VIP rooms.. more money... suggesting tips.

    I've been dancing for a total of 5 or 6 years over the course of 8 or 9 - why is this so hard for me? Why am I so shy about it?

    And I find on those nights where I get confident and just ask and just suggest, I make the most money.

    What am I so afraid of!?! Can't be the objection, it has never upset me if someone has said "No, thanks." Even someone waiting for another dancer doesn't bother me - everyone's got their own tastes, including me. Can't blame a person for that.

    It's like I am embarassed to ask. I feel like a peon asking another peon for hard-earned cash for something that feels like... very easy work on my end.

    Am I alone in this? How do I get that confidence? Why am I so afraid to ask?!?!
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    "A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." -Herm Albright

    "Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud." -Sophocles

    "A stripper takes off her clothes; she does not have to take off her dignity."
    -One of Indie's Girlfriends

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    Senior Member LaylaJo's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am so frustrated!!!!!

    I don't know what to say, I have the same problem. I've only been dancing for about 6 months total, but I think I'm actually getting worse at it. I make simple goals for myself, like to talk to everyone in the club, or to make sure I say "let's go have some fun" or whatever to everyone I talk to. And then I get to work and freeze up and decide I can't do it. Why is it terrifying? I don't know.

    I'm assuming you're pretty shy OTC? I pretty much avoid people at all costs, so aside from being able to dance I'm not at all qualified for the job.

    It's probably either you get nervous and don't like to dominate a conversation (like me) or you just don't feel worth the money (this might be a problem of mine as well, still figuring that out.)

    If you don't think you're worth it, think hard about this. Why don't you think you're worth it? Write it down, get it all out, and then argue it. Write down why you ARE worth it, every tiny reason you can think of, and do this often. It's fucking hard to change your way of thinking, you have to keep working at it.

    I have the problem of feeling bad for customers when they don't have any money or they think I really like them, I hate to hurt feelings. I have to constantly remind myself that no one is stupid enough to come into a SC and not know that I'm there to make money.

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    Veteran Member VeraLynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am so frustrated!!!!!

    I'm definately NOT shy OTC.... it's probably the "not worth the money" thing. Actually, I'd bet on it.


    Gonna try your writing it down thing.. thanks.
    Modeling photos, bio, & lots more at


    "A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." -Herm Albright

    "Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud." -Sophocles

    "A stripper takes off her clothes; she does not have to take off her dignity."
    -One of Indie's Girlfriends

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am so frustrated!!!!!

    On the way to work, PEP TALK. Look in the mirror and say aloud, "I am the hottest and sexiest woman in the club. I will make all the money, I won't take no for an answer." Repeat. I swear by this. And Others have QFT and said it works for them too.

    I think you're overanalyzing but if you walk on the floor with the knowledge that you ARE the best there is in the club, you WILL make the money. period.

    And those nights when you tell yourself that, as mentioned in your OP, it's because your self-worth and sexiness are coming through in your body language and your confidence is therefore very attractive.

    Love it!

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    Featured Member MarvelGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am so frustrated!!!!!

    The pep talk really does help! It sounds kind of silly but it works. I have a girlfriend who gives me a pep talk every time we work together. I friggin love when she's there, because when I'm down after being told no over and over again, she'll ask me "Why aren't you dancing and making some money?"

    me:They all told me no...
    her: You don't take no for an answer! You're gorgeous, you get your butt over there and tell them that they are getting a dance from you because you are the hottest girl in the club.
    me:ok...I'm going, I'm going.
    her: I mean it, and if they say no again you tell them I'm going to kick their ass.

    I always get dances after this exchange. Always. Now I do it for myself when she isn't there which isn't quite as good but it still makes a huge difference.

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    Veteran Member VeraLynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I am so frustrated!!!!!

    Thanks for the suggestions and advice, ladies.

    Pre-work pep-talks it is!

    I have the sexiest natural body in the club, AND I'm a mature, sensual, 31-year old who still gets age guesses of 21 or YOUNGER. Muah!


    -EDIT: I feel better already.. working tomorrow night.
    Modeling photos, bio, & lots more at


    "A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." -Herm Albright

    "Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud." -Sophocles

    "A stripper takes off her clothes; she does not have to take off her dignity."
    -One of Indie's Girlfriends

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